


I'll Be Free When The World Ends

by aworldofwords



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Bad Boy Jughead Jones, Betty is Naive But Not Shy, Betty is Naive But She Knows What She Wants, Childhood Trauma, Comfort, Dark Jughead Jones, Dom Jughead Jones, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mild Smut, Not a Slow Burn Fic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Betty Cooper, Post-Apocalypse, Pregnancy, Pregnant Betty Cooper, Protective Jughead Jones, Relationship(s), Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Sweet Jughead Jones, Trust Issues, bughead - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 13:50:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 48
Words: 134,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17961791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aworldofwords/pseuds/aworldofwords
Summary: Betty Cooper wasn't used to friends, wasn't used to people. Her mother made her believe that to succeed in life she needed to concentrate on school and school alone. Nothing else. No friends. No boyfriends. No one. She felt imprisoned in her own house. She hated her life but she was looking ahead for the day she would leave for college. Then the world went up in flames and everything changed. She was alone in a post apocalyptic world and she preferred it that way. Until the circumstances obliged her to change her mind.





	1. Then And Now

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody! I'm new in the fanfiction world. I've always loved writing so I thought "Why not?". And here I am. Please, be kind… I'll do my best to update regularly. Also, english isn't my first Language. There could be errors I don't see… I'll try to write as correctly as I can.  
> This fic is completely from Betty's point of view.

What can I tell about my life _after the end_?  
It sucked.  
What can I tell about my life just moments _before the end_?  
Well… it sucked, but at least I could hope in a brighter future. In a possible, maybe stable future.  
That’s what I, Betty, looked forward when my mother pushed me too hard, or when my sister made me feel like nothing at all, or when my father decided his family wasn’t important enough to stay. I thought about the future: college, a husband, children.  
I sure as hell didn’t know that the world was going to go up in flame.

*** 

The day of the end I was at the doctor's office, collecting a recipe for my mother. I was just getting inside the studio when the ground trembled. "It's just a little tremor", people around me said. And why not believe them? After all it lasted a couple of seconds.  
When I got out of there, I was still jumpy, but everyone kept going on with their lives as if nothing had actually happened.

At seventeen-year-old I had just gotten my license but in a small town like mine, I still preferred to walk… at least I could let some steam off.  
I didn’t have many friends. My mother was always so adamant to convince me that I was better off by myself, concentrating on school and extracurriculars. So, that’s why the only friends I could count on, somehow, were the gentle lady working at the library and a not very talkative girl in my English class. I liked it that way in the end. I could get out of there without the heartache of leaving people behind.

So, I was walking back from the doctor when a real, serious earthquake made me fall on the ground. Literally. I fell and couldn’t stand up for many minutes. And I wasn’t the only one… everyone around me was yelling and falling like autumn leaves. Cars crashed and lamp posts oscillated violently. I couldn’t even begin to understand what was happening. Then the ground begun to groan and where just a moment earlier there was a beautifully done street, later there was a huge chasm that went on and on and on… I couldn’t see the start of it nor the end. I was stuck on the ground, confused, scared and completely alone. Why? Because my house was exactly where the earth had cracked open. There was nothing left.  
  
For many minutes I stayed on the ground, paralyzed… unsure of what to do. Then the earth shook again and I knew I needed to move. I run into the first store and took as many bottles of water and energy bars that I could fit in my bag. The earth shook and everyone was screaming because it didn’t stop. Outside the store there was hell on earth… gas lines were exploding, fires were spreading, people were dying, and I felt overwhelmed. The little tv by the register showed images of destruction all around the world.  


*** 

I was walking along the main street that brought right outside the town, the ground still moaning and shaking. I kept walking, and walking… ignoring people running past me, ignoring fires, ignoring car crashes. I kept going until my feet started to hurt. Only then I stopped. Right in the middle of a deserted street, the night approaching and no one to count on other than myself.  
I hid inside the forest, between some bushes and under an old empty tree trunk but not too far away from the street… I didn’t need to get lost after all.  
In that moment, when I probably should have started to feel the weight of everything that was happening… the only thing that I could think of was that _I was free_.  
  
Was it bad that I almost felt relieved when I realized my mother was gone? That she wasn’t going to dictate over my life anymore? That I wasn’t a prisoner anymore even if everything was going to hell? Was it bad that even though I was alone in the world and maybe I was going to die sooner rather than later, my heart felt lighter?  
I laughed. I laughed in hysterics and then cried. Not for what I had lost, but for what I could finally have. I was free right when the world was ending.

*** 

That’s my past, almost two years ago. And I’m still alive. Still alone, but still free. I had found a stray dog a year before and since then he became my only companion. Together we loot from town to town, never staying too long because now people are hungry and angry. They’re dangerous and they don’t care if I’m young and alone… on the contrary if they see someone like me, they could very well take me and use me at their own volition. That’s not what I want. I am finally free, and I intend to be for as long as I’m able to survive.  
  
I have a backpack where I keep clothes taken some time ago from a store, food, a map that helps me move around, and weapons. A couple of hunting blades and a gun I found on a dead man a couple of months prior much to my discomfort.  
  
There’s not much left. It’s ridiculous how people go crazy when everything starts to go up in flame, metaphorically and literally. I understand of course, but if only they'd use their energy to think rather than fight, everything could already start to be better.  
  
No functioning cars, no electricity, except for some old generators, no internet, no communication. Nothing.  
What happened? I would love to know. I would love to understand. All I know is that before the end scientists kept saying the signals were all there for us to foresee: months of drought followed by uninterrupted days of rain. Dying bees, melting glaciers… I don't know what happened and maybe I should have cared more but the truth is… I’m free and part of me is selfishly happy that the end happened.  
  
Sometimes the earth still shakes, not as much as in the beginning, but still… I wake startled by a tremor and a crack.  
Nothing is as it was anymore. The earth has changed: where there were beautiful valleys now there are chasms or hills. For this reason, it’s not very easy to follow the map… I have the general idea of where I am, sometimes I see a broken-down sign and I can point that out on the map, but other than that I pretty much follow my instinct.

*** 

My dog barks and I’m catapulted out of my thoughts. It’s almost dark and I need to look for a place to spend the night… we don’t want to remain in the open for longer than we must.

“What is it?” I murmur quietly, squatting beside him. He yips softly and I scout the area. I can’t see anything at all but I believe in my dog’s instincts better then my own so I put the leash on him and start to move away from the cemetery of old cars I wanted to search.  
I stay low on the ground, hiding behind the cars and trying to be as silent as I can. If I’m able to reach the forest, I can hide in there until morning.  
But then the earth starts shaking so badly that I can’t stay upright. Months had passed since an earthquake of such degree.

“That’s why you were barking!” I exclaim holding on an old car.

When the ground opens under my feet, I panic for the very first time since the beginning of the end. My dog barks, wrenching himself free from my hold and he moves away from the chasm. Me? I was stuck between it and the car.

“Well… what a fantastic way to die after all this time!”

The dog is barking, the earth is opening up and the only thing I can do to survive is trying to clamber over the car. That’s what I do, or at least try to do.

“ _Damn it_. Stop shaking!”

Someone grasps my arms right when the last bit of ground collapses under my feet. I’m dragged over the car and far away from the chasm.  
For a moment I feel grateful toward whomever saved me, but then I realize that they’re still holding me, and I freeze.  
Sensing my distress, the person lets me free and takes a couple of steps back. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I nod going toward my dog. “Thank you for saving me.”

“What were you doing?” The man asks.

“I got stuck. Didn’t know the ground was going to open up under my feet.”

“Right.”

“Right. Well, thank you and all but we’re leaving.” I turn around and I’m already halfway under the cover of the trees when he calls me again. I stop but don’t turn.

“I wouldn’t recommend that way. There’s a camp full of not very trustworthy men.”

I look at him over my shoulder. “And you are? Trustworthy?”

“I just saved your life.”

I huff and turn around. “Maybe the ground took them all back to hell.”

“Maybe. Maybe they're moving this way right now.”

I stare at him, trying to gauge this man in front of me who saved my life. I can’t see much of his face; his head is covered by a beanie and a scarf hides most of his face. “What do you want?”

“Nothing. You seem lonely.”

I frown. “What if I am?”

“We could keep each other company.”

“Listen… I can’t stress enough how thankful I am to you for saving my life… but I don’t think that's such a good idea. I don’t know you and I’m not good with people.”

He moves toward me and I instantly take a step back. The dog growls and he stops with his hands raised. “Okay… I won’t come any closer but aren’t you tired of being alone?”  
  
“I’m not alone.” I say matter-of-factly.  
  
He snorts. “Let me rephrase. Aren’t you tired of being alone with a dog?”

I blink. “I don’t know you.”

“And I don’t know you either… but I’m willing to take a step toward you, if you let me.” He starts uncoiling the scarf from around his face before taking the beanie off. His hair is a soft brown from what I can see in the darkness. “I have a camp a few miles from here… come with me. There are people, food and water…”

I cringe. “Why should I trust you? You could be looking for someone to use as you wish. And I’m not very good with enclosed spaces and laws.”

He smiles. “First of all, I’m gay. I’m not trying to _lure you into my trap_. Second of all… yeah, there are laws but we’re a small group. We’re not a community… we do what is best to stay alive.”

“I-I don’t know…”

“Come on. Let’s make a pact, you follow me there… we don’t even need to talk if you don’t want to, and then once you see the group you can decide if you want to stay or not. Alright?”

“What were you doing in this place?” I ask.

“I was looting, exactly like you.”

Pondering my options for a moment I look toward the forest before staring at the man in front of me. “Did you see me searching the cars?”

He nods. “Yes, but I didn’t want to scare you. Your dog may have felt my presence.”

“He’s very protective.” I mutter holding him near.

“I noticed, he can come with us. We’d love a mascot!” He smiles. “So, what is gonna be?”


	2. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little thought that has nothing to do with the chapter I had fortunately already put together: I'm actually heartbroken about the news about Luke Perry's demise and all I can think about is him and his family. It's a tragic loss for everyone who knew him and for the world in general. He was a good person and he's gone too soon.

I’m walking behind this man, sided by my dog and careful that no one else is following us. I agreed to go with him because after all he was right… I’ve been alone far too long. I’m not even sure if I know how to _be_ with other human beings. Maybe I’m not capable of having any kind of relationship with anyone other than my dog.

***

The first couple of hours we don't speak to each other, liking it that way. I don’t want to lower my guard but after the third hour goes by and he doesn’t seem to have any intention of slowing down I start to feel uneasy. The moon is already up in the sky and I'm almost dead on my feet.

“How long do we need to walk again?”

He laughs. “We’re almost there… It doesn’t seem like the earthquake has changed anything here.”

“Okay. My dog is tired and as much as I love a good hike, I’m also going to fall asleep any minute now. So, I need an estimated time of arrival or I’m gonna go into the forest and find some place to sleep.”

He stops and turns smiling. “Ten minutes. I swear.”

“Ten minutes. Then I’m out of here.”

“You’ll see.”

I snort and keep following him.

“Do you mind telling me your name?”

I blink. “Do you mind telling me yours?”

“Actually no, I don’t mind! I’m Kevin.”

I ponder for a moment if giving my name to a complete stranger is the right thing to do or not but, in the end, why should I care? Even if I tell him my name, what’s he gonna do? Stalk me on social medias? I snort loudly, drawing his attention back on me. “Sorry, I was thinking about something else. Nice name.”

“What about you?”

“I’m Betty.”

“Betty. Very old school. I like it.”

I smile briefly, not sure how to respond. No one has ever given me a compliment, after all.

“We’re here. We just need to enter the forest and you’ll see a small group of people not too far away. I’ll show you.”

The dog barks, surely attracting everyone’s attention. “Quiet.” I murmur patting his head.

“Does he have a name?”

“What is it with your fixation with names?” I ask maybe a little to acidly.

He shrugs. “Just a way to connect, I guess. And not lose what is left of our humanity.”

A shiver runs down my spine. “I didn’t give him a name. I never had an animal to name…”

“He needs one! You can’t call him dog!” He exclaims affronted.

“He listens to me alright.” I mutter.

He shrugs. “Your dog, your decision. But if you need suggestions, I can give you some.”

*** 

The first perceivable thing is the chatter. It's not very loud but still loud enough for whomever is passing to locate them in the quietness of the forest. Not far from us there’s a group of people huddled around a small fire. I count six heads, but I can’t very well distinguish one from the other.  
They see Kevin first, while I remain hidden in the darkness.

“Welcome back! We were starting to worry after that earthquake…” A feminine voice says.

“I’m sorry, I went further away this time. The earthquake took me by surprise and… I met someone.”

He turns toward me, and I would really like to get as far away from here as I can.

“Come on, don’t be shy.”

“I’m not shy.” I grunt taking a couple of steps toward him; the dog follows behind.  
They are all looking at me, wary.

“Kevin.” Someone mutters from the far side of the camp. “You know the rules.”

“She was falling into a chasm during the earthquake. I saved her and she’s alone. I said we were going to be humans and help her.”

“Not that I need your help.” I snap. “Listen, I’m going. Thank you for the company.”

I turn away, ready to leave and get back on the road but I’m stopped by a hand gripping my wrist. “Please. He’s just protective.”

I look at Kevin's hand then back at the group. I can see a couple of girls staring back.  
The dog barks in my direction, confused by my own behavior probably.

“She’s just one person, Jug. Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt…” One of them comes into my defense before joining me. “Come with me, there’s food for you and your dog.”

She doesn’t touch me, probably seeing my reluctance, but she still holds a hand by my shoulders… leading the way.  
I enter the group of people warily, keeping the dog tight by my side.

“I’m Veronica. We don’t bite, I swear. We’re just being safe with strangers… I’m sure you understand!”

I nod. “I do.”

“Were you alone for long?”

“Since the beginning.” I sit on the ground, by the fire. The dog curls up beside me.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” The other girl adds softly. “Most of us were together, thankfully. I’m Toni.”

I smile tightly.

“These rude guys are Sweet Pea, Fangs and Jughead, our leader…” She mocks looking at the guy leaned against a tree and wearing all black.

“I won’t stay. Kevin insisted…” I murmur.

“You can stay-” Veronica starts to say before being interrupted.

“What’s your name?” The leader asks.

He strikes a nerve in me and I find myself counting back from ten to one before opening my mouth. “Betty.”

“Why were you alone?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” I snap.

He takes a step toward the light. “Actually, it is if you want to stay with us.”

I bite my tongue once again. “I was outside, and my home went down a chasm.”

Veronica stands from her seat and goes toward Jughead. What a name. “Stop it, Jug. She’s just a girl!”

“She could come from another group, you know it very well!” He growls in her face.

This was a bad idea. I stand quickly, disrupting my sleeping dog and move away. “I’m leaving. Dog, come.”

He follows me right away and I don’t stop, not even when Kevin calls me. I keep walking and walking until I’m back on the road. “What a fucking asshole. We’re good on our own, dog. Right?” He barks.

“I know you’re hungry, let’s hide for the night. I’ll give you something to eat and tomorrow we’ll look for a place to loot.” He wiggles his tail at me.

We cross the street and sit by a group of trees. I open my sack and take the remaining of the dog-food I had found in an abandoned store some time ago. “We need to restock, buddy.”

I look at him while he eats, thinking about what happened back with those people. I feel my eyes sting. Was I really that compromised that I couldn’t stay with other human beings? I sink my nails in the palm of my hands, breaking the skin. “I’m a mess. I’m a damn mess.” The dog yips and looks at me before going back to his meal.  
“You’re an asshole!” I hear a girl shout. I know it’s probably Veronica, the girl from Kevin’s camp. I make myself smaller. I don’t want to be found. “Now you go, look for her and say you’re sorry for acting like a dick!”

“Please, leave me alone.” I murmur fisting my hands.

I close my eyes and try to push everything that has happened in the last six hours out of my brain. The dog has once again curled up beside me, keeping me warm and I start to relax a little bit.  
I’m almost asleep when I hear a branch crack under the weight of a boot, probably. Dog lifts his head and looks behind us, toward the street. I stay as silent as I can… not wanting to be found.  
  
“I know you’re out here.” An unknown voice calls. “I saw your pretty blonde head peep out from behind some trees earlier.”

The blood freezes into my veins. As quietly as I can I open my bag and search for the gun, hoping to god I didn’t need to use it.

“Don’t hide. We’re going to have fun!”

_Please, please, please go away._

“Blondie, I’m coming for you!”

I know he’s not anywhere near us. His voice isn’t in our proximity and I could probably run away… but in the dark I’d risk falling and he’d be on me right away. I pat my dog on the head, trying to reassure him… we just need to stay silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like, kudos are appreciated!


	3. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty needs to make a decision. What will happen?

The man keeps calling me by horrible names and I can't help but cringe. My heart is almost bursting out of the ribcage and for the first time ever I’m scared for reasons that have nothing to do with the end of the world, earthquakes or whatever. If he takes me, he’ll use me in ways _I don't even want to imagine._  
A hand suddenly covers my mouth and I panic. The dog growls, surely attracting the attention of the other man still looking for me.

“Be quiet.”

Recognizing the voice, I’m not sure if I’m more relieved or annoyed; still... I nod frantically, and he immediately frees my mouth.

“He was following me.” I whisper.

“I heard. Stay down. I’m going to take care of him.” He stands and I see the sledgehammer in his other hand.

He whistles then and the man laughs. “Are you courting me?”

Jughead silently signals me to talk to the man.

“What? Why?” I murmur.

“I need to see him.” He whispers back.

I swallow through my dry throat before shouting. “I am here!”

“I think I know the way! We’re going to have so much fun!”

When he appears from behind a tree my dog growls and Jughead strikes him right on his head. The man falls on the ground and doesn’t move anymore. Blood is everywhere and I gag, thinking I might actually vomit on an empty stomach.

“Let’s go.” He mutters.

“I’m not coming anywhere with you!” I stand up quickly, followed by my dog.

He snorts. “How thankful of you.”

“What do you want me to do? Kneel before you and kiss your feet? I didn’t know that man was following me!” I snap.

“Don’t tempt me.” He growls taking a step toward me. Then he closes his eyes and breathes deeply. “Listen, I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. Kevin took me by surprise and I’m not a very cordial guy. Never was. But he is right… you can’t stay out here on your own. This place is full of lunatics like that one and you won’t be able to survive on your own much longer.”

“I was doing just fine until I met Kevin.” I mutter.

“From what I heard he saved your life. I’m sorry, okay? And this is the last time you’ll hear me apologize.”

“You’re not helping your case.” I snap once again.

His nostrils flare. “Oh, how much I’d love to make you lay down over my knees.” He mutters trough his teeth.

“I’m sorry, what?”

He inhales deeply. “Come with me, please. Stay the night… if you want to leave, you’ll do so in the morning.”

I ponder his offer before standing up. I put my gun back in the backpack and take a step toward him. “Okay.”

“Good.”

I follow the very unfriendly guy back to the camp.

“There’s some food for you back there.” He says after a moment.

“Thank you.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

“Not your business.” I mutter.

He stops and turns around. “Stop saying that.”

“Or? You’re going to make me kneel before you?”

“ _Don’t tempt me_. Please.” He growls.

I sigh rolling my eyes. “The other day.”

He blinks, confused. “What?”

“The other day was the last time I ate. You asked, didn’t you?”

He stares at me for a moment before resuming his walk. The dog nuzzles my leg, as if asking me if I was sure about this. “Not at all, dog.” I mutter.

“What is it?”

“I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Oh right, the dog.”

I stifle back the answer I so wanted to throw at him. What does this guy want?

“How old are you?” He asks a second later.

“What is it? A questioning? I’m nineteen.”

“Young. Not sure how you survived this long on your own.”

“Pure luck!” I snap mockingly.

He snorts back a laugh and I bite the inside of my cheek.  
When we’re back at the camp everyone’s already asleep, thankfully. I'm dead tired and all I want to do is find a place to bunk down and sleep. I’m not even hungry anymore.

“The food is by the fire.”

“Will you spank me if I tell you that I’m not hungry? I’d rather sleep right now.”

He looks at me with a strange glint in his eyes. I have to admit he’s handsome in a dark and sinful way. He screams danger from every pore. I’d love to know his story, a thought that scares me to hell actually… I don’t know how to talk to people without getting defensive. I don’t know how to be around people without feeling out of place… I have my mother to thank for this side of my personality, fact that angers me to the bones.

“You can sleep wherever you want to… I’m going to keep guard.”

I watch him enter the darkness of the forest, kind of charmed by his presence somehow. I've never talked with a guy who wasn’t my father or a teacher… Never.  
I fall into a deep sleep that night, exhausted from all the events of the day, with the dog curled up by my feet. Maybe Kevin is right… I should name him after all.

*** 

I wake up pretty early the following morning. The others are still sleeping and the fire is completely out. The dog is sniffling around not too far from me and in that moment I evaluate what to do. First of all, I need to pee. My bladder is screaming for relief and I can’t really do anything until that problem is solved. So, I stand and go looking for a place I can do my business undisturbed with the dog right behind me.

“I think I should give you a name, dog. What do you think?”

He barks happily, as if understanding exactly what I’m saying. “What about… Bob? I’m not good with this naming thing. I’m sorry doggie.” I pat him on his head.

I find a thick bush where I can relieve myself and then I start thinking about what to do. I’m halfway between the camp and the road… It would take me a moment to disappear and go back to my lonesome. After all, who are these people to me? I wouldn’t even know how to live with them… Instinctively I take a couple of steps toward the road. They wouldn’t miss me… they don’t know me either after all. How could I be missed?

“Are you going away then?”

I jump on he spot, scared to death, and turn around. “What the hell? Are you crazy?”

Jughead is leaning against a tree, smoking. “You were the one who didn’t see me.”

Wait… did he see me pee? I feel my cheeks get warm. “Did you… see me earlier?”

“You mean when you went into the bushes?”

“Oh my gosh! You perv!”

He laughs. “I didn’t look, don’t worry.”

“You make me want to leave for good.” I mutter turning away. “You’re so… frustrating!”

“They called me worst things. So, are you leaving?”

“I don’t know. I’m not good with people.”

“Why?”

I sigh. “Why do you care?”

“Because if you want to stay with us, we need to know your story… We’ll tell you ours if you feel more comfortable.”

“I- I don’t know.”

He inhales one last breath of smoke before stomping on the cigarette butt and taking a step toward me. “Come on, let’s eat… we’ll talk by the fire with the others.”

He starts walking without waiting for an answer but in the end… he gave me an option and I’m so tempted to go with him. “Bob!” Somehow the dog knows I'm calling him because he barks back. “Good boy! That’s your name!” I scratch his neck. “Let’s go. We’re going to stick around with these guys for a while.”

*** 

We reach the camp a couple of minutes later. They’re all doing something… someone’s reviving the fire, someone’s collecting wood, someone’s still trying to understand in which planet they woke up. I smile. Kevin clearly isn't a morning person just as much as the girl who came to my defenses the other night.  
I sit beside Kevin quietly, not saying a word… just basking in the company for once.

“So…” Jughead speaks over the others. “I was thinking that a little introduction to our new friend could be useful for her to make a decision about her staying or not. She agreed to tell us her story, but we need to share too.”

“Why don’t you start Jughead?” The tall guy wearing a checkered plaid shirt says from his seat by the fire.

“Don’t be rude, Sweet Pea. You start.”

They share a heated glare before he gives up. “Alright, alright. You’re mean, Jug. Long story short… I was part of a gang before this mess started. Me, Jug, Fangs and Toni. But that’s their story to tell. I lived in a trailer park, worked here and there and took care of my grandmother. Thankfully she died before the world went up in flame. And… that’s it.”

I nod in recognition, thanking him for his effort.

“I’m Toni. I’m proudly lesbian and as Sweet Pea over there said I was part of a gang that was more like a family to me. No mother, no father. My grandpa died too before the end of the world and I’m sad because he would have kicked asses, I’m sure of it. He was a badass even in his old age. Also… I loved photography and I wanted to go to college…”

“I’m sure you would have kicked asses too in any university, Toni!” Veronica reassures her gently. “Hi! I was the rich bitch with friends that my parents hated! Which was funny because Mr. and Mrs. Lodge were part of the mob! Considering that I didn't want anything to do with that I emancipated myself and left them after the earthquake. A couple of months later I met Kevin and together we went from town to town until we found this group of losers here. I don’t know if my parents are alive or not and I really don’t care.”

Kevin smiles at me bumping his shoulder against mine. “You know I’m gay. I actually don’t have a tragic story. I was exploring the world when it ended… I don’t know where my father is. Or my mother… She was on a military tour in Afghanistan. I’ve been with these guys ever since we found them almost a year ago.”

“Thank you for sharing your stories with me…” I murmur quietly, then I move my gaze toward the last guy before Jughead. “Fangs, right?”

He nods and smiles. “Nice to meet you, girl. Yes, I’m Fangs… I don’t have much to say. Part of a gang and alone in the world. I lived with Toni for a while then with Sweet Pea after his grandma died. I worked in a pub and wanted to get out of my town as soon as possible… What about you?”

The blood freezes inside my veins. I look at Jughead, sitting on the ground with his back leaned against a tree. Why didn’t he talk?

“I-I don’t know… I've been alone since the beginning. My house went down a chasm during the very first earthquake with my mother and sister inside. Not that I’ve missed them ever since… Sometimes I wonder if my father is still alive, but I wouldn’t know where to find him anyway considering that he left us many years ago.”

“What about your friends?” Veronica asks curiously.

I shrug. “I didn’t have many friends. My mother controlled my life… that’s why I don’t really know how to be around people. My only friends were the librarian and a girl who didn’t speak… So, it doesn’t bother me… being alone… I’m used to it…”

They all stare at me, mouths agape and incredulous. Jughead seems lost in his thoughts and for a moment I feel like he’s going to stand up and leave.

“I’m sorry to hear that…” Toni whispers in the quietness, as if not wanting to scare me away.

“My father was an alcoholic.” Jughead mumbles. “My mother left us with my sister when I was sixteen. I was a loner for a long time… So, I know how it feels to be uncomfortable around people. It takes time. If you stay with us, we’ll try our best to make you feel at home… you won’t ever need to flee, nor you’ll have to get accostumed to being alone. If you stay you become part of our family and we’re going to take care of each other. Do you like the sound of that?”

I stare at him, surprised and somehow touched. My stomach squeezes and it seems like someone has started to stitch my heart back together. “I like how it sound…” I murmur still looking at him.

He smiles. “Good. Then let’s start the day!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos if you like!


	4. New Beginnings?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's a slightly longer chapter!  
> Betty gets to know Jughead a little better from now on.

We leave soon after and I learn that they don’t stay in the same place for too long. Jughead prefers to always be on the move… he’s jumpy, looking around even when he’s talking with his friends. I don’t know how old he is or how he became the leader of this group but from what I’ve seen he seems the most qualified for the job. Maybe I’ll be able to talk to him someday but for now I prefer to keep it to myself and not get Bob out of my sight.

“So, did you name him?” Kevin asks disrupting my thoughts.

I nod. “Bob. I think he likes it.”

“Are you even sure he’s male?”

“Well… yeah! I’m pretty sure he is!”

He laughs. “Alright then! We have a mascot guys!”

They cheer and yell and scratch at my dog’s ears. He’s more than happy to let them do so. He’s too well behaved for his own good… maybe I should train him to attack. He's very protective but he never really did anything more than growl.  
I let him stroll around, let them play with him while I mull over the situation. I still feel out of place, and I'm not sure I’ll feel included anytime soon… but maybe they can become the family I’ve never had.

“Where are we supposed to go?” I ask Kevin after a while.

“I don’t know. Jughead knows the way usually… he scouts the place before finding the right spot, then he guides us there.”

“Okay. It's just that… My mind screams at me to just leave and I’m actually fighting my own self not to run.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, we don’t want you to feel trapped. If you want to leave, you can leave!”

“I know but… maybe this is good for me. Not being by myself…”

“It’s going to be okay, you’ll see!”

I smile, somehow. I need to get used to things I never did or never felt and I know it’s going to take some time.

*** 

A couple of hours later we’re sitting by a river, refreshing and collecting water while Bob is splashing around the stream.

“Are you hungry?” I look upward and Jughead is standing over me, covering the speck of sun I was actually basking in.

I shake my head. “No, thank you.”

“You didn’t eat last night… and this morning none of us had breakfast. You should sustain yourself. Come on…”

He’s not wrong… I was so wrapped up in my mind that I didn’t even think about eating.”

He holds out his hand to me. “Let’s go look. I’ll show you how we do it.”

I may have looked at his hand strangely because he snorts. “I’m not going to bite you.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, show me how it’s done.”

*** 

We trek around the bushes for some time, collecting berries and wild fruits.

“Are you all vegans?”

He laughs. “Don’t offend me please. We’re not! I’ve set traps while scouting. I hope something got stuck in them… rabbits, pigs… whatever.”

“My mother would probably let me eat the berries…”

“Why?”

“She wanted me to look perfect, be perfect in every aspect of my life… She gave me pills to keep my weight under control and for a long time she made me eat only vegetables…”

He turns toward me, frowning. “Was she mad? You were what… sixteen?”

“From fourteen till the day of the earthquake… It took me so long to get used to meat after that…”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

I shrug. “It’s in the past…”

He doesn’t answer. I'm trying to understand this guy… Yesterday he seemed a completely different person. Maybe he has a double personality.

*** 

We walk for a long time but every trap turns out empty and he’s growing more and more frustrated.

“ _Damn it!_ ” He shouts after the last failure. “Where did the animals go!?”

“Is it normal?”

“No! It seems like they all fled overnight or something.” He mutters looking around.

I feel chills run up my back. “Is it supposed to be this quiet?”

He stops and listens. There’s not a single bird chirping. “Let’s go back. Now.”

“Why?” I panic.

“If there’s one thing my father taught me is that animals know when something bad is going to happen.” He starts moving fast with me right on his heels.

“Are we far from the others?”

“I don't think so. Keep up!”

We run through the forest… as much as the roots and the bumpy ground permit us. I’m freaking out, literally.

“Do you think there’s going to be another earthquake?”

“Maybe. Stay close please."

And then suddenly a loud, deep crack booms around us. I almost fall on the ground. Everything shakes for a moment before the earth opens up before us, taking trees and soil with it. Jughead drags me away and we both run in the opposite direction as fast as we can. We stop only when the noise dies down and all there’s left is a big chasm. I stare at it, speechless. Two times in two days… am I cursed? Did my mother curse me from hell so that I would live a miserable life? I shiver.

“Are you okay?” He asks breathless. He’s sitting on the ground with his head in his hands.

I nod. “What is going on? Nothing like this happened since the very beginning…”

“It looks like a purge, or something… It was an untouched place. Maybe it’s the earth’s way of cleansing herself.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“Why not? People demolished and polluted this planet for centuries after centuries… it was a matter of time before it rebelled, somehow.”

I stare at him, dumbfounded. “You keep on surprising me.”

“Come on, let’s try to get around the chasm and see if there’s a way of circling it to reach the others. Hoping they survived.”

“My dog…” I murmur, feeling cold inside.

“People were there and you think about a dog?”

“He’s my dog! I’ve been with him and only him for a long time!” I shout.

“And he was with my friends! Let’s not fight, alright? We’ll try to reach them. I’m sure they’re all okay.”

I move away from him and in the general direction of the river… trying to look for a way to move around the chasm but finding it impossible.

“Where do we go? Everything’s gone! Do we flank this hole until we find its end?” I ask him.

He shakes his head. “I don’t know… it could go on for miles. We’d get too far away.”

“At least we could get back to the street? Maybe they’ll do the same.”

“We could try. That’s a good idea...”

“Are we far from it?”

“We shouldn’t… come on. It'll be dark in no time. We have to cover as much ground as we can before we have to find a place for the night.”

*** 

“Where the fuck is the street!” He exclaims after hours of walking.

“The landscape changed. There’s no other explanation, Jughead.”

“No shit.”

“Hey! I didn’t do anything to you! Cool off or I’m leaving right this moment!” I snap. I’m tired and worried about my dog. Yeah, my dog. I wanna be selfish and I don’t care. I shouldn’t have left him with them.

“You’re not going anywhere! Don’t start with this shit right now.”

I blink. “Oh, I’m sorry! Didn’t know I was your possession to control!”

He grinds his teeth together. “Let’s. Not. Fight. Okay? We’ll keep looking in the morning. With this darkness the risk of falling into a hole is pretty high.”

“Oh, so I have to pretend you did not just snap at me?”

“You snapped at me too.”

“Yeah! Because of you!”

He growls. “Can you stop picking at every fucking thing I say?”

I shut up and cross my arms over my chest.

“Let’s find some place to hide, alright?”

I follow him into the darkness. I have zero intentions of speaking to him right now. He’s such a jerk… I’d probably be better off by myself.  
  


*** 

He deems all the caves unsafe, rightfully so, considering the almost recurring earthquakes of these days. In the end we find a canopy of trees and bushes good enough for us to crawl under and pass the night into.  
I put myself as far away from him as possible and hug my knees to my chest, hoping to block everything else. That’s why I’ve always stayed by myself… no one to answer to, no one to be worried about beside my dog. I should have left when I woke up this morning. I was stupid enough to believe I could have become part of a family. _Stupid, stupid, Betty._  
I sniff into my arms, trying very hard not to let him know I’m crying. I don’t want his snarky comments or even worse, his pity. _I should have left_.

“Why are you crying?” He asks after a while.

“Why do you even care?”

“I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just worried abiut the group.”

“Well, I’m worried too!”

He heaves a sigh. “They’re okay. Tomorrow will try to call out their names… I’m sure your dog will hear.”

I shrug. “Probably. If he’s not down that chasm.”

He puts a hand against my shoulder. “They’re okay. I’m know it.”

I shake my head. “That’s why I wanted to be alone. No one to care about… Maybe I shouldn’t even have taken the dog with me. I would have spared myself from the heartache.”

“Life doesn’t work like that.”

“It does for me. Always has.”

“You lived in a psycho family who believed you didn’t need friends… I’m sure you believe that’s how it works, but it’s not.”

I say nothing back. I know he’s right… I know everything he's saying is true, but in a world like this maybe it’s better if I only care for myself.

“Come on, let’s eat something. You’re still on an empty stomach since yesterday.” He passes me a bundle of paper. “There are some berries in there and I should have some dry meat in the pack.”

“I’m not really hungry.”

He glares at me. “I don’t want to carry you around when you faint. Eat. Now.”

I roll my eyes, but I know he’s right. “Okay, Sir.”

He keeps staring at me until I start munching on the berries, then he rummages into his backpack.  
He extracts a couple of dry meat sticks and gives them to me too.

“I have some more if you want.”

“Thank you.”

We eat in silence. My stomach is starting to wake up from the hibernation of these last couple of days.

“What are we going to do?” I murmur after some time.

“We’ll figure something out, don’t worry. Okay?”

I nod. “How did you become the leader of the group? How old are you?”

He shrugs. “I was the leader of the gang back then. My father got locked up and I took his place. He was King of the gang, I was the next in line. I’ve been the leader since I was your age… almost five years ago.”

“You don’t seem much older than me.”

He laughs. “Not sure if it’s a compliment or not.”

I flush. “N-no, I mean… It’s a compliment.”

He shakes his head in amusement. I must look like a joke. I don’t actually know how to approach a guy… the thought kinda scares me somehow and being alone in his company doesn’t help. He’s handsome, that much I can see. The problem is that I’m naïve. Literally. I know nothing about men in general. I huff and put my head over my knees. I hate my mother.

“I didn’t mean to offend you…”

“You didn’t. Don’t worry, I was joking.”

I smile. “It’s just… I’m not used to this. I’m not used to anything at all. I don’t know how to be around people… men… I’m… I’m naïve. And I’m sorry if I sound stupid-”

“You don’t.” He interrupts me. “Okay? Don’t worry about these things with me. I’ll try to understand you more from now on. I forgot were you come from…”

“I’m so embarrassed right now.” I hide my face in between my legs.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. I’m sure anyone would have wanted you if your mother wasn’t a dictator…”

I feel my face heat up. “No. I don’t think that would have happened…”

He snorts. “You’re beautiful even with dirt on your face and tangled hair.”

I straighten my back and look at him. “Are you making fun of me?”

“No. No, I’m not. I swear.” He promises.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Come on, let’s try to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.” He holds his hand toward me, and I stare at it.

“What?”

“It’s going to get cold and we can’t light a fire. It’s better if we sleep as close to each other as we can. Body eat… you know.”

“Oh! Yeah… okay.”

I shuffle closer to him and we lay down. He puts an arm around me, spooning my body from behind and a shiver runs along my spine. I'm not used to this kind of human touch.

“Is this okay?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“Goodnight then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like, please leave kudos or comment! It's the only way for me to understand if I'm doing this right or not!


	5. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty tries to be her own person without her mother's ghost still dictating over her every thought.

I wake during the night literally freezing. Jughead has turned on his other side and I’m not sure how I’ll be able to go back to sleep. I absolutely need to look for a quilt and heavier clothes. The weather is starting to get too fucking cold.  
I move around, trying to find a comfortable position but I’m actually freezing.

“What is it?” Jughead asks sleepily.

“I’m cold… I can’t sleep.” My teeth are chattering.

He turns back toward me. “Come here…”

I face him, trying really hard to suppress the shivers running all over my body. He takes my hands and puts them under his hoodie.

“Jeez, are you sure you’re not dying?”  
  
I shake my head. “I don’t know, I can’t feel anything right now. I need heavier clothes.”

“We’ll look for something in the morning. There’s a store not far from here…”

I shiver once again and he hugs me to himself, making me feel self-conscious. I am not used to guys holding me like this. I don’t know where to put my feet, my head… I’m uncomfortable and he must sense it.

“What is it?”

I feel his warm breath on my face. “I- I don’t know how to position myself…”

He pushes my body as close to his as possible, holding my legs between his and keeping my face under his chin. My hands are stuck between us, still under his hoodie. My cheeks heat-up… I’m embarrassed by this intimacy and my heart beats so fast. For a moment I’m scared he's going to feel it too.

“Is this okay?”

I nod, unable to open my mouth. This unnerving stranger somehow makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. It’s destabilizing.

“You know, there are other ways to keep warm!” He jokes, clearly trying to ease the tension I’m feeling.

I lift my head, startled. “Don’t make me regret being civil with you!”

He laughs. “I’m just messing with you, don’t worry!”

I bury my face under his chin and smile. I never once thought about this aspect of a relationship with another human being in my life. My mother put the fear of God over me, saying that having sex outside of holy marriage was wrong and impure… Then the world ended, and it never crossed my mind. God still took my mother and sister even if they weren’t sinners. Or maybe they were? Do I even believe in a God above?

“Do you believe in God?” I ask him after a while, his hands are rubbing over my back, trying to transfer some of his warmth to me.

He shrugs. “I’m not sure. Why are you asking?”

“My mother was very religious. She always said that I needed to be pure and untouched if I wanted to end up in heaven…”

He stops his hands. “Are you sure she wasn’t nuts? Had she escaped a madhouse?”

I smile. “She sure as hell wasn’t normal.”

“So, she made you believe you had to be pure… I don’t know how you didn’t run away.”

“I wanted to graduate and get as far away from there as I could. I would have started anew then…”

“You don’t know what you’ve missed.” He says nonchalantly.

I frown. “What did I miss?”

“Having sex isn’t a crime. You could have enjoyed yourself without the fear of going to Hell.”

I blush. “How did we end up talking about sex again?”

He laughs loudly. “You told me your mother wanted you to be pure!”

“ _I hate her so much_. She took everything away from me… my choice, _my life_! I shouldn’t have let her do that…”

He squeezes my shoulders tightly. “You’re not dead. You still can have a life, you can do the things she scared you into not doing…”

I lift my head and look at him, my stomach clenching. “I-I don’t know.”

He doesn’t say anything else for some time, he just hugs me to his chest and tries to get me warm. His body feels like a furnace, even in the cold of the night, and all I can think about is what he said. This guy is messing with my mind. I can’t even regret meeting him… Yeah, he’s an ass most of the time but if it wasn’t for him, I would have been taken by that man yesterday. And now he’s trying to comfort me… And to top it all off, we don’t really know each other but we’re pressed together as if our lives depended on it.

“In the morning we’ll keep searching for the others. If we don’t find them, we’ll go to the store and look for something warmer for you to wear… Unless the earthquake has destroyed it. Then we’ll need to find another place.”

“Okay. It seems the most logical thing to do…”

“We’ll bunk down in the store if we find it. It’ll be a bit more protected.”

I nod into his chest. “Do you think we’re going to find them?”

“I hope so. They’re my family, most of them.”

“I’m sorry for acting so selfishly yesterday… I didn’t mean to make you believe I don’t care about other human beings.”

“I over reacted too. We were scared… It’s okay.”

I smile. “You’re not such a scary leader…”

“And you’re not so bad with people either… look, we’re talking! And you’re pressed all over me!”

I pinch his stomach and he laughs. “I wanna sleep! Can we sleep?”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s sleep.”

*** 

The morning brings me some clarity. I woke up wrapped around him and I’ve never felt better in my life. I know we didn’t start off with the right foot, but I’m tired of the side of me that always needs to have everything under control. I want to live and until two days ago I wasn’t really living… I was surviving.  
I look up at his face, hidden under the hood of his sweatshirt. He seems relaxed… not sporting his usual frown while sleeping. I take advantage of this time of quietness to study his features. His nose is slim and straight, he has thick, dark eyelashes and his mouth is perfect. His hair is dark and wavy, and I find myself suppressing the instinct to push my finges through his locks. Literally. I blush, hiding my face into his chest. I understand he can’t know what I'm thinking but somehow the fact that he’s here while I'm having these thoughts, embarrasses me. Thoughts that I've never had until now. He’s handsome and life runs past us in a heartbeat. I don’t want to lose any more time and I’m tired of being the good girl my mother wanted me to be.

What I’ve left to destroy is the self-consciousness I feel around people in general and him in particular. I’ve never thought of myself as a pretty girl… My mother never told me I was beautiful. She always found a way to put me down… She believed I was too fat for guys to realize I existed. I don’t know what I did to make her hate me that much… Why didn’t she love me?

I’m startled by the tears falling from my eyes. I’ve never cried about that part of my life, about the way my mother treated me. She believed I wasn’t enough, and I never complained about it. I believed her somehow… What I need to understand is that I am enough. It’s just hard… and keeping to myself has been my safe heaven since I was a little girl. That, and digging my nails into my palms.  
I open my hand, assessing the damage I’ve made in these last couple of days. It could be worse, but it’d be better if I knew how to stop.  
I clench my fist for a moment… pressing the nails into the tender flesh. What can I do to stop? 

Jughead catches me off guard when he takes one of my hands into his and pries my fingers open. I look up at him, tears still falling down my face and a runny nose.  
He runs a thumb over the scars, lightly, studying them, and then he closes my hand keeping a finger between my fingers and my palm. His other hand holds my head to his chest and his body turns completely toward mine.

“You don’t need to do that.” He murmurs into my ear, making me shiver.

“I c-can’t control it.” I almost sob. “It was my way of coping with everything my mother put me through…”

He makes me look at him. His eyes are dark. “You don’t need to do that anymore. She’s dead. She doesn’t have any control over you.”

“She’s in my head, Jughead.”

“She’s dead. You need to be your own person…”

I close my eyes. “I’m working on it.”

“I’m gonna help you… You’re stuck with me now.” He whispers kindly.

“I hope I can be saved… I’m damaged goods.”

“You’re nineteen! You’re not damaged goods!” He grips my hand in his. “You’re alive… You can do anything you want. We live in a lawless world. Not even God’s laws count anymore. Do you believe me?”

I look up at him and nod.

“Good. If you let me… with time, I’ll show you safer ways of coping. You just need to trust me.”

“Why are you helping me? Why do you care if I hurt myself” I sniff.

“Because after barely two days of knowing you I can already tell you’re the strongest girl I’ve ever met. You need to get better, mentally, if you want to live in this world.”

“I’ve survived this long…”

“Yeah but... let’s live. What do you say?”

I smile and nod.  
  
“It’s settled then. Anytime you feel like hurting yourself come to me. I’ll help you feel better.” He brushes my wet cheek with a hand. “I’m glad I’ve met you.”

I snort. “You hated me yesterday!”

He smiles. “That’s my coping mechanism when something doesn’t go as I planned. I usually need time to get used to other people too and Kevin took away my decisional power about who could enter the group and couldn’t… I felt violated, somehow.”

“Okay, I understand. I’m sorry if I was such a bitch to you…”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t give you the opportunity not to be. What do you say… Can we start anew?”

I laugh. “We can.”

“Okay! Let’s go look for the group then!” He stands up and helps me too.

“What if we can’t find them?”

“It’ll be just the two of us then!” He exclaims getting out of our hiding spot. “But I’m sure we will meet them again at some point. They’re not dead. Okay?”

I nod and move past him. “Let’s go. I’m cold and hungry… that store is waiting for us!”

He laughs loudly. “You’re going in the wrong direction!”

I stop and turn back to him. “Right. Lead the way."

“Come on, we need to reach the store before it starts raining. We don’t need to get wet with this weather. A cold could be a problem for us.”

I hadn’t even realized the blue sky got hidden behind gray, heavy clouds and he’s right. We need to find a warm place to get covered until the storm has passed. The store is the most logical place to hide. There could be food, hopefully water, and maybe some medicines. It could be our safe haven for a while.


	6. Overcoming Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty and Jughead find shelter inside an old store and something starts to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As anticipated in the tags, this isn't a slow burn kind of story. Betty and the others realize that in the world they now live in death is always lurking around the corner and they sure as hell don’t want to wait for it to come and get them.

After hours spent shouting names to the wind, we still have found no one and I can’t help but get pessimistic. How is it possible for them not to hear us? Maybe they all really fell down that chasm.

“Jug, are you sure we weren’t that far from camp?”

“I don’t think we were. You distracted me… ”

“I distracted you. Really?”

He smirks. “I hadn’t seen a girl like you in a while. Forgive me if I’m weak!”

I blush deeply. “I hate when you say these things!”

He laughs. “Why?”

“I don’t know how to receive and accept compliments…”

“Well, you’ll get used to it.”

I roll my eyes and change the subject. “What are we gonna do now?”

He looks up at the sky, it’s getting darker by the minute. “Let’s get to the store. It’s not that far away from here. It used to be a Shopping Center so it’s pretty big. We’ll have to be quick and silent, find what we need and bunk down somewhere safe. Other people could be there… keep your gun cocked and watch my back. I’ll watch yours. Alright?”

“I've already been in one of those places a while ago… I know how to be inconspicuous. Don’t worry.”

“Happy to hear that… I knew you were going to be useful at some point.” He jokes

I snort. “I’m the one with the gun, do I have to remind you of that?”

He shakes his head. “Nope. Let’s move. We’re losing daylight!”

*** 

Luck sure as hell doesn’t like us. After more or less thirty minutes it starts raining. And I’m not talking about a drizzle but more about a downpour. We’re soaked to the bones in no time. I’m shivering and all I can think about is that I could get sick and wouldn’t have the medicines to heal. Mud covers our shoes, and everything is blurred out by the rain. We can’t even run because we'd risk to fall down a hole.

“We’re almost there! Come on… the way is clear!” He takes my hand and together we start moving faster.

“Are y-you sure it’s safe?” I shout over the rain. "I have to g-get the gun!"

“Don't worry about the gun! No one's going to be outside with this weather! Look, it's right there!”

“I c-can’t see a damn thing through this f-fucking downpour!”

But then our feet are not splattering in the mud anymore. Concrete takes its place and I sigh in relief. Jughead guides me through the side of the store and a moment later we’re inside. It’s not like entering a home. It’s still cold and the place is completely upside down…

“Let’s look for something to get changed. You’re going to get sick.”

My teeth are chattering so hard that I’m scared they’re going to crack at some point. I can’t even speak.  
He pushes me toward a store trying to be careful of our surrounding but it seems as if no one has been in here in a very long time.  
We enter a shop that must have been a hunting store once. There are almost to none weapons, at least the big ones. Scattered on the ground I can see switchblades and arrows but that’s not what we’re looking for.

“Let’s go in the back, there might be something useful.”

I keep following him around, cold as fuck. My fingernails have gone blue and I’m sure my lips aren’t all that nice to look at.

“There. Storage room… let’s see what we can find.”

“I-I d-don’t think t-there’s going t-to be anything…” I stutter.

He looks at me and his eyes goes wide. “Your lips are purple! We have to get you out of those wet clothes… I’ll see what I can find in there.”

He doesn’t give me the time to reply, he just goes to the door but finds it closed.

“C-could b-be a g-good sign?”

He nods. “Thankfully I have a sledgehammer in my backpack.”

In no time the handle is broken, and the door is open. Inside there are boxes full of new materials… things never opened. We tear through as many as we can, finding a treasure. Camping stoves, hunting clothes and weapons… rifles, guns, bows… all stored into woodened boxes.  
I almost cry when I see the bomber jackets and the heavy clothes. We both shed our wet ones and put on as many layers as we can. The soft socks are heavenly for my cold feet. I leave the shoes aside, I don’t think I’ll be able to wear them again… they’re ruined.

“There are some boots in these boxes.” Jughead’s voice comes from the other side of the room.

“T-thank g-god.” I mutter.

“We’ll stay here tonight. We’ll push a shelf against the door to keep it blocked… We have everything we need… even boxed water and energy bars. Look. There’s a box full of them.”

*** 

We’re huddled together in the far corner of the room, between two shelves and surrounded by plaid covers and energy bars. My feet are still freezing and my hands won’t get warm even though I’ wearing gloves.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better but still not warm enough…”

He munches on his food for a moment then he stands up and starts removing his upper layers.

My mouth goes dry. _That's hot_. “What are y-you doing?”

“It’s the quickest way for you to warm up. Undress, I won’t look. I promise.” He closes his eyes and turns away. I know he’s right. Body heat is the answer to my problem right now. Camping stoves aren’t ideal to be turned on in a non-ventilated space… we’d remain without oxygen in a matter of hours and opening the little windows would only bring water and cold air inside.  
I remove everything I have beside the trousers. I’m embarrassed and shy. No one has ever seen me like this but I’m freezing and my survival instinct has taken over.

I cover my breasts with my arms. “I’m d-done.”

He opens his eyes and looks at me, straight in the face. “Lay down and get under the covers.”

I immediately do as he says, feeling a lot better once my body is hidden. He crawls beside me and hugs me to his chest. The warmth emanating from his body makes me tremble uncontrollably.

*** 

We stay like that for a long time, not really talking. The silence isn’t disturbing and for the very first time in my whole life I feel at peace.

I smile into his chest. “Thank you.”

“It’s okay… I wouldn’t have let you die of hypothermia.” He strokes my hair lightly.

I look up at him then, my heart beating fast against my ribcage. He looks soft and handsome as usual and my head _and body_ are screaming for me to grow up.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks, probably sensing my eyes on him.

I shrug and bite my lip. “Things…”

“What kind of things?”

“The kind of things I’ve never done…” I murmur in a barely there whisper.

His eyes snap on me, dark and inscrutable and for a moment I’m scared I’ve said something I shouldn’t have. But then he rolls over me and cages my head in between his arms, gripping my hair with just the right amount of strength.

“Can you help me?” My body tingles in places I didn’t even know they could tingle.

“What do you want me to do?” His voice trembles slightly.

“I want you to make me feel everything I’ve never felt.” I don’t know where this confidence came from, but I’m glad it came out right in this moment.

His thumb brushes against my cheek and my eyes close. Goosebumps erupt all over my skin and I bring his body closer to mine. My naked breasts pressed against his chest make me feel some of those things but it’s not enough.  
When I reopen my eyes his have completely lost the light blue usually circling the iris. At that point I know he has made up his mind too and that our night is only just starting.


	7. Overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty knows she must find a way to break the bond she still has with her dead mother and Jughead helps her somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT. Read at your own discretion. If you're not comfortable jump right after the asterisks. This is my first time writing a sex scene... I hope I was able to make it tasty. It won't be explicit.  
> The chapter won't be very long compared to the previous (and maybe next) one.  
> ALSO, Betty's naiveness will be explained in the next chapter... Right now she doesn't know anything about sex or how it's done or everything that gravitates around it.

The moment his lips meet mine my eyes close and the air around us increasingly starts to get warm. I don’t know what I’m doing but for now, kissing seems pretty easy. The intensity of what I’m feeling for this almost stranger is confusing and exactly what I need to cut the last chord linking me to my mother. I need this for myself, because it’s what I want.  
  
He bites my bottom lip, while his right hand descends my body and stops over my breast. A small moan escapes my mouth when he pinches a nipple and he takes advantage of that moment to push his tongue against mine. I’m scared he’s going to be disappointed… but I try really hard to stop listening to my mind and let my body lead. I kiss him back, squirming underneath him and feeling a warmth start to spread between my legs. He moves his mouth to my neck, sucking on the skin and mumbling unintelligible things. My ears ring and all I can focus on is his hand on my breasts, his tongue on my collarbone and the hardness pushing against my hip.

“Jug…” I call out and grip his hair.

He looks at me. “I want you.”

A shiver makes me arch my back against him and when his mouth latches on my nipple I almost jerk away. Staring at his face, I'm startled to see his eyes on me, deep and hungry. I bite my bottom lip trying to keep quiet but every sensation is new and exceptional. At this point I start to understand what he meant when he said I didn’t know what I’ve missed.  
He senses my restlessness when I can't keep my legs still, squirming underneath him. He stops his ministrations long enough to let me reposition and then his hand goes straight to the button of my trousers. I can't help but tremble.

“Don’t be nervous. You are perfect. In every aspect of your being.” He whispers gently.

“I just… I don’t know what to do.”

He kneels by my ankles and shuffles the trousers down my legs, throwing them away from us. “You just have to enjoy the ride. You’ll know what to do in no time at all, you’ll see.”

He kisses my thigh then, from the knee up to the hem of my very unattractive panties. His fingers hook on its sides and I can barely think about the fact that it’s been a long time since I even thought about shaving, when he puts his mouth _down there_. I didn’t even know that was a thing people do to each other but _oh my god it feels so fucking good!_

“J-Jug!” A moan uncontrollably leaves my mouth and I can’t help but grip his hair tightly in my fists.

He keeps me down with his hands, holding my legs spread apart and I’m not even a little bit ashamed. When he sucks right at the top of my sex and delicately inserts a finger inside of me I snap my eyes open and push myself up over my elbows to look at him.  
It’s overwhelming. My mother scared me to death for something this good? She must have been out of her fucking mind!

His finger is joined by another and the stretch burns a little bit but his mouth on me makes me feel sinful things. In a matter of minutes something coils in the pit of my stomach: I fall back on our makeshift bed, scratching at his head, trying to close my legs and hold him there at the same time. When _that something_ snaps, my body arches into the air and a blinding pleasure almost hits me out of nowhere. Loud moans escape my bitten lips and I can’t control the trembling anymore.

When I open my eyes Jughead is hovering over me with soft eyes and a smirk. “How are you feeling?”

“I can’t even explain… I feel so good!” Shivers still run all over my body, every part of it is so sensitive that I don’t know what to do with myself.

“I’m going to make you feel even better.” He murmurs kissing me passionately. I reciprocate, squeezing my thighs around his waist and grinding against him.

“I want you.” I say in between kisses. “I want you now.”

He smiles. “No one’s after us, we’re in this place all by ourselves and I’m in no rush. I want you to enjoy your first time.”

He brushes a lock of hair away from my forehead making me squirm under his gaze. He’s right after all, it is my first time.  
I stare at him as he stands and removes the rest of his clothes. I blush deeply but can’t keep my eyes off him…He’s beautiful and confident and I’m not really sure how he’s going to _fit_ down there.

He lies back over me covering us right away. “I don’t want you to get cold…”

“I’m all but cold right now!”

He laughs and lifts one of my legs up his side. The feeling of his naked body sliding against my skin is out of this world… His sex is hot over mine and when one of his hands disappears under the covers I close my eyes, waiting for the moment he’ll push inside of me.  
  
The sensation is overwhelming and I tense when I feel him nudge against my entrance.  
  
“Relax, breathe…” He urges me.  
  
I hold his hands tightly in mine and then he’s inside. For a moment all I feel is pain and my lips take the worst of it when the teeth bite into them. I squeeze my eyes closed, trying very hard to push oxygen in and out of my lungs instead of holding it in. He has his head buried under my chin, his breath touches my skin making it tingle all over and when he looks at me, the strain is very clear in his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

I nod, still biting my lip raw.

“Relax… it’ll get better.” He takes my hands and holds them over my head before he starts sliding back and forth.

He’s gentle in every movement he makes… Relaxing does actually work and after long minutes of pure discomfort something starts to change. The friction between us is wonderful and I feel so completely full that I can’t stand the thought of not having him inside of me. We kiss for as long as we can, one of his hands creeps down toward the place we’re joined and manipulates the same spot he sucked on earlier. Stars appear behind my eyelids and another moan escapes the confines of my mouth.

“How does it feel so good?” I sob clenching on his member.

He swears. “It will get even better with time.”

I can’t answer. The increasing thrusts and his touch send me right over the edge. The pleasure I feel is nothing compared to what I felt earlier. It’s ten times better, starting in my toes and ending in my brain… Or maybe it’s really all in my brain? And then he gets even harder before coming inside of me with a grunt. He collapses over my chest, his forehead against mine, his hands tangled in my hair. I’m still shocked by trembles and my legs are still tightly wrapped around his hips. I don’t know how to unlock them… I’ve lost any kind of control.

*** 

“I’m dead.” I gasp after a while. “I don’t know how to move anymore!”

He hugs me tightly to his body and laughs. “I’m not complaining!”

He’s still deep inside of me, but he’s softening. Slowly I unclench my legs, letting him slide on his side and take me with him. He pecks my lips two more times before looking at me.

“You were perfect.” He murmurs making me blush.

“I didn’t do anything…”

“You did enough… I can’t wait to show you this world of pleasure and sins.” He smirks.

“I can’t wait either.” I put my head against his chest and throw a leg over his body, cuddling into him. It’s becoming easier and easier being intimate with this man.

“Are you warm enough?”

I nod and smile. “Yes, now I am. Thank you Juggie.”

“Juggie… No one has ever called me that. Don’t let the others hear!” His hand brushes over my head. “Let’s sleep for a while. We have all the time in the world.”

I try to answer, I try to tell him that as a matter of fact the world seems to have a fast approaching expiration date. I really do. But his arms squeezing me to himself are the last thing I feel before I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	8. Stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning brings more questions but they're not as scary anymore. Jughead helps her find other ways of coping mechanism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually a bit longer than I imagined!

The morning after I’m in heaven. Jughead is still sleeping, wrapped around me with his head buried under my chin. My heart loses a beat thinking about the night spent with him. I felt pure pleasure for the first time in my life and I won’t ever regret it.

I wave my fingers through his hair, delicately, trying not to wake him.

After our first time I fell asleep right away but not even a couple of hours later he woke me up with kisses and we started all over again. The second time went much better; I was still sore but at least I knew what to expect and the tension of the first time was completely gone.

In the silence of the room I ear the rain. It’s still falling and by the sound of it I don’t believe the weather has any intention of changing anytime soon. A smile creeps over my lips at the thought of staying secluded in this place for a non-determined period of time.

“What are you smiling about?” Jug’s voice startles me from my thoughts.

I shrug and cuddle into him. “Nothing, I’m just… at peace.”

His hand cups the back of my neck and grips my hair so that he can look straight into my eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Well rested and _satisfied_ …” I bite my lip.

He brushes my cheek with his thumb. “I was referring to your physical health… Are you sore?”

I frown. “Why should I be sore?”

He stands stark naked and holds his hands out to me. I grab them instantly and he drags me onto my feet. I’m not wearing anything either but at this point any embarrassment I would have normally felt, has left my body.  
Jughead takes a couple of backward steps, obliging me to walk and only at that point I understand what he meant. I wince, squeezing my legs together.

“Okay, maybe I am a little bit sore. Is it normal?”

He nods and smiles. “It is, it was your first time after all and you used muscles you never imagined could be used. You’ll be fine in no time…”

“Can we lay back and eat something in the meantime?”

He smirks. “What are you planning Miss Betty?”

“Nothing.” I answer non-dismissively, sitting back on our makeshift bed. “I’m hungry though. Can we eat?”

He shakes his head and gathers a couple of energy bars from the box before joining me. “It seems like it’s still raining. I should go check the situation outside…”

“No!” My voice trembles. My hands too. “Don’t, please.”

He looks at me, startled. “I won’t leave you. Not now. I couldn’t…”

My eyes sting with unshed tears and I nod. “I don’t want you to leave me…”

He hugs me to his chest and kisses my forehead. “Believe me when I say I don’t want to leave you.”

“How is it possible?”

“What?”

“I was ready to almost kill you two days ago…”

“Mysteries of life! In all truth I found you attractive since the very first moment I saw you…”

“And I thought you were a jerk…” I smile looking up at him.

“Oh, thank you! Thank you very much!” He tackles me over the covers and starts tickling me. The laughs that escape my mouth are new, especially for my ears.

“Jug! Jug, please! I’m dying!”

He stops just because he’s laughing too. “Your eyes are shining…”

“I’m happy.” I say before a thought enters my mind, unwanted. He must see the change because he rolls over me and traps my head in between his arms, nuzzling my cheek with his nose.

“What is it?”

“My mother used to tell me that getting attached to people only brings pain and despair…. Maybe we’re moving too fast… I-I don’t know you that well…”

“Hey.” He stops my ramblings. “No. First of all, your mother was lying. If you don’t have people around who care and want to be with you, you will always miss something and consequently you’d be miserable. Second of all, I don’t believe not even for a moment that what we did was wrong in the world we live in… We risk our lives every second of every day… I don’t want us to waste time we don’t have.”

“I don’t want to die.” I murmur. “I want to live, I want to be with you. And it’s crazy! My mind can’t get over the fact that I’m getting so fucking attached to an almost stranger. I… I don’t know what to think.” I dig my nails into my palms, trying to distract myself from the emotional pain.

His hands interfere though, wrenching mine open and intertwining our fingers. “Stop doing that.”

“I can’t control it. I need the pain to distract myself when I get too overwhelmed with emotions I don’t understand…”

His eyes cloud over, and he kisses me roughly, biting my lips. “Did you enjoy our night together?”

I nod quickly. “I did!”

“Get your mother out of your head. I’ll help you, if you want me to.”

“How? Sex and pleasure won’t help me when I get lost inside my mind…”

“What if I told you there is a way for you to feel pleasure and some pain at the same time?”

I blink, confused. “I’d tell you that I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Okay!” He sits up and makes me do the same. “Let’s eat and then I’m going to explain something to you. But first, I want you to feel comfortable enough with me to ask any question that passes through your mind about what we did last night… I know you’re inexperienced and I want to help you understand. Can we do this?”

I smile and kiss his mouth. “Okay, let’s do this.”

*** 

Once we’re dressed we settle back into our makeshift bed with energy bars and the boxed water we found the other night.

“Do you think we should search the complex?” I ask with my mouth full.

“Yeah, maybe. We could look for medicines… I don’t have any with me. Toni had the medical kit.”

I shrug. “We’ll find something.”

“So.”

I look down. “So?”

“You have nothing to ask me?”

My cheeks burn. “Well, I don’t know where to start actually…”

He gently bumps his shoulder against mine. “What’s the first thing that comes to your mind?”

“There’s something I don’t know… When you kissed me _down there_ it felt so good… at the very top of _it_. Why?” I’m blushing fiercely.

“Didn’t you have a sexual education? They should explain this at school…” He frowns.

I shake my head. “My mother didn’t want me to take the class. At the start of the year she talked with the principal and the Sexual Education Teacher… She told them _I_ didn’t feel at ease enough to take that class.”

He stares at me, mouth agape and a frown permanently stuck between his eyebrows. “That’s… scandalous.”

“I know. The important girls at my school used to have fun of me for that…”

He scoffs. “Your mother is lucky she’s dead. I would have killed her myself.”

“If she were alive, I wouldn’t be here with you.”

He leans down and kisses my cheek. “She’s dead and you’re here.”

I nod and smile. “So, about that question?”

“Right. That’s one of the most erogenous places of the female body. Haven’t you ever touched yourself?”

“Not really…”

“It’s called clitoris. And as I said, you’ll find out that there are other places around your body that you’re going to love. We just have to find them!” He smiles.

“I feel so dumb!” I hide my face into my hands.

“It’s not your fault your mother made you grew up like that… We’ll work on it. Together. Okay?”

I nod. “Thank you, Jug.”

“Other questions?”

I bite my lip nervously. “I know I should have thought about this last night but… in the heat of the moment it slipped my mind and I don’t think I was present enough to realize what you did or didn’t do…”

“Take a deep breath. What are you asking?”

“Did we use protection? I’m sorry, I should have thought about it last night!”

“Betty, yeah. I know I shouldn’t have assumed anything with you but… I’m still a guy.” He says nervously.

I brush his cheek gently and smile. “I don’t mind you being a guy, Jug. I’m glad one of us thought about it at least. Not that I believe it could have been a problem anyway…”

He frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I haven’t had my period in almost two years… And I might be naïve, but I kind of know how conception works!”  
  
“Okay! We’re settled then! Next question!”

“Is it always going to feel that good?”

He kisses me. “Even better once you get used to the discomfort of having me inside of you.”

I laugh. “You’re planning on staying for long then?”

“At this point?” He says seriously. “I don’t think I have a reason to leave.”

My heart beats faster and I kiss him. This newfound intimacy is starting to become everyday a little bit easier with him… I don’t know how we got to be like this in the span of three days. It’s nuts, thinking about it, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

"Uhm, can I ask you a question though?"

"I'm all ears!"

"Where did you find condoms!?"

He laughs. "That's a story for another time, alright?"

"You have something to hide?" I joke. "A wife and child hidden somewhere?"

"Yeah you got me there!"

I push him slightly and he bursts in a loud laugh. "You're not funny, Jug!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Come on, keep going with the questions…" He squeezes my hand.

“You said there are other ways for me to cope when I feel the need to hurt myself. What were you talking about?”

He stares at me, his eyes dark and thoughtful. “You really wanna know?”

“Well, is it something I wouldn’t want to know?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Try me then…”

He heaves a breath and pushes me on the ground, immediately covering me with his body. “There are ways, intense ways, I could help you when you feel the need to sink your nails into the palm of your hands…”

I put my arms around his neck and play with the hair at the base of his head. “Which ways?”

“ _Sexual ways_. Kind of.”

I frown. “You mean having sex?”

“And some other things.”

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jug.”

“Have you ever heard of BDSM?”

“Jug, no! I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He puts his thumb over my bottom lip. “To make you understand I’ll try to explain it as simply as I can, alright?”

I nod.  
  
“BDSM is a variety of sexual activities… role-playing, dominance and submissions… restraints… and _other things_ that include sex, pleasure and pain all mixed together. I’ve never done the hard stuff, I don’t like to hurt women… it’s not my thing. But I’ve come to the realization that sometimes, during sex, a little pain can enhance the pleasure. Are you following me?”

“I- I’m not sure…”

“There’s nothing to be scared about. It’s actually pretty liberating in a way.”

“But… what kind of pain? What could possibly feel better than sex?”

“Well, there are _many things_ that could make it feel better for you.”

“But what does this has anything to do with me wanting to hurt myself?”

He kisses my nose, sweetly, and my eyes flutter closed for a moment. “When you feel that urge, come to me and I’ll show you. If I explain what I intend word for word you’re going to get scared and I don’t want you to believe I’m a maniac of some kind. Because I’m not. Believe me. Okay?”

“Says the wolf to the sheep.” I smile.

He laughs. “At least did you understand what I’ve told you?”

“About BDSM?”

He nods.  
  
“I did. I mean, do you want me to submit to you?”

“Only when you need to.”

"This sounds kinda crazy…"

"I know… You just have to trust me."

I look at his eyes, they’re open and clear. “Okay Jug. I’ll probably sound crazy, but I trust you. I don’ know why… There’s this voice inside my head that tells me we’ve met for a reason and I don’t know how to turn it off. I believe I’m going nuts, exactly like my mother.”

“You’re not. Maybe we’re evolving…”

“What are you talking about?” I laugh out loud.  
  
“I mean, maybe our DNA is evolving… Maybe we were destined to meet each other.”

“Is the fearless, broody leader a softy after all?”

He tickles my sides making me erupt in a fit of giggles. “Take it back!”

I’m laughing so hard that I’m almost crying. “Please, please! Okay! I’ll take it back!”

He stops and stares down at me. “I’m waiting.”

“You are not a softy!” I say through the laughs.

“You don’t seem very convinced…”

“No! I swear! You are not!”

He smiles at me, why does he seems so attached to me too?

“What do you say if we go take a look around the place?”

I nod. “Okay… I hope no one will find this place while we’re gone…”

He stands and helps me up. “No one is here, don’t worry Betts.”

My heart loses a beat when he calls me that. I never had a real nickname. My mother and sister called me Elizabeth… Betty is how I like to go by to forget the way she said my name. With disdain and… _hate_.

Maybe I’ll be able to forget everything she did to me at some point, if I’m able to survive this _purge_ … Maybe Jug is right. Mother Nature has had enough of the way the human race treated her and now she gets to decide who lives and dies… I hope we’ll be among the ones who get to stay alive.  



	9. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being stuck in a giant, empty Shopping Center isn't all that bad after all. They take their time searching every store to gather as many useful things as they can. Betty has some fun for the first time even but her head won't give her much respite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The extent of Alice's mental abuse on Betty won't be gone just because she has a person to confide in.  
> In this chapter you will see how breakable Betty's mind has become because of her own mother.

The store is actually empty, and part of the roof has collapsed. Rain is falling and wetting the floor, making it slippery.

“Were do we go?” I ask shouldering my backpack.

“We need to find the drugstore and take as many medicines as we can.”

"If there's any left."

*** 

We trek around for a while, not speaking, just basking in the noise of the falling rain and keeping our ears open. At some point we find an old toy store and a smile finds my lips…

“Jug?” I call him when he doesn’t see me stop in front of it.

He turns with his eyebrows raised. “What is it?”

“Can we go inside?”

“You want to get in that place?”

I nod quickly and take his hand in mine. “Please! I never went into one of these!”

He snorts following me as I drag him toward the entrance. “We have something in common!”

“It’ll be the first time for both of us then!”

He laughs but doesn’t complain when I push him inside. The toys are all in their place, almost. Many are on the floor but it doesn’t seem like anyone came in here with the purpose of taking anything. After all, who needs a teddy bear or a doll during the end of the world?  
I take a stuffed bunny… it’s soft and I’m so tempted to bring it with me. There are so many toys… it’s sad, thinking about all the babies that won’t ever be able to play with them, or those who didn’t really make it.  
I put it back in its place, sighing heavily and then I keep looking around.

“Do you think we’ll ever find a place to stay? A safe place where to live?”

“I don’t know Betty, the world is so messed up right now…”

“I wish there was a safe heaven, somewhere.”

He takes my hand and hugs me to himself. “Where does this come from?”

I shrug, looking down. “I don’t know. It’s just that… I won’t ever have the life I dreamed about. I wanted to have that life once away from my mother. When the house went down that chasm, I felt _happy_ Jug. I was relieved. But now what kind of future do I have? Always running, always fighting, always waiting for the next earthquake. It’s tiring… don’t you think?”

“I understand what you’re feeling but you won’t have to run forever. You just haven’t found the right place yet.”

I nod, trying to move away from him. I know I’m acting stupid but am I delusional in thinking that I hoped he would have included himself into the picture? I’m acting like a teenager… I should be more realistic. We barely know each other and in the long term I’ll be better off alone.  
I find myself having these thoughts without even realizing it. After years and years of nothing but love deprivation and loneliness my head can’t instantly focus on how things really are.

“My mind is getting the better of me once again.” I murmur. “I need to distract. Can we play with something?”

He looks at me both amused and concerned. “What do you wanna play with?”

I look around the store, the largest part of the toys consists of stuffed animals or dolls but, in a corner, there are skateboards and roller-skates. I smile and look at him. “This place is huge. Do you think we can put the rollers on and have some fun?”

His eyes go wide. “You want to skate?”

“Yes! It’s going to be fun!”

“Um… I never learned how to do that actually.”

“Neither did I! Come on Jug… We’re stuck in this place… We can enjoy ourselves for a while!”

“I’d enjoy myself better without a broken leg!” He exclaims.

I laugh out loud. “Didn’t know you were a drama queen!” I take his hand, dragging him toward the roller-skates.  
  
“I’m so not a drama queen.” He grumbles. “I’m just being realistic. It could be dangerous…”

“We’ll try. If we see that it’s not doable then we’ll go with something less risky. Alright?”

He smiles at my excitement and nods. “Alright, alright. Let’s skate!”

*** 

In the end skating isn’t very difficult to learn. Yeah… you need to have some balance and use your knees and it’s not something that everyone is born into, but I’m having fun.

I keep my hand on the wall and carefully turn around. Jughead is attached with both hands to a railing and profanities are leaving is mouth one after the other. I laugh loudly, catching his attention.

“Oh, you’re having fun down there?” He growls.

I skate back and stop right in front of him, smiling. “I am, actually. This is the most fun I’ve ever had.”

The frown leaves his face and he smiles. “I’m glad you’re having fun. I really am…”

“Why do I sense a but?”

He heaves a sigh. “But please, please, _please_ can I take these things off?”

I burst into a fit of giggle. “Oh my God you should see your face!”

“You aren’t funny!” He mutters.

“You can take them off, it’s time for us to look for those medicines anyway. There’s a map of the Center affixed to that wall.”

I hear him thank the gods before sitting on the ground and retrieving the boots from the backpack. I do the same as I wait for his response.

“The map will be useful. We need to get back to the storage in a little while… it could be dangerous for us to stay in the open for this long.”

I nod. “Okay, can we take the roller-skates back with us though?”

He stands up and shakes his feet, trying to regain sensibility. “I hate to disappoint you but they’re heavy… Don’t you think it's a weight we could avoid once we’re back on the road?”

“Yeah, you’re right… I’ll take something lighter with me from the toy store then.”

“A stuffed animal?”

“Exactly!”

He laughs moving toward the map. “Choose wisely then!”

I follow him. “I intend to! Aren’t you going to take a memorabilia too?”

He snorts and coughs. “Nope. I’ll lend yours.”

I roll my eyes and push him slightly. “Look at the map, mister-gang-leader-with-a-soft-side!”

“It’s right at the end of this wing. Come on, you dork… keep up."

*** 

The drugstore is a mess. There’s not much left for us to take but luckily there were still a couple of boxes of painkillers, antihistamine tablets, some medical adhesive tape, bandages and a small bottle of antiseptic. The essential.

“There’s not much.” Jug says from the other side of the shelf I was inspecting.

“I'm not a surprise… It’s the first place people loot after all.”

He sighs and doesn’t say anything else. He seems pensive and lost in his thoughts. I’m not sure if he wants me to interfere or not but we’re just us two… He helped me so much these last couple of days even if I didn’t ask.

“Is everything okay?” I ask quietly, not looking at him directly.

“I’m thinking about the others… I hope they found a place to get covered.”

Bob comes into my mind. My sweet, protective dog. “We’ll find them. As soon as the rain lets down a little we’ll go looking for them.”

“The world is catching up on us…” He mutters.

“Yep.” My mood has exponentially gone downhill.

“Let’s go take a look outside then we’ll go back to the storage.”

*** 

The road is flooded. The rain falls in sheets and it doesn’t seem like the sun has any intention of coming out anytime soon. I’m obviously very worried for the group right now… Jug is restless. I can see his concern by the way he walks all over the place.

“They’re okay…” I murmur taking his hand.

He snorts, wrenching himself away from me. It stings. It shouldn’t but it does. I take a step back from him, leaving him alone with his thoughts. I know I shouldn’t feel bad, I know he’s beating himself up for leaving the group that day… Maybe it’s my fault. If I hadn’t gone with Kevin they’d still be together.

“I’m going back to the storage.” I whisper turning my back on him and leaving.

“Wait…” He calls out, but all I want right now is to get as far away from him as possible. So I keep going and leave him there.

I know I’m not behaving normally, I know he’s worried and I know he probably didn’t mean to push me away but, in the end, I really don’t know this guy. What if he got what he wanted from me? Why was he even _prepared_?

I get inside the storage and take one of the plaids before sitting against a shelf and covering myself. My mind is getting the best of me, I know it, but right now all I can think about is that I trusted a stranger and I shouldn’t have.  
The sting in my hands shakes me up. I look at them and for the first time in a long while I actually broke the skin. There’s blood under my nails and moon shaped scars over my palm. I’m boiling, as if the storm outside has taken residence inside of me and that’s why I sink my nails right back where the skin is raw and tender… Staring at the blood seeping through.

“What are you doing?”

I jump on the spot and close my fist. “Nothing.”

He kneels right before me and tries to take my hands, but I recoil from his touch. Right now I don’t even want him to brush me with a finger.

“What?” He asks.

“I’m tired. I wanna sleep.”

He huffs. “Betty…”

“Can you leave me alone!?” I snap looking up at him.

“No. I’m sorry for earlier, okay? I didn’t mean to… react like that.”

“This is so messed up! How did I fall for you so quickly!? Why?”

“Betty!” He snaps. “What has gotten into your head?”

“Nothing has gotten inside my head! It’s just… this was a mistake. I shouldn’t have gone with Kevin. You’d be with them and I’d be with my dog.”

“We’re back on square one! Stop it! Do we really wanna spend all the time fighting again? Betty… Please, I… I like being with you. Please. Get out of your head.” He pleads me.

My eyes water and I nod. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Let me see…”

A thunder shakes all the place and we both get freaked out. My hands fly right over my ears and that’s when he sees the blood. I’m ashamed of myself right now.

He takes them in his, they’re bloody and the scars are horrible to look at. He takes the med kit from his backpack, cleans and bandages them and then he sighs heavily, staring at me. “Why?”

“I- I don’t know…”

“What am I gonna do with you?”

“Be patient? Please?”

He nods and hugs me. Thunders are still shaking the entire place, but nothing is more shaken than myself right now. Every time I take a step forward my fucking mind pushes me right back at the start.  



	10. Emotional Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT. Read at you own discretion. If you're not comfortable you can pick up right after the asterisks.  
> Jug shows Betty new ways of coping. Will she find them useful or not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing very Explicit. I tend not to go into many details but obviously in a scene like the one in this chapter you'll see it's not easy to not go into them.

I wake startled by the thunders. Jughead is sleeping behind me and the light is almost completely gone. I push myself up over my hands and wince, remembering what happened that morning. I turn toward him, he has a frown between his eyebrows. He’s not having a restful sleep.

I put my hand against his cheek, trying to comfort him and me at the same time. The bandage is still in its place and I feel so ashamed of what I did… I actually did it on purpose, the second time around, and what scares me the most is that it felt _good_. Startled by my own thoughts I sit and put my hands in my hair, gripping the locks tightly into my fists.

“Hey…” Jughead calls me.

I look at him, not knowing what to say to this man who has done nothing but help me these last couple of days. “I’m messed up.”

He takes me down with him. “You are. But it’s not your fault and you can get better.”

“How?”

“With time. And I’m going to help you… Also, I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. You just wanted to comfort me, and I snapped… There's something you should know. When I feel like I don't have control over things… I tend to isolate and snap at everyone. I promise, I’ll do my best to keep my temper in check. Okay?”

I nod, emotional. I bite my lip to try and hold back the tears. “I promise I’ll get better too.”

“We’ll work on it. I just need you to talk to me… don’t run away. I can’t help you if you won’t let me in.”

I bury my face in his chest and squeeze him to myself. “When you wrenched your hand away from mine, I lost control over my thoughts. I came back here and started to think… Deep down I knew you were worried about your friends but in that moment all I could think about was that I believed you just wanted to have sex with me… I believed that. I hurt myself unconsciously but then I did it again and what shames me the most is knowing that _it felt good_ and that at some point I’m going to do it again… I won’t ever get better. I won’t.”

He doesn’t say anything for a while. He just holds me and brushes my hair back. Maybe I’ve finally scared him off.

“I’m sorry if I made you spiral out of control.”

I push myself up and look at him earnestly. “Jug, it’s not your fault. Please. Understand this. My mother fucked me up and at every step forward I take, her memory brings me back at point one. Every single time.”

He rolls over me then. “You want my help?”

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

He smiles. “You won’t be.”

I stare at him, somehow knowing he’s telling the truth. “Okay. Help me.”

He nods and kisses my lips. “Get undressed then. Now.”

I scramble to my feet, turned on and a little scared by his deep voice. He stays seated, leaning back over his hands and staring at me. My hands are shaking so hard that it takes me a moment to find the zipper on my trousers.

When every piece of clothes is on the ground he stands up and takes my hands. “Kneel.”

I do as he says, unsure of this thing but somehow excited to be trying something new. The bandages clash against the skin of my legs.

“Look at me, Betty.” I lift my eyes. “We’ll do this right. If you’re not comfortable, if you feel like this is too much… tell me right away. I need you to communicate with me. Alright?”

“Alright, Juggie.”

“Promise?”

“I do.”

He nods. “Okay.”

He strips of his upper layers and once again I can’t help but notice how hot he is. His muscles are defined, and he has a tattoo I hadn’t noticed before. I’ll have to ask about it at some point.  
He takes a step toward me and brushes my head, slightly gripping my hair in his hand so that I’m looking up at him. A tingle runs down my spine and I squeeze my legs together.

“Put your hands behind your back. Clasp them together, don’t fist them.”

I follow his order and then he kisses me, roughly, biting my bottom lip and pushing his tongue against mine. The kiss is dirty, dirtier than the ones we exchanged these last couple of days and something in me snaps. I moan into his mouth and he smirks.

“Turn around and lie down on you belly. Hands behind your back.”

The position isn’t very comfortable, but he helps when he sees me struggle. He then sits on my thighs and starts kissing my back from the neck down to my bottom. One of his hands is on my wrists, keeping my arms still while the other is firm on my hip. I have zero chance of movement and somehow being restrained turns me on.

I feel his mouth on my buttock then. I was so lost in the sensations he made me feel that I lost track of which parts of my body he was kissing. The bite startles me but I can’t help but moan and squirm underneath him.

I hear his heavy breathing and then I feel him sit more comfortably on my thighs. There’s a moment of stillness, where I hold my breath and he doesn’t move a finger. Then I hear the slap before feeling the tingle starting to spread over my left butt-cheek. For a moment I’m shocked, unable to fully understand what actually happened but when he does it again, always on the same spot, my back arks on its own volition and I bite my bottom lip to keep the moan from escaping the confines of my mouth.

“That’s what I was talking about.” He mutters with a raspy voice. “Is this okay?”

I nod quickly into the covers, unable to speak.

“Do you want more?”

The embarrassment I’m feeling is nothing compared to the heat spreading from my core, burning like fire and almost consuming me. “Yes.” I whisper.

“I need to hear you say it, Betty.” He almost growls leaning down over my ear and licking my cheek. “Say it.”

He’s hard against my thigh. “Please, do it Juggie.”

He stands, and the separation from his body makes me shiver. The rest of his clothes fall on the ground, I hear him rip something and then he’s back beside me. “Get on your hands and knees.”

I do as he says, trembling. He enters me without much warning and slaps his hand against my butt a second later... two, three times in a row, taking my breath away. I squeeze my eyes shut and keep biting my lip.  
  
I’m overwhelmed, everything he’s making me feel is cathartic. The sting of his palm against my skin, the way he moves inside of me, the way he holds my hip… A moan leaves my mouth and right when I believe I’m going mad, he sends me right over the edge. I fall on my belly and he follows, trying very hard not to put too much weight on me. I’m sure he hasn’t come yet.

“Are you okay?” He gasps into the back of my neck.

“Yes. I need more.” I hear myself whimper.

He lifts himself, turning me around and resettling instantly over my body. His forearms find place beside my head and he kisses me, slowly and passionately. He pushes inside my heat a moment later. I won’t ever want to get tired of this… _I don’t want to_. I want to be able to experience this kind of passion whenever I need to, with him.

I gasp into his mouth, throwing my arms around his neck and squeezing his body to myself. “Jug…”

He picks up the pace, gripping one of my thighs and pushing my leg higher. He touches something inside of me that makes me see stars and I feel as if I’m going to combust. His face is buried into the crook of my neck, I can feel his breath on me… it’s arousing in a way I could have never imagined. And then he sinks his teeth into my shoulder and a blinding pleasure overcomes me. I blank out, completely. All I can feel is pleasure and the way he trembles over me.

*** 

I open my eyes many minutes later, my breath still ragged and Jughead braced over me. He’s brushing the hair away from my face and murmuring something I can’t actually comprehend. The tears sure as hell startle me and the shivers running all over my body are confusing. I try to speak, I really do but my teeth are chattering together and I’m scared I’m going to bite my tongue off.

“Betty.” Jug’s voice enters my thoughts and I look at him. “It’s okay. It’s the emotional release… it’ll pass. Just look at me and breathe as I do.”

I nod and do as he says. It’s difficult, regaining control over my body, but after a while the trembling stops, and the tears cease to fall down my cheeks. I heave a shuddering sigh and hug him to myself.

“It’s okay Betts, it’s okay.”

“What happened?” My voice is still shaky.

“You spaced out… How do you feel?”

“Good. It’s like a weight has been raised off my shoulders…”

“It’s going to get better… Now do you understand what I meant?”

I smile and nod. “I do. It’s… it’s liberating. It is. I just hope to be able to come to you before hurting myself…”

“With time you won’t even need me anymore.”

I frown. “Why?”

“I mean… You’ll be able to live your days without needing the pain as a coping mechanism. I’m not leaving you.”

I close my eyes, smiling, and suddenly I find it so difficult to open them up again. It feels like I’ve walked thousands of miles all in one day. “Can I sleep now?”

He turns over his side, bringing me with him and holding me tightly to his chest. My legs trapped under his, the weight is almost comforting. “Sleep. You need to. I won’t go anywhere.”

The kiss he leaves over my head is the last thing I sense before collapsing.  



	11. Fiery Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty and Jughead are finally able to leave the Shopping Center and they meet someone on the way.

The following morning I wake with a growling stomach and someone chuckling into my ear. I frown, hiding my face under the plaid and trying to bask in the warmness of my sleepy state for a few more minutes.

“The sun is shining.” Jug murmurs, brushing his fingers over my arm.

I turn on my back and squint in the morning light, looking up at him. He’s staring at me, smiling, and my stomach flips a couple of times. “Were you watching me sleep?”

“Maybe. Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s not.”

He leans down, kissing my mouth and cheek before staring at the sunbeam filtering through the little windows. “It’s time to go… We need to find a way to get on the other side of that chasm and look for the others.”

I nod. “We should take as many things as we can. For them too. Food, water… some clothes... What about the weapons?”

“I’ll take the compound bow… it’s silent and could be useful for hunting. You want the rifle?”

“I’m not sure I know how to use it.”

“I don't think it's even convenient. We’ll stock up the bullets of your gun though. Come on, let’s get dressed, eat and then we’re leaving.” He stands and stretches. I can’t help but ogle him from head to toe.

“Have I ever told you how hot you are?”

He laughs. “No! Happy to know you find me attractive!”

I’m putting on my clothes when I notice a vague, irregular halo over my hip. I turn beet red thinking about the previous night and that maybe that’s a consequence of what we did. My butt smarts but nothing too bad… I can live with the sting.

“I’m so hungry!” I exclaim while I push a couple of plaids into my backpack. “You wore me out…”

He smirks and comes toward me. He’s putting his sweatshirt on. “Did I?”

I snort. “Yeah, absolutely. I’m not complaining though. I’m gonna miss this place.”

He puts his arms around me. “We will find other places… And who knows, maybe at some point we won’t need to run anymore. Maybe we’ll be able to stop and live our life… As corny as it sounds.”

My eyes glisten. “Maybe. I hope.”

He gives me a kiss before slapping my butt, gently but still making me jump. He laughs. “Put on your quilted jacked. I’ll pack some things than we can go.”

“Don’t forget the plaids!”

*** 

The sun is shining but the cold is almost unbearable. Luckily, we are well equipped for this kind of weather now… We even found some beanies to keep our ears from freezing.

We’re munching on a couple of energy bars, walking in silence side by side, not really paying too much attention to our surrounding. It’s cold, the birds are chirping, and the way seems deserted. The chasm is progressively reducing in width, maybe we’re reaching the end of it…

A girl screaming startles us. I look at Jughead and for a moment Veronica and the other girl, Toni, come to my mind. He lurches forward, running at full speed toward the direction of the voice with me right behind him.

“Where are you?” He shouts into the air.

There’s a moment of silence in which the girl stops and my heart sinks, thinking that maybe we were too late and something happened. But then we hear her ask for help once again and we keep moving.

“I’m down here! Help me please!”

The bright red backpack is the first thing I notice. “Jug! There!”

Hanging by a root there’s a girl with fiery red hair and mud covering part of her face. “We’re here! Hold on!” Jughead exclaims kneeling and taking her arm. He drags her up with all of his strength and a moment later she’s on her back, looking up at the sky and breathing harshly.

I sit beside her. “How are you? How did you fell down the chasm?”

She pushes herself up and takes a shuddering sigh. “The ground collapsed right under my feet. Thank god I was quick enough to grip that root! Thank you, you saved me.”

Jughead stands and comes by my side. “It’s okay, we couldn’t let you die. Are you alone?”

Her expression gets somber. “I- I lost my group… My brother, my nana. I waited out the storm into a shack not far from here.”

“I’m sorry to hear that…” I murmur.

She looks at me then at Jughead. “What about you two?”

“We’re looking for our group. We got separated by the earthquake…” I explain simply, not sure if we can trust her or not. She’s well dressed. I believe she came from money but I can’t judge a book by its cover, right?

“I’m Cheryl. I- Do you think I could stay with you guys for a while?”

Jug and I share a look, a sense of déjà vu comes over me and I’m not sure what to say. She might sense our hesitation because she takes a step toward us and raises her hands. “I’m harmless, I swear. I mean, I know how to defend myself but I’m not trying to trap you guys… I’m just looking for some company-”

“Okay.” Jughead interrupts her. “You can come with us. If I smell something fishy, you’re on your own. Got it?”

She smiles and hugs him. “Thank you! I swear I won’t betray your trust!”

Jughead freezes and I’m suddenly inundated by the need to push the girl right back into the chasm we just saved her from. I must be glaring a hole into her head because she takes a step back and turns toward me.

“Can I know your names?”

“I’m Jughead, this is Betty.” He takes my hand in his, sensing my discomfort from having to stay with another human being and stopping my fingers from trying to make even more damage to the skin of my scarred palm. “She’s my partner.” He adds.

A smile creeps over my mouth and I look at him. I know he’s concerned, I have a long way to go… but I can’t stay with him and only him. I have to get used to other people.

Cheryl holds her hand out to me and I shake it. Her eyes linger on the bandages but doesn’t say anything. “Nice to meet you, Betty. Jughead. You saved my life, I’m in debt.”

“No, it’s okay. Just, don’t screw us up.” Jug murmurs, still holding my hand in his. “We’re trying to find a way to get on the other side of this chasm. Do you maybe know a way?”

“There’s a fallen tree, a few miles up, that crosses over. I’m not sure how safe it is but maybe we could try!”

“A tree?” I ask in disbelief. Have I mentioned to anyone that I’m afraid of height?

She nods. “I don’t think there’s another way.”

I squeeze Jug’s hand and swallow. “O-Okay. We can go see.”

*** 

The tree is old, big and seems sturdy but my mind is already thinking about all the possible ways I could fall down the chasm and never come back.

“Uhm, are we sure it’s going to be safe?”

Jughead shrugs and takes a couple of steps over the trunk. “I don’t think it’s going anywhere. It’s stuck and I don’t see any other way.”

I’m actually sweating and my throat has become as dry as the Sahara desert.  
Cheryl comes up beside me, patting me on a shoulder and getting on my nerves. I bite my tongue before I snap at her. “It’s okay, it’s not that far. You can do it!”

Jughead steps down from the trunk and faces me. “What is it?”

“I… I might be afraid of heights.” I mutter looking down. My hands are already fisted and he takes them in his, opening my fingers and trying to catch my gaze.

“It’s going to be okay. I’ll be right before you, guiding your way. Alright?”

I nod quickly but I'm still scared to death.

“I’ll go first!” Cheryl volunteers kindly.

“Thank you, Cheryl… You’re very kind.” I murmur feeling bad for wanting to bite her head off when she hugged Jughead. I didn’t know I could feel jealousy until now.

“Don’t worry. It’s the least I can do!”

We watch has she starts walking carefully over the trunk, she doesn’t seem scared at all by the fact that underneath her there’s absolutely nothing.

“Betty.” Jughead catches my attention and I move my eyes on him. “Are you okay?”

I grimace and swallow once again. “I will be. Once I’m on the other side of this thing.”

He smiles and kisses me languidly. “These hands have to stay open. If you fist them… we might have a problem.” He murmurs with a smirk.

I shiver and huff. “Don’t start things we can’t finish. We have a travel buddy now.”

“Don’t you worry about that. Keep them open. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Remember what we did this past night…” He says nonchalantly.

“I might be tempted to fist them, then.” I answer as I move past him and look at Cheryl. She’s almost on the other side.

He laughs. “You’re going to be the death of me. Come on… hold my hand and let’s keep moving.”

Cheryl woops and shouts when she puts her feet on the ground, and it seems so out of character that I can’t help but smile.

*** 

I kissed the ground. I literally kneeled and kissed the ground. The crossing has been the scariest thing I’ve ever done… Fuck the earthquakes. Fuck that lunatic of a man!

I’m still sitting with my back against a tree; my legs are shaking too hard for me to keep moving.

“I’m never going back. Do whatever the hell you want, but I won’t ever cross that thing ever again!”

Cheryl laugh reaches my ears and I snap my head up, glaring at her. “Am I funny?”

She jumps on the spot. “No, sorry. I didn’t mean to seem insensitive.”

I heave a sigh and put my head between my legs, Jughead is rubbing my back slowly. “Just give me a moment please…”

“You did it, Betts. Be proud!” Jug whispers into my ear.

“I am but I can’t stop shaking!”

He laughs quietly. “It’s the adrenalin rush… Come on, stand up! You need to walk.”

I glare at him while he drags me on my feet. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t but if you want to pretend you do, I won’t complain. For now…”

Cheryl giggles. “You two are cute together.”

He snorts. “You should have seen us when we met… You wouldn’t have put the adjective _cute_ and _the two of us_ in the same sentence.”

I elbow him in the stomach. “Don’t make me regret being nice to you!”

“Well, I don’t know then but now you sure as hell are entertaining!”

“Thanks!” We both say.

She shakes her head and starts moving away from the damned chasm.

“Who are we looking for again?”

“His friends and my dog.”

“Got it! Chop-chop! Let’s move our asses!” She orders brightly.

Jughead frowns and I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing. “ _Chop-chop_ , Juggie!” I whisper.

He rolls his eyes and slap my butt, pushing me forward. “Move before I feel the urge to spank you again.”

I gasp and look at Cheryl. Thankfully she’s singing to herself and not paying any attention to us. “You’re mean, Jug. So, _so mean_.”  
  
“I just wish I could have had you all to myself for a little longer.” He says quietly.

“Too bad, we saved her!”

He bursts into a loud laugh, attracting Cheryl's attention. “You’re way too lovey-dovey for my own good! Come on! Keep up!”  
  
“We’re not lovey-dovey!” Jug grumbles and I laugh. This girl isn’t so bad after all. She’s actually bringing a breath of fresh air.

“We should keep her.” I add after a while. “She’s nice!”

He snorts. “She’s not a dog!”

“Well, we’re keeping her.” I stand my ground.

“Your responsibility then!”

“You know I can hear you guys, right?”

We burst into a laugh that scares a couple of birds perched on a branch. I’m happy… There’s nothing obscuring my thoughts, Jughead’s beside me, this strange girl is leading the way and I’m actually breathing. We just need to find the others now and look for a place to call our own. I’m tired of moving. I want to be optimistic. Yeah, maybe _Mother Nature_ will spare us all!  



	12. Echos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty, Jughead and Cheryl find some tracks. will they lead them to the group?

We walk around for a while. It’s amazing how the vegetation was able to take root in places where there once were houses and streets. Animals are running around old parking lots and hiding between alleys… There aren’t borders anymore and I don’t find this scary at all. It’s how it was supposed to be since the very beginning.

We’re in an old little town right now, having followed some tracks and hoping they'd led us to the group. For now we haven’t met a single soul.

“I wouldn’t want to be a herald of pessimism but… are we sure they’re still alive?” Cheryl asks at some point.

“I’m sure. They’re smart.” Jug grunts still looking down at the tracks. “Betts why don’t you try calling your dog?”

“Are you sure it’s safe? Someone could be around here…”

“Betty. Please.”

I roll my eyes and huff. “Okay, _boss_.”

At the first try we hear nothing beside birds and the distant gurgling of a stream. It doesn’t seem like there are people around at least. Cheryl spurs me to try again and that’s what I do.

“What if he’s forgotten about me?”

“Dogs don’t forget about their owners, Betty.” She reassures me.

“What if he believed I had abandoned him?”

“Betts…”Jughead sighs, “He hasn’t forgotten about you. You’ll see. He’ll be super excited when he sees you again.”

I smile. “ _Super excited_ , uh?”

He throws his arm around my shoulders and kisses my forehead. “Don’t worry.”

“See?” Cheryl exclaims, “I told you guys! _Lovey-dovey!_ At this rate I’m going to get caries!”

“Oh, shut up!” I laugh pushing her slightly.

We keep walking for a while, alternating between calling my dog's name and basking in the background noises made by wild animals and the wind. It's a beautiful day, the sun is shining high in the sky and even though there are mud puddles to avoid the street is nearly clean.

*** 

We're well past midday when we finally stop to eat something. I was starting to feel lightheaded.

"I saw some strange tracks earlier…" Jug says through a mouthful of food. "They looked like footprints… They're not far. I know it!"

I smile and lean my head against his shoulder. "I hope you're right."

Cheryl coughs. "What if the tracks we're following won't bring us to your group?"

"We'll think about it when the time comes." Jug groans.

"I'd prefer to know what to do _before_ being mauled by a group of crazy men!" She exclaims outraged.

"She's right, Jug."

He sighs. "I'll scout the place by myself… If I deem it safe, I'm coming back to you. Alright?"

I swallow. "I'm not comfortable with this idea of yours…"

"I'll be okay, don't worry."

*** 

In the end he doesn't need to scout the place because after a couple of attempts at calling my dog, a sudden bark puts us all on alert. We stop where we are, not moving a muscle. Then we hear it again, the sound echoes all around the old buildings so that we can’t really know which direction it comes from. On instinct I call my dog’s name one more time and then I see him, running toward us at full speed… tongue lolling around.

I move toward him quickly, but a couple of steps later he’s already on me, licking my face and wiggling his tail excitedly.

“Good doggie! I’ve missed you! I’ve missed you so much!” I laugh into his fur.

Jughead kneels beside us and pats him on the head, earning a well placed lick right on the nose… making us all laugh.

“Where are the others, Bob? Where are they? Can you guide us there?”

He seems to understand because he jumps off me and turns around, waiting to get followed. Cheryl remains on the side, smiling and clearly happy for us.

Jug helps me up and I take her hand. “Bob, come here! This is Cheryl, our friend. She’s super strange but we’re keeping her!”

She snorts and shakes her head. “I still can hear you! Nice to meet you, doggie! You’re very pretty!”

Bob noses her hand and makes a circle around her legs before sniffling her private parts. She jumps up in the air and Jug and I both laugh out loud.

“Bob!” I scold through my laughs. “Don’t do that!”

In the distance we hear voices shouting Bob’s name and I see Jug’s face lose all the worry that hadn’t left him alone since the very moment we got separated from the rest of the group. He runs then, toward the voices… followed by my dog.

“Come on Betty!” He exclaims turning toward me. “Come on!”

I look at Cheryl, smiling. “Let’s go, I’m sure they’re going to like you.”

“How could they not?” She questions shrugging the red mane of hair. “I’m fabulous and funny!”

We follow Jug at a slower pace, not wanting to intrude the reunion with his family. I’m so happy they’re alive… He was so worried. I could see it even when he smiled.

I scratch my hip, it’s bothering me since this morning. I thought it was a souvenir of our night but maybe a bug bit me or something. I’ll ask Jug to take a look, later.

The first person I see, wrapped around Jughead, is Toni. She’s clearly crying, and I do my very best to suppress the new-found jealousy. She sees me and runs toward me, taking me by surprise.

“I’m so glad you’re okay! Thank you for keeping him alive! I know it doesn’t seem like it but he’s our leader… We couldn’t want anybody else!”

“He kept me alive too…” I murmur, trying not to feel too overwhelmed by her hug.

“Whipped boy is your leader?” Cheryl's voice comes followed by a resounding laugh.

Toni turns toward her. “And you are?”

She wipes invisible tears from under her eyes and then she extends a hand toward Toni. “I’m Cheryl. You are?”

“Toni. Nice to meet you.” She smiles. They stare at each other for a long moment and I suddenly feel like I’m intruding.

I clear my throat and leave them alone, preferring to join the others.

Kevin is the next one to see me, he has a sling around his left arm. “What happened?” I ask as soon as he’s in front of me.

“Well, let’s say I’m glad Fangs was nearby when the ground opened up. He took me by the arm, dislocating my shoulder at the same time but I’m not complaining. He saved my life!”

“Beside your arm are you all okay?”

He nods quickly. “Luckily! But tell me, who’s the bombshell talking with our Toni?”

“She’s Cheryl, we saved her from falling into the chasm too. She’s nice.”

“And, how are you?” He asks. “How was it being alone with Jughead? I hope he behaved better than how he did the first time he met you.”

I feel my cheeks turn beet red and I look down. “He was good.”

“Just good?” I can clearly hear the disbelief in his voice. “What did he do?”

I sigh and look at him, trying to hide my embarrassment as best as I can. “He kept me safe Kevin, I’m not lying. We might have fought once but beside that… he was a gentleman. I promise.”

He squints his eyes, suspicious, but then he shrugs. “Let’s get to the others, we have set camp into an old house not far from here. When Bob run away from us we thought he heard a bird or something but imagine the surprise when we saw you!”

“I was calling his name… maybe he heard me.”

He smiles and hugs me as best as he can. “I’m glad you both are okay.”

“I am too.”

*** 

That evening we are all huddled around a fire. Cheryl is keeping the conversation flowing while we eat some of the energy bars Jug and I had taken with us. We shared the clothes and plaids and now they’re all well dressed and warm. Jughead is seated beside me, not really touching but still near enough. He’s lost in his thoughts but his expression is relaxed… I’d love to take his hand in mine but being in the company of his friends makes me feel insecure. What if he doesn’t want me to touch him now that we are with the others?

He’s the one to take my hand in his when he sees it close into a fist. I didn't even realize I'd done it. “Hands open, Betts.” He murmurs.

I shrug but do as he says, turning my gaze toward the group. They’re not paying attention to us; my dog is sleeping by my side. “I wanted to take your hand but… I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to or not.” I murmur quietly.

He slides even closer to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. I feel self-conscious for a moment, not used to these displays of affection among other people. “I want to be with you, I don’t want to hide. Alright?”

I blush, looking up at him. “Okay.”

“Are you really okay?” He asks seriously.

“I will be, I just need to get used to this like I got used to your presence. It’s easier than I thought… You’re changing me Jug.”

He kisses my forehead, thing that doesn’t go unnoticed anymore.

Cheryl makes a false gagging sound and I can clearly see her eyes rolling. “You guys… it’s been a long day with the two of them alone!”

They all turn toward us, and I freeze. I panic for a moment, even the dog lifts his head probably confused by the sudden silence. “What?” Jughead snaps in their direction.

Their mouths are all hanging open and then the chaos explodes. I hide my face into my hands and try to isolate myself from everything that’s happening around us.  
  
Jughead holds me close to his side and makes them all shut up. “Please, just… don’t overwhelm her. Please.”

My eyes glisten. He’s so good to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve this man into my life but I’m glad I’ve met him… I’m glad he wants me to be _his_.

“This is amazing!” Toni exclaims happily.

“They weren’t that shy around me!” Cheryl complains, making everyone laugh.

“That’s not true!” I blurt out quickly lifting my head. “We thought you weren’t watching!”

“Betty, Betty… I would have really loved to be blind in those moments!”

They all laugh once again, and I roll my eyes. “You’re exaggerating now! We didn’t do anything! We met you half a day ago!”

“Whatever!” She shrugs.

Jugheads snickers quietly. “Are you still convinced about the decision of keeping her?”

I look at the red headed girl, already lost in conversation with Toni and I smile. “I don’t think we’re going to have a say in the matter right now…”

He frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Are you blind?”

“What? No!”

I burst into a laugh and lean against him. “I believe Toni wouldn't be very happy if we make her leave.”

“Oh!” He exclaims looking up. “Oh! Damn! You’re right!”

“Is that a problem for you?”

“No, I’m happy for her.” He smiles. “Let’s hope Cheryl won’t break her heart.”

“I’m not an expert but I have a good feeling about them…”

He smiles and looks down at me, his hand on the back of my head making me meet his eyes. “And what does that feeling says about me?”

I smile. “So many things…” I murmur.

“Care to share?”

“I don’t think this is the right place to share my _feelings_ , Juggie.”

His eyes get darker before he leans down and kisses me on the mouth. For a moment I’m startled, unsure of doing this in front of the others… but then I remember where we are, where we’re living and the obstacles we’re facing, and I throw everything to the wind. I kiss him back, not caring about the hoots and hollers. I care about my heart and my head and what this man is making me feel.


	13. Looking for a home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jug and Betty make a discovery and the morning brings new common goals for eveyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT.

It must be well past midnight when I wake with a start. Some of the guys are still mingling around the fire, others have gone inside the house while I had fallen asleep against Jughead’s shoulder. I yawn, exhausted. Now that we’ve found them I’m way more relaxed.

“Are you going to keep guard?” I ask him a moment later.

“Not tonight. I’m dead tired… Let’s go inside.”

I stand with his help and after saying goodnight to everyone we head inside. We claim one of the rooms on the second floor; Jug locks the door and pushes a chair against the knob just to be sure.

“Who are we trying to keep out?”

He smirks and comes toward me. “Everyone who tries to disturb us.”

“Weren’t you tired a moment ago?”

“Never too tired to be with you.” He kisses me languidly before pushing me toward the bed. It’s been a while since the last time I slept on a mattress. I’m almost tempted to turn him down and get to sleep, but he’s much more tantalizing.

We stumble toward it while we shed our clothes as quickly as we can. I don’t know why but there’s an urgency in the air that we cannot keep at bay. His mouth keeps moving from my cheek to my collarbone, driving me crazy.

I slide my hands over his stomach and down to the button of his trousers. I never undressed a man before and the thought makes my hands tremble. He takes them in his.

“It’s okay, we have time. You don’t have to rush into things you’re not comfortable with… okay?”

I nod and look down at what appears to be an almost faded tattoo on his side. I touch it with a finger, and he shivers. “What is it?” I ask him quietly.

“What?” He asks back frowning.

“Did you have a tattoo?”

His eyebrows almost reach the top of his forehead. “Not there. I had one on the shoulder but… I did something bad to someone who decided to do something bad in return. A long time ago… I almost died.”

I feel my eyes water at the thought. “What is this then?” I touch the mark on his side once again.

He looks down, seeming as confused as me and he joins my fingers. “I- I actually don’t know, Betty. What does it look like?”

“I can’t tell in this darkness… Maybe tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah…” He furrows his brows.

“Does it hurt?”

“No, it just kind of itches… Sometimes. Don’t worry though, it’ll go away.”

I smile and wrap my arms around his neck. He kisses me and then we fall on the bed. It’s dusty but we don’t care. There’s nothing I need more in this moment beside him…

“How do you feel?” He asks as he kisses my ear.

“I’m okay… I don’t need _that_.”

He snikers into my neck. “What is it that you don’t need?”

I slap his bare shoulder. “You’re evil. I’m not going to say it.”

“So violent…”

“Will you shut up and kiss me? Please?” I snap.

He laughs but doesn’t say anything else. He keeps moving his mouth over my skin until he reaches the button of my trousers. He unfastens them and pushes them down my legs. His lips find the bare skin of my hipbone and a shiver runs all over my body.

“So responsive…” He murmurs, goosebumps appearing everywhere.

“I need you…” I gasp eagerly. “Please…”

He growls something I don’t understand and frees me of the last part of my clothing. His mouth is on me a second later, his hands keeping my legs spread apart and I can’t help but hold his head right _there_. It feels so good… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get used to the idea that this is something people do.

“Jug…”

He doesn’t relent. He keeps going, adding a finger and making me see stars. All I can do is take whatever he’s giving me and hope I won't die of a heart attack or something.

His free hand moves over my hip, squeezing it tightly. I jump, suddenly overwhelmed by the touch and the warmness spreading all over me. I squirm, unsure of how to control what is happening to my body. I squeeze my eyes shut and bite my lips when he takes that nub at the top of my sex into his mouth and sucks. I do everything in my power to hold the sounds, but the pleasure is too intense and a moment later a fly over the edge. A moan escapes my throat... I’m not sure I care enough to get embarrassed. Jug keeps his hand on me until I’m completely back from the place he sent me.

“You’re going to break me if you keep doing that!” I say after having regained my bearings.

He laughs and crawls over my body. He’s already undressed, I missed the moment he shed the rest of his clothes.

“What if they hear us?” I ask when he gets in position.

“Let them hear… I don’t care.”

He shuts me up then, entering me in a thrust and taking my breath away. It's amazing… It’s getting better every time we do this, and my heart gets lighter.

I’m startled when he turns us around and I find myself seated over him. The angle blows my mind away, literally. “I-I don’t know what to do…”

“Follow your instinct…” He growls squeezing my hips and helping me move.

It’s not an easy position, but after a while I’m able to find a rhythm that satisfies me enough. It doesn’t take much after that and with his help we’re able to reach our peaks together.

I fall on his chest, breathing hard. He’s sweaty but I don’t care. His heart is beating fast under my cheek, as fast as mine beats.

“That was… _amazing_.” I gasp when I know I’m able to give some sense to my jumbled thoughts.

“I second that… I think I can’t move my legs.”

I laugh quietly and slide off him getting on my side and finding a more comfortable position. He covers us with a very dusty plaid... basking in each other company for a while.

I brush my fingers over the strange mark, unconsciously, and he laughs quietly.

“What?” I ask looking up at him.

“It’s ticklish...” His eyes are sparkling even in the dark.

“Do you think they heard us?”

“Probably. Does it bothers you?”

I shrug. “I don’t know… Do you think they’re okay with this?”

“With us?”

“Yeah…” My eyelids are starting to feel heavy. I know I won’t be able to stay awake for much longer.

“They’ll be happy…”

“Toni too?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t she?”

I yawn and close my eyes. “I got jealous… When she hugged you…”

He hugs me to himself... I hear him say something but I’m already asleep.

*** 

We wake the following morning with someone banging on our door. The sun is already up but oh how I would love to stay exactly where I am.

“You two need to get up! It’s time to move!”

Jughead grumbles into my neck. “We’re up, we’re up! Give us a moment Pea.”

“I don’t want to.”

He lifts his head and looks down at me. “I don’t want to either, but we have to go.”

I burrow my face into the pillow trying to bask in the warmness of the bed. Then I roll over and sigh, sitting on the edge of the mattress. “I hate this life.”

“We’ll find a place, we just need to search for it.”

I stand and turn toward him, just in my panties. “I hope so.”

My eyes fall on the mark on his side then and the curiosity gets the best of me. “Let me see that thing.”

“Oh yeah, I had forgotten about it.”

He moves closer to the window and I take a good look at it… It seems like a burn in the shape of a snake but at the touch the skin feels normal. “It seems like a snake of some sort… As if someone burned it into your skin…”

His eyes go wide then. “What is it?” I ask.

He moves me until I’m turned sideways toward him. “You won’t ever believe what I’m going to tell you…” He murmurs incredulous.

I look down at my hip, trying to see. There, on my bare flash, there’s a mark very similar to his just a little bit smaller. “I- I don’t know what to say… What does it mean?”

He shakes his head, mouth agape and brows furrowed. “Does it hurt?”

“No… It just itches sometimes and it’s sensitive. I thought it was a bruise left from our activities of two nights ago but… I don’t know now.”

The smile on his face confuses me but I don’t say anything. He just hugs me tightly to himself and kisses my mouth. “Get dressed, we’ll talk later. I’m sure Toni knows something about this and she’s going to be as discreet as possible. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, of course. Why shouldn’t it be?”

“Since you told me you got jealous of her when she hugged me…” He smirks while he puts his clothes on.

I freeze on the spot, trousers halfway up. “What are you talking about?”

“This night before falling asleep you told me you got jealous…”

I blush while I finish to get dressed. “I don’t remember, I was probably sleep talking.”

He bursts into a laugh but doesn’t prod. “Whatever you say.”

*** 

When we join the group the smiles on their faces are ginormous. I try not to think about the fact that they _might_ have heard us… I try to push the worry and embarrassment aside even if it's very difficult.  
Cheryl welcomes us with a well-placed _Good morning lovebirds_ and they all burst into a fit of giggles and quiet laughs.

Jughead rolls his eyes. “Shut the hell up all of you. We need to make a plan… What I know is that we can’t keep moving around. At some point we’ll have to stop. So, what do you say if we start searching for a place we can fortify and call our home? It has to be a place well hidden…”

Veronica claps her hands. “I couldn’t wait for you to say something like that! I’m so tired of walking and sleeping on the ground!

“What do you guys think?” He questions.

“Do you believe it’s the right move?” Sweet Pea asks from Veronica’s side.

“I believe so, we have to stop at some point Pea.”

He looks at him before moving his eyes on me, dubious. Then he shrugs and nods. “Okay then! We should get to the mountains… Find one of those lodges where rich people used to spend the holidays. Should be safe!”

“You know what Pea…” Veronica murmurs lost in thoughts. “We used to have one of those. If only we’d be able to understand where we are…”

“I’m sure we can find one of those cabins around here too. Excellent idea Sweet Pea.” Jug congratulates him with a pat on the back.

Cheryl mumbles something while she bites a nail. We all turn toward her, and she stops instantly, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry guys, I was thinking out loud. Are we sure it’s _safe, safe_? With the earthquakes and all?”

I sigh, making my presence clear for the first time. “Cheryl, if we think about the earthquakes, we won’t ever find a place. It’s time to settle and try to build a life… Don’t you want to?”

“Of course, I want to… I was just thinking about the options but… You’re right, it’s the best for everyone right now.”

“So, we’re going on an expedition?” Kevin inquires as he pats my dog’s head. I smile.

“Oh yeah, Kev. We are.” Jug drags me against his side, and I smile. I’m starting to see a sparkle of a possible future with this group of people. With Jughead. For the first time I’m not overwhelmed. On the contrary I really can’t wait to go on this journey.

“Are we moving or not!?” Cheryl exclaims. “You couch potatoes are too slow!”

Toni bursts into a laugh and we all follow... Except Jughead who watches her with a deadly glare. I squeeze his hand in mine, feeling him relax instantly.

“Let’s go Jug. I can’t wait.”


	14. Myth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jughead and Betty find the courage to talk with Toni. Betty tries to give meaning to what she tells them. How will she cope?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've added a couple of tags! I always meant to do this since the very first chapter. Hope you like.

Jughead doesn’t leave my side that day. He’s so loving that sometimes my head struggles to catch up with my heart.

“What do you think those marks are?” I ask quietly. He holds my hand while he's looking around.

“I’m not sure… I’ve read a philosophy book once about a myth. I don’t remember all of it, but it told the story about the idea of _Soulmates_. Originally human beings weren’t split by genre and every single one of them had four arms and four legs. They were perfect in their balance but with time these beings started to become insolent toward the gods that created them and so they got punished. The gods separated them in two parts, one side became man and the other woman. As a consequence, every human being is always looking for that lost half… be that a woman or a man. It doesn’t really matter…”

“So, you’re saying that’s our case?”

“Betty, that was a myth. I don’t remember anything else about it and in the end, I don’t know… but it sure as hell is strange. All of this is strange, if you think about it… We meet, we fight but can’t stay away from one another and then these marks appear at the same time on both of our bodies.” He heaves a sigh. “And now I have this feeling inside of me that tells me to not lose sight of you, to be near you and never let you go…”

I stop on the spot and so does he. “If it’s true, how come it never happened before?”

He takes my head between his hands and shrugs. “I don’t know Betts. I really don’t. I’m at a loss of words…”

“Does this bother you? This… possibility?”

“It scares me, being so attached to someone else. But it doesn’t bother me.”

“You guys! We’re not going to wait for you!” Veronica’s voice disturbs us.

“Shut up you pest! We’re having a conversation!” Jughead shouts back.

“If you get lost we won’t come looking for you!” She snaps, clearly annoyed.

“Come on Jug, let’s not remain behind…”

We lace our fingers back together and resume our walk. Bob has joined us and now he’s strolling not far from me, sniffling around and wiggling his tail.

“Does it bother you?” Jug asks after a while.

“It doesn’t… but I am overwhelmed. The idea of having a destined _soulmate_ has never crossed my mind. You said you wanted to talk with Toni about this… why?”

“She always liked these things… Do you mind?”

“No but I’d prefer if you talked with her in private.”

“Don’t worry… That’s my intention, Betts.” He kisses my forehead and I smile. The world is really changing. Everything is changing.

*** 

We stop for lunch because Veronica is complaining about her feet hurting and Kevin needs to rest.

“How are you feeling?” I ask him while we eat.

“I’m almost completely fine. I just need to relax a little and then we can move.”

“We’re not in a hurry… We have all the time in the world, Kevin.”

He smiles and nudges me with his elbows. “So, you and Jughead…”

I flush and look down, not wanting to meet his gaze. “Yeah. It just happened. We couldn’t stay away from each other… He’s so good to me.”

“I’m glad… He was always so moody. He needed a good lay!” He jokes making me laugh.

“He’s just a silent guy… he doesn’t share if he doesn’t want to.”

He studies me for a long moment. “You changed too.”

“I- I’m working on it… He’s helping me…”

“Do you still feel the urge to flee?”

I shrug. “Sometimes… My mother is still inside my head. Everything she told me… everything she never did…”

“I’m sorry you had to go through something like that…”

“It’s in the past…”

“Betty.” Jughead calls me. He’s standing in front of us with Toni by his side. I jump on my feet and take his hand.

“Thank you for the chat, Kevin… I need to take care of something if you don't mind.”

“Go do your things!” He waves his hands before starting to whisper. “I’m going to go get Fangs… He’s such a good helper!”

We all laugh at his antics and look while he strolls toward the guy in discussion. “Fangs’ in trouble.” Jughead mutters amused.

“Let’s go guys. Whatever you need to show me… I’m curious now!”

We move away from the group, getting behind some thick bushes but remaining were we can hear them. Jughead doesn’t feel comfortable enough to get too far away and I support his request wholeheartedly.

“So, what is it that I need to see?” Toni asks as she leans against a tree.

“Something happened since the day we remained by ourselves…” Jug starts. “I believe what happened between us is kinda obvious but that’s not important.”  
  
He lifts all of his upper clothes so that the mark is well visible. I swallow, seeing how it’s getting more and more defined by the hour.

“What is it? Is that a tattoo I did not know about?”

Jughead looks at me. “Betts, come on. She won’t say anything.”

My hands tremble when I lift my shirts and when she sees the sign on my hip her eyes widen. She touches Jug’s before coming to me and doing the same. The skin is completely normal at the touch. Nothing has really changed since earlier this morning... beside the sharpness.

“You guys…” She whispers. “It’s… this is amazing.”

“What do you think it is?” I ask uncertain.

She looks at me and smiles. “They’re one and the same. It’s a soulmate mark. There’s no other explanation… unless you decided to get tatted. But of course this is in no way a tattoo.”

My mind is fighting what Toni’s saying to us. How is this possible? Nothing like this ever happened before… Why? I close my hands but try to control the need to sink the nails into my palms.

“It appeared out of nowhere, Toni.”

Her face is split into a big grin. “You are making history! This is so exciting! I can’t believe I get the privilege to be a witness!” She hugs us both together.

“How?” I ask her. “Jug told me about the myth of the soulmates but…”

“Do you really need to know?” She inquires.

“N-no, it’s just that… I find it difficult to be understandable. If it weren’t on my skin, I wouldn’t believe a thing of what you’re telling me.”

She puts both hands on my shoulders and look me in the eyes. “Betty, pretend the mark isn’t there. How do you _feel_? Both of you… You need to listen to your feelings. The mark is there but your hearts must have known you were each other’s better half since the very first moment you met!”

Jug and I share a small smile and I shrug, not wanting to say things to her when I still haven’t told him in the first place.

“I know it’s overwhelming. I mean… I can only imagine! But… it’s not a disease. You found each other right when the world decided to go to hell. If it’s not destiny then what is it?” She continues.

“Thank you, Toni.” Jug murmurs laying one of his hands against the small of my back. “We’d like to keep this to ourselves for a while if you don’t mind…”

“My mouth is zipped. You can trust me!”

“Thank you, really…” I nod in her direction. “And Toni… Maybe you won’t be just a witness. Cheryl… You look good together.”

“We do! Right? I’m not sure if she likes me that way but… She’s so hot!”

Jughead laughs and snorts. “Go back to the others. We’ll be right there.”

She leaves us by ourselves. My nerves are on alert and my nails are a breath away from sinking into my palms.

“Betts…” He murmurs taking them and forcing them open. “I know it’s not understandable but… We’ll figure it out, with time.”

I nod. “I know what my feelings are… I can’t say it’s love, Jug. We’ve met less than a week ago, but every time I’m in your company I feel complete. It’s irrational! My mind can’t grasp this concept even though what you make me feel is real and passionate and so mind-blowing. That feeling almost paralyzes me but I can’t get enough of it even if I’m so scared of getting hurt. The part of me still linked to my mother is ready to destroy me.”

His mouth crushes against mine. My heart beats so fast it almost takes my breath away. We stay like that for a while, pressed together and as emotional as we can be.  
When he detaches from me his eyes are dark and sparkling. “We’ll figure it out as time goes. Okay? Don’t get scared by this… Don’t hurt yourself for _this_. It’s good. It’s not something bad. I won’t leave you because I don’t want to leave. Do you believe me?”

I nod quickly, biting my lips and trying to hold back the tears. “I do.”

“Everything you had to endure when you were under your mother’s control… This is your reward, Betty.”

“Our… It’s our reward.”

He nods and smiles before looking at my hands. “Keep them open. Okay?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Tell me if you realize you can’t control it. We’ll _find a place_ to stay for a while. For ourselves.”

I blush and shiver. “I’m okay for now but I’ll tell you. I promise.”

“Good. Let’s get back to the others. We have to keep going… The mountains are a couple of days away from us.”

“Can I ask you something before we go?”

“Of course, what is it?”

“Why the snake?”

He snorts. “I have no fucking clue, Betts! We’ll have to figure it out!”

*** 

That night we don’t have a place to get covered and so we are forced to light a fire a sleep all huddled together. We share plaids and body warmth and right now I couldn’t ask for anything better.

Jug is spooning me from behind, his warmness making me all sleepy even though I’m not really tired. I observe the group of people; Cheryl and Toni are so close together that it’s difficult to distinguish one from the other… They’re so cute! I smile to myself but I must have made a noise because Jug pushes his face into my neck and kisses me there.

“What are you snickering about?”

“I was looking at Toni and Cheryl… We did a good thing, bringing her with us.”

“Yeah… Cheryl is a pain in the ass but you’re right.” He agrees with me quietly. “Who knows, maybe they’re soulmates too!”

I turn a little toward him so that I can see his face. “We wouldn’t be the only ones to make history…”

His hand finds my mark under all the plaids and shirts and he brushes it, almost reverently. I close my eyes, trembling. The skin there is so sensitive when he touches it… “Please…” I murmur quietly. “You’re driving me crazy.”

He smirks and leans down to kiss me; his hand moves down toward the waistline of my trousers, but I stop him quickly. “They won’t realize it.” He murmurs.

“I- I’m not comfortable with this… Please?”

He readjusts my clothes then and hugs me to himself once again, leaving one last kiss on my lips. “Don’t worry Betts, I understand. Try to sleep, okay?”

I nod relaxing instantly and facing the group once again. Toni meets my eyes and I can’t help but smile at her. She grins in return before giving all her attentions back to the girl who has clearly stolen her heart.  
Even though I’m confused and somewhat scared by the fact that I have a soulmate and that I am someone’s soulmate in return, I’m not too opposed to the fact that my life is finally going in the right direction. The only thing that keeps bugging me is that at some point something might ruin this peace. Nothing is made to be perfect, my mother made sure to always remind me of that. I fall asleep a moment later, well aware that the fight against the monster I’m hosting inside my head is going to be long and difficult.


	15. Grande

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jughead will need to make a stand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some MATURE CONTENT halfway through the chapter. It's nothing much.

The following morning, we wake up with a surprise; the sky is as white as snow and I don’t think it’ll take too long for it to start falling. We decide to try and cover as much territory as we can, stopping only to relieve ourselves and collect clean water. If we’ve read the map right, there must be a little town on our way to the mountains and we’re hoping to bunk down in there for as long as we need. It’s not as safe as being isolated into a lodge in the mountains but with snow on its way we can’t do much else.

Bob is walking beside me while Veronica is on my other side, chattering about her old life and how she somehow prefers the wilderness to the high society she came from.

“It was always so boring. Every time I went to one of my parents dinners I risked to fall asleep, _standing up!_ ”

I snort. “I wish I’d know what you mean but my mother never brought me to one of hers. She was a journalist, she had many of those but… she said that my sister was more fitted for the role. I don’t know… I’m glad she didn’t take me after all.”

“Damn but what was her problem exactly?”

“I have no clue whatsoever… She just _hated me_.”

“You have us now! She doesn’t know what she’s missed!”

I smile, grateful. I know there had to be something completely wrong in her head for behaving like she did. Or maybe I was the problem… I would have loved to know, at least I’d be at peace right now.

Bob stops and growls and we all freeze. Jughead comes to my side instantly, taking my hand in his and pushing our bodies together. I don’t see or hear anything strange. The birds are chirping, and wild animals can be heard moving around so we can exclude another earthquake.

“Bob, what is it?” I ask patting his head.

Then a man appears from the bushes, hands raised. “I mean no harm. I’ve been here for a while when I heard you guys…”

Jughead moves forward, leaving me there. The worry gnaws at my insides. What if he’s not alone?

Fangs and Sweet Pea follow him, and I relax a tiny little bit. That’s my other half, right there. Veronica squeezes my arm. “It’s going to be okay.”

“We’re passing by.” Jug says to the man. Sweet Pea crosses his arms over his chest. Bob is still immobile beside me, staring at the stranger.

“You can go wherever you want to. I won’t cause any trouble.”

“What are you doing here? Alone?”

“I lost my group some time ago… I’ve been by myself ever since.”

“What’s your name?”

“Elio.”

I see Jug’s eyes become little fissures. “That’s a strange name for a local.”

“He’s not local!” Veronica jumps in.

“Do you know him?” I ask.

“He seemed familiar. The beard and old rags almost fooled me. _Elio Grande_ , what are you doing here?”

He seems genuinely surprised. “Veronica Lodge? What a coincidence!”

“What are you doing here? I won’t ask again.” Jughead interferes, his voice lowering dangerously.

“I was going back home with a group of friends when the earthquakes started. We were at a gas station… I was relieving myself while my friends where waiting in the car. You can imagine what happened when the earth started to shake. The gas lines exploded and my friends with them. I stayed with a group of men for a while but… we didn’t see eye to eye so I left.”

Veronica bursts into a loud laugh. “This is riveting!”

“It’s the truth!”

“He was part of the mafia.” She reveals. “He was one of the worse. I won’t ever believe you’ve changed.”

Jughead unhooks the sledgehammer from his belt and takes a step toward him. “You go your way, we’re going ours. If I see you, be it even from a couple of miles away, I’m coming after you. I don’t care if you’re some big old mafia guy. I’m some big old gang member guy who has dealt with fuckers like you on a daily basis. See these two guys at my side? They were part of _my_ gang. They’ll do what I ask within the blink of an eye. So, have I made myself clear?”

Elio stares back at him, teeth clearly grinding but he nods slowly. “I’ll go the other way.”

Jughead holds his gaze for a moment before nodding back. “Remember what I said.”

The guy turns around and starts walking away. He stops beside me and Veronica, staring her down and smirking. “You were always the feisty one.”

I shiver, his voice so full of maliciousness and venom that I involuntarily take a step back. Jug moves toward us and Elio raises his hands once again before walking away.

I almost launch myself at Jug. He pushed the man away but… what if it doesn’t work?

“Betty, your hands.” He murmurs into my ear.

I glance down at them seeing the damage. I immediately hide them into the sleeves of my jacket and try to hold back the tears. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t realize… I was scared he was going to hurt you.”

He kisses my forehead. “We’ll deal with this as soon as we find a safe place. Alright?”

I nod quickly. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. Please.”

“Okay.”

“Jug, what are we gonna do now?” Toni asks, her hand intertwined with Cheryl’s.

He turns his gaze toward the retreating form of Elio before looking at Veronica. “Can we trust him?”

“I’d say no but he’s alone and we’re a group. He’s not stupid. He knows he wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Let’s go. I want to get to that town before it starts snowing. I can smell it in the air already.”

*** 

The town is none other than a very small built up area. There are maybe four or five woodened houses that fortunately seem to be holding up even if they're all covered in moss.

“That’s what we’re gonna do.” Jug says. “We divide in groups of two and go look at every single one of them. Take the useful, leave the rest. We’re going to meet right here at the end of the street and then we’ll decide which one of the houses is in better condition to spend our time while we wait for the snow to pass. If you hear something strange, come back right away. Make yourselves heard. Alright?”

“Alright Jug. Don’t worry, we’ll be safe. That guy creeped me out.” Toni responds shivering.

“It’s okay Toni, I know how to hurt a man if he decides to make a sudden appearance!” Cheryl says nonchalantly.

We all look at her. “Cheryl what was your job before everything went to hell?” Sweet Pea asks.

She smirks. “I was black belt in martial arts and I taught young women how to defend themselves from creepers.”

“Holy shit…” Toni exclaims, mouth agape. “You’re a goddess.”

“Thank you! I know!”

We burst into a laugh. “You’re something else, Cheryl.” Kevin adds before taking Fangs arm and moving toward one of the houses.

“Bob, stay here and keep guard… okay?” I kneel in front of my dog and scratch his neck. “Keep guard! Got it?”

He barks and sits on his hind legs, wiggling his tail. “Good boy! Bark if you hear anything.”

Jug takes my hand and together we move toward the first house in line. I look back at Bob, seeing him concentrated on his surroundings.

“He’s a smart dog.” Jughead says from my side. “I had one too when I was little, but he just slept and ate. That’s it. I don’t believe I’ve ever heard him bark .”

I smile at his memory.

I let myself being dragged inside. It’s a two-story house completely made out of wood. It must have been beautiful once, when it was kept. There’s not much left but looking around doesn’t hurt.

“Let’s go upstairs.” Jughead says.

The stairs creak under our weight but they’re sturdy.

We enter one of the rooms and look around, it must have belonged to a child… There are stuffed animals everywhere and the walls are decorated with clouds and bees and flowers… It’s always sad. I hope this child is still alive, somewhere.

“There’s nothing useful here, let’s go into the other room…” I murmur.

Jug follows me outside but stops before going inside. “We need to talk.”

I swallow avoiding his eyes. “I’m okay… I just got scared.”

“Hurting yourself when you get overwhelmed is not _okay_ , Betty.”

“I’m getting better.”

“Are you? Really?”

“Yes, Jug. I am.”

“Come with me…” He takes my wrist and drags me into the next room. It’s the master bedroom but I don’t have enough time to look around because he shuts the door pushing my back against it right away. He kisses me roughly and I take everything he’s giving me. I mewl into his mouth, raising on my tiptoes and squeezing him to myself.

“Turn around and put your hands against the door.” He orders.

I do as he says, biting my lower lip and leaning my forehead against the wood. A second later his hands are on the button of my trousers and then I see them fall on the ground.

“Hands open, Betts. Do you want to do this?”

I nod quickly and spread my fingers out.

“We don’t have much time. Remember what I’ve told you… if you are uncomfortable, tell me.”

“I will, Jug.”

He leaves the panties on and then he slaps one of his hands on my butt cheek. I yelp quietly and moan right after. His other hand grips my hip, right over the mark. I feel it pulsing under his palm. I shiver and he spanks me a few more times.

“I need you.” I mutter. “Please.”

It’s fast and hard but _oh so satisfying_ when he thrusts in me. He moves quickly, his chest pressed against my back and his hands splayed over my stomach and sides. I push back against him, as best as I can, still learning the basics after all.

“Betts…” He sighs into my ear. “You’re amazing.”

One of his fingers quickly strokes _that nub_ at the top of my sex and he sinks his teeth into the muscles of my shoulders before spanking me one more time. I tremble in his arms, feeling my legs give out underneath me when I come. He follows right after and we both sink on the ground, breathing heavily, unable to move.

“We need to go…” He says a moment later. “We can’t get caught with our pants down.”

I laugh at the idea and face him. “Thank you…”

“That wasn’t even half of what I wanted to do to you. But we’ll have to make do. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am.” I touch the skin of my neck, sure that it’s going to bruise this time and loving the idea. _I’m his._ And he’s mine. Everyone should know it. I attach my mouth on the skin of his neck and suck.

“Betts…” He breathes heavily. “What?”

When I’m satisfied with the mark I smile and stand up on my feet. “Why should I be the only one with a dark purple bruise screaming _I’m somebody’s property_? Now You have one too.”  
  
He laughs. “That makes so much sense!”

“Oh and for the record… We might be soulmates but I’m still my own person! Alright?”

“Got it! And I respect that. I like an independent woman!” He smirks, his eyes sparkling.

“Good! Glad we’re on the same page!”

*** 

We leave the house half an hour later with a couple of plaids and a small med kit we’ve found under the child’s bed.  
Kevin and Fangs are already at the meeting point while Bob is still seated where I left him, keeping guard.

“Bob! Come here boy!” He runs toward us right away and sits by my side.  
  
“There wasn’t much. These houses have been looted a long time ago.” Fangs says. “The only maybe useful thing was a broom but I left it there.”

Cheryl and Toni join us soon after bringing a box full of canned goods.

“We are rich!” Cheryl exclaims. “Figuratively, I mean! I was rich once but these are way more useful than money!”

“We’ll have to distribute it to each other. Where are Veronica and Pea?” Jughead asks.

“I’m not sure…” Toni says. “Do you want me to go look for them?”

“Yeah. Tell them to move their asses. We need to bunk down. The snow is coming.” White flakes are indeed starting to fall and as much as I've always loved snow, right now I can't wait to get inside.

*** 

Toni’s screeches scare the shit out of all of us. “Holy shit!” She exclaims. “I did not need to see _that!_ ”

Cheryl bursts into a laugh. “I knew it was going to happen. Too much tension between them! Sorry you had to be a spectator, T.”

“I want bleach. Do we have some bleach?” She asks horrified.

I look at Jughead, amused. It could have been us. “We got luckly.” I whisper.

*** 

In the end choosing in which house to stay makes no difference. They’re all in the same condition, we just needed to fortify it.

Veronica is still as red as a tomato and she hasn’t opened her mouth since we’ve settled.  
Bob is sleeping beside her and she has her hands buried into his fur.

“Veronica…” I call her quietly while the others are talking among themselves.

“I’m so mortified.”

“It’s okay! Nothing happened!”

She snorts. “I don’t think Toni agrees with you.”

I suppress a laugh. “She’ll get over it!”

“I hope so…” She sighs. “I think I’m going to sleep. I need to forget all of this.”

She stands but I grip her hand, stopping her from leaving. “Don’t push him away… In this world every second is important.”

“I know. Thank you, Betty.”

Jughead takes her place a moment later, sneaking his arm around my waist and holding me tight. “Is she okay?”

“She’s just embarrassed. She’s going to be fine in the morning.”

“Good. Come on, let’s sleep. We’ve had a long day.”

We settle under some plaids, our backs turned against the others so that we get to have a little bit of privacy.

“Do you think we’re safe here?” I ask him after a while.

“I don’t know. I hope.”

“What about that guy?”

“If he shows his face around here, I’ll take care of him.” He growls, his voice as cold as ice.

I shiver, not used to this Jughead. I know it’s a side of him that won’t leave just because I’m in his life. I know he has a dark side too. I just don’t know to which extent he’s capable of going in case of threat. I saw a glimpse of his darkness when he pushed Elio away. I got a little bit scared by his ruthlessness, I can’t deny it; but I can’t even deny that seeing him like that sure as hell did not make me want to run the other way. On the contrary… anything but.  



	16. Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty openly sees Jughead's dark side and starts coming to term with the fact that having a soulmate also means being deeply intertwined with him, always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Violence occurrs.

Bob’s bark is what wakes me. My eyes are so heavy I’m barely able to open them.

“Hush, Bob. You’ll wake the others up.” I murmur.

He keeps barking every time with more urgency and that’s what gives me the push to fight the tiredness and open my eyes. For a moment I’m confused by the fact that I can barely see. Then the smell invades my nostrils and I start to cough. When I’m coherent enough to focus on what the hell is going on the blood freezes into my veins.

“Jug…” I shake him. “Jug! Wake up! Jug!”

He mutters in his sleep but doesn’t blink.

“Jug! There’s a fire! The house is on fire!” I start to shout through a fit of coughs.

His eyes shot open a moment later. “W-What is happening?”

“We need to wake the others!”

“Open the door!” He shouts while he runs toward Toni and shakes her violently.

Who knows for how long we’ve been inhaling this smoke. I run toward the entrance, but I can’t really open it. “Jug it’s stuck!” I cough and kneel on the floor, trying to stay low.

“That fucker.” I hear him growl. “Toni!”

She wakes slowly, her eyes heavy. “Who’s smoking inside the house?” She asks coughing.

“There’s a fire. Help me wake the others up… We need to get out of here.”

Jughead breaks every window and the smoke starts flowing outside. “Move aside Betts. I’m going to knock this door down.”

Sweet Pea joins him a moment later and together they’re able to break the hinges and push it open. Bob runs on the street and I follow him, almost crawling through the thin layer of snow. My eyes are burning and I feel like I’m on the brink of fainting.

Toni comes out right after me with Cheryl on her side, both coughing. Fangs is next, arms full of our things and then I see Kevin leave the house with Jughead’s help. I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.  
I stand on shaky legs and run toward him. He hugs me tightly, but his face is set into a hard scowl.

“Where’s Veronica?” Kevin asks.

“Sweet Pea went looking for her. They’ll be out in a moment.” Jug explains through gritted teeth. “I have to find that dick. All of this wasn’t a coincidence.”

“Jug, wait for Sweet Pea… You can’t go alone.” I plead holding his face. “Please.”

His eyes are inscrutable, dark and set on his mission: _find Elio and kill him_. He exhales heavily before closing his eyes and nodding.

Just then Sweet Pea runs out of the house with a rag around his nose and mouth and an unconscious Veronica in his arms. “She was upstairs! She inhaled most of the smoke… I-I couldn’t wake her!”

“Fangs put one of the plaids on the ground!” Toni barks before running toward her friend.

Veronica is laid on it and pushed on her side. Toni checks her pulse and nods when she finds it.

“She’s breathing and her heartbeat seems steady. She’s going to be okay, don’t worry guys.” Her hands are trembling and I see the concern in her eyes.

“Pea, Fangs. Let’s go find that fucker. Look for footprints.” Jug orders them before starting to move with them. Then he stops, reconsidering something in his head and turning toward me. “Can you give me your gun?”

I’m startled by his request, but I nod quickly. “It’s in the backpack. Fangs-“

“Got it!” He shouts. “Let’s go Jug.”

“Jug!” I draw his attention back to me but he doesn’t come any closer. “Be safe and come back.”

His eyes soften a tiny little bit and nods. “I will. Cheryl, I trust your abilities to defend them.”

“As soon as I’ve regained the ability to breathe… Don’t worry. Go!”

“We found something, boss!” Sweet Pea’s voice comes from the back of the house.

He looks at me one last time and then he walks away. My insides start to feel colder at every step he takes away from me and when I can’t see him anymore it’s like my heart has completely frozen over.

*** 

At some point the cold starts seeping through the layers of my clothes and my teeth chatters. I join Toni and Kevin, both by Veronica’s side and we all huddle together under the canopy of covers she has made to keep our friend warm enough.

“Betty, you’re freezing.” Kevin exclaims when I accidentally touch his hand.

I nod. “Yeah, I’ll be okay in a moment. How is she?”

Toni shrugs, unsure. “I think she’s okay. She just needs to breathe some fresh air.”

Cheryl scoffs from her standing position over us. “The house didn’t even burn down. He just wanted to kill us by asphyxiation. I hate that guy! I should have gone with the guys!”

“Cheryl, you’re protecting us… Let them do their job.” Kevin mutters. “We shouldn’t have trusted him. One of us should have kept guard.”

“It’s how it is, Kevin. We’re lucky we’re alive.” Toni sighs heavily.

Bob's eyes are fixed to the part of woods the guys disappeared into, on alert and unmoving. Maybe he should have gone with them. I exhale and lean my head over my knees, trying to remain as calm as I can. I put my hand under my bomber jacket and shirts holding it against _our_ mark, trying to take comfort from the fact that it’s warm and somehow pulsing under my touch. _Please, come back. Please._ I think over and over again.  
  
“Are you okay?” Toni asks quietly.

I nod. “I am. Scared but… the mark is still warm. I’m convincing myself that he’s okay too.”

“You’d be the first one to know if something happened. It’s how it works. Don’t worry okay?”

I bite my lip, holding back the tears. “Why do I feel like this?”

“What happened?” Kevin asks suddenly.

“She’s just worried, Kev.” Toni answers for me.

“He’ll be okay! You’ll see, Betts.”

I smile at him and put my head back on my knees, trying very hard not to fist my hands. _Why is it so overwhelming?_  
  
Bob startles us all when he starts barking and growling. I stand quickly, getting by his side and holding him back. Then we hear someone grunt in pain and voices following right behind.

Elio is the first one to stumble out of the woods, his hands held high over his head and a bloody nose. Jughead is right behind him, face unreadable and gun pressed against the back of Elio’s head.

“Move. Get in front of them.” He orders.

“I didn’t do anything!” He exclaims.

Sweet Pea kicks him and pushes him on the ground, a couple of meters away from where Veronica is still unconscious.

“You did that to her!” He shouts into his face.

“Pea, step back.” Jug growls. His eyes are focused on his target, hand unmoving. “Say you’re sorry.”

He explodes into a laugh. “What’s going to change if I apologize?”

Jug presses the gun against his temple. “Do it or so help me God I won’t care if they see your brain get splattered all over the snow.”

Elio locks his jaws and squeezes his eyes shut. “So, kill me. I’m sure your girl will be happy to see the monster she decided to stay with!”

Jug’s eyes meet mine. I can see the guy has hit the nail right over the head. “Apologize. Now.”

“Jug…” I murmur taking a step toward him. “It’s okay.”

He shakes his head and I see him falter. I reach his side. “Stay back, Betty.”

“There’s something you should know, Elio. We live in a fucked-up world. You can have a choice now…” I murmur moving so that I’m in front of him. My hands are trembling. “You can get up and leave and never come back, or you get to die right now. If we are what’s left of humanity, we shouldn’t forget that forgiveness is precious. We’re alive after all, we’re all more or less in good condition. If you leave now, you get to stay alive. None of them will come looking for you… Otherwise, I won’t turn the other way when Jughead puts a bullet into your brain.”

Elio stares into my eyes. I can see the fight simmering right under the surface. “Do you think I’m afraid to die? I was part of the mafia-”

“Jug.” I interrupt him stepping aside.

He holds my gaze for a moment, trying to understand if I’m serious or not. I don’t know what he sees into my eyes but I sure as hell can read his when he makes peace with the part of himself that’s scared of losing me. The silence is almost deafening, no one dares to say a word. When the shot resounds around us we listen as it echoes in every direction.

I look at the blood seeping right into the white snow. The contrast is almost fascinating and I blink my eyes, horrified by the thought.

“Betts…” Jug makes me jump on the spot.

I hug him to myself, as tightly as I can, and cry. “I was so scared… I-I couldn’t breathe.”

“It’s okay… I’m sorry you had to see that. I-I’ll try to change…” His voice is thick with worry and unshed tears.

“ _No!_ No, Jug… We gave him a choice. We did. And he chose to die. You protected us. You protected _me_ like that first day in the forest…”

He buries his face into my neck and nods. “Your hands?”

I smile, proud for once in my life. “I resisted the urge to hurt myself.”

He takes them in his and brushes the scabbing scars littering my palms. His mouth finds mine in a quick kiss. “I’m proud of you.”

I smile and nod. “Can we get inside one of the other houses?”

“Yeah, we all need to get warm and sleep. We’re lucky the snow has stopped falling for now-”

“What happened? Why are we outside?” Veronica’s voice reaches our ears.

“Veronica!” Kevin lunges himself at her and starts crying. “Elio set fire to the house! You wouldn’t wake up!”

She coughs a couple of times and tries to sit up. “My ass is freezing.” She complains.

“We’re going inside, now.” Sweet Pea growls. “Can you walk?”

“Of course…” Then her eyes fall on the body lying on the ground. “You killed him?”

“We gave him a choice, Veronica.” I defend Jughead when I see her eyes zoom in on the gun by his feet. “He chose to die.”

She stares at the pool of blood before shrugging. “He got what he deserved. Let’s get inside, I’m cold as fuck.”

Sweet Pea throws an arm around her shoulders and guides her toward one of the other houses.

“I want you to myself.” Jug whispers into my ear. “Let’s get into one of the other buildings… We’ll meet up with the group in the morning.”

I nod, unable to contradict him right now. All I want is to be with him and only him.

“If you don’t mind we need to stay on our own for a while…” Jughead says aloud.

Toni turns toward us, hand in hand with Cheryl, and smiles. “I understand. We’ll meet in the morning right here. It’s not a big city after all.”  
  
I collect our things from where Fangs had put them. “Thank you.” I murmur gratefully.

She moves her eyes quickly toward Cheryl before looking back at us. “You’ll get used to that heart wrenching feeling every time you get separated. It’ll become normal, at some point.”

I take Jug’s hand in mine. “I know.”

We turn toward one of the other houses. I can clearly hear Cheryl ask Toni what she was talking about. I don’t hear the answer though and I don’t really care. Both my head and heart are too focused on the man beside me to care about what the group thinks of Toni’s words. _Let them know_ , a part of me reasons egoistically. “Let them know.” I murmur to myself before getting inside and closing the door behind me.  



	17. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How beautiful is the snow? It's magical and it brings eveyone together… Confessions will be made. What kind of confessions, though?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is a longer chapter for sure. There's some MATURE CONTENT toward the end.

In the end the snow did catch up on us.  
The morning after the fire we were surprised by so much snow that we couldn’t even leave the house, not that we complained. That day we decided we would stay were we where until it was deemed safe to start the trek toward the mountains.

The good thing that has come out of this is that me and Jug are still on our own almost a week later and it feels like being lost in our own little bubble.  
He left a couple of times just to go take some of the food Toni had found and see how they were holding up.

Bob is with the group right now, but he comes and goes whenever he wants to. He’s a wild dog after all… he doesn’t really like to be hold inside for too long.

The stone fireplace has been useful. We’ve been burning pieces of chairs and tables to keep warm and we’ve been sleeping on a mattress in front of it.

I’m currently under a couple of plaids cuddling to Jughead's sleepy form sprawled halfway over me. I brush back the hair from his forehead, trying to soothe his dreams as best as I can. He’s been having nightmares ever since the day he killed Elio in cold blood… I’m not sure what's happening exactly inside his head, I’ve tried to ask him and I told him to talk with me but every time he adamantly said he’s fine.

I look at my hands then, the scars are almost completely healed. Sometimes I still feel the urge to hurt myself, especially when my mother’s face comes into my mind, but I know how to fight her now. I know how to fight the impulse to sink the nails into my palms and Jug has everything to do with my ability to have control.

I bite my bottom lip, thinking about the last couple of days together. It’s been _amazing_ at the very least. Just thinking about half the things we did makes me blush from head to toe. _Your mother would be so ashamed of you, Betty!_ My mind likes to remind me. I roll my eyes. What was my mother’s problem exactly? Did she not enjoy her time with my father when she conceived me or my sister? I cringe at the thought, but I really can’t find an explaination! _Maybe he didn’t know what to do!_ I think to myself and I can’t help but chuckle.

“You know…” Jughead murmurs into my chest, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re going out of your mind.”

I laugh. “I’m sorry, I was thinking about my father… I didn’t mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep.”

“Mmm… No, it’s okay. I can’t keep sleeping all day.”

“Why not? There’s not much to do right now. Also, it’s not like you’re able to rest at night with those nightmares…”

He sighs and rolls on his back, an arm over his eyes. “They’ll go away at some point…”

I turn on my side, facing him. “Why don’t you want to talk to me about them?”

He shrugs. “They’re just nightmares…”

I look down at the well visible mark now and I can’t help but touch it. Goosebumps raise over his skin and I smile.

“Do you ever feel like it’s moving?” I ask after a moment.

“I’m not sure… It’s almost as if it reaches out to yours when we’re in proximity. And when we’re not in the same room it pulses. It’s strange but comforting at the same time.”

“Yeah… Do you think we should tell the others?”

“Why?”

“It’s not like we can stay away from one another. The last time I almost had a panic attack… They’ll believe I’m going out of my mind for real.”

He rolls over me. “Considering I have zero intentions of leaving you anytime soon, I don’t think it’s going to be a problem.”

I smile and kiss him. “Okay then, we’ll keep it to ourselves for now.”

“Even though... I don't think it would be so bad if the others knew you’re mine. Would solve many problems…”

I slap his back. “First of all, you’re mine too... I could say the same thing! Second of all, why are you even threatened? Sweet Pea is all over Veronica, Kevin is gay and Fangs… I’m still not sure who Fangs likes now that I think about it!”

“I’m not going to spill his secrets!”

I pout as cutely as I can. “Please?”

“Nope!” He says laughing and standing up in all of his naked glory.

“Where are you going?” I whine. “Come back here…”

“I need to go relieve myself then I’ll come back with some food, promise.”

“What if I don’t want food right now?”

He keeps dressing before looking down at me. “We eat first. Later we’ll have all the sex you want.”

“Promise?”

He laughs. “As if it were a chore for me! Promise!”

I snuggle into the covers and smile, pleased, while I wait for his return. The light outside is white and shiny…

A thought enters my mind then and I can’t help but giggle to myself. I start putting all my clothes on before tying my hair up into a messy bun. I want to go outside and have some fun in the snow. I never had the chance to do so when my mother was alive… _It’s not ladylike playing in the snow and getting all wet!_ She used to say. And so, I would stay inside looking outside the window at the other children laughing and joking around with their friends and parents. I want to make a new memory.

Jughead comes back inside, shaking the snow off his boots. “What are you doing up and dressed? I thought you wanted to _stay in bed_.”

“I do! But…” I go to him and take his hands in mine, smiling. “I want to make a new memory. My mother wouldn’t ever let me play with the snow and so I was thinking… What if we gather the others and make a snowman or something?”

My excitement makes him laugh a little. “You want to play in the snow? Really?”

I nod quickly. “Please, please, please??”

“Alright! Can we eat first though? My stomach is digesting itself…”

“Yeah, yeah… let’s eat!”

*** 

We divide into two groups, girls and guys, and decide to have a snowball fight using the two sides of the street as base camp for each team.

It’s fun. I’m laughing so hard I almost can’t stay upright but it’s so liberating that I can’t stop.  
A snowball strikes me right over the chest and I scowl, looking for the culprit. Jughead is smirking at me, ready to throw another ball.

“Don’t you dare! Jughead!”

But I see the snowball fly through the air before it hits me right over the forehead. I fall on the ground with a thud and Jug is leaning over me a moment later, concern written all over his face.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I thought you were going to duck! Why didn’t you?”

“My reflexes are all frozen!” I grumble half laughing.

Veronica and Sweet Pea appears in my camp on vision both laughing.

“Jeez, Betts! That was an amazing fall!” She exclaims with tears streaming down her face.

“Very funny, yeah, very funny! Now, can somebody help me up?”

Jug holds one of his hands out but I take advantage of his distraction to pull him down with me.  
We roll around the snow for a while, laughing and attracting the other’s attention. It’s only when I feel the coldness of the snow connect with the skin of my back that I stop. The jacket and shirts have lifted leaving my mark exposed for everyone to see. I push them down quickly, pretending nothing happened but when I meet Veronica’s confused gaze I know she must have seen it.

“It’s cold! I think it’s time to get back inside!” I exclaim trying to get the attention away from me.

“Yeah, my fingers are on their way to fall off!” Cheryl wines. “I would very much like to keep them all!”

“Jug, when are we going to leave?” Fangs asks breathing heavily.

“As soon as the snow has melted a little bit… it’s dangerous to hit the road now.”

“Can’t we just stay here for the winter?” Toni asks.

“I’m not sure it’s safe, T. We’re on a street… Everyone could pass and see us. We’re already risking enough right now.”

“Alright then… Will we see each other tomorrow?” Veronica asks still staring at me.

I nod quickly. “If I don’t get the flu. I’m freezing.”

Jughead catches me off guard when he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder like a potato sack. “I’m taking her inside before she starts sneezing! Bye guys!”

“Jug! I can walk by myself!” I huff.

The last thing I hear before he closes the door behind us is the general laugh going on between our friends.

He puts me down and starts undressing me right away. "You need to get warm. Undress and get under the covers… I’ll light the fire straight away.”

“You’re all wet too.”

“I’ll join you in a moment don’t worry dear.” He mutters while he puts some wood into the fireplace and tries to light it.

*** 

We’re kissing, squeezed together under the covers and trying to get warm. The fire is burning beside us, our stomachs are more or less full and my heart is beating so fast I believe it’s going to come out of its place inside my chest.

Jug rolls over me, my legs gripping his hips in a vice. All I can feel, all I can breathe… it’s him. I detach my lips from his and stare at him. My hand is stuck over his mark, having become a habit by now… the sensations it gives to the both of us are so out of this world that we can’t get enough of them.

“I want you.” I say matter-of-factly. I won’t ever want another man in my life as much as I want him. I don’t ever want to think about not having him in my life. It destroys me inside.

“You can have me, always.” He murmurs burying his head under my chin and kissing me there.

“I want you now…” I moan, squirming underneath him.

He pushes inside of me an instant later and kisses me. It’s sweet and deeply satisfying… involving more than just our own bodies. And it’s different from the other times we’ve had sex; he’s moving slowly, as if not wanting to make it end. His hands intertwine with mine, pushing them over my head.

He lifts his head when the need to breathe becomes indispensable, but he doesn’t move any faster. He just stares into my eyes and kisses every single inch of my face before looking back at me, his breath fast and erratic.

“ _I love you…_ ” He murmurs, his eyes almost glistening.

My heart stops beating before restarting at an even faster pace. “What?”

“I do. I love you. It’s irrational, but I do. So much it almost hurts…”

Tears start falling down my eyes, wetting the pillow under my head. I free my hands from his grip and hold his face. “I love you t-too…”

His mouth splits into a smile so beautiful that I almost want to burst into tears, for real.

“I love you.” He repeats one more time before turning us around and letting me guide. His hands are on my hips, helping the movements, while mine are pushed against his chest for leverage. We don’t stay put for long though because he suddenly sits up and embraces me. It’s intimate and passionate at the same time… and it doesn’t take much from that. I squeeze him to myself… my face buried into his neck, his buried into mine and both moaning our names when we come within mere seconds from one another.

We fall on the mattress, unmoving.

“Did you really mean it?” I ask in a whisper.

He nods, kissing my forehead. “Yeah, I did.”

His voice is thick, full of emotions.

“My heart is beating so fast I’m scared it’s going to stop working at some point…”

“Mine too…”

“I love you, Jug.” My voice breaks and he looks down, brushing the hair away from my face. “You’re saving me. Everyday a little bit more…”  
  
“I’ll always save you. Till you want me to.”

“Can we sleep now? You sucked all of my energies out of my body…”

He laughs and rolls us both on our sides. His front against my back and his arms around me… It’s comforting and I wish we could stay like this forever.

All that is missing is the right place.  



	18. Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jughead opens up about his past and Veronica shares her most intimate secret with Betty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an emotional chapter to write. We'll hear about Jughead's past and there's mention of death and maybe violence.  
> MATURE CONTENT toward the end.

“What do you miss the most?” Jughead asks a couple of nights later.

“About what?” I question back sleepily.

“About before… When everything was more or less normal.”

I blink my eyes open and stare at Bob’s sleeping form by the fireplace. “I… I don’t know. Maybe music and the future I had in mind… You?”

He sighs and props his head up on his elbow looking down at me. “Music and food. I’d die for a greasy hamburger right now.”

“I’ve never had one. No hamburgers, no fried potatoes…”

He gasps, almost affronted, and I laugh looking back at him. “That’s a shame! Let’s make a séance! I’m going to say a few words to your mom!”

“Oh my gosh. No, please! With our luck she’d probably hunt us forever…” I shudder at the thought. As if she wasn’t enough in my mind already.

We fall into a comfortable silence, his hand brushing over the bare skin of my arm. We haven’t stepped foot outside since the night we said our _I love you_ to each other. Veronica tried to lure me out but even if I wanted to, the visceral need to stay with him wouldn’t let me move.  
  
“I never thought I'd get the change to have a future before…” Jug murmurs staring into the fire. “Leader of a gang of men and women with nothing to loose… I did horrible things in my life Betty and sometimes I can hardly believe that person was really _me_. The nightmares I’m having are all centered around you… There’s someone from my past that comes and takes you away from me and the pain I feel inside my chest is so unbearable that I wake without breath. Every single time.  
Then I see you and somehow, I feel better… but I can’t go back to sleep. Maybe this is my punishment for all the bad things I did consciously. Having you and being tormented by the fear of remaining alone.”

I sniffle into the pillow, a couple of tears falling down my cheeks. “Whatever you did, Jug, it’s in the past. You have every right to have a second chance… I won’t go anywhere. Ever. I can’t leave now. Don’t you see?”

“What I know is that there could be an earthquake tomorrow that takes you away from me and that would be my punishment. I’ve always believed I’d be dead before twenty-five. Killing Elio has resurfaced memories I thought I’d completely buried when I left my hometown…”

I bite my lip, unsure of asking what is whirling inside my head.

“You can ask me everything you want me to…” He looks distraught, on the verge of tears.

“I don’t want to make you suffer…”

“You won’t be the one to make me suffer. It’s all my fault…”

I press my hand over his cheek and nod. “Why did you choose that life?”

“It was the easiest way for me to live. I was alone and the gang provided me everything I needed… When my father died I accepted to take the leadership because I wanted to. There wasn’t any other reason…”

“Have you ever killed?” I murmur, not breaking eye contact with him.

He takes a moment to answer and maybe that should be enough for me, but I need to know his reasons. I want him, with the good and the bad. If he accepts my baggage, why can’t I share his?

“I did.” His voice breaks and the tears falling from his eyes crack my barely healed heart in two. “I was the leader, but I was young and sometimes I had to do unspeakable things to mark my territory. The first time I was barely able to get home before I vomited the content of my stomach all over the floor. After that it became easier…”

I swallow back the bile. “How many?”

“Five kills… Six if I count Elio.”

“Who were they?”

“Bad guys, maybe even worse than me. Drug dealers, pimps… The only thing that kept me going was knowing that I was freeing the earth from the scum. I was scum too but at least I had a moral. No drugs to the youngest, no pimps, no exploitation of prostitution... My gang mainly dealt with stolen cars and bikes but at some point, some of the eldest decided to go rogue and started dealing shit I’ve always prohibited. They collided with other gangs and that’s when I had to step up to save the rest of my men…”

“You just had to survive, Jug. You weren’t scum… You were just a kid trying to find the home his parents did not provide. I’m not saying the things you did are excusable… but you were just trying to stay alive in a world that was failing you.”

He sighs and hugs me, burying his face into my neck. His tears startles me… “Jug.”

“I-I’m s-sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

I can’t help but cry too. It’s unbearable, the pain he’s feeling. It kills me. He’s hurting and I’m hurting too. “It’s okay, Jug. Everyone’s redeemable…”

“ _I killed_ … Betty!”

“I know…”

“I killed people. I took away their lives… How- how can you still want to be with me?”

“Because you’re kind and tender and sweet. I see your dark side, but it doesn’t scare me… You’re _good_ , Jug. You are.”

He shakes his head and keeps crying. I’m not sure I know what to do… I’m not sure I’m fit to help him as damaged as I am.  
  
I keep holding him, whispering soothing things into his ear and trying to just be here for him. “What can I do, Jug?”

“Just… hold me. Don’t leave me.”

I kiss his mouth. “I won’t. I’m here.”

*** 

I’m woken some time later by a soft knock on the door. Bob lifts his head but thankfully Jughead remains asleep. I put his boxers and hoodie on and look through the window to see who it is. Veronica is out there, bundled up in a big plaid.

“Veronica… What are you doing here this late?” I ask once I've opened the door, trying not to wake Jug.

“Can I come in?”

I look back at his sleeping form. His chest is uncovered, and the mark is well visible. “Jughead’s sleeping. He’s had a rough couple of days… I don’t want to wake him. If you don’t mind…”

She heaves a sigh and peers over my shoulder. “Can we talk though? I need to tell you something… I’ll be quiet, I promise.”

I turn back toward Jug and bite my lip. Who cares if she knows?  
I step aside and let her in. Her eyes immediately zero in on his side, feeling a sudden possessiveness overcome me. I kneel beside him and push the covers up under his chin before brushing his forehead, hoping to let him sleep some more.

“What is it, Veronica?”

“I… I’m not sure how to start this conversation.”

“Please, be quick…”

“When I left my parents after the first earthquake, I wasn’t alone. I was with my boyfriend… Archie. He was amazing, kind, funny, talented… he came from humble origins. My parents knew of his existence of course but they never approved of our relationship. They tried to separate us, in the beginning… then I emancipated myself and stopped listening to them. It was impossible for us to not be together… We couldn’t. I loved him so much that sometimes when he wasn’t beside me I couldn’t breathe.  
I believed we were an exception, that we were the only ones but then I saw you two together and the way you love each other so deeply… I saw your mark, Betty. Seeing his right now is all the confirmation I needed. You’re soulmates.”

I blink back the tears, realizing that she knew what was happening to us and that something went terribly wrong to her other half. Her eyes are telling me something I’m not sure I want to hear.

“Y-yeah…” I whisper. “We are.”

She smiles and hugs me, eyes glistening. “I’m happy. Don’t ever let each other go… _never_. That’s all I wanted to say.”

I nod quickly into her neck. “I won’t.”

“Good… I’m going back now. Sweet Pea is waiting for me. Do you mind if I take Bob with us?”

“Not at all… Bob, come here.”

He stands right away and sits in front of the door, already knowing he’s going to go outside. Veronica joins him and pats his head kindly. “I’m glad you’ve met each other…”

She opens the door and lets the dog out.

“Veronica…” I call her, my voice breaking. “Did it hurt?”

She squeezes her eyes shut. “So bad I felt like I was dying too.”

The tears that fall down my face are inevitable. I watch her go back to the other house, Sweet Pea waves at me but I’m too distraught to reciprocate.

I close the door and turn back toward Jughead. He’s still sleeping, his expression relaxed. I join him, discarding every piece of clothes I had put on.

I cuddle into him, he mumbles something in his sleep and puts an arm around me but doesn’t wake up. The heartbreak I’m feeling for Veronica is still so strong that shudders run up and down my body.

I close my eyes and sigh, basking into his warmth. I press a kiss over his heart and leave my cheek there, soothed by its regular beating. I don’t ever want to think about the possibility of having to live without him. I brush my fingers over his mark, tracing its shape and marveling in the warmness emanating from it.

Jughead stirs and opens his eyes looking down at me. I meet his gaze and see the concern when he notices the tears.

“What happened?”

I shake my head. “Nothing, I’m just emotional after everything. I’m okay, I swear…”

He brushes the hair away from my face, tenderly. “I love you. Thank you for what you did for me…”

“I’d do it everyday in the blink of an eye.”

“Can I make love to you now?” He asks with little voice.

I smile. “Of course, Jug. You won't ever need to ask.”

He rolls over me and kisses every inch of my face, making me giggle. “You’re perfect.” He mumbles.

He immediately goes down my body, skipping my breasts and settling in between my thighs. By now it’s a _dance_ I’ve learned well… I open my legs and wait in anticipation for his mouth to be on me.  
  
He teases me for a while, nipping my flesh and blowing on my most sensitive parts. “Jug…” I moan, “Please!”

“So eager…” He murmurs into my heat.

His fingers enter me, taking my breath away and his tongue finds my clit right after. He goes into it right away, almost bringing me to the edge in mere seconds but not giving me that last push. He brings me there a couple of times, making me go crazy. “Jughead I’m going to hurt you if you don’t let me come!”

He laughs and goes back to his teasing before leaving me altogether. He crawls over me, eyes soft but full of mischief. “I want to be inside you when you come. And I want to come with you.”

I bite back a moan but nod quickly, squeezing him between my legs and urging him on with my feet. “What are you waiting for Jug?”

He shakes his head, smiling softly. “This is going to be our last condom…” He says as he rolls it over himself. “What are we gonna do?”

“We’ll think about it. I want you now.”

He enters me slowly and in one push. He’s so deep inside me that I almost see stars. His lips find mine immediately, pouring everything we feel for each other into the kiss.  
His arms sneak under my shoulders, holding me tightly to himself as if wanting to absorb me… He seems so desperate that tears fall from my eyes uncontrollably.

“I’m here Jug, I’m here… I’m not going anywhere.”

He brushes the tears away from my eyes, tenderness written all over his face. “Don’t cry…”

“I-I can’t help it… It feels so good!” I moan quietly. “And I love you… so much, it hurts.”

His thrusts quicken then, unable to keep the slow pace for much longer.  
I’m tingling, every part of me is on fire and I know I won’t be able to hold back for much longer.  
  
“I want to be on top…”

He rolls us over and I moan when heat starts spreading all over my body. I grind on him, as best as I can without his help. He’s letting me guide this time and as tiring as it is, I like being in control somehow.

“Touch yourself…” He grumbles through gritted teeth.

“I’ve never done… that.”

He takes my hand, pushing it against my nub and making me see stars. I squeeze him so tight inside of me that a serie of profanities leaves his mouth followed by my name said over and over again.

He repeatedly thrusts up inside of me then, touching a place so deep that sends me right over the edge. I fall against his chest, trembling, unable to hold my weight and I feel him follow me a moment later. We shudder together, holding each other so hard I’m sure we're going to bruise.

The tears that keep falling down my face are a mix of happiness, tiredness and sadness… For the life he had to choose when he was only a boy, for the unloving home I was raised into, for Veronica’s grief and pain.

“Veronica knows…” I almost sob. “She- she told me her story, Jug. She had a soulmate… _once_. She said… she felt like she was dying when he… when he passed away. I-I don’t know what happened… But I could read the pain so vividly in her eyes that I felt my heart break…”

He hugs me tightly. “That won’t happen to us… If I have to take you away from everyone else, then so be it. We’ll leave and find a place to be, just the two of us. For as long as you want me.”

I smile through the tears. “Just- just promise me you’ll stay with me… I don’t care if we’re with them or on our own. Promise me you won’t make harsh decisions and that you’ll always remember that you’re not on your own now. I don’t want to feel what Veronica’s feeling.”

“You won’t.”

*** 

It’s hours later when we’ve both calmed down, that I remember what he said just before he thrust inside of me.

“Jug?” I call him as I bite into a piece of canned peach. “Did we really finish all the condoms?”

He coughs, swallowing whatever he was eating. “Yeah… We’ll have to work around it. I’ll pull out…”

“So crass, Jug!”

“Well, I don’t see any other solution here and I’m not sure I’ll be able to go through sexual abstinence with you beside me!”

“Where did you find them in the first place?”

“It was a joke… Sweet Pea found them while he was looting a car and since I wasn’t in the best of moods, he decided to gift them to me with a post it over them that said _“You need to get laid. You’re too hard on your friends.”_ Not sure how much of a joke it actually was. I was insufferable… I don’t know how they put up with my shit.”

“What are we gonna do? Is there a shop around here, somewhere? How did these people survive?”

“I’ll look at the map tomorrow… Right now I just want to finish here and get back under the covers. I’m drained. I wouldn’t have the energy to even put a finger on you.”

I smile, looking at his tired eyes. “Okay, we can wait. I’m tired too… It’s been an emotional day to say the least.” 

"Worst case scenario? We'll make beautiful babies!"

I almost choke on my last piece of peach. “Jug!”

“Yeah, yeah… I’m gonna get some sleep. I’m out of my mind.” He chuckles.

I follow him right away. Yeah, he’s completely out of his mind. One thing I’ll give him though… Our possible future babies will surely be perfect.  



	19. Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty learns something that's going to destibilize her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from my mini hiatus!  
> Unfortunately, I'll only be able to update every other day because I have to work on something especially stressfull. From next monday everything will get back to normal!

The following morning, I am woken by the sun.  
I really can’t wait to get back on the road, I’m so tired of living like this. All I want right now is to find a place and stop. _Stop and start living_ , for real. I need this to get better.  
This last week with Jughead has been amazing, in its ups and downs. Being alone with him, relaxed, hasn’t spiked any episode of self-deprecation but I know I’m not okay. I know it very well. Sometimes I find myself digging the nails into my palms without a reason and that’s what I need to work onto.

From my position against his chest I look up at Jughead’s sleeping face and for the first time since Elio’s death he seems relaxed. Maybe talking with me about his past helped him cope. I really hope so.

I close my eyes and bask in the warmth. I tend to forget we’ve met three weeks ago... when my mind gives me some respite. I still can’t grasp how this can be possible but I’m starting to get used to that. _He loves me!_ Never in a million years I would have thought I’d find myself in this situation: escaped the end of the world, survived with just the company of a dog and then found my soulmate by luck. _Soulmate._ I smile at the thought. I have a soulmate and my mother can’t put her mouth in this. He’s all mine. He won’t ever be tainted by her presence even if she’s still very much inside my mind.

“Why are you thinking that hard this early in the morning?” Jug mumbles through a yawn.

“I can’t help it.” I smile kissing his chin. “But I’m okay. How are you feeling?”

“Better, thanks to you. And seeing the sun for the first time since forever sure as hell gives me new energies to work with.” He rolls us, settling over my body.

He kisses my neck and goes south, his mouth hot over my collarbone. “Jug, as much as I’d love to get down to _business_ with you… we’re out of condom and really… I’m so hungry I could probably eat you right now!”

He laughs when he hears my stomach grumble in response. “Alright, alright. I’m going to feed you… _Don’t move._ ”

“I have zero intentions to move.”

I watch him as he moves around and gathers something for us to eat in bed. We’re conserving as much as we can for the trek but this morning he takes more than usual. “I’m not _that_ hungry!”

“Well, I am. I’ll eat less at lunch, promise.”

He comes back with the map and the food.

“What are we looking for?” I ask as I bite into an energy bar.

“The snow is melting… we should be able to get on the road by tomorrow morning. We need condoms. Like, now. And then we need to find the best route to the mountains… We can’t go blind.”

“Agreed. The condoms are absolutely the most important thing in this plan of yours!”

“Of course they are!”

I laugh and shake my head. “What if we don’t find them?”

“We’ll think of something… I’m not sure what, but there’s always a way.” He says stubbornly.

“Jug… I still don’t know many things about sex but I don’t think that pulling out is effective in preventing a pregnancy.”

He sighs. “I know… You said you haven’t had your period in almost two years though…”

I laugh. “Are you that desperate to have your way with me?”

“Absolutely, yeah!” His eyes widen.

“Jughead, at some point it’s bound to come back… as soon as we settle, and the stress is gone my body will relax and it’ll be back… Not regular but it’ll come.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I don’t know… I really don’t.” I huff. “Did you really mean what you said last night?”

“Well… I mean, I was particularly tired and all but… in the future maybe I’d love to be a dad. Be better than my own. I hope.” He mutters looking at the map, his eyes never leaving it.

I force him to look up at me. “One day, Jug. When we’re sure we’ll live and when we have settled down in a place we can call home. For now, all I need to do is get better… mentally. And as much as I’m well aware we’re soulmate, doesn’t mean we have to rush into things more than we already did. Don't you agree with me?”

He nods and smirks. “We agree on _one day_. That’s a plan I love.”

*** 

That afternoon the guys, minus Kevin, and with Bob's company, leave for a little store not far from where we are located. My heart and head scream at me to not let Jughead go… but we need to start living normally, somehow. We can’t stay cooped up inside a house just the two of us for the rest of our lives.

I’ve joined the girls and Kevin into the house they all shared this past week and I find myself at least a little bit entertained by the stories they’re recounting.  
It seems like me and Jug weren’t the only ones who decided to have some _alone time_ after all.

Toni and Cheryl are all over each other, kissing and giggling.

“How long has this been going on?” I ask Kevin at some point.

He laughs. “This is the third day. I’m glad I’m a heavy sleeper!”

“Which I am not!” Veronica quips disgruntled. “I heard everything there was to hear!”

“You are both so annoying! There’s not much to do… If you had a problem with us, you could have moved into one of the other houses!” Cheryl snaps rolling her eyes and waving her hands at them.

I laugh quietly. “What can we do to while we wait for the guys to come back? I need to think about something or I’m going to go out of my damn mind…”

Kevin looks at me funnily. “Are you already that dependent on him? Where is the girl who claimed she was better off by herself?”

I shrug. “He has helped me a lot…”

He snorts. “I bet!”

I can’t help but get defensive. I close my hands into fists and frown slightly, trying to hide it behind a small smile. I know he’s joking but… my head isn’t really in the right place right now.

“Leave her alone, Kev. She’s experiencing love for the first time!” Toni defends me.

“I was just kidding!”

“Don’t worry Kevin, it’s okay.” I murmur unclenching my hands. My palms are smarting but the skin is still intact, thankfully.

Veronica throws an arm around my shoulders, squeezing me to her side. “They’ll come back in no time...”

“Yeah, I know…”

She claps her hands quickly then. “Let’s play a game!”

“What kind of game?” Kevin asks intrigued.

“Maybe we could know each other a little better! What about _Never have I ever_?”

“Uhm, there’s something missing in the equation V. Where’s the alcohol?” Toni questions matter-of-factly.

Veronica rolls her eyes and stands up, going straight to her backpack and producing a bottle of something I don’t know. “I’ve kept this for myself way too long! So? What do you say?”

I swallow thickly while they all whoop and agree. I’ve never had a sip of alcohol in my entire life.

“Betty?”

“Well… How does it works?”

“We all get into a circle. At turns, one of us says something he or she never did starting with _Never Have I Ever_ and whoever at some point in our lives has done the action, must drink. It’s simple!”

It seems innocent enough. “Alright…”

She jumps on the spot excitedly before joining us on the ground right by the fire. “I’ll start right away!”

“Not fair!” Cheryl whines. “I _always_ start these games!”

“My alcohol, my rules! Feel free to step outside.”

Cheryl huffs but doesn’t move from her position on top of Toni.

“So, let’s see… Never have I ever driven a motorbike.”

“So lame!” Cheryl grumbles.

“I’m warming up! Toni, make her shut up before I’m doing it myself!”

I snigger looking at the scene evolving in front of me.

“So?” She prods.

Toni smirks and drinks. “Of course I did, I was part of Jug’s gang after all.”

My heart stutters at his name. “He had a bike too?”

She looks at me. “He did. It was a beautiful bike… It’s a shame it broke.”

I shiver at the thought of him on a bike with a leather jacket and black jeans. I squeeze my thighs together, trying to distract myself from the heat taking residence down there.

Kevin is next and his question is a little bit more risqué. “Never have I ever had public sex!”

Both Toni and Cheryl drink and we can’t help but gape at them.

“What!?” Cheryl exclaims. “My girlfriend had very particular tastes.”

“I have very particular tastes…” Toni smirks ogling Cheryl. I blush at the intensity of their gaze.

Kevin moves his eyes on me. “Betty?”

I raise my eyebrows. “Me? Nope.”

“Veronica?”

“Not really my scene.”

“Your turn Betty!”

“I-I don’t know what to say…”

“You can say everything you want!” Veronica prods me gently.

“Well… Never have I ever drunk any alcohol?”

“Really!?” Cheryl exclaims.

“I was seventeen when the world ended and… my mother was a very strict woman. She wouldn’t let me out of her sight. So.”

“We’ll just have to find something you did!” Cheryl’s eyes sparkle with mischief. “It’s your turn, T.”

She rolls her eyes at the other girl’s antics. “Never have I ever… lived into a mansion.”

“Nice, T. Very nice!”

Both Chery and Veronica drink.

“It’s my turn now! Finally!” The red head exclaims excitedly. “Never have I ever let a guy go down on me.”

I blush furiously. I hate this game. I don’t want to play anymore. I drink some of the stuff and cough. It’s disgusting. Cheryl whoops and I hide my face into my hands.

Toni drinks too. "He sure as hell knows what to do!" She exclaims laughing. The blood freezes into my veins. _What?_  


“We want details!” Veronica chirps, not really getting how I am feeling.

Toni glances at me and seems to realize whats she has said. “Oh my god! Betty! I'm sorry… I-I didn't mean to. It happened when we were barely eighteen and soon after I realized I liked girls...”

I swallow and dig my nails into my palms. For real this time. Logically I know it happened so long ago that it doesn't matter… but I feel so humiliated. She said that like I wasn't even here, in front of everyone.

I stand up quickly. It’s overwhelming, being at the center of their attention. “I’m going back to the house.”

I move toward the entrance and step outside. It’s cold but I don’t turn around. I know I shouldn't feel this way but… I’m still not there. I’m not capable of doing this. I’ve barely had time to get used to their presence all at once.

“Betty!” Toni’s voice disrupts me from my thoughts, but I don’t stop.

“I need to be on my own!” I shout back as I open the door of _my_ house and slam it closed.

I throw my boots away and crawl under the covers, hiding my face under the pillow and trying not to cry. I feel my hands sting and I open the fingers knowing what I was going to find. The wounds are small but they’re there. I’ve ruined all the good work I had done this past week.

I want Jughead here, with me. Even after what I've just learned. I need him but I’m alone and my mother’s voice comes back with a vengeance. _You’re better off by yourself! No one will ever want you! You’re worthless, Elizabeth. She is better than you._

The tears fall. I can’t do anything to stop them. I’ve ruined everything.

I fall asleep hidden under the covers, the fire almost completely out, and my nails sunk deeply into my flesh.


	20. Shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jughead comes back and finds a broken down Betty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT after the asterisks.

I hear Jug’s voice before I even see him. He seems frantic, why though?  
He quickly opens the door but I don’t move from my position underneath the covers… I feel too ashamed to show my face. I behaved like a child. It happened in the past, I should have laughed on it. Why am I like this?

I feel the mattress dip when he sits beside me. “Betts?”

“I shouldn’t have reacted like I did…” I tell him instantly.

He slowly pulls the covers down my face, his eyes worried. “What happened?”

“Didn’t they tell you?” I ask quietly.

“No, they told me to come looking for you because you weren’t feeling well…”

The tears start rolling down my face before I even realize it. “We were playing a game and… Toni, she said something about the two of you and… I snapped. I behaved like a child… I-I shouldn’t have…”

His eyes widen. “What did she say?”

“Cheryl wanted to find a thing that I did so she said something sexual… Toni made it clear you did that together and… Veronica started asking for details and… It’s not really my business…”

He sighs and scratches his neck. “We got together when we were eighteen, it lasted maybe two weeks and then we realized we were better off as friends. I should have told you… I just never thought about it…”

“It’s not my business…” I murmur. I should believe in what I’m saying but my heart is hurting, and I don’t know why. I shouldn’t be jealous, right? It happened in the past.

“Betty. It is your business now… We’re together! You’re my soulmate… I’d be jealous too!”

“I-I just would have preferred if you told me… I felt so humiliated. She said that in front of everyone as if I wasn’t even there and… I snapped. I shouldn’t have, Jug…”

“She shouldn’t have said anything… And Veronica should have kept her mouth shut!” He grumbles.

“It was just a game… maybe I should have laughed on it. I don’t know how they’ll ever want to put up with me…”

“Betts, stop. You can’t control your reactions! I don’t even understand why you aren’t mad at me right now…”

“Do you want me to be mad at you?”

“Of course not but… What are you feeling?” He asks e pleadingly. “Tell me, love.”

My eyes sting. “Humiliated. And jealous. My mind keeps telling me I’m not good enough for you… that she’s better that me…”

“No. No, no, no. Betty, no. You have my heart, and you are amazing! Please, don’t think like that… You were making such good progresses! They shouldn’t have pushed you.” He frowns. “I’ll be right back…”

“W-where are you going?”

He kisses my forehead and stands. “Don’t worry. Stay here, it’ll take just a moment. I swear.”

“Don’t get mad at them, it was my fault-”

“No!” He exclaims. “They should know better. It is their fault.”

He leaves the house right after… leaving me there with tears wetting my pillow and bleeding hands that he still hasn’t seen. He’s going to be so disappointed. _You’re a disappointment, Elizabeth._  
I squeeze my eyes shut and then I hear the shouts coming from outside.

“ _Are you fucking crazy!? Toni why can’t you control your fucking mouth! And you, Veronica… I can't even... You all know what she’s been through but still disregarded her like that? I thought you were better than this! I mean, I don’t know you Cheryl... but all of you! I’m disappointed. Don’t show your face around until it’s time to leave. And even then, don’t talk to me. Or her.”_

I keep crying. It’s my fault he’s fighting with his friends. It’s my fault. I should have pretended everything was fine.

The door slamming shut scares me and I sit up quickly.

“It’s me, it’s just me…” He says carefully.

“You shouldn’t have done that. They’re your friends…”

“And you’re my woman. I expected better from them…” His gaze falls onto my hands and he sighs. “Betts…”

I look down, ashamed. “I-I’m sorry. I’m a disappointment… I know. I’m sorry.”

He takes the first aid kit and sits beside me. “Stop. Stop, Betty. You’re not a disappointment. You got overwhelmed… We’ll get through this, okay?”

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that…” I murmur.

“Betty! Stop!” He exclaims. “Stop, okay? Take a deep breath and stop. Give me your hands, they need to get disinfected.”

I do as he says, trying very hard not to cry. “I’ve missed you… I’m not sure I know how to cope when you’re not with me.”

“I won’t leave you again. That’s a promise…”

“I was so good being by myself… What happened to me?”

He stops his ministrations on my hands. “You want to be alone?”

“No! No! I just don’t know why I’ve suddenly changed this much…”

He sighs. “First of all, you’ve been alone far too long. It’s okay for you to be overwhelmed when you’re in the company of other people. Second of all, we’re not just a normal couple Betty. It’s almost visceral, what we’re feeling for each other. I felt sick too, being away from you. It’s all so new… I’m sure that with time we’ll be able to do things on our own without panicking but for now... It’s uncontrollable.”

I nod slowly. “Do you think I’m a lost cause?”

“Absolutely not. If you believed I wasn’t a lost cause after telling you I’ve killed five people, how could you be a lost cause? You’ve been mentally abused by the one woman who should have protected you…”

I look at the bandages he has just secured over my hands and sigh. “I heard her. I heard her voice… I won’t ever be able to get rid of her…”

“That’s not true. This past week you didn’t hurt yourself once… You just need to get used to other people and exorcise the memory of your mother. You have to convince yourself that she’s nothing. She’s dead and she won’t ever have a say in what you decide to do. I’ll help you. Okay?”

“O-okay. Thank you, Jug.” I look at his eyes for the first time since he started tending to my wounds.

“Don’t thank me, please. I just want you to feel better…”

“I will… At some point.”

He kisses me gently and squeezes me against his chest. “I shouldn’t have left and I should have told you…”

“You needed to go. You’re still the leader of this group. And yeah, you should have but… It’s okay…”

“It’s not okay now but it’s going to be...”

I smile brushing his cheek. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

“Do you want to talk about this?”

I nod. “I need to distract myself. Please.”

He takes the backpack from the foot of our makeshift bed and opens it. When I see what’s inside, I can’t help but let out a small laugh. It does me good. “We should be okay for a while.”

“I raided the shelf before Sweet Pea and Fangs had the chance to see.”

I giggle. “You could have shared with Pea…”

“I did. I gave him back the box he gifted me. He’ll have to make do with what he has.”

“I can’t argue with that… I want to be selfish.”

He looks at me and shrugs. “Yeah, me too.”

We fall into a comfortable silence, the backpack still between us and many thoughts occupying my mind. “Jug…”

“Yeah?”

“I think I need you…” I murmur taking his hand in mine.

“I’m here. What do you need?”

I bite my lip and look at him. “ _I need you_ to help me forget…”

I practically see the lightbulb turn on when he understands what I mean. His chest heaves. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“No, but it’s going to help…”

“Are you one hundred percent sure?”

I nod quickly.

He keeps staring at me, as if wanting to read my mind. “If at any point you feel like it’s too much tell me. Okay?”

“I promise.”

He nods, more to himself than me and stands. “Okay. Undress then. I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

“To tell Sweet Pea to keep Bob with them for tonight. When I’m back I want to find you naked.” He smirks before going outside and slamming the door shut.

*** 

The waiting is killing me inside.

I’m undressed, sitting on the mattress and fidgeting with the bandages. He said I’m his best… Do I believe him? I’m still a little bit upset by the fact that I had to learn about his past relationship with Toni by her and not him but there’s nothing I can do now. I was barely twelve years old at the time.

The door opens and there he is, eyes dark and intense. “Good girl.”

I tremble at the praise, shivers running all over my body. I stare while he undresses, layer after layer, remaining just in his boxers. His… _our_ mark is right there, beautiful.

He moves slowly toward me, as if wondering what to do first. “Get up, hands against the wall by the window.”

I instantly do as he says, not even thinking about the fact that anyone could pass by and see me stark naked. The woodened wall is cold to the touch.

“Spread your legs a little.”

I hear him move around as I get into position. The fact that I can’t see what he’s doing is particularly thrilling. I bite my lip to keep myself from speaking, my forehead pushed against the wall.

When his hand brushes against me I almost jump out of my skin. It’s cold while I’m about to combust. “We’re going for something different this time. If, at any moment you feel uncomfortable you will tell me right away.”

“I will.”

“Good.” He kisses my back, from right shoulder to left and then he attaches his mouth on the spot right under my ear. His hand comes down on my butt-cheek, making me moan loudly.

“I’m warming you up.” He warns.

He spanks me a few more times, alternating between sides. I must be disturbed for liking this the way I am.  
One of his hands sneaks between my legs and he pushes a finger inside. I gasp, not really expecting it. “Gosh…” I whimper.

He chuckles before removing his hand. “Are you ready?”

I nod quickly. I’m ready for everything he wants to do to me.

The sting I feel a moment later is completely different from the spanks he gives me with his hands. “What?” I moan.

“I didn’t tell you to speak.” Whatever he’s using collides once more against my skin and I tingle all over. “Now, I want you to think about this every single time you feel the need to sink your nails into those pretty little hands.” He spanks me quickly in succession, taking my breath away, making me squirm.

His teeth find my shoulder and he slaps me again with the unidentified object. I’m sure I’m about to come without even being stimulated. I’m moaning aloud, not even caring about keeping my voice down. I really don’t care if the entire world hears.

Whatever he’s using is almost better than his hands.

“One last time, then I’m going to fuck you against this wall. Okay?”

“Yes, please!”

The object comes down swiftly and lightly between my legs, the pleasure is so intense that I fall over the edge. My legs become gelatin underneath me and I almost collapse. Jughead wraps his arms around me and holds me up, his face buried against my neck. I’m trembling and gasping for air. My hands squeezed against his wrists.

“Oh my God, oh my God…” I mutter under my breath. “What was that?”

He chuckles and kisses my neck. “We’ll talk later. I’m not over with you yet.”

I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive this time. He pushes my hands against the wall, spreads my legs once again and then he’s inside me. I gasp. He doesn’t wait for me to get accostumed, I’m so ready that he doesn’t need to. He sets a quick pace, overwhelming me. My lips are almost raw from how much I’ve bitten into them but I don’t have anymore voice left inside me.

“You feel good. Do you believe me, Betts?”

I nod, unable to speak.

“I don’t care about anybody else. You obliterated my past experiences.” He groans into my ear.

He hugs me to himself, his chest glued to my back. He becomes tender in the movements and I suddenly feel like crying.

“I love you, I’ve never loved anyone before in my life.”

I don’t know how he’s able to be coherent enough to speak. “L-love you t-too.” I stutter.

He turns my head sideways, his lips find mine and we engage in a messy kiss that combined with his deep thrusting, sends me over the edge for the second time.

He follows right after, biting my bottom lip. He drags me toward the mattress, and we collapse onto it... chests heaving deeply. He covers us and he curls against me, his face nestled against my neck.

“I love you. That was… _intense…_ ” I murmur.

“Every time you want to hurt yourself think about that. And tell me.” He’s still out of breath.

I bite my lip. “Do we have to do that only when I don’t feel good?”

He laughs quietly, turning me toward him. “We can do that every time you want to.”

“Am I disturbed? For liking it?”

“I don’t think so, no. At the very least we’re both disturbed… We’ve found each other.” He murmurs brushing his mouth against mine. “But I don’t think we are.”

I smile into the kiss. “Okay. Okay…”

“And Betts… I’m sorry for not telling you…”

“It’s okay… Really.”

“Why is it so simple for you to forgive?”

“I’ve always been like this. Even with my mother… every time she did or say something wrong, I’d always find a way to think the best of her. At the beginning, at least. I didn’t want to believe I meant nothing to her…”

He hugs me tight. “You mean everything to me…”

I smile into his chest, trying to forget everything that’s happened in this godforsaken day.

"Jug? What was that thing you used instead of your hands?" I ask through a yawn."

"Oh!" He laughs. "A ruler I found earlier today. Was it too much?"

"No... Take it with you, tomorrow…"

"I will, don't worry."

I smile and close my eyes.

“I’ll help you get better…” I hear him murmur into my ear before falling asleep.  



	21. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty decides it's time to inform the group about the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a lighter chapter after the last one. Expect some sexy talk!

We leave right before lunch time. There’s still some snow but it’s not impossible to walk. It’s cold... however the sun is high up in the sky and I can’t help but take it all in.  
No one has really spoken to me beside Jughead and Sweet Pea. The others are all quiet with somber looks on their faces. The first thing Jughead did when we left the house was scowl at the girls and Kevin; since then none of them has spoken a single word.  
It is kinda uncomfortable, but I can’t say I feel bad for them. I’m sure things will get back to normal.  
Jughead hasn’t let my hand go ever since we stepped foot outside, making me feel all giddy inside.  
The past night has been amazing, _literally!_ I’m still tingling all over and thinking about what we did makes me blush from head to toe. My bottom still smarts but it’s not unbearable. As a matter of fact, it reminds me of how good he made me feel.

I bite my lip, looking up at him. He’s concentrated on his steps, the scowl still very much present on his face. He’s so attractive that I’m not sure how I’ll be able to resist touching him at all during these days of walking.

He woke me up at some point after falling asleep. He woke me up with kisses and a wandering hand that made me see stars in a matter of minutes. I reciprocated, doing something I never did but still enjoying it. I touched him, with his help, and made him see stars too. I felt so empowered that I woke up this morning feeling so much better. If it weren’t for the bandages I’d probably have already forgotten about yesterday’s events.

“What are you thinking about?” He inquires, probably noticing my far away look and flushed face. There’s a smirk on his mouth that I would very much love to smack away at the moment.

“You know… _things_.” I cite myself from the very first time he asked me that question.

His eyes sparkle with mischief and he keeps going. “What kind of things?"

I look around us, trying to figure out if any of his friends are listening to us. Deeming it safe to talk, I lean toward him and say the exact same thing I did that time. “ _The kind of things I’ve never done…_ ”  
  
He growls silently under his breath. “Things you know how to do now then!”

“Do I know everything?” I ask innocently.

He heaves a breath. “Don’t temp me _and_ don’t think that just because we’re in their company I won’t be taking you away and fuck you senseless.”

I shiver at the idea. “Stop it.”

He smirks. “That’s what you get for teasing me.”

“Okay, okay… Let’s call it a truce!”

He shakes his head and laughs quietly. “Yeah, let’s try not to get lost. You’re too much of a temptation.”

“How many days will we need to walk?” Sweet Pea asks panting.

Jughead turns toward him. “Why? Already tired?”

“Yeah, kinda!”

“We’re going to stop and eat in a little while. The first cabin should be half a day away but the map at the store showed an agglomeration of cabins a bit further away. Rangers used to stay there during their time spent in the forest. I believe that’s what we’re looking for. There could be even food.”

“Alright… Did you take the map with you?” Pea asks.

Jughead takes something out of his pocket, waving it around. “What do you think? No one has to know about those cabins.”

“We could all have our own house…” Kevin mumbles. “How many are there?”

I almost hear Jug’s teeth grind together. He doesn’t answer.

“Oh, come on! Are you still not talking to us? Really?”

One moment Jug is beside me, the next he's face to face with Kevin. Furious. “Jug…” I call him.

“You don’t know half the things she’s been through and you don’t even need to know. If I tell you not to talk to me, it means you don’t have to talk to me. What don’t you understand?”

Kevin takes a step back frowning before he looks at me. “I’m sorry Betty for saying this but… Jughead, you’ve known her for a month. We’ve been on the road together for a long time now… Shouldn’t you be a little bit more understanding?”

My stomach sinks.

“Kevin, stop.” Toni scolds him just as Veronica tugs him back. “You need to shut up…”

“What? It’s true-”

“She means more to me than anyone else in the entire world.” Jughead interrupts him. “That’s all you need to know.”

“Jug…” I murmur. “It’s time to tell them all… We can’t keep going on like this.”

“Tell us what?” Cheryl asks.

“No, Betty.” He’s scowling at me now. “We need to move, now.”

“Jughead!” I snap. “Stop it!”

He freezes and turns to look at me.

“They didn’t do anything, alright? There was alcohol involved and they were having fun… I felt humiliated but let’s end this cold war okay? I’m tired of this negativity.”

“Betts…” He murmurs and I scowl too.

They’re all staring at us mouth agape and silent.

“Alright… Let’s tell the others. But you…” He says turning back toward them, “Don’t say a fucking thing about this. No jokes, no skepticism. Nothing.”

“Guys… you don’t have-” Toni tries to say before Cheryl hushes her.

“Let them talk, T!”

I bite my lip and look at him. I know he’s trying to read me, to see if I’m really sure about this… I nod and smile. _I’m okay,_ I want to say.  
  
“We’re soulmates.” Jughead mutters.

Sweet Pea snorts and almost chokes at Jug’s glare. “Yeah you’re pretty attached to the hip!”

“They’re serious…” Veronica says for us. “I had one too, once. Before I met you, Kev. He didn’t make it… and it hurts every single day…”

They all turn to look at her. Jug too. Sweet Pea frowns and Cheryl sighs. “What do you mean exactly with _Soulmates_?”  
  
“I mean exactly what the word means. Toni confirmed and Veronica brought Betty the proof…”

“How do you know?” Kevin asks. “I didn’t even know something like that could exist…”

“We have the same mark… Which we won’t show you. It’s personal.”

“Damn, now I understand why you can’t stay away from each other!” Fangs exclaims. “This is so cool!”

I laugh quietly. “It is… but it’s also quite scaring sometimes… We’re still working on not panicking when we’re not in the same breathing air. It’s hard and irrational but… We’re going to get used to this.”

Toni smiles and lets go of Cheryl’s hand to take a few steps toward me. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I’m sure Jug has already told you it meant nothing but… I shouldn’t have. It just slipped and… I regret it.”

“And I regret wanting to gossip about it…” Veronica apologizes.

“It’s okay you guys… Please, can we pretend nothing happened now?”

Jughead snorts but gets back beside me, taking my hand. “Let’s move. We’ve made peace but now we need to find a place where we can stop and eat. Then we won’t take any more pauses. We need to reach that first cabin and bunk for the night.”

“I still can’t believe this…” Kevin mutters to himself scratching his neck. “It’s so irrational!”

We all laugh, beside Jug. He just snorts and rolls his eyes.

We’re okay now. I just need to find a way to let things roll off my back. That’s my next goal.

*** 

We’re taking some time to relax after lunch, hidden by the bushes.

“Hey, girl… can we talk?” Veronica startles me. Jughead stops munching on his stick of dried meat to look at her.

“You can go, Jug.” I murmur.

He huffs but stands up. “I’ll go talk with Pea and Fangs.”

“Thanks… Love you.”

He leans down, kissing my lips. “Love you.”

I look back at Veronica. “You can sit…”

“How are you?”

“Good. Thanks… you?”

“I’m holding up… Listen, I wanted to apologize one more time… I know how hard it can be sometimes, I just hope we can be friends.”

I smile. “I’m not very good with people but… with time I know I’ll be able to let you in and be your friend.”

She hugs me. “I’m glad. I miss having a friend to talk to…”

“I never really had a friend…”

She looks at me, sadly. “Your life was miserable… It’s going to get better now. You have us, and Jughead!”

I blush, smiling slightly. “He’s so good to me…”

“I remember, how it was with Archie… The deep passion and love and satisfaction…”

“Yeah… It’s… _intense_!”

She smirks. “Is he really that good?”

My cheeks burn. “Yeah. He knows what he’s doing and… he lets me experiment. I know very little about _sex_ and he's always so patient.”

She chuckles nudging me with her elbow. “You seem relaxed today!”

“Oh, stop it! I don’t think I can get any redder!” I exclaim.

“You’re so cute when you get flustered! Anyway… if you need advices, I’m here for you!”

“Thanks… I’m okay for now. He’s a good teacher actually…”

She laughs loudly, attracting everyone’s attention. She stops and scowls. “Mind your business! Nosy parkers!”

Cheryl rolls her eyes and moves toward us. She sits beside Veronica. “So, Betty! I’m glad you’re okay… I didn’t mean to start that mess the other night…”

“You couldn’t know Cheryl… It’s okay, really. I don’t want any more apologies!”

She laughs rolling a lock of hair around one of her fingers. “I’m curious though… how does it feel to have a soulmate?”

I take a moment to think about it. I’m not sure I have the words to explain but I’m going to try anyway.

“It's… overwhelming. It feels like a flame is burning inside of me and he’s the only one able to extinguish the fire. It’s irrational… my mind fights against the concept. If I hadn’t the proof on me I probably wouldn’t believe it.”

“I’m not sure how I would take this thing…" She says. “I mean… doesn’t it feel like loosing part of your independence?”

I shake my head. “No. It’s hard to stay away from one another, I can’t say otherwise but… I’m still me. I still use my head and I still make decisions. And it’s the same for him.”

“I want to assure you that it’s going to get easier after a while…” Veronica murmurs. “It’ll take some time but… you’ll be able to do things on your own without going out of your mind, I promise.”

I look down and bite my lip. I can’t believe she’s lost her soulmate… I don’t even want to think about the possibility. I would love to ask her what happened, but I don’t think we’re there yet.

Cheryl pats her shoulder before standing up. “I’m going back to my T. I’m so glad you brought me with you, Betty. I wouldn’t have met her… She might not be my soulmate but I don’t think I need a mark on my skin to believe she’s going to be my better half for as long as she wants me…”

“I’m sure she’ll have you for a long time…” I smile. “And I’m glad you’ve found her.”

“We’re pretty cute together! Aren’t we? The perfect couple!” She gushes almost jumping on the spot.

“Can I have my woman back?” Jug’s grumbling voice comes from behind her. She twirls around, almost whipping him in the face with her long hair.

“You can have her back, _Romeo_.”

He rolls his eyes and Veronica laughs. “It’s nice to not see you moping or scowling! Love does you good! I mean… if only you could take down your protectivness a notch we wouldn’t be scared to death to say the wrong thing!”

He takes her place beside me and sneaks an arm around my waist, gluing us together. “Sorry, V. It’s how it is!”

She snorts. “You’re whipped.” She leaves us there, together and finally relaxed enough. No more secrets. They all know.

“I’m glad we’ve told them.” He says almost readying my mind.

“Why is that?”

He smirks, kissing my neck. “They’ll understand If I take you away from the group when I feel the _urgent need_ to bury myself inside of you. We can’t stay away from each other after all!”

I slap him soundly even though I have goosebumps all over. “That’s not going to happen. Not in the open and especially not now that they know! I prefer to keep it private and… We’re not rabbits!”

He laughs. “We’ll see. I’m sure I know how to change your mind…”

“Oh my gosh you’re insatiable!”

“You’re just so… _hot_!”

“What has gotten into you?” I ask him suspiciously.

He shrugs but I think I’m starting to understand him now. “You want to piss them off, don’t you?”

He blinks his long lashes at me. “Me? What are you talking about? I could never!”

I push him hard making him fall on his back. Everyone laughs and Cheryl woops. I blush but smile. I feel okay, finally. They know and I couldn’t be any more relieved.  
Jughead takes me by surprise when he drags me down with him and kisses me in front of everyone. The kiss is passionate and dirty, but I don’t really care about them seeing now. I want to enjoy this moment. I push him away a moment later, blushing to the roots but unable to decrease the intensity of my smile. I love him and I don’t want to hold back anymore.  



	22. Optimism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The path seems to be getting a little bit easier for the group. Betty starts getting excited at the thought of what's going to happen in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll find some MATURE CONTENT in this chapter too.

It’s cold as fuck even though we are all appropriately dressed now. The night has fallen already but Jughead doesn’t want to stop until he finds the first cabin, so we’re actually following an old path half covered by the snow that according to the map should bring us to the location.

“We should be almost there.” He says loudly. His voice is trembling, he must be feeling the cold too.

“You said that already!” Cheryl snaps.

“Half an hour ago! And I said I believed we were on the right track, not that we were almost there!” He growls back.

I take his hand in mine, squeezing lightly. Bob has been our silent companion this all trip. He has become fond of Sweet Pea in such a way that I’m not sure I should be jealous or not. I believe he’s going to be our dog now, not just mine. He has barely barked since we left the houses, running around and disappearing in heaps of snow, making us all laugh out loud. And maybe now he has caught on our somber moods because he’s walking beside Sweet Pea, at his pace, calm and quiet.

We keep going in silence, talking would only waste our energies and we’d risk to lose sight of the path.  
I’m not sure he’s right but I hope he is. Stopping here would only bring us to our premature death.

“There…” He says quietly so that I’m the only one to hear. “My eyes are crossing with this cold. Do you think it’s that thing?”

I squint, trying to see in the darkness. The moon is almost full, but the shadows are making a number on all of us. Still, behind a group of trees I can distinguish the silhouette of something that looks like a small house. “Yeah, Jug.”

He heaves deeply, quickening his pace.

“Where are you going now?” Veronica huffs.

“If you’re being shortsighted, I don’t know what to tell you. The cabin is right there.” He points out not slowing down.

“Finally! I knew you weren’t leading us to our death! You all are very little optimistic of our leader’s abilities of guiding us to safety!” Toni exclaims. The sarcasm is evident but Jug snorts and keeps going. Bob barks once and wiggles his tail.

*** 

The cabin is small but it’s sturdy enough for us to spend the night. It’s better than staying outside in the open with this cold.

“There’s a fireplace. We need to warm the place up a bit…” Jughead says while we spread our plaids out on the ground.

“I’m up to it.” Fangs volunteers. Let’s hope the wood is dry enough.

Everyone huddles-up in a corner while me and Jughead stay a little to the side, on our own. The dog is already curled up by the fireplace; I envy his ability to fall asleep instantly.  
The fire is not big, but it breaks the cold air of the room, thankfully. Kevin and Fangs sit together in front of it shoulder to shoulder, while they talk quietly among themselves. It’s nice to see.

“Come here…” Jug murmurs once we’re settled under the covers. I snuggle against him, trying to share as much body heat as we can. “Take off your pants.”

I snap my eyes open. “Jug-”

“They won’t see a thing, we need to get warm or we’re going to get sick.” He shuffles around, trying to push his pants and socks down all at once. I do the same, hesitantly.

“What will the others think?”

“They’re not even paying attention to us, Betts. Don’t worry.” He hugs me tightly to himself, legs intertwined together. I’m shivering but the contact is helping me. I wish I could shred all my clothes like I did when we were back at the Shopping Center.

“What are we gonna do tomorrow?” Toni asks after a while.

“We’re leaving right after breakfast. We need to find those cabins… The risk of getting sick in this weather is very high and we won’t be able to sleep into a cabin tomorrow night. We’ll have to find cover somewhere else.” Jug answers her.

“It’s going to get pretty cold.” Kevin adds. “Maybe we could search the cabin in the morning… Look for something useful.”

“Good idea. For now, let’s sleep. Stay close together…” He advises before burying his face into my hair. His hands sneak under all the layers of shirts I have on and start brushing up and down my back.  
  
I get goosebumps all over. “I can’t wait to get there…” I murmur into his neck.

“Me too. We’re going to settle down and start a life. You’ll see, Betts. It’s going to be perfect.”

I smile and look up at him. “It’s been a while since the last earthquake. I’m scared... What if once we’ve put our guards down it comes back to take everything away from us?”

“We can’t know Betty, and we can’t even hold our breath forever waiting for the other shoe to drop. I want to live my life with you at its fullest. For as long as I can. Let’s try to not think about what could come… Maybe it’s settling down, the earth I mean. Maybe mother nature deems her planet safe enough for now. I want you to think positively. Alright?”

“I’ll try…” I sniffle.

One of his hands settles on my mark and he keeps it there. “How do you feel?”

“Tired but better. I’m not as cold anymore.”

“What about your other _problem_?” He whispers into my ear.

“I’m okay. Promise.”

I look up at him. He’s smiling, eyes almost shining in the darkness. “I’m glad and I love you.”

I kiss his mouth and deepen it. I know we’re not alone, but I need the contact. His hand plays with the edge of my panties and I squeeze my legs together. “No. Jug-”

“Sssh.” He interrupts me still whispering. “Do you trust me?”  
  
I bite my lip, looking up toward the others. Their breath is heavy, and no one is looking at us. “I do… But-”  
  
“Just… Try to keep quiet. You’ll feel much warmer after.”

I nod slowly, still unsure about this but so turned on that I don’t think I can say no. I want it too much.

He turns me a little on my back and moves one of my legs so that he can sneak his hand inside my panties without much effort.

His mouth leaves light kisses all over my neck and I close my eyes when his fingers go straight to that nub I’m starting to love so fucking much. He slowly starts to roll it and I bite his shoulder to keep myself from moaning. It feels so good and the fact that we’re doing this in a room full of people sends a thrill down my back that makes me want it all the more.  
He doesn’t quicken the pace at the beginning. He maintains a slow and teasing rhythm, sometimes pinching, sometimes dragging his pointer finger at the entrance to gather some of my liquids. I’m boiling inside and being silent is becoming every minute a little bit more difficult.  
I almost jump out of my skin when he pushes both fingers inside of me leaving his thumb pressed firmly against my clit. I feel him smirk against the skin of my neck and I’d probably have slapped him if I wasnn’t so fucking lost in the pleasure he’s making me feel.  
Then he starts moving his hand at a quicker pace, his fingers stroking something inside of me that is so sensitive to the touch that I almost faint. He doesn’t relent, only hastening the speed and sending me over the edge just a second later.  
I bite his shoulder so hard that I’m sure he’s going to sport a bruise for a very long time. At least I was able to keep quiet.  
His hand is still between my legs while I’m savoring the aftershocks of a fucking awesome orgasm, trembling against his body. I feel _him_ then, hard, moving against my hip.

“Let me help…” I whisper.

He takes my hand quickly and puts it inside his boxers. I almost moan at the contact. _Almost_.  
It doesn’t take much for him to come. He's so turned on by what he did to me that in a matter of minutes he shakes against me, face pressed into my neck and arms wrapped tightly around my body. “Thank you.” He says in a barely there whisper.

I smile and kiss him. “I love you.”

He holds my wrist and drags my hand away from inside his boxers. “I’m sorry for the mess…”

“It’s okay…”

He sits, retrieving his backpack and fetching a rag. He cleans my hand, making me blush, then he rejoins me under the covers. Pressed together as we are, the coldness of the room is almost unperceivable.  
  
“Sleep. Now.”

“Yes, _Sir._ ” I know how he feels when I call him that.

His chest rumbles against my back and I smirk. Serves him right for teasing me this much in front of everyone. _Payback is a bitch._

*** 

There’s not much we can take with us in the cabin. One positive thing though is that we’ve found a new map and it seems like the trek to the other cabins isn’t as long as we imagined.

“If we leave right away, we should be able to get there by night. I know it’s going to be hard but it’s our only option.” Jughead says while he inspects the map.

Kevin is leaning against Fangs, still half asleep but he nods in agreement. “I don’t want to spend the night in the open. There could be bears or wolves… We’ve been lucky so far…”

“Famous last words! If we meet any of those animals, I know who to kill for being a Grim Reaper!” Cheryl snaps annoyed.

I laugh quietly but I can’t help but agree with her. “We’ll be okay. Can we leave now?”

Jug looks at me and smiles. Now that I know the cabins are right there for us to take, I can’t contain my excitement. We’re going to settle down, each one of us will have a place to live in. We could collect snow and rain and hunt in the wild. I can’t wait.

“Let’s go! Come on guys, let’s pack everything up. Don’t leave anything behind and Sweet Pea, make sure to cover our tracks. We don’t want anyone following us.”

“On it, boss.”

We start gathering our things before stepping outside. Fangs and Sweet Pea are covering the tracks we’ve left the past night under Bob’s intelligent gaze.

Toni sidles me, smiling. “Hey.”

“Hey, Toni.”

“You okay?”

“Perfect. I can’t wait to get there… We’ll get to live. Aren’t you excited?”

She nods but frowns a little. “I am but I’m also a bit scared of stopping after all this time walking around. We’re going to be isolated from everything… What if we need something?”

“Something?” I ask her.

“Yeah I mean… our medicines won’t last forever. What are we going to do if one of us gets sick? Or if we break a bone? I had many encounters with ugly wounds while I was in the gang but… Am I capable enough?” She’s rambling now, full on panic attack. I know she’s right but she needs to be positive.

I put my hands on her shoulders, making her look at me. “Toni, we can’t know what’s going to happened. Jug told me so the other night. We’re going to live in Rangers cabins. I’m sure there are First Aid kits and instructions of all kinds… You’ll see! Don’t think too far ahead.”

She heaves a deep breath and closes her eyes. “You’re right. My fears got the best of me.”

“Fears will be our best friends for a long time, I believe. We just need to lean on each other and as much as the thought scares me, we will be a family. A concept that is strange to me since I’ve never really had one to begin with… All I know is that we’re going to be okay.”

She nods, determination settling in her eyes. “You’re good at dispensing advices. Way better than Jughead.”

“He’s good too. He has really helped me step out of my _comfort zone_. If that’s the right term to call my little bubble.”

She smiles and bumps her shoulder against mine. “You’re good to him too. He’s still sulky most of the time but he’s softer. You’ve smoothed out most of his sharp edges…”

“Killing Elio did a number on him…” I murmur and watch as he exits the cabin with the new upgraded map. His eyes meet mine and he frowns, questioningly. I shrug, smiling, letting him know everything’s okay.

“He did what he had to do. He always has. I know I like to give him shit but… He kept us all alive since we were barely teenagers. We owe him our lives.”

My eyes sting at the thought. I clear my throat. “He has a big heart… I can’t wait to start living my life with him. We can’t think about timing in this world, don’t you think? I want to make the best of the time we have and we should all do it…”

She hugs me, surprising me. “Thank you, Betty. For forgiving me, for helping me right now and… for Cheryl. She’s the best thing I could ever ask for in this fucked up world.”

“We stumbled upon her, we couldn’t have left her even if we tried… She’s something else. Maybe it was destiny, who knows…”

We’re interrupted by Jug’s clapping hands. “It’s time to move. The tracks have been covered. The cabins are waiting for us!”

We all laugh happily, and Bob barks jumping on his hindlegs. “Good boy!” I call him. He trudges toward me and licks my hand before sniffling Toni’s legs, making her snort.

Jughead joins us and takes my hand. Toni throws her arms around his shoulders, startling him and making me giggle. “What was that for?” He asks once she leaves to go back to Cheryl. “Did she prank me? Do I have something on my back?”

I snort and hold back a laugh. “No, Jug. She’s just grateful of everything you did for her… That was her _Thank You_.”

He frowns and shrugs. “Whatever. Let’s keep going, lazy people!”

He drags me away, followed by Bob that for once decides to stay with me. Maybe the fact that Sweet Pea is too busy covering the tracks we live behind has him cowering back to his first owner. I’m not sure if I should be offended or not but I let it go, shaking my head in disbelief.

“What is it?” Jughead asks me.

“Bob is a little shit.” I laugh looking down at him. “Aren’t you?” He lowers his ears and yips. “You’re too cute to get mad to.”

“Sweet Pea's always had a penchant for dogs. And dogs always had a penchant for him. Hot Dog was at his trailer almost everyday... I still resent him for that!”

“Hot Dog?”

“Yeah, my dog.”

“You called your dog hot dog?” I snort.

“Hey! I was little when my father brought him home and I loved hot dogs! Give me some slack!” He grumbles.

I lay my head on his shoulder. “I find it adorable, Jug.”

We fall silent. The birds are chirping, the sound is always very comforting. As long as the animals are making noises and running around everything’s fine. I really hope it's going to keep getting better.  



	23. Howl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The need to get to their safe heaven is all they can think about. That and getting there all in one piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT at the end of the chapter.

As we get deeper into the forest the snow gradually starts to get thicker. The sun doesn’t have its magical power underneath the heavy branches of the pines and the late afternoon air is particularly cold.  
Bob seems to be the only one who's having fun, unbothered by the snow. We’ll have to collect it for sure so that we can start boiling water and get properly washed. I’m so tired of being dirty! And I know they all are.

“I hope the cabins are furnished somehow… Can you imagine? A bed, a kitchen… A home, Juggie!”

He smiles fondly at me. “I hope too Betts, but right now all I can think about is getting out of this snow.”

“Do you think we’ll be able to get there within the day?” Kevin asks interrupting us.

“I don’t know guys… I hope so. Thankfully the trees are signed. Are you still covering the tracks, Sweet Pea?”

“Yep!” He huffs. “I’ve found the perfect way to keep up with you guys!”

We stop and turn toward him. He’s dragging a big pine branch behind himself and he’s using it to erase our traces. “You’re very cleaver Pea. Very, very cleaver!”

“Yeah! I know! Can we move though? I’m dreaming those cabins!”

*** 

The path is becomes a bit more difficult to follow with every step we take foreward, it’s slippery and it’s obviously not a valley. Sometimes the ground is steep and we need to use every ounce of our energy not to collapse on the spot.

“I hate this!” Veronica exclaims. “I hate this so very much! Couldn’t we choose some other place? Like the beach? An abandoned lighthouse or something?!”

“V, this is safer. We just need to settle down! I’m sure there’s a stream somewhere… In the summer we could wash our clothes and bath. We’ll have food. We can collect water for the winter… It’s perfect for us!” Cheryl tells her reassuringly.

She pants a little before agreeing with her. “If only it weren’t so damn exhausting getting there!”

I smile holding tighter onto Jug’s hand. The images that Cheryl provided are perfect. I want that so much I can almost taste it.

A deep howling stops us on our tracks. We freeze exactly were we are and hold our breath.

“Holy fucking shit!” Cheryl snaps as quietly as she can. “Kevin I’m going to kill you! That’s what I’m going to do!”

She hurls herself at him, both falling into the snow. Toni reacts instantly and Fangs jumps to Kevin’s rescue right away.

“Guys! Stop!” Jughead shouts. We shouldn’t be making all this ruckus if there’s a wolf in our proximity but they don’t seem to be able to detach Cheryl from our unfortunate friend.

The only thing Jughead can do is grab Cheryl from her waist and drag her away with force. “Stop!” He seethes.

She snaps her eyes at him startled by his voice, everyone falling silent.

“This isn’t a fucking joke! If there’s a wolf around here we need to move! Not fighting each other! What has gotten into you!?” He asks her.

“He was the harbinger of doom! _He_ brought us back luck!”

“Cheryl.” He growls. “We’re in a fucking forest. We were meant to have encounters with wolves at some point. Kevin has nothing to do with this.”

“Come on Cher.” Toni murmurs taking her hand. “We need to go and find those cabins. The night is fast approaching.”

Her words seem to calm Cheryl down a bit and she nods. “Sorry Kev.”

He shrugs but doesn’t open his mouth. Fangs has a protective arm around his shoulder and I can’t help but smile. They’re going to get together at some point, I know it.

“Now.” Jughead mutters. “We need to stay together. Bob will probably alarm us if something is approaching… Let’s keep moving.”

My heart is beating so fast that I’m scared it’s going to explode. Jug takes my hand and walks faster, keeping his eyes on the marked trees. We need to follow the red stripes painted on the trunks and at some point we should be able to reach our destination.

“Jug…” I call him quietly, my voice trembling. “I’m scared.”

“Don’t be.” He squeezes my hand and looks at the other one. I immediately open my fingers. “It’s going to be okay, love.”

I nod quickly but my mind can’t help but go into dark places. What if it isn’t a lone wolf? What if it’s a pack? How can we possibly defend each other?

“Betts…”

I look up at him, “Mmh?”

“It’s going to be okay.”

I blink back the tears, trying really hard to believe him.

“The howling seemed far away.” Veronica says quietly.

“We can’t know for sure… We need to hurry up now.” Jug says with finality.

He doesn’t let go of my hand once.

*** 

It’s dark. The only light we can count on is a little torch we found inside the last cabin and the moonlight. We’re exactly in the same situation we were last night but with a wolf probably chasing us and far more snow.  
I’m doing my very best to keep my fingers open and not sink the nails into my palms. I keep reminding myself of what Jughead did to me that dreadful night, how good he made me feel… how good it felt. I just need to hold on a little bit longer and once we're on our own I know he’s going to help me.

“Talk to me…” I whisper. “I’m slipping, Jug. I’m so scared that I’m barely holding on.”

“Betty, please… Don’t go there.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“You’re beautiful?”

I snort back a watery laugh. “Stop it.”

“I find your curves so alluring. I love your hips and your legs… I love your body. It’s perfect.”

I find it hard to believe. After years and years of being belittled by my own mother about my physical aspect I’m not very good at accepting compliments.

“Don’t you believe me?”

“I do when I see how you look at me but… in these moments it’s difficult for me…”

“I’ll make you believe me as soon as we reach the cabins… I’ll make you forget every single one of your doubts.”

“Is that a promise?”

“It is.”

I blush even though I’m sure the others are minding their own business. They have their preoccupations too, I’m not the only one with a wondering mind.  
Another howling resounds around the forest, sending us all into a frenzy. Bob doesn’t seem to be worried, that’s the only thing keeping me relatively sane. I’m sure that if there was an animal approaching he wouldn’t be this calm and relaxed.

“My legs are killing me…” Veronica almost cries. I hear the desperation in her voice.

“I’m sorry V, can you hold on a little bit longer?” Jughead asks her not slowing down.

“Do I have any other choice?”

“I don’t think so… I’m sorry.”

“What does the map say?” Fangs asks while he helps Sweet Pea.

“To follow the red stripes. We’ve been walking since this morning… We shouldn’t be far.”

The tears start falling down my face before I even realize I’m going to cry. I’m exhausted, my legs are trembling, and I’m scared for us. We’re so close to our safe heaven that I’m terrified we won’t be able to get there.

“Don’t cry!” Jughead pleads wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “Please…”

“Let her cry!” Cheryl snaps. “She’s exhausted and scared! We all are! If my tear ducts weren’t frozen over I’d be crying too!”

“There! There! Guys!” Kevin exclaims as loudly as he can. We all jerk our heads forward and there they are. A group of beautiful cabins covered in moss and big enough to be considered homes.

We run then, falling many times and getting wet but unconcerned about the consequences because we are finally here. They’re beautiful. The roof is pointed, its sides reaching the ground and the windows are well protected by wood planks. The snow has covered part of the entrances but everything looks perfect and uninhabitated.

We’re all crying now, almost. Sweet Pea sniffles as he covers our last tracks and joins us in front of one of the cabins. Kevin is sobbing, his head leaned against Fangs shoulder and the girls are full on crying, me included.

“How are w-we g-going to g-et in?” Veronica tries to say through her sobs.

“I know how to unlock a door…” I murmur.

They all stare at me, Jug too.

“What?” I snap. “My father taught me how to do that before he left us.”

I walk to the door, freeing it by the snow with Jug’s help. I take one of the bobby pins from my backpack and start to pick at the lock. It doesn’t take long, thankfully, and I can’t help but whoop when I hear it unlock under my ministration.  
We open the door with some difficulty but once inside I can finally breathe. It’s stuffy and moldy but I don’t care. The cabins are furnished. There’s a couch right in front of the fireplace, a small kitchen and an open space second floor where the sleeping quarters seem to be. There are two other small doors to the side but we’re too tired to look right now.  
I’m still crying like a baby, but these are happy tears now. We’re safe.  
I nestle myself into Jug’s arms. He presses his cheek against my forehead. He’s crying too. I kiss him deeply, not caring about our friends because they’re all wrapped around each other too. “I want our own cabin…”

He moves back a little so that he’s able to look into my eyes. “Now?”

“I need to. I-I don’t want to lose control… I can’t. Not now, Jug.”

He frowns, drying my cheeks. “Aren’t you happy?”

“So fucking much! It’s just that… I have too many thoughts inside my head now and I’m slowly spiraling out of control. I can feel it. _I need you, please_.” I whimper.

He nods quickly. “Okay. Let’s go.”

He takes my hand, moving toward the door. Bob is sitting in front of it.

“Where are you guys going?” Kevin asks through the tears.

“I-” Jughead starts before stopping. “We need to be on our own. It’s… hard to explain…”

Veronica quickly rushes over and engulfs us both into a hug. “Go, take care of one another…”

“Can you keep an eye on Bob? I’ll take him back in the morning…” I ask her as she holds onto my shoulders a little longer.

“I love Bob. He’s our mascot now! Our responsibility… not just yours, okay?”

I smile gratefully and lean down to scratch my dog behind his ears. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Come on, we need to pick a cabin…” Jughead pushes me urgently. We say our goodnights and recommend that they lock the door with something before we step outside.

We choose one of the cabins a bit further away from the one we've just left. The interiors are a copy carbon of the first one.  
We let our backpack fall, block the door and immediately start to kiss. He pushes me against it roughly, attaching his mouth to my neck and holding my hands up over my head.  
I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t even feel the cold. “Undress me, please. Undress me now.” I whimper.

That’s all he needs to hear. He pushes my pants down while I throw my boots to the side. The rest of my clothing gets thrown away and a moment later he has my front pushed against the door.

“Keep one of your hands up over your head.” He growls. I comply right away.

I hear his trousers fall to the ground before he’s once again pressed all over me. His excitement hard against my bottom. “Touch yourself with the other hand and count. Every slap, I want to hear you count them all.”

I moan at the thought and do what he says. I push my fingers against my clit and start playing with it at a quick pace.  
His hand comes down on my butt cheek a second later, taking my breath away. “O-one.” I moan loudly.

He does it again and again and again until I get to ten, then I almost collapse on the ground from the intense need boiling low into my belly.

“I want you. Plea-”

He pushes inside me, interrupting my pleading. It feels so good that I can’t utter a single word. All I can do is push back against him and let him guide. My hand is still pushed against my nub but I can’t really keep up with the pace he’s keeping so I’m just holding it there.

“You are so hot. So beautiful.” He growls into my ear before he closes his teeth on my earlobe. His hand comes down against my butt cheek one more time, making me see every damn constellation of the galaxy. It feels so fucking good this time that I almost pass out when I come. The orgasm so intense that I keep shaking for a long time even after I feel him soften inside of me.

His breath is warm against my skin and we both sink on the ground right over our clothes. I can’t stop shaking, the aftershocks still wreaking havoc all over my body from head to toe.

“Was that okay?” He pants when he has regained the ability to speak.

“M-more than okay!”

He turns me around, slipping from inside of me. “Let’s go see the bed. The sun is going to rise very soon…”

I suddenly feel the weight of the long day we have finally left behind our shoulders. The difficult trek, the fear of being mauled by a pack of wolves and lose the man that I love, being constantly wet… “Can’t we light a fire and sleep in front of it?”

“I’ll light it right away. Get dressed with something dry in the meantime.”

“You should too.” I murmur kissing his cheek.

“I will as soon as the fire is ready.”

“I love you…” I whisper, feeling suddenly very small in comparison to the love growing inside my chest.

“Me too.” He smiles. “We’re here, Betts. We’re here. We can stop moving now.”

“Yes, Juggie. We can.”


	24. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cabins are everything they need. They all start to realize that this could be their forever life and everyone's spirit gets lifted. Jughead and Betty talk about what they want from the future.

The cabin is perfect. As tired as we are we’re unable to fall asleep right away, too wound up to try and relax.  
We’re laying on the dusty couch, covered by our plaids and wrapped around each other. I’m happy. I was able to control the need to hurt myself… Maybe I’m going to get better after all.  
The sun is almost up, we didn’t realize it took so long to arrive here.

“We should sleep…” Jughead murmurs, brushing my hair back.

I smile into his chest. “I can’t… I’m tired but I don’t know why my eyes won’t close.”

“I understand what you mean… I feel as if I’ve drunk a whole liter of coffee all by myself.”

I sigh. “I miss coffee.”

“Me too but it’s one less addiction if you think about it…”

“My mother did not want me to drink it. She said coffee was the beverage of the devil. Don’t ask me why…”

He laughs and shakes his head in disbelief probably. “I won’t ever get tired of saying how crazy she was!”

“She’s dead now…” I murmur. “She doesn’t mean anything anymore.”

He’s probably startled by what I’ve just said. “That’s a first! We’re really making progresses!”

I smile and blush. “Yeah… Your help has been essential.”

“I’m glad.” He kisses my forehead.

“Can you believe it’s only been a month since we first met?”

“It seems much longer than that…”

I yawn, my eyes close on their own. “I think I might sleep now…”

“Sleep for as long as you need, love. We don’t need to be anywhere.”

*** 

Laughters wake me up some time later. Jughead is still beside me, leaned against his hand and looking down at me.

“What time is it?” I groan. The windows are still boarded-up, I can’t tell how bright the light is.

“It’s already late afternoon. The others are outside but I’m not sure what they’re doing. The idea of getting wet all over again is repulsive right now…”

I snuggle closer to his chest, basking in our little bubble for a while longer.

“Maybe we should search the place? I can’t wait to see what’s in here…”

“In a moment, Betts. You’re so soft and warm.”

I giggle when his hand squeezes my hip. “Stop… I’m still too sleepy to be tickled!”

“I was just appreciating your curves…”

I blush before sitting up. “Where do we start?”

His laugh makes me look back at him. “What?”

“Your hair could pass for a bird nest!”

“Very funny, Jug.”

I stand up taking one of the plaids with me. Our clothes are still on the floor, wet. I take them by the fire… later I’ll hang them up to dry.

“I’ll take care of those… get dressed.” He yawns and stretches on the couch before standing up stark naked.

“Maybe you should put something on too. I don’t want you to get sick.”

He goes to the backpacks and starts to take our dry clothes out. He throws mine at me and starts getting dressed. “What are you waiting for?” He mocks.

I hadn’t realized I was staring. I turn away from him quickly and put on my heavy clothes. I already feel so much better.

“I want to go look up at the sleeping quarters. Want to join me?” I ask as I climb the wooden ladder.

“You don’t have to ask me twice!”

The room looks like a little attic, there’s a normal sized bed positioned against the middle wall, by the boarded-up window. There are two skylights on the roof, one on each side and the side walls are covered by shelves full of books. I immediately run there and start looking.

“Jug! There are so many useful books! Come look!”

He’s by my side right away and together we choose which books will probably save our lives.  
  
“ _How to Stay Alive in The Woods_. This is absolutely going to be our bible.” He exclaims.

“Oh, Jug. This too! Look! _Edible Wild Plants_. It’s perfect! I knew we were going to find something like this in a ranger’s cabin!”

“There’s something about natural remedies in case of illnesses, _Wilderness Medicine_. I think we’re going to be okay Betts.”

I throw myself at him, hugging him tightly and making us fall on the ground with a thump. We’re both laughing hard when we get back up. “Let’s go look at the rest of the house.”

*** 

One of the two little doors hides a treasure. It’s an underground storage room full of canned foods and long-life drinks. I feel like crying. I’m not saying we’re good for the rest of our lives but at least we’ll be able to survive the winter. All of us. When the snow melts, we’ll be able to hunt and collect eatable plants thanks to our books. I’m so excited that I’m not sure if I want to cry or laugh or jump on the spot. I do all of that, scaring the shit out of Jughead probably. He might think I’m going out of my mind for good.

“You’re beautiful when you’re happy… I want to see that smile for the rest of my life.”

I bite my lip, trying to contain the smile that’s making my cheeks sore. “We should go share our discoveries with the others… Do you think all the cabins are furnished like this one?”

“There’s nothing telling me they won’t be. They’re all ranger’s cabins. We’ll have to go and search every single one of them.”

“I can’t wait! Let’s go look at the other door than we can go back to the others…”

The room is a little bathroom, completed with a small shower, toilette and sink with a rounded mirror over it. I look at my reflection for the first time in so long that I almost don’t recognize myself. Jughead’s reflection is beside me and I can’t help but notice how good we look together. He smiles at me, wrapping his arms around my body from behind and leaning his chin against my shoulder…

“We’re gonna be okay, Betty.”

I nod, unable to speak. I’m afraid to think this is too perfect to be real. I don’t want to think like this. Jug is right. _We’re gonna be okay._

*** 

When we leave the cabin, we find the group playing around in the snow with Bob. It’s such a domestic scene for this world now that for a moment I think I’m dreaming.

“There they are!” Cheryl exclaims arching one of her eyebrows and smirking. “How was your night?”

Our hands are intertwined together while we walk toward them. “It was perfect. Yours?” I ask her.

“We slept like the dead!”

“Did you look around the cabin before you decided to come outside and play with the snow?” Jug asks.

As if on cue a snowball lands right in his stomach. Fangs chortles at Jug’s face and hides behind Sweet Pea. “We wanted to have fun, sorry Jug.”

He shakes his head, chuckling. “It’s okay, we have all the time in the world now. We’ve found something in our cabin… Piles of books about surviving in the wilderness and an underground storage full of canned food-”

“What!?” Toni interrupts him excited. “Have we gone to heaven? Let’s go see the other cabins! I hope you have your bobby pin with you, Betts!”

“I never leave without one.” I smirk. They all scramble back inside the cabin they’ve spent the night into and we can’t help but laugh.

It's then that Bob decides to run and jump over me, make me fall. I laugh. “It’s so cold! Down Bob, down!”

Jughead pats him on his side, instantly making him turn his attention on himself. “Don’t you even think about it!” He scolds waving a finger at him. Bob sits on his hindlegs right away and bends his head to the left.

“Good boy! Now come on Betts, let’s join the others. We have eight cabins to search from top to bottom… it's going to be a long day.”

*** 

Not all cabins are stocked with food unfortunately, but the books are everywhere. We’ve also looked inside every cabinet in the kitchen and found plates, utensils, pots and even a big cauldron. The smiles won’t leave our faces.

We’re dining together around a little table, chatting, remembering the old days and planning for the future.

“I’m so glad we have a medical book!” Toni says relieved. “Now I at least know where to look if something goes wrong. For example, Pea, if you break a bone now I have everything I need to set it!”

He frowns. “Why should I break a bone?”

She rolls her eyes. “You were the one who always came to me with any kind of wound in the past. I’m not sure about the others but you and Jug sure as hell weren’t famous for being cautious!”

“Hey now!” Jug grumbles. “I did not come to you that often!”

She snorts making us all laugh. “You must have forgotten then!”

He growls something under his breath and I lean my head against his shoulder.

“So…” Cheryl almost hollers over the ruckus we’re making. “Have you decide which cabin to claim?”

“Betty and I will take the one we used last night.”

“And Sweet Pea and I will stay here, if you don’t mind.”

Cheryl shrugs and looks at Toni. “Do you have a preference?”

“No, Cher. I’ll let you choose. I don’t care as long as we have a roof over our heads…”

Everyone takes a cabin. Kevin and Fangs take one each… still unsure about their relationship it seems. It won’t take long for them to realize they’re perfectly perfect for each other.

“We could use one of the cabins as storage. We keep the food there and everyday we split it… What do you think?” Jughead proposes.  
  
We all agree.

A distant howling shuts us up. We look at one another, unsure.

“What are we gonna do about that?” I ask.

“I’d say we stay out only during day light, armed. As soon as the sun goes down, we get back inside and close everything up. I don’t think the wolf is anywhere near us, but we still need to be careful. Alright?”

“We could hunt it down!” Sweet Pea interjects.

“That’s what brought you to me every single time when we were in the gang! Your little head!” Toni snaps. “Do you think it’s simple to hunt a wolf down? In this much snow?”

“She’s right, Pea. You’d only risk to get mauled if not killed…” Veronica murmurs holding his hand. “Be reasonable.”

He huffs. “Yeah, you’re probably right… But I don’t have a little head!”

We laugh somehow entertained by their quarrel. I look up at Jug, his mouth is relaxed in a sleepy smile and his eyelids are particularly heavy. He’s tired.

I touch his cheek, making him look down at me. “Let’s go to bed?”

“Yeah, it’s already dark outside.” He murmurs. “And I’m exhausted.”

“I believe it’s time to call this a night… We should get inside our cabins before the sun goes completely down.” I say to the group surprising even myself. I usually don’t make this kind of decisions.

Jug squeezes my hand. “She’s right… Come on. Tomorrow we’ll split everything up.”

Bob follows us outside, he’ll stay in our cabin tonight. He won’t be able to come up in our room anyway. _Our room._ It’s going to be ours.

“Goodnight everybody!” Kevin shouts. We all answer back and get inside.

“Tomorrow we’ll have to clean a little and dust the sheets. We could even wash them… boil some water… There are spares into the closet by the bed-”  
  
He shuts me up with a deep kiss. His tongue soft against mine, his teeth nipping my bottom lip and his hands cupping my cheeks tenderly.  
  
He opens his eyes, they’re glistening. “What is it, Jug?”

“I can’t believe this is my life… I’m still struggling to grasp the fact that I won’t die because of my bad choices. I have you… I want everything with you, and I know it might seem rushed but… I don’t think I’m crazy when I say that going slow in a world like this is only going to make us regret things we don't do…”

“I don’t want to miss anything either…” I whisper staring at him. I’m not sure what he’s referring to but whatever it is, I know he’s right.

“Good…” He smiles. “Good.”

“Just _Good_?” I question curiously. “What are you thinking about Jug?”

He shakes his head and pushes me toward the couch. “Sit there, I’m going to revive the fire.”

“But you’re tired… Let’s go to sleep! We’ll think about it tomorrow morning.”

“Nope. We need to warm this place up a little and Bob will sleep better by its heat.”

I look as he uses his flint, he’s always so sexy. No matter what he’s doing. “What am I doing here beside staring at you?”

He laughs. “Hush. I’m almost done…” A moment later the wood bursts into flames and he joins me on the couch, his arm thrown over my shoulders. He brings me closer to his body and kisses my temple.

“I just wanted to sit by the fire with you for a while.”

My heart warms at his confession. “We can do this everyday…”

“Okay. I’d like that…”

His eyes are vulnerable, staring into the flames. “What is it Jug? Tell me… Please.”

He looks down at me. “It has just downed on me that this is it…”

“What did you mean when you said you want everything?” I ask quietly.

“ _Everything_ , Betty. I don’t want to give up on anything…”

“Which is?”

“I-I don’t want to scare you with my crazy thoughts…”

I cup his cheek with my hand and smile. “You won’t scare me. We're soulmates, remember?”

He takes a moment before speaking. I can barely hear his words. “You as my wife… a family. I want it all…”

I blink back the tears. I try, at least, but they still fall. “We will… At some point.”

“I know we already talked about kids and I know it’s a someday… We have to create something out of this place before bringing little humans into this world but… it’s nice to fantasize about it.”

I sniffle and nod. “It is… It really is. I’m- I’m not even sure if I c-can have children… It’s been so long since my last period… What if… What if I-”  
  
“Ssh. No. Not now. Okay? One thing at a time… Just… promise you’ll marry me for now.”

“Are you proposing, Jug?” I laugh through the tears.

“Not yet but kinda?”

“I promise I will when you ask me…”

He kisses me tenderly, his forehead leaned against mine and a big smile on his face. “Let’s go to bed now.”

He takes me by the hand and drags me upstairs. The bed is comfortable, the covers are dusty, everything is by the look of it but… _it’s perfect._ I wouldn't want it any other way.  



	25. Discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty and Jughead talk about something that she finds paralyzing. Planning for the future isn't as simple as they thought it would be and being soulmates doesn't necessarily mean having the same ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Here's a longer chapter for you guys!  
> It contains some MATURE CONTENT.
> 
> Since this is my 25th chapter I want to take advantage of this space to thank every single one of you that has taken the time to read, like and comment this story… It means a lot to me!❤️

**_One Month Later._ **

It’s already late winter, the snow is still our worst nightmare but at least now we’re able to move it away from the doors with a couple of shovels we have found in one of the cabins.

We’ve had our problems, one of which being the lone wolf. It doesn’t seem to be as aggressive as we feared, but it has reached our camp in the end. Bob was the first to react. He was sleeping by the fire while we ate in front of it; his head had snapped up and he immediately begun to bark. We rushed to the windows and there it was, sniffling around. Bob’s barks alerted it though and he run away insantly.  
Since then sometimes we still see it, but Bob doesn’t seem as worried anymore. Maybe it wants company too…

We’ve had two minor episodes of earthquake, nothing big but we still got scared and run out of the cabins in the middle of the night, half naked. It’s been two weeks from the last one.

The renovation of our cabin has been a long but worthy work. It feels like a home, finally. We’ve found half a dozen lamps with a small stock of its oil. They won’t last forever so we’re conserving them as much as we can. Just for when we need them. We also discovered a stock of clothes that must have been used by the rangers during the summer time. We have to adapt after all because it’s all we have… no one has even thought about complaining.

We have also started to melt and boil the snow over the fireplace. Warm water is a luxury that I had missed so very much. I’ve tried to experiment a little, adding small pine branches into the scolding water; the fragrance is perfect for washing ourselves and our clothes.

Jughead has decided he wants to be prepared for the warm season and so every day he hides up in our room and reads as much as he can. We’re all studying, Toni in particular passes hours on the medical books, getting on Cheryl nerves because she says she’s feeling put aside by a bunch of books. She jokes, most of the time, but still… She would love to get more attention. Their discussions are the most entertaining if I have to say so, they fight for the stupidest things and then they disappear for days.

It’s nice, our life. We still all meet once a day to eat, share the food and chat a little but for the rest of the time we stay holed up in our homes. It’s too cold to stay outside more than ten minutes and we need our own space after being in each other's company for such a long time…

“What are you doing?” Jug startles me from my thoughts. He’s leaning against the small kitchen island, staring at me.

“I wanted to fix something nice for dinner, but I got lost in my head.” I smile moving toward him.

He opens his arms and hugs me to himself. “Is there something wrong?”

“Nope… Just thinking about this last month. I can’t wait for the warm season!”

“Me too, we’ll finally be able to work outside and hunt. We’re lucky to have all of this canned food but… I miss a home cooked meal.”

“I’ll cook you anything you bring me home…”

He looks down at me and kisses my mouth quickly. “It’s been days since we’ve last seen the wolf. Do you think we could tame it?”

“I don’t know Jug… It could be a risk. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t. As soon as we have some fresh meat, we’ll try to lure it here. It could be useful.”

“What about Bob?”

“He’ll have a friend!” He smiles.

“You’re crazy.” I laugh.

We stay wrapped around each other for a few more minutes. The passion between us is always simmering, never really leaving, but we have started to get used to it… We can’t pass every single moment in bed.

“How was your reading?”

“Enlightening. I think I’ll be able to recognize every eatable plant in this area as soon as the snow melts.”

“In no time we’ll able to eat a good healthy salad! Aren’t you happy?!”

He snorts and cups my cheek, trapping my mouth in a deep searing kiss. “I am. I am happy, Betty. For many things, not just for the salad.”

“Me too.” I kiss him back, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Can we eat now? I’m starving. I’ve spent the whole afternoon trying to put a bit more flavor into the pine water but there aren’t many scented plants around right now…”

“Go sit then, I’ll bring the food and after dinner we can relax together.”

I start to move backwards toward the couch. “What if I don’t really want to relax? Can we do something else… _together_?”

His eyes darken, the temptation to grab me and fuck me right over the kitchen counter is very visible in the way his jaw tightens. “We can do anything you want to do… Especially together!”

“Good to know… Now, I’m hungry! Prepare me something good my dear!” I flop down on the couch and sigh. This is amazing. It tends to get a little boring after a while… there’s not much to do around beside read, experiment and boil water. But these moments of anticipation between us are what I live for.

There’s also the fact that now we have to be extra careful. Last week I woke up with some spotting on my panties. So, my period is back! Not regular but… it means that everything should be starting to get back to normal at some point. When I told Jug he fell silent, mouth open and gears clearly working inside his head. I can recollect our chat as if it was yesterday.

_“We’ll have to be careful now. More than we were before.” I told him huffing, a little frustrated because it's not like there are any tampons in our storage._

_“Damn it… I thought we’d have more time to just… not think about it.”_

_“Well… We don’t! It’s just some spotting but… you know…”_

_“I know… Lucky for us we have a good stock!”_

I snigger, thinking about the few days after that.

“Why are you laughing by yourself? Have you finally lost your mind?” He jokes as he sits beside me with two plates full of canned beef and peas. _Yuck, peas._  
  
“You’re funny! No. I don’t know, I’m just in a mood tonight…” I say as I bite into a forkful of food.

“A good mood or a bad one? I thought your period was over!”  
  
“Jug. Do you want to die now?” I huff.

“Nope. Sorry. Sorry, what were you saying?”

“That I’m in a mood but now you can forget about it…” I grumble. I know I’m being silly, I just want him to grovel a little bit.

He looks at me, surprised. Mouth full of food. He chews quickly and put both our plates on the ground, away from us, takes my hands and slides closer to me. “I’m sorry… I-I thought we were joking…”

I can’t help but burst into a laugh. “You should have seen your face!”

He frowns. “Oh! Oh! I get it! You were messing with me!” He starts tickling me.  
  
The laughs that leave my mouth are almost hysterical. “Please! Please stop! I’m going to get sick!”

“I just had a déjà vu! _Say you’re sorry Betts!_ ”

“I am! I am! I swear I’m sorry! Please?” Tears are streaming down my face and my stomach is hurting from all the laughing.

He stops, half laying on top of me, his eyes sparkling, and his mouth split into a beautiful smile. I kiss it quickly. “I just wanted to have fun…”

“That was fun.” He nudges my nose with his.

“For you! I thought I was going to die!”

“I wouldn’t have permitted it. You’re too precious to me.”

I stare at him a while longer, passing my hands through his dark locks. “This is everything I didn’t know I’ve ever wanted for myself…” I murmur smiling. “ _You_ are everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“I know, Betts. You are too.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot!”

“Do you think that at some point civilization will start over?”

“Yeah! I’m positive it will… You don’t think so?”

“Yes, I’m just scared we’ll make the same mistakes over and over again and that we won’t have anymore chances to survive something like this.”  
  
“ _We_ won’t make the same mistakes. I can assure you of that!”

“Alright… It’ll be just us forever. We’ll end up hating each other!”

“Nah… we have our spaces. And it won’t be just us forever, you know it…”

I smile, looking down. “Yeah… Can we finish our dinner now? Then I want you to make love to me until I don’t know how to walk anymore.”

He growls leaving me there to retrieve our plates. “Eat. Quick.”

“Yes, Sir.”

*** 

I’m on my knees, on the bed, waiting for instructions. Jughead told me to get naked and wait for him. He needed to take something.  
Also, I still haven’t gone down on him, I can’t find the courage to do so. The idea overwhelms me too much. I’m not ready, I told him so and he scolded me because that shouldn’t even be a problem. If I don’t want to, I don’t have to do it and that’s final. I made love to him all night that time, not caring about being too loud. The others don’t care either after all!

The door slamming shut gets me out of my thoughts. A minute later Jughead is in front of me, smirking.

“That’s a view I always want to come home to.”

I blush. “Silly.”

He takes off his clothes remaining just in his boxers and climbs over the bed, getting in front of me. “Close your eyes.”

I do as he says.

“Lay on your back.”

He helps me get in position. “What now?” I ask quietly, my voice trembling from excitement.

“Pain or no pain?” He asks me back.

“I don’t need pain. I’m okay…”

“Good!” He takes my hands and fastens them to the headboard. I start squirming, my legs squeezing together.

“What are you going to do?”

“If I tell you where’s the fun?”

If my eyes were open, I’d probably be rolling them. “Right.”

“Will you keep your eyes closed or do I need to blindfold you? It’s part of the game… If you open them, it’s ruined.”

“I’ll keep them closed, promise… But can you hurry up?”

He chuckles. “In a hurry, are we?”

He spreads my legs and bends them. I expect his mouth on me, that’s what he usually does when he gets me into this position but not this time.

Something freezing cold touches my belly button and I jump. “What…”

“Eyes closed.”

He keeps moving the cold thing over my belly, up and down, right and left. _Ice_ , he’s using ice. I moan, loudly when he pushes it against my clit. I’m in sensory overload. His fingers push inside on me while he stimulates my nub with ice.

“Oh my god, oh my gosh… that- that feels… _so good!_ ”

He kisses my thigh and bites it, adding a little bit of pain to the mix of pleasures I’m feeling.  
  
His tongue takes the ice’s place and I melt. From cold to warm, I can’t really grasp what’s going on inside my body. “Shit!” I exclaim holding onto the headboard. “That’s amazing…”  
  


He chuckles against me, the vibrations spreading everywhere. “Is it?”

“I’m almost there…”

He stops every movement and puts the ice back on my clit. I can’t come like this… it’s stimulating... But it’s not enough. “Jug!” I try to kick him but he just holds my legs tighter.

“Hush… try to hold it. It’s going to feel even better. Don’t you trust me?”

“Why are you torturing me?” I almost sob.

“I’m not!” He laughs. “Trust me… Please?”

I nod huffing, trying very hard not to snap at him. His mouth is back on me, sucking and teasing… bringing me every time closer and closer to the edge but cooling me down with the ice every single time. I’m crying. The tears falling down my face are unintentional… “J-Jug… P-please!” I sob when he brings me down yet again.

“One more time…”

I cry out in frustration. “I’m going to kill you! That’s how y-you’re going to die!”

“Sssh… Come on…” He whispers against my sex. “One more time…”

I’m not sure how I’m able to keep my eyes closed. It’s becoming unbearable.

He bites me lightly and everything behind my eyelids turns white. I’m so close to coming that I don’t know what to do with myself. It’s a matter of seconds now but he brings me down and I kick him.

“Ouch!” He exclaims through laughs. “That was my hip!”

“I don’t care! Please J-Jug…” I burst into tears. “W-why are y-you doing this?”

“Look at me…” He murmurs.

I blink my eyes open and glance down at him.

“Keep looking at me.”

He pushes his fingers inside of me so slowly that I almost don’t feel them. Then he crooks and moves them quickly, his lips sealed over my clit and everything turns into pleasure. Every part of me feels it. From head to toes. It’s so intense that all I can do is ark my back and breathe. No sound leaves my mouth, I don’t have the energies.

“I’m going to make love to you now…” I hear him say through my foggy mind. My body still trembling.

He thrust in me, unhurriedly. “I’m so sensitive Jug… I-I can’t…”

“You can…” He growls into my ear. He hastens the pace a little and kisses me.

“J-Jug…” The tingling in my lower belly starts all over again and when he comes, a couple of thrusts later, I come too. It feels so good that it almost hurt. He quickly frees my wrist and I hug him immediately, making him fall onto me.

We stay wrapped around each other for a long time knowing we probably shouldn’t because we have to dispose of the condom but too overwhelmed to move a single finger.

He rolls off me at some point, throwing the condom away and covering us both with the sheet and plaid. “Did you really think that I wouldn’t have let you come?” He asks. His breath still heavy.

“Well… Yeah! You’re a tease!” I grumble slapping his chest.

“You said you didn't want to be able to walk after! Did that feel good?”

I shrug, biting my lip. “So good…”

“Was that too much?”

I look up at him through heavy lids. “Absolutely not… You know how I get when you tease me. That was exciting and I almost passed out without the added pain. It’s another progress don’t you think?”

He laughs. “That you almost passed out?”

“Yeah! The only other time I felt this way was when you spanked me in that house… Now you just teased me and made me come after denying me so many times. When the orgasm came… I thought I was going to faint… It felt almost too good to be bearable."

He smirks. “Good to know…”

“Just… can you not tease me every time? I don’t always have the patience!”

“Promise!”

A knock on the door startles us. It’s late, who could it be?

“Stay here…” He sighs and kisses my lips before standing up and getting dressed.

He descends the ladder barefoot. “Who is it?"

“It’s Toni. Can I come in?”

He swings the door open. “What are you doing out this late? You know about the rule…”

I sit on the bed, covers around my chest, and look down. She sees me and waves. “I think Cheryl has a slight fever and… Do you have the medicines?”

“How did she catch it? Come in, sit on the couch while I take them.”

“It’s just the flu. She went outside the other day without the jacket… I told her to put on something heavier.”

“Are you worried?” I ask from my position. I’m too comfortable to get downstairs. I hope she doesn’t get offended.

“At the moment it’s just a cold… Theoretically with some Tylenol she should feel better in a couple of days… We’ll see.” She huffs. “She so stubborn!”

“She’s going to be okay…”

“Here… Take the bottle but try not to finish them, we don’t have many unfortunately."

“Thank you, boss… I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing! Sorry for the interruption!”

I blush. “We were just getting ready to sleep… don’t worry, T.”

She smirks up at me before getting outside. Jug stays by the door until he sees her get back inside her cabin then he shuts it and comes back upstairs. “That’s all we needed.” He huffs. “A sick Cheryl. She’s going to be a pain in the ass…”

I laugh as he lays down under the covers. “Who told you I’m not a pain in the ass too when I’m sick?”

“Well… Let’s try to not get you sick alright?”

“You’re incorrigible!”

He yaws closing his eyes and he drags me against his body. “As soon as the summer comes, we need to get back to that store…”

I snap my head up to look at him better. “ _Which store?_ ”  
  
“The Shopping Center Betts… We need to stock on many things. Think about the future…"

“Nope. I’m not going back over that chasm! It’s _weeks_ away from here!” I snap irritated. “And we have everything we need!”

“Do we? Really?”

“Yes!”

“We don’t… With the risk of sounding redundant, _if and when_ a baby will come what are we gonna do? It’s going to need things we don’t have here…”

 _Damn it._ I frown. “We could sew some of the sheets together-” But even I know the impossibility of what I’m saying. We don’t have the materials to do something like this.

“We have to go there… There’s no other way. And you know it…”

“I love you Jug. I love you for this… side of you. We still have time though. Let’s not think about it, please?”

“It’s something we need to discuss…” He mutters looking up at the ceiling, frustrated.

“Do we have to discuss about this _right now_? There are still two feet of snow out there!”

“You don’t know how confusing you are Betty.” He says sitting up. “Sometimes it seems like you’re convinced about this and some other times I feel like you’d prefer to run away rather than talking about having a child with me.”

I momentarily don’t know what to say. “Jug… I’m barely twenty years old... I-I don’t even know if I’m fit to be a mom… My mother was my only role model and… _you know_ how she was…”

He turns toward me, eyes sad. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner about this fear?”

“B-because it was a _one day kind of thought!_ ” I exclaim. “I thought we’d have more time to… talk this through.”

“We also agreed that time isn’t really something we can collect…”

“I know… I-I’m…” _What if I turn out like her?_ I want to tell him.

“Betts…” He murmurs softly, taking my hand. “It’s okay… Let’s pretend I didn’t say anything, okay?”

I shake my head. “No! I don’t want t-to end up like my parents! M-my father left because they wouldn’t talk!”

“Betty…”

“No!” I shout.

“Okay. Okay, let’s talk this through but I need you to calm down a little… please?”

I take a deep breath and look down. “Why do you want a child now?” I ask.

“Because it’s the only good thing I know I can make after years of destruction and inflicting pain on others… And because I have you, now. Why are you scared?”

I bite my lip, chin trembling. “Because I don’t want to be like my mother and I don’t know how not to be like her!"

“You have nothing of her, Betty… You’re caring and sweet and protective… And you wouldn’t be by yourself.”

“We live in a post-apocalyptic world Jug. Have you thought about the possible complications? We aren’t ten minutes away from a hospital, we don’t have the equipment… We have nothing…”

“That’s why I wanted to get back to that store… to get ready for the future. I’m not talking about days, Betts… I’m talking about months… I just want to be prepared… And most of all, I don’t want to push you when you’re clearly not ready to even talk about this properly…”

“J-Jug…”

“It’s okay, I swear Betty. I swear! I just want to know if you’ll ever want to at some point…"

“I do! I told you… I just need to destroy every last bit of my mother’s presence inside my head. I need to.”

He nods and hugs me tightly. “You’re already making progresses, you know it. Your hands are completely healed and even though we’ve almost had our first real discussion you did not resort to hurting yourself as a coping mechanism. You’re getting everyday a little bit better."

I hold back the tears. I don’t want to cry now. “I know."

“And I know you do.”

“Jug… We can go back there. Just… give me some more time? I know you said time is a luxury but… please?”

“I don’t want to rush you, ever. I’m sorry if that was the impression. I just felt like you didn’t even want to think about it…”

“It’s not like that-”  
  
“I know. I know now. We’re okay.” He kisses me and we both lay back down. “Sleep now. We can speak some more about this in the morning.”

“Promise me something…” I whisper with closed eyes.

“Everything you want…”

“Let’s never go to sleep without having resolved our arguments. Okay?”

“I promise.”

“Thank you, Jug. And I’m sorry for being still so insecure.”

“We’ll get there together, love.”


	26. Tension, Resolutions and Compromises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not easy for Betty to get back to normal after the almost argument she had with Jughead. Her mind is stuck and she's scared she's going to lose him. Someone from the group will help her make a decision.

As much as he said that everything was fine, in my mind nothing is. At least not if I think about the argument. He acts like nothing happened but how can he be so calm about something like this?  
It’s been a couple of days already and the tension between us hasn’t gone unnoticed.

“Is everything okay?” Toni asks me one afternoon as we’re sorting our small stock of medicines.

I shrug, frowning. “Yeah… Just a misunderstanding. We’ll figure it out…”

“Did he do something wrong?”

“No…” I’m unsure to share this thing with her. It’s private but maybe having a second opinion is going to help us. “He wants something that I’m not sure I’m able to give him and I know he says he’s okay with waiting but… it’s getting in between us…”

She blinks several times, probably trying to understand what exactly I’m talking about. “Well… Is it something you’ll absolutely hate?”

“No! At some point I know I can give him what he wants but… I don’t know Toni.”

“Uhm… I don’t want to be inappropriate but… What are we talking about here?”

I look down at my current task. “I… I’m not sure I should tell you this.”

“Listen, Betty… Whatever it is, all you can do is really talk about it. When you’re in a relationship with someone the first thing you need to understand -both of you- is that there has to be a middle ground. Yeah, sometimes it happens that compromising puts one of the two parties in a difficult situation but… when there’s love, anything is possible.”

I mull over what she said and I know she’s right. But what if the problem is me? “I’m scared to be unfit for what he’s asking…” I murmur.

She stops what she’s doing, grabs one of my hands, takes our jackets and drags me outside, away from unwanted ears. We dress immediately because it’s cold as fuck. “Okay. Now. What is it that he wants? I swear I won’t tell him anything if you don’t want to but since it seems like you two can’t talk about this right now maybe I can give you some peace of mind…”

“You’ll think we’re crazy for different reasons…”

“Betty, I’ve known that guy for all my life. I know he’s crazy as fuck when he wants to, but he never does things without having really thought about it. What happened?”

“He said that he wants to make something good after all the destruction and pain he brought upon others…”

“Well, that doesn’t seem like a crazy thing.” She says before squinting suspiciously. “What is he talking about?”

“He wants… He wants a child. At some point!” I add quickly.

Her face assumes an almost comical expression. “ _What?_ He lost his mind!”

“The fact is that _at some point_ I know I want to give him this but… I’m barely twenty years old! He said he’s okay with waiting but he wants to prepare and even thinking about it right now drives me up the wall… _I’m not fit to be a mother!_ ” I whisper shout.  
  
“Okay! Slow down! Let me think for a moment but… slow down. Alright?”

I nod sitting on the snowy entrance. “This is all so fucked up. I should be happy right? I mean… You don’t always find a guy that wants something like this. Usually it’s the other way around…”

She sits beside me. “Listen Betty. Jughead hasn’t really had a good life. Always trying to survive, always alone, no one to care about beside his gang and he hasn’t always been husband material. I’m sure he told you everything he wanted you to know but… he went down a very dark path at some point, he doesn’t like to even think about that time, but it happened. He set the rules, but you know… he had to survive in a sea full of sharks ready to tear him apart. He has always been good at heart though and the guilt ate him alive. Now he has found you and this isn’t just about being soulmates Betty. He has you and feels like we don’t have all the time in the world, he wants to make amends and the easiest way for him to do so is make something good. There’s nothing better than a child in his own mind…”

“He didn’t tell me any of this…” I murmur.

“Yeah, he’s not very good when it’s time to express his own mind. Still, I think this isn’t something you can jump into while living in this messed up world. Even more if you’re not okay with this! He’s sweet but… he needs to listen to you…”

“He does! Maybe… maybe it’s all in my head…”

“The tension we all felt the last couple of days sure as hell wasn’t just in our heads! Tell me your side of the story now… What is it that scares you the most beside the obvious?”

I sigh. “Beside the fact that there are no doctors, no medical equipment, no functioning hospitals?”

“Yeah!” She laughs. “Beside that!”

“I’m scared to be uncapable of being a mom. My mother was… _vicious._ I’m scared I’m going to mess up. I don’t want to do to my child what she did to me…”

“Betty… The fact that you’re acknowledging this is proof that you won’t be like her.” She heaves a deep breath. “My mother was a sweet woman before she died. My father left her as soon as she told him she was expecting and ever since then she did everything in her power to give me what I needed. Her mother, on the other hand, was awful. I never really met her, but my grandad always told me the stories… I’m telling you this to give you an example. My grandmother was a bitch, but my mom was the sweetest person alive. You can’t think that just because your mother was uncapable of being good to you, you’re going to be uncapable of being good to your child. Betty, there’s not an evil bone in your body…”

The tears fall unbridled. “What should I do?”

She wraps an arm around my shoulders, comfortingly. “Right now? I think you need to get better and convince yourself that you are worthy. Your mom destroyed you… You can’t do something this big if you haven’t put all the pieces back together.”

“Jug has helped me a lot with this… I’m getting better but this thing is scaring me to death. What if I lose him?”

She snorts. “That man is unable to stay two feet away from you for more that fifteen minutes! _He loves you_ , Betty. He won’t abandon you for telling him the truth… He won’t abandon you, _period._. Trust him. Just, talk to him…”

I nod quickly, drying the tears and leaning my head against her shoulder. “Thank you…” I murmur. “I needed that.”

“I’m always here if you need me. Alright? Don’t be afraid of disturbing because you won’t. I know that you have him but… sometimes talking to a different person helps put things in perspective.”

“Yeah… I know that now.”

“And Betty, if you want me to talk to him… Tell me. Alright?”

“I don’t think it’s going to be necessary but in that case I’ll tell you…”

“Good. Now lets get back inside before he has a heart attack.”

I stand up and take in some fresh air. “Yeah let’s go.”

“You sure you’re okay?” She checks.

I smile and nod. “I’m better.”

When we enter the cabin they all look at us, Jughead’s frowning but I don’t find the courage to go to him right away.

“What!?” Toni exclaims. “Can’t we even talk privately now?”

They look down except for Jughead and Cheryl. “Get home with your man and talk, now. Don’t delay this anymore…” She murmurs into my ear.

“But we need to do this now…”

“Don’t worry about this. Go sort things out with him. This tension is getting on everybody’s nerves!” She winks at me and joins Cheryl by the fireplace.

I sigh, looking at Jughead. He’ still staring at me, concern clear in his gaze. I nod my head toward the door, letting him know I want to get home.  
He grabs his jacket and we both leave after having said our goodbyes. I don’t think we’ll be back for today.

I take his hand in mine, startling him given that in the last couple of days I never really initiated any contact. I know he resented me for that.

“Are you okay?” He asks quietly.

“I just need to tell you something… Will you listen to me? Please?”

“Of course, Betty…” He sighs. “I’m sorry if you felt like you couldn’t talk to me… I’m not sure what happened…”

“Let’s get inside and revive the fire. Then we can sit in front of it and talk, okay?”

He nods hugging me to his side. Warmth spreads all over me.

*** 

We’ve both changed out of the heavy clothes we had on and now we’re sitting by the fire in silence. He’s giving me the time to collect my thoughts and I love him for this.

“So… I’m sorry for how I’ve acted lately. I got… lost. For a while…”

“It’s because of the baby… Isn’t it?”

“Yeah, Jug… It’s just… I’m not there yet. I want to! At some point… When I know I’m able to sustain something like this. It could take months or maybe years…” I sigh, looking down at my hands. “Toni helped me get out of the state I’d put myself. I’m sorry if you think it was inappropriate of me to talk about this with her, but she gave me some perspective…”

“Betty. Listen to me… First of all, you can talk with whoever you want to. Yeah maybe it’s a bit personal but she’s the best person you could have talked to. Second of all, you know I don’t want to push you into anything… alright? I can’t wait to have that with you but _I can wait!_ It’s all about compromising… I’m willing to wait because I see how it’s affecting you…”

I launch myself at him, crying. “I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish I’d be better-”

“Stop it, Betts… We’re going to get through this. Why it took you this long to come to me?”

“I thought you were going to leave me…” I murmur. “I-I thought that if I told you I don’t agree with your plan you’d get mad and that would have been the end of us…”

“Betts, no…” He hugs me tightly. “I can’t leave you. I don’t want to leave you! Even if you’re never ready for something like this… I’d be okay with just being us two!”

“That’s not what I want. Toni said something pretty smart… I need to put together every single piece of myself that my mother destroyed. Once I’m healed then I can start thinking about the good things…”

“Can I tell you just one thing?”

“You can tell me everything…”

“I think you’ll be an amazing mother, whenever you’re going to be ready. And I think that that child will change your life for the better… I really believe this.”

My eyes sting and I smile. “Maybe. But I can’t know for now…”

“I’m sorry if I made you feel bad… It wasn’t my intention.”

“It's strange… you know? You wanting something like this so soon and me being so scared to such an extent that I'm not even able to talk about it… There has to be a reason for you to want a child so badly…” I say quietly, knowing what Toni said but wanting to hear it from him.

He shrugs. “I told you… After everything I think a child could be my only redemption… teaching him or her how to be a _good_ human being. I want to do something right in my life, Betty.”

“You already are… You’ve kept your friends alive for most of your lives and now you’re taking care of us. You already have your redemption, Jug.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not enough…”

I sigh. “Toni told me you went through a very dark path at some point… I don’t want you to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable but just know that you did that to stay alive. Whatever you did.”

He nods, frowning. “Toni has a big mouth…”

“She’s your family and she loves you. She wants what’s best for you and all she said was that we need to find a middle ground… She feared you had lost your mind but understands you better than anyone…”

“Yeah… I don’t know. But she’s right about a middle ground… What are we gonna do, Betts?”

“We prepare. We go back to the Shopping Center when the warm season starts and we take everything that could be useful not just for us, not just for a child… We need to look out for seeds, more clothes, medical equipment we did not look for the last time we were there… tools and books on agriculture _and_ parenting because that’s something we will all need to get prepared for at some point not just us two… You’re getting what I’m saying?”

He smiles, nodding quickly. “Okay, okay… this is good middle ground.”

“We need to find a functioning car. We’ve never really looked out for one but… It could be useful to bring everything back here. The path is wide enough… rangers used to have jeeps to move around. If we find one I can work on it…”

“You can work on it?”

“Yeah…” I flush. “M-my father liked to fix cars and when my mother wasn’t around he liked to teach me a thing or two about them.”

“You never fail to amaze me, Betty!” He kisses me deeply, leaning his forehead against mine when he detaches from my lips.

“I’m glad we’ve talked…”

“I knew there was something wrong but… I thought you needed to be on your own for a while. _I felt_ there was something wrong but… relationships are a new thing to me too…”

“We’re okay now. Just… let’s try to never reach the point where we think we can’t talk to each other because we’re scared of getting hurt. Okay?”

“I completely agree with you.” He kisses me one more time and smiles while looking at me.

“What is it?”

“Can I add something to our middle ground agreement?”

“What?”

He bites his bottom lip, uncertainty written all over his face. “Just… tell me instantly if you don’t agree, alright?”

“Jug, tell me…”

“Be mine.”

My heart loses a beat. “I am yours. Completely.”

“Let’s make it official? Even if it’s just us?”

“Jug-”

“Just us. I don’t need anyone else. Just the two of us…”

I blink back the tears, cup his cheek and kiss him. “I can do that…”

“Really?”

I nod rapidly. “Yeah.”

The smile that graces his face is perfect. We tumble on the ground when he molds his lips against mine, erupting in a fit of giggles I can’t really contain.

“Okay…” He murmurs. “Wait here. Don’t move!”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

He stands up quickly and I cover my face with both hands, heart almost beating out of my chest. It’s insane! My life is changing so quickly that I feel like I'm in a constant state of amazement sometimes. But _this_ is something I can do. I want this.

He turns back, hands hidden in the front pocket of his hoodie and sits crossed legged in front of me. “Let me tell you something first. I mean… it should work like this, right?”

I sit up too, nodding and biting my lips trying to hold back the tears I know won’t be kept at bay for long once he starts talking.

“I didn’t prepare for any of this but… When I met you, that first day, I never expected you were going to become this important to me. We started with the wrong foot but then I think it was destiny. Two completely different persons meeting and finding out they’re soulmates… I won’t keep this long; just know that every fiber of my body loves you unconditionally and nothing will ever change that. So, Betty… be mine and I promise I’m going to take care of you at the best of my ability. Be with me for as long as this world permits us…”

I sniffle, smiling. The tears are streaming down my face, I can’t really help it. I was so scared I was going to lose him when really all he wants is take care of me. “I’ll be y-yours.” I sob.

He takes something out of his pocket. “I obviously don’t have a ring, but I found these the other day while I was looking through one of the kitchen’s drawers.”  
He opens his palm. In his hand there are a couple of copper wires… they’re thick and perfect. “I- I thought we could use these? Put them on each other’s fingers…” He murmurs embarrassed.

“It’s perfect, Jug…” I say in a hushed whisper. I give him my hand and very gently he twines it around my ring finger. I can’t stop the tears now, not even if I try.

“This is my promise to you that I won’t ever let you down and please, if I do something wrong… tell me. I still need to learn many things about love and life…”

I nod quickly and kiss him. “It’s beautiful.”

He kisses my finger and gives me the second wire. “Jug… I-I’m not s-sure how to talk w-without chocking right now…”

He laughs drying my tears. “You don’t have to say anything. You already told me everything I needed to know…”

“I love you… you have my heart and you saved me. I… I just love you.” I take his hand, mine are trembling so much that I almost find it difficult to wrap the wire around his finger. It takes me a couple of tries but in the end, I succeed, immediately falling into each other’s arms both crying and both happy. It’s just a step closer to what I thought I’d never had. _Real love and real life_. My mother being very far from any of my thoughts right now.


	27. Honeymoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty and Jughead stay holed up in the cabin for some time after getting married, happy to have finally found a middle ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT. MATURE. Really.

We don’t tell anyone. We don’t do it on purpose, it’s not something we’ve decided. It’s just nice to keep it to ourselves for a while, knowing that we made that kind of promise just between us.

It’s been three days now and I can’t keep the smile off my face, it’s impossible. I’m also glad that we’ve reached a compromise and now I’m so much more relaxed. I should have talked with Toni right away probably! She would have saved me from many headaches!

“What do you think your mother would say?” Jughead asks me while we’re laying in our bed. I still haven’t put foot outside, they’ll think I’ve run away if I don’t show my face at some point.

“My mom…” I sigh heavily. “She’d probably kill me. And you. Or she’d send me away to some boarding school… or she’d close me into a nunnery.”

“Or maybe I would have sent her away!”

I shake my head, not at all convinced. “She wasn't that easy to scare.”

“Who says that’s what I was going to do?”

I roll my eyes and snuggle into his side. “Do you think we would have met each other anyway? Even without the apocalypse?”  
  
“I hope so. I don’t know were I’d be right now though…”

“When did you leave the gang?”

“I didn’t Betts. The world went up in flames and we were obliged to run away. I’m glad I was with them and not with the rest of the gang. They would have killed me right away just because they could.”

I hug him tightly to myself. “You’re with me now…”

His hand brushes up and down my back and he breathes into my hair. “I love your smell. You could have created perfumes as a job.”

I smile, looking up at him. “It’s just water and pine. I wish there was some soap around…”

“We’ll take some when we go back to the Store.”

“Do you think there’s a way to make it with what we have?”

He shrugs. “Probably but… I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“We need all kind of books… They’re our best source.”

He kisses me. “You’re too cute when you’re so focused. It’s hot.”

“Is it?” I smirk. “How hot exactly?”

“I think I’ll show you…” His mouth goes down my neck, shivers run all over my body. I’m not sure how it’s possible but our sex life has become even more intense.

“Are you going to make love to me?”

“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do…” He murmurs against my breasts.

“No teasing?”

“No teasing.” He sucks on the sensitive skin just under my breast, making me moan. “I don’t have the patience this time.”

I feel him, hard against my thigh, and I open my legs inviting him in between them. “What are you waiting for then?”

One of his hands goes straight down my body, settling against my core. “I said I wouldn’t tease… let me have my fun.” He growls against my belly.

“Alright. Do it your way-” He shuts me up by pushing two of his fingers inside of me and sucking my clit into his mouth. Nothing new but always so fucking appreciated.

“I want to make you feel good.” He groans. “You taste so sweet…”

“Stop it… That’s not p-possible.” I blush furiously. I still can’t believe he likes to do that. He actually likes it.

He leaves his position between my legs, keeping his hand there, moving it quickly. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

I know what he intends to do. I don’t have the time to overthink though because his lips are on me and his tongue pries my mouth open battling against mine. It’s so erotic that I can’t help but moan. I taste myself and I can’t really say I like it but… the way he seems so passionate about it makes me feel hot.

His fingers do that thing I like so much. They curl upward and I gasp into his mouth. “Are you going to come for me?” He pants against my lips.

I nod quickly, legs tensing and back arching toward his chest. His free hand pinches one of my nipples and he lightly bites the lobe of my left ear. “Then come for me.”

It’s impossible to resist. The orgasm washes over me like a tidal wave, leaving me breathless and trembling. He moans into my neck and doesn't slow down the movement of his fingers. “One more time.”

“I-It’s too much…” I whimper, not sure if I want to get away from him or hold him closer. My nails sink into his arms.

“Feel it… Try to feel beyond the tenderness.”

I bite my lip and squeeze my eyes shut. He takes one of my legs and pushes it up, hooking it over his arm. “Oh my God…” I moan.

“Open your eyes.” He orders. “And look how pretty you are.”

I do open my eyes but I’m not sure I really want to look. He presses his thumb against my clit, and I throw my head back. “It’s too much… Jug! It’s too much…”

“Look at yourself.” He groans. “Do it.”

I do as he says, and the scene is so erotic that I can’t help but whimper in pleasure. “Oh gosh…” His fingers move so quickly that I almost can’t see them. I should be embarrassed. I really should. But I can’t find it in myself to feel even an ounce of that. I push my mouth against his and let myself go. I tremble against him, wrapping my arms around his neck and savoring the amazing feeling overwhelming my entire mind and body. There’s a rush into my ears that I can only explain as white noise and my skin is so sensitive that even the slightest brush makes me shiver.

He enters me a moment later while I’m still high on that wave. He takes my hands and moans. “Damn. You’re so tight.”

“I… I don’t even know… what you’re talking about-”

“It’s okay... I’ll tell you later.” He slides out almost completely before thrusting back in and groaning. I don’t think I can speak anymore. My leg is still hooked over his arm and he’s so deep inside that I don’t know what to do with myself.

“Can you come one last time? With me?” He asks urgently, pushing his hand between us and touching my nub. It’s so sensitive that it almost hurts.

I shake my head. “I-I don’t think…”

“You can.” He thrusts inside of me, sliding against something so responsive that my muscles squeeze around him. “Like that.” He pants and does it again. That’s all it takes. It’s not as intense as the others but it’s still pleasurable and amazing. He comes with me, trembling and squishing me with his weight. I keep him there, needing the contact between us more than anything in the world right now.

We fall asleep instantly. Too tired to move more than a finger. He just disposes of the condom and falls right back beside me.

*** 

“I thought I was going to die.” I whisper after we wake up a couple of hours later. It’s well into the night by now, probably early morning.

He chuckles. “That good?”

I slap him on the chest, smiling. “Yes. That good. You make me want to do things I never even knew existed. You push me out of my comfort zone and… It’s positive.”

“I’m glad.” He takes my left hand into his, brushing a finger over the homemade ring. We tried to fix them a little. Thankfully the wires were long enough to be folded into two halves; we entwined them together to form a branch-like ring, thicker than the first one. They’re both very similar now and I love them.

“Do you think they’re going to notice at some point?”

“Yeah they’ll notice. Veronica will for sure.”

“We could tell them. We could invite them over for lunch!”

“Let’s wait a few days. If they don’t say anything we’re going to do as you said.”

“Toni will think you finally succeeded into your intent of getting me pregnant!” I giggle at the idea.

“In three days?” He snorts. “Not possible. But I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to joke about this now.”

“Yeah I’m at peace right at this moment. Might be the orgasms you gave me.” I kiss his collarbone.

“Must be that for sure… I’ll give you more if you’re going to be this easy-going after!”

I pinch him. “Stop it!”

He laughs, trapping my hand under his. “Sorry, sorry!”

“What do you think they’re going to say?” I’m a little apprehensive. “They’ll think I’ve come and took you away from them.”

“What are you talking about? They’ll be happy for us… I wasn’t very friendly with them before you came along. You saw how I was… you took a glimpse of my _dark side_ that first day.”

“Why were you such a pain in the ass?” I ask him trying to see his face in the darkness.

I feel his chest move up and down under my cheek. “I don’t know… My head was a mess of jumbled thoughts. I felt like I was missing something, but I didn’t know what that was.”

“Were you waiting for me?” I ask him kinda bashfully.

He turns on his side so that we’re nose to nose. “Probably. I just didn’t know.”

“Were you always such a romantic?”

“No!” He laughs. “I don’t think I had a romantic bone in my body…”

I bite my lip, unsure about asking him my next question or not. “What about your girlfriends?”

“Oh, we’re going to talk about my girlfriends now?” He jokes. His hand brushes against my mark.

“N-no… You don’t have to tell me-”  
  
“Betts.” He shushes me. “It’s okay. I’ve never really had a relationship like ours. I had one night stands I’m not proud of and one or two stories but nothing important. I never felt love for them as bad as it sounds.”

“Okay…” I murmur. “Where they many? The one night stands?”

“Do you really wanna know?”

“Is it bad?”

He shrugs. “No but… Not good either… I’m sorry Betty. Maybe we should have talked about this sooner…”

“No, no… it’s okay. You love me, right?”

“With everything I have. You’re my wife after all…”

My heart speeds up inside my chest and I smile. I won’t ever get used to this. “I am.”

He kisses me sweetly on the nose. “So… You wanna know?”

“No. I don’t care. You’re with me now, it’s all that matters to me. I just tend to get insecure sometimes…”

“Betty, you’re so much better than any of those girls. Believe me! Alright?”

I nod and kiss him. “Alright.”

“I never loved them.”

“I believe you Jug. I really do.” I murmur caressing his cheek. “Just one last question…”

“What is it?”

“Where you safe? With them?”

He drags me closer to his body. “ _Always._ Don’t worry okay?”

“Okay… Thank you, for indulging me.”

“Let’s get some sleep. I think that tomorrow you’ll have to show your pretty face around… I don’t want them to believe I’ve kidnapped you! Toni has been looking at me very strangely the last couple of days.”

“Maybe because you want to have a child?” I murmur into his neck, sleepy. “Not so long ago you where Mr. Moody to her…”

He laughs into my ear. “You’re probably right.”

“Goodnight Jug.”

“Goodnight, _wife_.”

*** 

We’re lost into conversation having breakfast when loud bangs at the door startle us both.

“Holy hell!” He growls. “What the hell!”

“Open up! We need to have a chat and it’s cold as fuck out here!” _Toni_.

“I told you she was looking at me strangely…” He mutters as he goes to open the door. “What do you want Toni?”

“Can I come in?”

“No. I’ve kidnapped Betty and I don’t want you to know where she is.”

I laugh quietly. “Come in T.”

“You’re a traitor, Betts.”

She pushes past his imposing stance. “Where were you? What did you do to her?” She turns her angry stare on him, hands on her hips. She can look scary when she wants.

“I didn’t do anything you bitch!”

“We didn’t see her for three days!”

“And the first thing that comes to your mind is that I might have done something to her? Are you nuts?”

“Guys…” I try to intervene.

“I am not! Are you?”

“I swear to God I’m going to throw you out of our fucking cabin if you don’t stop right now!” He takes a threatening step toward her.

“Okay! That’s enough!” I shout getting in between the two growling beasts. “Jughead! Go sit down! Now!”

He seems startled but does what I said instantly, mumbling under his breath.

“And Toni, I’m okay! I just… didn’t want to get outside! I was going to show my face this morning, I swear!”

She doesn’t look convinced. “Did you talk?”

“That’s not any of your business…” Jug snaps at her. I glare at him and he shuts up.

“We did and we’re okay. He understands and he’s more than willing to wait… Nothing’s wrong, I swear.”

She sighs and hugs me. “I was worried.”

“Thank you, Toni. I’m glad to know my friends believe I’m a psycho!” He mutters clearly offended.

“Oh, sorry Jug if I got suspicious after the third day of not seeing her. Most of all after she told me what we know!”

“In which world do you think I’d go to the length of kidnapping my _soulmate_ just because she’s not ready to have a child? Tell me which drugs you’re using because they must have expired and you’re experiencing every possible side effect!”

“Guys, please!” I exclaim. “Everything’s fine, Toni. See?” I make a turn on myself.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” She squints.

“We got married okay? Just the two of us!” Jughead cries out exasperated.

I roll my eyes and huff. “That wasn’t out plan!” I scold him.

“Sorry! She annoyed me!” He frowns.

“Wait…” She whispers. I turn toward her, her eyes are wide and glistening.

“Toni…” I murmur.

“You got married? Really?”

I take Jug’s hand in mine, showing her our homemade rings. “Yeah, T. We did.”

She launches herself at us, full on crying now. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry for implying what I did! I’m sorry!”

Jughead pats her shoulder, clearly uncomfortable. “I’ll let you know when I’m not offended anymore…”

She laughs, giving us some space to breathe. “I’m so happy. Jug, I’m so happy! Betty I’m happy for you too but… _Jughead!_ You’ve grown up!”

“Will you stop offending me? I’m going to keep you on my black list for a very long time…” He grumbles and I laugh, drying tears I didn’t realize had started to fall.

“When did it happen?” She asks looking at me.

“Right after you told me to talk to him. I did, we found a middle ground and… One thing led to another.”

“Where did you find the rings?”

“We made them with copper wires…”

“They’re beautiful…” She sobs. “I’m sorry! I’m a mess! I love happy endings…”

“Hey! This is just the beginning.” He assures squeezing my hip.

“Okay, okay… I need to calm down or Cheryl will think someone died. Can I tell her?”

“We would like to see if they notice the rings… That was the plan, actually.” I inform her as kindly as I can. “If no one does we wanted to invite you over and tell everyone.”

“I have to keep this a secret for how many days?” She inquires worriedly. “How can I turn off the giddiness? I’m not a giddy person! Sweet Pea will know there’s something wrong!”

“Just… scowl?” Jughead says matter-of-factly.

“Very funny.” She deadpans.

“Give us a couple of days at most. Alright?” I tell her smiling.

“A couple of days. I can do it!”

“Can you go now? I want to finish my breakfast with my wife in peace.” Jughead grumbles.

She starts crying again. “I’m going! I’ll leave you two!”

“The tears, Toni! Stop crying!”

“Yes, Boss!” She slams the door behind her when she leaves and I burst into a laugh.

“There’s nothing funny about what just happened…” He mutters. “She really believed I had kidnapped you!”

“She was just making sure everything was okay… She’s happy for us, Jug.” I stand in between his legs and wrap my arms around him.

He sighs and smiles. “She’s going to grovel for a long time for what she assumed.”

I kiss his lips. “Totally agree with you…”

“She won’t be able to keep the secret…” He kisses me back.

“Probably not…” I deepen the kiss, straddling his legs and getting comfortable.

“I think we should leave now, or I won’t let you get out of the house…” He murmurs over my lips.

“We could make them wait a little longer…”

I burst into a laugh when her picks me up, puts me over the small kitchen island and starts undressing me. “That’s music to my ears.”

We’re not going to leave the house today either.


	28. Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty and Jughead share the news with the group and no matter how insecure Betty is about telling them she doesn't want to keep it a secret anymore. For both their sakes and a little bit for Toni's sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT.
> 
> Here's a sweet, funny, a bit shorter chapter for you!

We’re very surprised to see that in the end Toni is able to keep her euphoria down, disguising it behind many bad words and a terrifying scowling face. They all stay far away from her and I feel kind of bad but… it’s funny to see them walk on eggshells around her.

“What’s her problem?” Veronica asks me one afternoon.

I scratch my nose, doing my very best to make her notice the ring but she remains oblivious. “Maybe she’s gotten her period back.”

“Ugh… _the period!_ It’s going to be awful when it comes back. No tampons, no real hygiene.”

“Yeah it’s not funny.” I say patting her knee. Come on! Is she really so blind?

“You got it back?”

“Yep. This month. Just some spotting for now but… it’s still messy.”

“What are we gonna do?”

“I boiled and sterilized some old rugs and layered them over the crotch of my panties. Not the most comfortable thing but it’s not like we have any choice.”

“I’ll start doing that too.” She grumbles and looks back at Toni. “Damn, her mood is terrible though.”

“Let her be… she’ll be fine in a couple of days. It’s just the hormones.”

She shrugs and looks back at me. “We didn’t see you around the last three days… Weren’t you feeling well?”

“Something like that. Uhm… Would you excuse me for a minute? I’ll be back!”

“There aren’t many places to go to! I’ll be right here, waiting.”

I take Jughead’s hand and drag him into a corner. “We need to tell them. Toni is going to snap at some point and I feel bad enough.”

“That’s what she deserves for the things she said to me.”

“Jug.” I scold. “Stop it. We need to tell them. Now. They’re all completely oblivious!”  
He smirks, leaning down. “You’re hot when you try to boss me around.”

“Am I?”

He takes my hand, touching the ring. “Particularly.” He sighs. “Okay. Let’s tell them.”

Butterflies start flapping around my stomach. “How?”

“ _What are those?_ ” Veronica exclaims.

I jump on the spot not sure if she’s talking to us or not. We turn toward her and sure enough her eyes are fixed on our hands.

“Jeez!” Jughead exclaims. “Took you long enough!”

“What? Are they really what I think they are?”

“Yeah…” I smile at her.

She laughs loudly attracting everyone’s attention. “Oh my god! This is amazing!”

“You told her?” Toni asks, relief clear on her face.

“She finally noticed!” I chuckle getting by her side, dragging Jug with me. “I’m sorry if you had to keep it a secret.”

“I knew there was something going on!” Cheryl jumps in. “What secret are we talking about?”

“We exchanged promises… like a marriage.” Jughead announces aloud.

There’s a moment of silence before all hell breaks loose. Even Bob starts barking, startled awake from his nap.

“You guys!” Kevin hugs us. “Why didn’t you say anything? We could have organized something beautiful!”

“It was beautiful!” Jughead defends.

“We just wanted it to be the two of us… I hope that’s okay.” I murmur looking at his friends.

“You don’t need anybody’s blessing!” Cheryl laughs. “You did what you felt right and that’s it! I’m happy for you!”

Sweet Pea and Fangs tackle Jughead to the floor and I can’t help but laugh. The urge to cry happy tears is pretty damn strong but I keep them in check even though the scene unfolding in front of me is beautiful. Three big ex-gangsters laughing and joking like big children. My heart squeezes into my chest.

“Their life has gotten much better now. They had the weight of the world on their shoulders. Especially Jughead. This is good. You came along at the right moment, Betty. He was lost.” Toni tells me quietly.

I sniffle, leaning my head against hers. “Yeah, I was lost too.”

Cheryl gets alongside me, throwing an arm around my shoulders and squeezing. “They look like growling puppies.”

We laugh. Cheryl’s humor is amazing. “I think I’ll go save my husband from those two.”

“Let them have fun!” She grins.

“I. Am. Not. Having fun!” Jughead growls from underneath his two big friends. “You’re going to end up on my black list too! Indeterminately!”

Toni snorts rolling her eyes. “How many times do I have to say sorry?”

“Until you mean it!”

“Okay guys. That’s enough.” I say slightly kicking them. “Let him up. I want to keep him for a while.”

They roll onto their backs, laughing like crazy and with tears in their eyes.

“Bunch of teddy bears.” Cheryl mocks.

Jughead stands up panting. “You two are crazy! You were strangling me!”

“We just wanted to express our happiness for your marriage!” Fangs laughs rolling on his side. “Man, I’m dying!”

“That’s it! Betts let’s go home.”

I laugh taking his hand. “Don’t be like this… We should share our plan with everyone now that they know.”

“Really? Now?”

“Why not?” I shrug. There’s not an appropriate time to tell them.

“There’s more? Are you pregnant now?” Veronica inquires.

I flush embarrassed. “No. I am not. That’s not what we have to tell you!”

Toni chuckles getting a glare from Jughead.

“We need to stock on things we don’t have.” He says to our friends. “The Shopping Center we stayed at during the storm still had may things. We need informative books about agriculture, we need seeds, clothes… That place is our best choice.”

“But it’s a week from here!” Kevin exclaims. “We’ve come all this way just to go back?”

“We won’t all be going, Keller.” He says matter-of-factly. “First thing firsts we need to find a vehicle. Did you happen to see one somewhere?”

“Yeah there was an old truck behind one of those houses we stayed at during the blizzard. It was in terrible conditions.” Sweet Pea says.

“I can fix it. That’s not a problem… The problem is the fuel. Let’s hope there’s going to be enough to get to the chasm and come back here.”

They all stare at me. “What?” I frown getting defensive.

“You’re going to fix the truck?” Fangs asks surprised.

“She used to do that with her father.” Jughead answers for me.

“That’s so cool! You’re a badass!” Veronica squeals making my ears hurt.

“Yeah. Thanks. So. What do you think?”

“It’s necessary.” Toni sighs. “We need many things we don’t have. Since I’m the doctor on call here I’m going to need medical equipment. Let’s hope there’s something around there. And more books about… _the topic_.” She glances at me quickly.

I flush clearing my voice. “I’m going with Jug, obviously. You should come with us… We know nothing about that stuff.”

“Alright. I’m coming too!” Sweet Pea shouts. “When do we leave?”

“As soon as the snow melts. During the warm season.” Jug informs him.

“What are we gonna do us four on our own?” Cheryl huffs.

“You’ll keep the place guarded and safe.” Jug responds. “We can’t leave our homes unattended.”

“Alright… We still have time to organize. Let’s not get our panties into a knot now.” Toni says. “It’s getting dark. I think Cheryl and I are going to eat at home. I’m exhausted from pretending to be angry for so many days.”

“We’re going too.” I murmur. “And I’m sorry, T. Really!”

“She’s the one who needs to be sorry.” Jughead grunts taking my hand and dragging me toward the door. I slap him upside the head. “Hey!”

I laugh. “Big baby.”

They all laugh behind us. I love this. Our little family.

*** 

“That went better than I expected.” I sigh flopping down on the couch, Bob settling by my feet.

“Why? You thought they were going to get mad?” He asks as he revives the fire.

“Kinda…”

He snorts. “They love you more than they love me.”

“That’s not possible.”

He sits beside me, the dog jumps in between us. “Hey now! This is new!” Jug tries to scold him but ends up laughing.

“He wants cuddles too!” I scratch him behind his ears. “I might have neglected him a little.”

“He has a whole family now. Everyone loves him...”

“True.” I smile. “He’s a good dog.”

“Where did you find him again? I never asked.”

“In a little town not far from mine. He wasn’t very friendly when we first met but I gave him something to eat and it’s been love ever since. Just like you!” I tease.

“What can I say? We got lucky! You saved us both.”

I lean over, kissing him. “I love you. Very much.”

“I love you too. I can’t wait to start planning for something more…”

“I know what you mean. This snow is starting to get on my nerves.”

“It’s getting on everybody’s nerves, I believe. Do you want to eat something?” He changes the subject.

“I’m not very hungry but if you want to you can eat. I’ll keep you company.”

He shakes his head. “Nah. Let’s get to bed… I want to make love to you and catch up on some much needed sleep.”

“How can I disagree with this?” I murmur already feeling my insides tingle.

“Sorry doggy. I’m going to go cuddle with mommy now!” He drags me onto my feet, making me laugh and disturbing my sleeping dog.

“I don’t think he cares! He just wants to sleep.” I giggle.

We get upstairs and undress, quickly getting under the covers and just cuddle for a while, feeling each other and basking in our warmth.

“I won't ever take this for granted.” I whisper into his chest, leaving a kiss over his heart.

“We won’t. We’ll find ways to spice things up.”

I get on his lap, straddling him. “That’s an amazing idea.” I whisper grinding down on him.

He groans, looking at where my body is moving against his. “ _This_ is an amazing idea.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah.” He holds my hips, making my movements smoother.

“Can we make love now?”

“Do you really have to ask?”

I laugh and lean down to kiss his lips. I don’t want anything else for tonight. Just this. Simple and fulfilling.  
I get him inside of me after he puts on a condom and stay there, savoring the fullness. His hands graze my skin, from the thighs up to my neck and then he pushes upward inside me. I whimper into his mouth, sharing our breath. I move on him slowly, my clit grinding against his body. “It feels so good…”

“Get on your side.” He pants.

“What?”

“Get on your side…”

I slid down his body and do as he says. He positions behind me, takes my leg and puts it over both of his before entering me.

His thrusts remain slow and deep. Every time he shows me something new, I get surprised at how good it feels. How is it possible? I turn my head in search of his lips, getting lost into another passionate kiss.  
One of his hands is squeezing my breast while the other plays with my nub.

“Put your hand against your lower belly…” He murmurs before biting my bottom lip.

“O-kay”.

“Press down and hold it there.” He instructs.

I feel the tightness it creates as soon as I do that. “So good…” I moan breathlessly.

“I won’t last much longer…” He grunts thrusting quicker and hitting that amazing spot inside of me.

“I’m there…” I whimper at a particularly hard push that takes the breath away from my lungs. “God!” I come hard, gripping him so tightly inside of me that he stops moving for a moment before resuming his thrusts, uneven now. His pants are hot on my neck, goosebumps raising all over my body.

He keeps my leg over his and I can’t help but look down. I won’t get used to this any time soon, looking at myself while he moves inside my body. We are two pieces of the same perfect puzzle.

He comes a few thrusts later, using my fluttering walls as a vehicle of triggering his orgasm. He pulses inside of me and for a blink of a second, I think about the possibilities. The future that could come if we weren’t using protection. The thought vanishes as soon as it comes.  
  
His body trembles against my back, mouth peppering small kisses all over my neck. “You’re perfect…”

“I am not.”

He pulls out and turns me toward him. “You are. Stop degrading yourself like this.”

“But I don’t want to be perfect… My mother aspired to perfection and that’s something I want to forget. I want to be normal.”

“Okay then… we’ll just have to find something new to call you.”

I laugh quietly, shaking my head.

“My little savior…”

I kiss his lips sweetly, my eyes closing. "I want to keep tab of our time from now on… I want to remember the day we got married."  
  
"Tomorrow we'll find a way to carve it on our wall…" He agrees.  
  
"Like a calendar… It's going to be the first day of the month. Our lives got braided together three days ago..." I smile sleeply.  
  
"Tomorrow we'll do that… Alright?"  
  
"Thank you, Jug." I murmur quietly, half asleep already. "We’ll be a family one day… I can promise you that…”

“Whenever you’re ready… Sleep now, love. We have all the time in the world.”


	29. Gaining Conscience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty, Toni and Cheryl spend some time together.  
> Betty has a nightmare that forces her to talk to Jughead about what's on her mind.

I stare at the beautiful carved calendar my husband made a couple of months ago. Time just flew right under our noses and now the snow has melted almost completely. I love to look outside the windows and see the undergrowth start to get greener and greener with each passing day.  
Jughead and the guys are in full planning mode now. They want to find the best place to put our orchard and start to place traps around the ground much to my discomfort. I don’t want Bob to get stuck in one of them but we need meat to sustain ourselves and our canned foods are dwindling.

Edible plants have started to grow much to Jug’s happiness. He has already found a type of plant he calls Spicebush and he came back home one afternoon with his hands full of small twigs, leaves and bark. The smile on his face was startling.

_“We can make tea! We can simmer these in hot water for fifteen minutes or dry the berries for the same purpose!”_

I remember kissing him and almost crying because he was so happy.  
  
We have tea and we’re all glad to finally drink something with some flavor.  
  
He also found plants of Sumac in a particularly sunlit part of the forest. He grumbled a little because the fruits could have been eaten all winter but with that much snow, he hadn’t even thought about searching for the trees.  
  
_“We’ll collect its berries in the summer. We’ll mush and boil them. The book says the taste is very similar to that of a lemon and that we can dry and store them for next winter.”_

He’s so passionate about this. I smile at the memory. Ever since then every day he goes out in search of some new plant to collect.

If everything goes as we’ve planned, in a couple of weeks we should be able to start the trek back to the houses to take a look at the truck. I’m praying in every possible language that it’s not as banged up as Sweet Pea said it was. Rusted on the outside doesn’t necessarily mean broken on the inside.  
I put on my jacket and leave the cabin, joining Jughead and the guys.

“How is it going?” I ask them.

“This part of the undergrowth remains exposed to sunlight for the better part of the day…” Jug says stretching his back. “I think it could be perfect for our orchard.”

“We only need the seeds now.”

“I was thinking…” Fangs adds pensive. “If we find some nylon, we could make a greenhouse! We could have fresh vegetables even during the winter.”

“That’s not a bad idea Fangs!” Jughead compliments. “We’ll add it to the list of things we need to find.”

“Why can’t you leave now?” Kevin asks.

“It’s still cold at night…”

“Jug… We could do it though. If we survived the trip up here with two feet of snow, we can make it now.” I tell him. “The sooner the better, right?”

He turns his gaze toward me, surprised. “You want to leave sooner?”

“Yeah… I’m bored and I want to speed things up a little.”

“You sure?” He checks.

“I am Jug.”

“Pea?” He asks.

“I don’t have a problem with going… We should ask T though. She still had that cold…”

“I’ll go talk to her.” I volunteer kissing Jug on the cheek and leaving them with their work.

*** 

I knock on their door twice and wait for them to open.

“Coming!” Toni’s voice resounds from inside. “Betty! Everything’s okay?” She asks when she sees me.

“Can we talk?”

“Of course, come in! Cheryl’s making some Dandelion Tea, do you want some?”

“Why not! Thank you. Hey Cher!”

“Good afternoon Betty!” She welcomes me with a smile.

We sit on the couch. “So, what is it?”

“We were thinking about leaving sooner. The weather is nice and I’m so bored and tired of waiting… Are you feeling well enough?”

“I still sneeze sometimes but nothing bad. When?”

“In two days? We need to reach the truck as soon as we can and see if it’s working or not. If it is, the trip is going to be much shorter.”

“Okay then… Cher what do you think?”

She comes to us with mugs full of tea and sits beside her. “The sooner you leave the sooner you’ll come back. I think it’s a good idea… the weather is good enough.”

I sip on the tea, closing my eyes at the warmness spreading through my body. “I hope the truck works.” I sigh. “It could help a lot…”

“I wish phones still worked.” Cheryl adds airily. “We could be remain in touch…”

“Now that I think about it…” I say sitting up. “Jug and I stayed in a storage full of weapons and camping equipments. We could see if there are two-ways radios! I wouldn’t get an headache every time Jug leaves in search of new plants!”

“You two are too cute!” Cheryl chirps clapping her hands. “I’m so glad I was the first one to assist the start of your amazing love story!”

“I sure as hell wouldn’t have believed it was going to end up like it did!” Toni laughs. “At first I thought they were going to kill each other.”

“Yeah… He rubbed me the wrong way.” I tell Cheryl remembering that first day.

“He sure knows where to rub now huh?” She teases.

I blush deeply. “You’re impossible Cheryl.”

“Come on! I’m curious! You never tell us anything!” She exclaims loudly.

“You’re a pain the ass, do you know that?” I huff rolling my eyes. “I’ll tell you _one_ thing! Make the question good!”

“Betty, you don’t have to…” Toni interjects kindly.

“It’s okay T. Really…” I take one more sip of the scolding tea trying to calm my nerves.

“How many orgasms has he been able to give you in one night?” Her eyes are gleaming.

“Dammit Cher.” I grumble biting my lip. “Three. I don’t think I can go beyond that… Too sensitive.” I say looking down.

“He’s good!” Toni exclaims.

“You should try to resist! It could get sooo much better!” Cheryl tells me winking. “Right, T?”

“Oh yeah! Sooo much better.” She kisses her on the lips and I flush.

“I’m not sure I can resist… it kinda hurts at some point.” I murmur.

“Do what makes you comfortable, B! There’s nothing wrong with that.” Toni tells me reassuringly.

“He never pushes me into doing things I don’t want to do… He’s so sweet with me… Always. After our last discussion -a couple of months back- we’ve always managed to work things out and talk about our problems.”

“I never asked you about that!” Cheryl mentions. “What was it about?”

“Uhm… Nothing important, really. We talked about it and now we’re on the same page.”

“So evasive!”

“Let her be, Cheryl. It’s personal…” Toni comes to my defenses surprising her girlfriend.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to meddle… I’m just a curious person and I’ve always liked gossips. I’m trying to change though.”

“Don’t worry...” I smile. “Maybe I’ll tell you at some point, when there won’t be a reason not to talk about it.”

“Do you plan on talking about it soon?” Toni inquires.

“Not in the near future but… some days I feel more predisposed toward it than others.”

“Come on you guys!” Cheryl huffs. “You can’t talk about something I don’t know in front of me!”

We both laugh and Toni wraps an arm around her shoulders. “You’re right, Cher. Sorry. We’ll get back on the argument once we’re on the road.”

Cheryl stands on her feet and stomps away. “I hate you both!”

“When I’m comfortable enough to talk about it I'm going to tell you. Alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever!”

I smile looking at the fiery girl, amused. “I think I’m going now. I still need to sort out the new plants Jug has brought home this morning. We need to remember to find containers to store the herbs and some jars if we’re lucky.”

“Got it. I wish we had a pen to write things down but we do with what we have right?”

“Right… I’m going. Thank you for the tea Cheryl!”

She smiles tightly. “Thank you for the chat.”

I leave the house chuckling. That girl is something else.

“Took you long enough!” Jughead says scaring the shit out of me.

“Are you crazy? You scared me!” I exclaim punching him on the arm.

He laughs loudly, taking me by the waist and dragging me against his chest. “Sorry, love. I didn’t mean to scare you this much.”

“I don't believe you and I hate you!” I grumble against his neck.

“No, you don’t.” He chuckles.

“But I could!” I argue.

“Let’s get home, I want to stay with you for some time. What took you so long?”

“Cheryl made Dandelion Tea and she offered some. Oh and Toni agrees to move up our departure.”

“Yeah Kevin’s right. Why wait?”

We enter our cabin and I immediately go to the pile of herbs on the kitchen counter. It’s mainly Dandelion and Nettles. “I don’t know how you managed to collect those. My hands are still itching.”

“I used a rug. I should have told you, I’m sorry. Let me see.” He says grasping my wrists.

“They’re just itching I swear.”

He kisses them. “This is the only side effects. Nettles are useful for many things.”

“Such as?” I inquire curiously, fascinated by his learning ability. I wrap my arms around his neck.

“They contain high vitamins A, C and K. Calcium, Potassium and Iron.” He lists nosing my jaw. “Also, they can be made into a tea and drunk during pregnancy to fight exhaustion.”

“So smart.” I kiss him. “I like that you’re getting so prepared… Maybe I’m not doing enough. I should help you.”

“Don’t worry about it. I like taking care of you and if that’s one of the ways I can do that… I’m glad to keep doing it.”

I close my eyes, leaning my forehead against his. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts.

“What is it? I’m sorry if I brought it up again…” He murmurs.

I shake my head. “It’s okay. I’m just having many thoughts right now that I still can’t comprehend. Maybe getting away for a while is going to help me…”

“If you want to talk to me about it you know you can, right?”

“I know Jug. I just need some time to put things in order then I’ll come to you… Okay?”

“Okay. If you get overwhelmed-”  
  
“I don’t think I will but I’ll come straight to you.”

“Good.” He kisses me slowly.

“Where’s Bob?” I ask him.

“With Sweet Pea and Veronica for the night.”

“I shouldn’t even have to ask! He’s always there!”

He laughs. “Are you jealous now?”

I shrug. “Sometimes I miss having him with me… But now I have you and _your cuddles_ are always more fun than his…”

“I would hope so!”

I sigh and kiss him one more time before looking back at the herbs. “Will you help me put them away?”

“Yep! Of course I will wife.”

*** 

That night I have a nightmare. The first in a long time. I’m sweaty and terrified of the darkness surrounding me. I don’t even remember what it was about but the fear woke me up.

“Jug…”.

“Mm?”

“Can you turn the lamp on please?”

I feel him turn toward me and sit on the bed. “What is it?”

“A nightmare… I need some light…” I whisper.

It takes him a minute to turn the light on and get back beside me. “What was it about?”

“I can’t remember… I woke up scared.”

“Let’s lay back down. Come on…” He drags me with him and I nestle against his side, holding him closer.

I shut my eyes, focusing on synchronizing my breathing to his. Shivers are running throughout my body, not the good kind. If only I could remember I would talk about it…

“What were you thinking about before falling asleep?” He asks quietly into the barely lit room. “You said you had many thoughts whirling around your head…” His hand is brushing the hair away from my sweaty forehead.

“I don’t think the nightmare had anything to do with that…”

“Betts… We need to talk about it, or you won’t be able to get back to sleep. In two days will be on the road. You need to be well rested.”

“I know… It’s just that… I’m not sure if telling you this is going to change anything at all.”

“Try. Okay? I won’t judge you…”

I sigh, looking up at him. His lips look soft. “I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of days now… about the future. The last couple of months I’ve been so relaxed. I haven’t heard my mother’s voice once. So, I’ve started to think about… what you wanted and suddenly it wasn’t so scary anymore. I’m not saying that I’m anywhere near ready to have that, Jug, but… it’s getting easier to believe that I won’t be like her when the time comes…”

He shifts so that he’s face to face with me. “I never had doubts about that. Don’t think too much about this alright?”

I nod smiling. “It’s just getting more and more real with every passing day.” I take his hand in mine. “And it’s a sentiment that gets stronger whenever we’re like this, in the privacy of our home.”

“Betts…”

“Let me finish? Please?”

He nods quickly.

“What I’m trying to say is that I’m still scared but not because I fear to become like my mother. It’s a more concrete fear now… more normal. What if they’ll hate me? What if we can’t give them what they need? I think I’m slowly letting go of my mom’s ghost Jug. Not completely but… I’m getting there.”

He kisses me quickly before hugging me tightly to himself. “I love you…”

“Are you crying?” I ask surprised.

“Yeah.” He sniffles. “I think I am.”

“Jug…” I kiss him all over the face. “Why?”

“It’s getting real for me too.”

“Are you scared?”

“Not as much as I should maybe…”

“We still have time. I’m not really there yet-”  
  
“It’s okay. I’m just glad you felt comfortable enough to talk about it. Do you think the nightmare had something to do with this?”

I frown. “Maybe. I wish I could remember… But maybe it’s better this way. You can turn the lamp off now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I am. Don’t worry Juggie.”

He does that and turns back toward me. We move around so that his chest is pressed against my back, his cheek against mine and his arms wrapped around me. It’s comfortable. Suddenly the weight holding me down has lifted and falling asleep is much easier than I thought.


	30. Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She hugs me tightly. “I admire you so much. Your strength and desire to move forward even if we live in this fucked up world."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate to tell you guys this but I broke two fingers of my dominant hand the other day and for this reason I'm afraid I won't be able to update every day… at least as long as it hurts like it does now. I'm still going do my best and try to update every other day or so!💪 Two broken fingers won't really stop me! They'll just slow me down a bit!
> 
> Anyway… You're going to find some MATURE CONTENT!

Try as I might I can't seem to remember what the nightmare was about.  
The day before getting on the road we all try to make a mental list of everything we could need from now on. The guys are thinking about the more work related things while us girls are listing medical things and whatever could be used for the house and the personal care.

“Cute clothes please! I don’t care about the size but… please?” Veronica almost begs. “I still care about my aspect somehow! Even if we’re trying to survive in a post-apocalyptic world!”

I chuckle. “We’ll see what we can find. Remember that we need to be practical, V. Clothes for winter, clothes for summer and for the middle seasons. Boots… what else?”

“Maybe some scissors? If you’re able to find them… these hair are getting on my nerves.” Cheryl scoffs.

“What? No! No! I forbid you to cut them!” Toni exclaims. “Not even an inch!”

“I’m sorry? Since when I am yours to command?”

Toni blinks. “I just meant that I like your hair but of course you can cut them if you think it’s the right thing.”

“That’s better!”

I exchange a glance with Veronica, trying very hard not to laugh. I clear my voice. “What else?”

“A brush?” V questions.

“Yeah… that’s something I badly miss.” I grumble. “I don’t want to cut my hair because it’s way simpler for me to braid them but I need to tame these locks somehow.”

“We’ll look for brushes too.” Toni agrees. “What about tampons?”  
  
“I’d say reusable pads. They’re our best choice now. We can wash them every time, as disgusting as it sounds…” Cheryl says making a face. “My grandmother made me buy them for her at the pharmacy.”

“Added to the list.” I nod.

“You said we need to search for recipients and jars, Betts. Right?”

“Yep. For our herbs and everything that can be made with them and our future vegetables.”

“Also…” Toni says looking at me and Veronica. “We need to have a real chat here about something.”  
  
“Why do I suddenly feel like I’m back in elementary school and waiting to be scolded by my mother?” She asks nervously.

“We need to talk about precaution, V. What are you gonna do? You two are the ones with the highest risk of getting pregnant. Are you ready to deal with something like that?”

I bite my lip, not sure what to tell in front of them.

“I am a hundred percent sure I don’t want to get pregnant.” She exclaims almost terrified. “Pea and I are being as careful as we can be. Betty?”

“Uhm. Yeah we are too of course.”

“Casualties happen though so I’m going to search books on the argument and get prepared just in case. How does that sounds?”

“It sounds okay.” I murmur. “I could ask Jug to look for a plant that can work as a contraceptive or… as a plan B. You know what I mean.”

“That’s an amazing idea Betty!” V chirps hugging me. “We are on the low with condoms and you know… I was going to ask you to look for them but they still won’t last forever.”

“We’ll look anyway.”

“Okay! Is the real talk over now?” Cheryl huffs. “As if any of them would want to get pregnant in this world!”  
  
I swallow my remark. Am I crazy to want something like this? Are me and Jug completely out of our minds?

“Cheryl.” Toni mutters. “Stop it.”

“Why? What did I say?”

“Can we please concentrate on the list?” She snaps. “We’re going to leave as soon as the sun rises and it’s already afternoon. We need to finish this thing and then I want to get some sleep.”

“Calm down! Jeez.” She rolls her eyes.

“Girls!” Veronica calls them out.

“Sorry.” They mutter at the same time. I hate that Toni’s fighting with her girlfriend for me.

“We need things for the future too…” I murmur. “Just in case… _If_ it happens we still have to be prepared.”

“There’s nothing better than a plan B kinda solution!” Veronica says matter-of-factly.

“Well… not for me.” I murmur.

Both hers and Cheryl's eyebrows raise ridiculously. “Really?”

I shrug. “Yeah.”

“Now I get it…” Cheryl says slowly. “The reason why you snapped at me, T. I hadn’t realized you and Jug were thinking about it, B. I’m sorry if I seemed insensitive…”

“I… We’ve talked about it just… _Not right now_. I mean… It’s for the future and we agreed that we would be prepared. Just in case.”

“Really?” Veronica asks once again.

“Yeah…”

She hugs me tightly. “I admire you so much. Your strength and desire to move forward even if we live in this fucked up world.”

I sniffle trying very hard to hold back the tears. “Thanks. I’m scared but… I don’t want to deny myself anything. Women and men did this for centuries… Why can’t we do it too?”

“We can do it Betts, together…” Toni reassures me. Cheryl’s smiling beside her. “You won’t be alone.”

I let my head fall against the small kitchen island and let the tears fall. The relief of knowing that we do have a support team is everything to me right now.  
They all hug me, making me laugh through the tears. That’s how Jughead finds us.

“What is happening? Betts?”

I wipe the tears away, smiling at him. “Nothing. Everything’s fine… we were just talking.”

“Why are you all looking at me like that?” He frowns.

“You’re just too sweet.” Veronica says.

“Okay. What is going on?”

I stand and go to him. “Nothing. Believe me, alright? You have nothing to worry about. Do you need anything?”

The frown doesn’t leave his face. “Just coming to check if you were at a good point… we’re almost done.”

“We still need to list a couple of things. You can go home if you want… Cheryl and Toni will walk with me.”

He moves his eyes toward the smiling girls and shivers. “Alright…” He mumbles. “Are you sure everything’s fine? They’re acting weird.”

I kiss him lightly on the mouth. “Everything’s fine. Promise.”

“Alright…” He turns to walk away but stops. “Could you not make her cry? Thanks.”

He leaves shutting the door without giving them the time to answer. They just burst into a laugh and I roll my eyes.

“He pretended to be this bad dangerous guy when in all truth he’s a fluffy bear!” Veronica laughs.

“I can guarantee you he’s not.” Toni sniggers. “Betty changed him but deep down he still has that dark side I hope we won’t need to see anytime soon…”

“Yeah… I hope too.” I murmur sitting back down. “Can we get back on that list now?”

“I’d say that I’m going to think about every medical thing then… Do you trust me?” Toni asks me directly.

“I do.” And that startles me so much that it must be visible on my face because she blinks several times and smiles.

“You’re taking big steps forward with your getting the pieces back together B.”

“It seems so…”

“Anyway… We need maybe a sewing kit?” Cheryl proposes. “To mend our clothes.”

“Good idea, Cher.”

“You know T, we should probably go straight to the bookstore when we get there. We’ll spend some time reading through the books to have a general idea of what we need and then go look for it… We can't know for sure now.” I propose sighing. “My mind is empty right at this moment. I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.”

“Didn’t you sleep last night?” Veronica inquires.

“I had a stupid nightmare.” I grumble. “And I can’t even remember what it was about.”

“Sometimes they just happen…” Cheryl sighs. “I still dream about my brother’s death. It’s exhausting.”

“Do you always remember them?” I ask.

“I remember the sadness and the deep sense of missing something… I almost can’t remember his features even if we were twin brothers. We weren’t identical, so…”

“I still remember my mother…” I murmur. “I’m not sure I’ll ever get rid of her… Not entirely at least.”

“You’re making progresses, that’s for sure.” Cheryl smiles kindly.

“Thanks. And… I’m sorry if Toni fought with you for me… She was just being a friend.”

“And I _love her_ for that! There was a reason behind her attitude and looking out for a friend is the best thing someone could do.”

“You love me?” Toni asks surprised.

“Of course I do, silly.” She kisses her hotly and Veronica and I jump away from our seats.

“Okay!” V exclaims. “Since this is my house, I can’t really leave it to you! But you can take that to yours! I’ll walk Betty home. When I’m back I don’t want to see any of this! Not that I don’t like what I’m seeing but… _it’s my kitchen_ and I still haven’t done anything on it. Leave me the privilege!”

We all fold in a half from laughing. “Alright alright. We’re going! Stay. We’re walking her home, don’t worry!” Toni jokes.

*** 

I’m still chuckling when I enter my house. “Jug?”

“Up here!”

“What are you doing?”

“Just relaxing.” His head pops up from behind the railing. “Want to join me for a while?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

I get upstairs in record time and snuggle against his side. “I’ve missed you today.”

He kisses my forehead. “Me too.”

“I need to ask you something. Veronica made me think about it and maybe you could work on it?”

“What has she schemed this time?” He sighs.

“She asked if you could look for a contraceptive herb… Do you think it exists?”

“Everything exists in nature but I’m not sure if the books we have here address something like this… We can add this to the list of things we need to look for.”

“Alright… Seems fair.” I yawn.

“Are you tired?”

“Yeah. I’m feeling the effects of last night's nightmare… I’ll sleep like the dead tonight. I’m sure.”

He snorts. “That’s an image I did not need in my head.”

I roll on my belly and cross my arms over his chest, looking at him. “Can I tell you something?”

“You can tell me anything.” He smiles.

“I told the girls about us wanting to try for a baby at some point… I mean… We’re going with Sweet Pea, he was bound to see baby stuff…”

“Yeah… You’re probably right… That’s why they were looking at me so strangely and the reason you were crying! Did they make you feel bad?”

I shake my head quickly. “No. They were very supportive… I’m so relieved, Jug. I didn’t know I needed it.”

He plays with the fingers of one of my hands and smiles. “How did it come up?”

“Toni brought up the medical stuff. Cheryl said that no one could be crazy enough to want a child in this world and T defended me, snapped at her girlfriend and made me feel bad. So… I told them that we still should get prepared for the future… Just in case. They connected the dots.”

“If you felt like that was the right thing to do I totally support you…” He says holding my hand against his chest.

“Do you think we’re crazy to think about doing something like this?”

“I don’t think that wanting to create something better is crazy…”

“I know… I’m just still a bit insecure…”

“Betts… We have time. Okay? I know I said that time isn’t a luxury but I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to. When you feel confident and healed enough we’ll start talking about it…”

I nod and he kisses me unhurriedly making me tingle all over, as usual.  
  
I sit up a little, getting more comfortable and straddle him. “I want you…”

He rolls us over, settling between my legs. “I always want you…”

We kiss for a while, sometime pulling off a piece of clothes but we don’t feel the urgency to get to it. We’re savoring the moment as it is.

When he enters me, he does it with such care that my heart expands tenfold. I seal my lips over his, overwhelmed by this sudden tenderness we both want the other to feel. There are just more reasons for us to feel this way now.

He lifts one of my legs higher, getting deeper inside but not going any faster. I moan into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and holding him tighter against my body. “More…” I whimper.

“More?”

I nod quickly, looking into his eyes. He bites my bottom lip lightly and gets on his elbows, gaining a bit more leverage without speeding things up. I see stars. There’s something so passionate in what we’re doing that doesn’t need to be expressed with words. I don feel the need to get _there_ right away… It’s more about the connection existing between us.  
  
He touches me everywhere he can, not leaving behind one single spot. “You’re so soft…” He murmurs against my lips.

I smile, trembling slightly from the strain of holding back. I kiss him, moving my hips a little bit faster. My clit bumps against his body at every movement and I sink my nails into his shoulders. I almost sob when the feelings get almost too much for me to bear… “J-Jug…”

He just rolls us over, me on top, my hands over his chest and his squeezing my hips tightly. “Take what you need.” He whispers.

I stare at him when I start circling my hips, seeing the moment his control snaps. He can’t keep still; I don’t want him to keep still. So we move together… keeping the slow, deep and fulfilling pace until the friction is just too intense and I come in a shuttering orgasm that takes all the breath away from my lungs.

He gets back on top without leaving my body, thrusting a little bit harder so that he can fall over the edge too. I dig the heal of one of my feet into his lower back, keeping him as close to me as I can and savoring the lasts of my orgasms.  
He comes with a sigh that resounds everywhere inside my body. I’m not sure if I want to cry or laugh or shout right now… What I’m feeling is just so intense that I can’t believe it’s real.  
  
He leaves small kisses all over the side of my neck where he’s still nestled. “That was amazing…”

“Y-yes…” I stutter. “It was…”

“Now I’m hungry!” He laughs looking down at me.

“I’m too tired to eat…” I murmur already feeling my eyes close.

He moves away from me, making me flinch slightly. He covers me and kisses my forehead. “Then sleep… It’s going to be a long week for us.”

“Yeah…” I sigh. “Goodnight Juggie.”

His lips touch mine one last time and that’s the last thing I feel.  


*** 

_There’s something missing. What did I forget? Where’s Jughead? I open my eyes and suddenly I’m back into my room, the all-white and pink one that my mother furnished for me when I was just a baby. Panic spreads throughout my entire body and I scramble out of the bed, trying to understand why am I here._

_“Jug?”_

_My voice echoes all around me. There’s no one. The nagging feeling of having forgotten something is devastating._

_“Elizabeth.” The cold voice I thought I had forgotten calls me. “You’re a shame to me. What have you gotten yourself into? I’m going to send you away!” Her hands grab my wrists._

_“You can’t be here…” I murmur. “You can’t be here!”_

_She starts dragging me away with her, her hands on me starting to hurt. “You won’t ever see them again. Ever again.”_

_My friends? “Leave me alone!” I yank my arm away from her grasp and tumble backwards. “Leave me alone!” I shout._

_“You’re a shame Betty.” She laughs. “You shouldn’t even have existed. You were just a mistake. Like everything you’re doing is. Mistakes. One after the other.”_

_The tears fall before I can stop them and I close my fists tightly, feeling that familiar sting starting to spread. “I h-hate y-you. I won’t ever be like you!”_

__  
  
“Betty!”

I wake with a start. Jug’s hands are holding mine open and I feel shame overcome me. “I-I’m s-sorry.”

“Don’t say you’re sorry!” He exclaims intertwining our fingers together. “What happened?”

“I dreamt her, Jug. Her voice, her face… it was like she was here with me. Taunting me, telling me I’m a mistake and everything I’m doing is a m-mistake. She wanted to t-take me away from y-you…” I sob.

“Hey, take a deep breath. Please? For me?” He helps me sit up on the bed and holds me closer. “She’s not here. She’s dead and she can’t control you. I am here, I won’t leave you and you’re not making any mistakes… _You’re living, Betts!_ You’re just living.”

I nod into his chest, wetting the shirt he had put on during the night. He put something on me too. “I don’t want to be a mistake…”

“You are not a mistake! Betty… what aren’t you telling me?”

“She always told me I was a mistake. She didn’t love me, Jug. She just… _hated_ me!”

“You won’t be like her…” He murmurs. “You won’t be like her. Say it.”

That strikes me right into the heart. “I won’t be like her.”

“Do you believe it?”

“I want to believe it…”

“You won’t be like her.” He repeats strongly. “Say it again and believe it.”

“I-I won’t be like her.”

“I knew the nightmare was about this… You just couldn’t remember… Betts, are you sure you want to do this? Have a child… at some point?”

“I am! I swear I am! I’m just fighting with the part of myself that’s still influenced by my mother’s words… But I know I won’t be like her. _I can’t be like her!_ She put me through hell… I want to be what my child will need me to be. I hate her for everything she did…”

“Do you think you’ve eradicated that fear from your mind now? Definitely?”

I wipe my cheeks and sigh. “I hope. I don’t always control my thoughts…”

“You didn’t hurt yourself…” He whispers. “I held your hands just for precaution.”

I look at my palms, surprised. “I could swear I felt the sting…”

“You didn’t even try to close them.” He reassures me. “You’re okay Betty… You’re on the right path…”  
  
I blink back the tears and hug him tightly. “Thank you, for being here with me…”

“Where else could I be?”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	31. On The Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We turn toward them. Toni is sitting on the only small chair there is in the room while Sweet Pea is trying to grab some of her hair.  
> “I just wanted to braid your hair! Please! Let me braid your hair!” Pea insists seriously.  
> “Pea! You’re a pain in the ass! Grow your fucking hair!”  
> “Didn’t know that was your secret passion Pea…” Jughead teases him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some MATURE CONTENT.

We leave early the following morning with our backpacks full of clothes, food and water. There are still small heaps of snow around, but the way is completely clear. The sun is high, the weather is cold but not freezing cold as when we first arrived here and the mood is light. If everything goes as we wish, we should arrive at the houses in two days. Even less since we’re moving faster now.

“I was starting to have a major case of cabin fever!” Sweet Pea whines after a while. “I couldn’t wait to do something more than just lay around, plan for things and sort through piles of herbs I know nothing about!”

“If you had read the books like Jughead did you’d probably know more!” Toni scolds him.

“It is precisely because I knew Jughead was studying them that I decided not to read those books! You know how boring that was?”

“Pea…” Jughead sighs. “If you want to survive in this world you need to start compromising with what you want to do and what is needed. Toni isn’t a doctor but she’s studying her ass off to be helpful. What is it that you plan to do in the future?”

“Once we have everything we need I’ll start digging our gardens and do what every good farmer does!”

“Alright Pea, alright.” Toni huffs. “Betts… Let’s leave them to their discussion!”

I laugh quietly. I don’t want to offend Sweet Pea after all. “I wish we were already back home with everything we need.” I tell her while we follow the guys step for step, mindful of where we put our feet. There are roots and holes everywhere.

“Let’s hope the truck works!” She exclaims. “So… Did you tell Jug the girls know about your future plans?”

“Yeah.” I smile. “He’s happy we have your support.”

“I still think you are both a little crazy but… it’s also beautiful!” She says truthfully. “Was it something you’ve always wanted? A family, I mean…”

I heave a deep sigh. “Well. I’m not sure. It was the plan, of course. Leave for college, find a husband that suited my mother’s expectations and have children… I would have done anything to get away from her. Even marry someone I didn’t love.”

“That’s really sad, Betty.”

“I realize it is. Who knows… maybe I would have still met Jughead.”

“I don’t have a doubt! Soulmates are destined to find each other at some point.”

“Have you ever met someone like us?”

She shakes her head. “Not really, but my grandad used to tell me many stories about them… I never doubted of their existence.”

“Why wasn’t it a known thing? I knew nothing about it before it happened to me…”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I believe it was like a taboo or something… Who knows.”

“Yeah… What about you and Cheryl?”

“No marks! But we still love each other.”  
  
“It’s very clear that you do.” I smile. “You’re kinda cute together. Especially when you fight. It’s hilarious.”

She laughs. “Yeah! We’re both very passionate but it’s almost always harmless.”

“I haven’t told you this yet but… thank you for trying to protect me. I felt bad that you had to fight with Cheryl…”

 “Don’t worry, really. It’s what friends do! Isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Sweet Pea exclaims exploding into a loud laugh.

“Hush! Sweet Pea! Do you want to attract every wild, dangerous animal of the state?” Jughead scolds him.

“What happened?” I ask curious.

“I told him the plan.” He mutters glaring at an almost crying Sweet Pea.

“Which plan?”

“ _Our plan…_ ”

“Oh! That plan! Why is he laughing?”

“I’m not sure! He still hasn’t said a thing beside laughing his ass off.” He grumbles. “Will you stop?”

“Sorry! Sorry! Are you being serious?” He questions drying the tears from his eyes.  
  
“We are, actually.” I tell him.

He snaps his head toward me, surprised. “Really? I thought you were joking Jug!”

“I was not. Why are we even friends? I won’t ever tell you anything from now on.”

“No, wait… I’m sorry! It’s just…” He turns toward a smirking Toni. “ _Really?_ ”

“Yeah Pea. Really.”

“Shit! What happened to you, man?”

“That’s offensive.” He mutters not looking up from the ground.

“I didn’t mean to! It’s just… First you get married and now you want a family… It’s _new!_ ”

“I want to have a better life. Is it so strange?” He snaps irritated. I hasten my steps so that I’m beside him and take his hand. He squeezes it.

“Actually… it is. But not in a bad way! I just can’t believe it… Betty, you changed him real good!”

“We changed each other.”

“Well… I can’t wait to be an uncle!” He exclaims laughing. He slaps Jughead over his shoulder and ruffles my already disheveled hair.

“Don’t get too anxious about it. We’re still talking about this. No pressure. We could even change our minds.” He mutters.

We all fall silent. I know he’s pissed at him for whatever reason but… _Really?_ Did he really have to say something like that. I frown and bite my lip. He should use his head even when he’s in a bad mood.

“Shit…” He murmurs throwing an arm around my shoulders and pressing his mouth against my ear. “I didn’t mean it.”

“You sure?” I snap back whispering. “Tell me before it actually happens if you change your mind.” I shake his arm off me and get back beside Toni. She’s frowning too.

“You okay?” She asks.

“Yeah.” I mutter. “He has to start using his head, though.”

*** 

We reach the first cabin before it gets completely dark. Since the little argument we couldn’t really get back to our light mood and the tension was so thick it could have been cut with a fucking spoon.  
I sit outside in the back of the house for a while, trying to relax my nerves. I lean my head against the wall and take deep breaths.  
Footsteps alert me that someone’s coming but I don’t open my eyes because I know it’s him.

“Betty…” He murmurs sitting down beside me. He tries to take one of my hands, but I snatch it away. “Betts…”

I snap my eyes open, glaring at him. “That shit you pulled has pushed back whichever plan I had started to get through my damn head.”

He closes his eyes, rubbing his hands over his face. “I’m sorry. I obviously didn’t mean it! You know how I feel about it!”

“Do I?”

“Yes. You should!” He snaps.

“Then why did you say that? Because he pissed you off? Or because you’re embarrassed that you’re not considered the mean bad boss anymore?”

“Betty!” He exclaims. “You know that’s not it! I just wanted to shut him up.”

“Why did you tell him in the first place then? Why? You know how he is! All he said was that he can’t wait to be an uncle… He didn’t say anything wrong!”

“I felt pressured and believed you felt that way too and I just snapped! Okay? I don’t know why I said that, but I didn’t mean it! Please, can you believe me?”

“Jug… I do believe you, but you can’t just say things because you feel trapped or pressured! When the time comes, if your child bugs you about the smallest thing and you’re in a bad mood what are you gonna do? Snap at him or her? It doesn’t work like that. Maybe we need to reconsider this plan of ours…”

“Betts… Please…” He begs taking my face between his hands. “I want this! I do! With everything I have in me! And of course, I’m not perfect but I swear I’ll try my best to be!”

I look into his eyes. He’s desperate. That I can clearly see. “I don’t need you to be perfect Jughead! That’s not what I want! You have to stop saying things just because… I won’t accept it. And I know you didn’t mean it, Jug. I knew as soon as the words came out of your mouth…”

He sighs leaning his forehead against mine. “Can you forgive me? Have I really pushed back everything we’ve talked about?” His voice is little and broken.

I shake my head. “You didn’t, Jug. And of course, I can forgive you.” I kiss him lightly. “Just promise me you’ll start using your head a little bit more?”

He hides his face into the crook of my neck and nods. “I’m sorry. I thought I had ruined everything.”

I hug him tightly. “You didn’t. Okay?”

He lifts his head, kissing my jaw and slowly moving up toward my lips. We get lost in the kiss for a while, comforted by the fast approaching darkness and the relative privacy.

“I need you…” He whimpers hotly against my ear. His hands are already fumbling over the button of my trousers and I nod, knowing he’s desperate to touch me. I’m desperate too.

“We need to be quiet…” I whisper. “And quick-” A moan leaves my mouth before I can finish the sentence. His fingers are already rubbing quickly against my nub.

He pushes the trousers down my legs until they reach my ankles and makes me straddle him. It’s not very comfortable but we’ll make do. One of his hands pushes the crotch of my panties to the side and then he’s inside, his mouth swallowing the moan I so wanted to let go.  
It’s fast and dirty and he does most of the job because I really can’t move this way. He takes one of my hands pushing it between us.

“Touch yourself. I’m too wound up to last.” He growls.

I do exactly that unable to be as quiet as I should but not really caring. I move my fingers over my clit, trying to keep up with his fast pace.  
When he moans that he’s going to come I’m so on edge that I come right away, biting his jacket to keep the sounds leaving my mouth down.  
  
He thrusts a couple more times and then he trembles underneath me. “Shit.” He groans. “Shit.”

I laugh, still trembling. “We should fight more often…”

“No. I hate it. Love the sex but hate fighting with you…”

He helps me move away from his lap and we fix ourselves up as quickly as we can. The night has already fallen, I’m sure Toni and Sweet Pea are wondering where we are… Not unless they have heard us, of course!

I'm zipping my pants up when he suddenly curses.

“What is it?” I ask.

His face is set into a worried look.

“Jug?” I glance around us, to see if maybe he saw something I didn’t but there’s nothing out here.

“Fuck.” He curses. “ _Fuck!_ ” He grabs his hair with an hand and squats, staring at the ground between his feet.

I kneel in front of him, worried. “Jughead! What happened?”

“We’re screwed! Badly!” He exclaims. Panic clear in his voice. He looks up at me, eyes wide. “Shit... Betty.”

“What?” I ask confused.

He opens his hand. “It broke… The fucking condom is broken!”

My mouth hangs open and every possible response gets sucked away into the void that has taken residence inside my head. I just keep staring at the condom in his hand.

“Betts…” He calls me quietly. “Betts… Say something? Please?”

“I…” I don’t know what to say. What should I say? What am I supposed to say? I sit on the ground. “Shit.”

“I-I’m sorry-” He almost whimpers throwing it away with force.

I take the hand that's still pulling at his hair before he can rip them off. “It’s not your fault. It just happened… Okay?” I whisper. “And… It doesn’t mean anything. We’ll just have to wait and see…”

“Betty…” He says confused. “Yesterday you said you weren’t ready-”

“Jughead.” I almost snap. “I’m _still not ready!_ But… We’ll get through this anyway. Right?”

He holds me tightly; I didn’t realize I had started shaking. “It’s going to be okay. Let’s keep it to ourselves, okay?”

I nod leaning my cheek against his shoulder. _Shit._ I think I’m in shock.

*** 

When we get back inside the cabin Toni and Sweet Pea are talking to each other quietly. She gazes at us and frowns.

“Hey, everything’s okay?”

I nod smiling tightly.

“Yeah. It is. Don’t worry.” Jughead tells her slowly. “Have you eaten?”

“Yes, sorry… We were hungry. Your food is by the fire.” Sweet Pea says before sharing a glance with Toni.

We sit in front of the fireplace and eat in silence. My mind is full of nothing right now.  
Jug is glued to my side and I can perceive his concern. What have we done? Are we going to be okay?

“What day is it?” I ask him quietly.

“Not sure… Halfway through the month?”

“Where’s the calendar?”

“Inside my backpack. I’ll take it.” He stands, goes straight to it and brings it back. He rummages around its content until he finds what we need and takes it out. When I asked him to make a calendar for our cabin, he decided to create a smaller version of it. “When should it come?” He asks.

“In ten days…” I sigh. “How could this happen? After all the times we did it...”

“I don't know Betty.” He sighs. “I- I really don't.”  
  
“Damn it…” I mutter.

“If… If it happens… What are we gonna do?”

I look at him, trying to hide the fact that I’m scared. I'm not sure I'm suceeding very well. It hasn’t even been an hour since our fight and doubts are still crawling under the surface. “I don’t know. What are you thinking?”

“I’m afraid you’re going to resent me because you keep saying you’re not ready and… I still want this. I told you. But not if it’s going to hurt you…”

Tears fall down my cheeks. “Jug.” I whisper. “I will _never_ resent you! First of all, we have to keep in mind that my period is still very messed up. But in case it happens… I still want this too. It’s sooner than I expected but… At least we were talking about it and… We’re on the same page.”

He fists his hair and pulls. “I’m so stupid. I’ve ruined everything… I could have kept it in my pants for once!”

“Jughead! Stop it!” I scold him quietly. “It's not your fault! I wanted you too...”

“Yes but I should have been more careful.”

“Please, please, can we pretend nothing happened for now? Can we go on this road trip and think about what we need to do? We’re preparing Jug. We’re going to bring home everything we need!”

He snorts. “I should be the one reassuring you…”

“I’m sure you’ll get your chance!” I kiss him quickly.

“How are you so calm?”

“I am not. Internally I’m freaking out but there’s no need now… What’s done is done.”

“You’re much more mature than I am… and you’re younger!”

I smile, hugging him. “I’ve always known that!”

He wraps his arms around me, tightly.

“Can I _please_ burst your bubble? Sweet Pea is annoying the shit out of me!”

We turn toward them. Toni is sitting on the only small chair there is in the room while Sweet Pea is trying to grab some of her hair.

“I just wanted to braid your hair! Please! Let me braid your hair!” Pea insists seriously.

“Pea! You’re a pain in the ass! Grow your fucking hair!”

“Didn’t know that was your secret passion Pea…” Jughead teases him.

“I want to prepare!” He exclaims. “I mean… for _when and if_ you two decide to have a child! I want to be the best!”

I can’t help but laugh, loudly. “You’re something else, Pea.”

Toni swats his hands away, glaring at us. “Don’t encourage him! See what you’ve done?" She tells us. "He’s become mashed potatoes!”

“Hey now! I‘m not mashed potatos!” He grumbles.

“You kind of are.” Jughead smirks shaking his head. “But yeah… I am too, so. Do whatever the hell you want.”

He squints at his friend. “Yeah. I think I can see the resemblance to a _very_ mashed potato!”

Toni laughs but scowls right back at him when he tries to reach for her locks. “I’m going to cut your hands off!”

“I’ll tell you when you need to start preparing, Pea. Alright? Don’t stress our only doctor out!” I smile defending my new and very dear friend.

“Thank you, Betty!” She sighs.

He deflates instantly and crosses his arms over his chest. “Alright. Just give me some notice!”

“Don’t worry, you’ll know Pea.” Jug sighs exhausted. “Let’s sleep. We need to get on the road as soon as the sun is up.”  
  
We lay down in front of the simmering fire and throw a couple of plaids over ourselves. Toni and Pea settle right beside us.

“Keep your hands to yourself!” Toni snaps making me smile.

“I was just trying to find a comfortable position!” He grumbles. “You’re moody, T.”

“You tried to scalp me for the better part of the evening. Let me be moody.”

“You always are…” He snorts.

“Pea!” Jughead scolds. “Keep that attitude going and you’re going to sleep outside.”

“Sorry, boss. Goodnight.”

Silence falls upon us, my eyes close on their own volition and I snuggle into Jug’s side. His hand’s drawing figures on my cheek, lulling me to sleep. I’m almost there… it won’t take long even if my thoughts are all over the place.

“Ouch! I didn’t do anything!” Sweet Pea startles me and Jug both. I feel him growl under my cheek.

“Payback’s a bitch. Goodnight.” Toni snaps and turns on her side.

I suppress the laughter and close my eyes once again. Yeah, it’s going to be okay.


	32. Cockroaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How is it possible that all the good people die and scums like them do not?”  
> “They’re like cockroaches. They won’t ever disappear.” Jughead grunts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll find some VIOLENCE in this chapter.

The following morning I wake up terrified. As much as I pretended to be calm and resolute, dreams of all sort haunted me all night. Not bad dreams but still creepy enough to not let me rest.  
I turn on my back and stare up at the ceiling. _Fuck._ Rationally I know it could be difficult for me to get pregnant but I do have my period. I don’t know what to think.

“You okay?” Jug whispers into my ear.

I shrug. “Not sure… It’s starting to dawn on me only now.”

“We’ll get through this. I promise.” He sneaks an arm under my back and hugs me tightly to his side. “Do you think you’ll be able to get back on the road?”

“Yes. If I don’t I think I could go out of my fucking mind.”

“Then it’s time to go. The sooner we leave, the sooner we arrive.”

I sigh. “Can I ask you something first?”

“Of course.”

“We never really disposed of… Elio’s body. Do you think it’s still there?”

He frowns and tenses. “Probably. If it hasn’t been eaten by animals.”

“We should have buried him…” I murmur.

“Yeah. We should have. We will if he’s still there. Alright?”

I nod into his chest and kiss his cheek before sitting up. Toni and Sweet Pea are still snoring slightly; she has her feet up against his legs.

“I thought she warned him to keep his hands away.” I chuckle. “She didn’t keep her feet to herself.”

“Yeah she moves around way too much while she sleeps.”

I tend to forget they’ve been together at some point in their lives. “I noticed.”

“Pea! Toni! Up we go! It’s time to move!” Jughead exclaims snagging their covers away.

“You ass!” She growls. “This is no way to wake a lady.”

“Or a friend.” Pea grunts still half asleep. “I hate you.”

“We’re going to wait for you outside. Move your asses.”

“Jeez. What has crawled up your ass during the night?” T mutters while she tries to get up.

“Okay!” I exclaim. “That’s enough! Jug?”

He sighs and rubs his face. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“Let’s go outside. Take your time you two.” I take the plaids and my backpack and follow Jug to the door.

“I’m sorry…” He murmurs.

“We talked about this. Thinking about Elio stressed you out and it made you snap… Jug-”

“I know. I’ve noticed, I swear. And I apologized… I’m doing my best.”

I sigh touching his cheek. “It’ll take some time…”

He shakes his head and smiles. “I don’t know how you’re going to put up with me for the rest of our lives…”

I peck his lips. “You must be lucky…”

“Come on you guys! It’s morning! I haven’t even eaten and you’re already making out!” Sweet Pea grumbles as he comes out of the cabin followed by a scowling Toni.

“It was just a kiss. You want to see us making out?” Jug mocks him.

“No, for heaven’s sake! Let’s move!” Toni snaps moving away from us.

“They’re boys, T. Let them have their fun.” I laugh joining her.

“Jughead was able to wake me in the worst way possible.”

“He doesn’t always have a gentle touch in these things.”

“Oh I remember.” She snorts before snapping her head toward me, eyes wide. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that aloud!”

I shake my had smiling slightly. “Don’t worry. I’ve gotten used to it by now…”

“Still. I won't do that again.”

It must be a gangster thing. Doing before thinking.

*** 

I love the weather. It’s so warm. If I weren’t so worried about our possible _predicament_ I’d enjoy it more.  
We’ve been walking for more or less six, seven hours. We’ve already eaten, deciding not to stop for too long because we’d like to reach the houses as soon as possible.  
I’m listening to the others chat. For once Jughead seems relaxed around his friends and that’s something I didn’t know I needed to see. He’s always so tense and moody around them. I know he feels like he has the weight of the world over his shoulders. He feels responsible for them and me.

A branch snapping startles me out of my thoughts and I stop on my feet. They keep going, too loud to ear anything beside their own voices. I wish Bob was with us. Why did we leave him with the others? _“He’s going to protect them.”_ I remember Jug’s voice telling me.

“You are way too pretty to be with that group of goofs.” A woman’s voice makes the blood freeze into my veins. I turn back toward her quickly. Four or five men, leaded by a blond woman in her forties are all staring at me. She has a knife in her hand, just like her group of people. They seem rabid.  
She takes a step toward me and as a result I take one back. “Stay there.” I snap. “What do you want?”

“Everything you have!” She laughs. “We’re a big group, here, and we’re particularly hungry today. For _many things._ ”

The way she says that makes my skin crawl. “I don’t have anything to give you. We’re on the road exactly like you.”

She smirks, her eyes void of any emotion. “I think you’re lying. That’s a nice backpack you have there… And the ones on your friends' back were just as nice. So, don’t let me ask again. Give me your backpack and _maybe_ we’re going to let you go.”

“Boss!” One of the boys whines. “I want her for myself!”

“Maybe you can have her after all… Her friends left her here after all. She mustn’t have been all that important to them.”

I grab the hem of my jacket, trying my best to not close my fists and ruin everything I did in these months.  
  
Where is Jug? “Please…” I murmur. “I’ll give you everything… Just… let me go…”

She explodes into a loud laugh. “We’ll see about that!”

Her free hand grabs my left wrist and she forcefully drags me toward the group. I plant my feet on the ground and yell Jug’s name as loudly as I can but she's way too strong.

“He won’t come.” One of the guys sneers in my face when she throws me into his arms. He immediately goes for my ass.

“Let me go!” I shout and slap him right in the face. He growls and pushes me on the ground, scowling.

“She’s a bitch!”

The woman takes the backpack away from me and laughs. “She’s feisty enough. Maybe I’m gonna keep you after all.” She leans down and grabs the hair at the back of my neck. It hurts. I spit on her face.

A gunshot resounds around the area and one of the guys falls dead on the ground. A bullet right between his eyebrows. I don’t have the time to sigh in relief though because they all start falling like autumn leaves.  
I crawl away from the woman, trying to stand and run away but she grasps my ankle and drags me back toward her. I yell and kick, hitting her in the face and making her moan out in pain. Sweet Pea comes out from behind some bushes with Jug’s sledgehammer and starts taking out the rest of the men. I’m frozen in place. My backpack is on the ground between me and the woman. If I reach it, I could take the gun out and be useful. That’s what I should do but I’m stuck on the ground… scared and shaking.  
I see Jug walking quickly toward me but he stops where the woman is still holding her bloody nose. At least I was able to hurt her.  
My ears are ringing.  
Jug’s face is unreadable. His mouth is set into a hard line and his eyes are as black as a starless night.  
  
The woman looks up at him and laughs. “That’s your bitch?”

His hand tightens around the gun. “That’s my _wife_.” He seethes leaning down. “You tried to take her away from me. Now I’m going to take something away from you.”

“Those men mean nothing to me. You can kill them all if you want.”

He straightens right away and in the blink of an eye he shoots at every single one of the still breathing men laying around. Blood is everywhere. It’s all I can see, beside the glacial expression on my husband’s face. A hand on my shoulders makes me jump, a whimper leaving my mouth.

“It’s me Betty.” Toni says carefully, holding her hands up. I look up at her eyes, but my gaze turns back toward the scene evolving in front of me. I knew he had a dark side. Toni told me many times… but seeing this side of him is startling.

“There.” He says coldly. “Since you didn’t care about them. I made the world a favor.”

“And now? What are you gonna do?” She asks still smirking. I hate her face.

“Depends.”

“On what?” She laughs.

“Pea.” He says quietly turning his back on her and looking at me. His eyes are unreadable. “Toni, take her away.”

“No!” I shout slapping her hands away. “No!”

He stares at me and for a moment I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to see the kind, sweet man I’ve decided to marry just a month ago. “Betty.” He snaps.

“I said no!” The tears fall and he blinks. There. _Jug._  
  
He squats in front of me and brushes his free hand against my face. The flinching doesn’t go undetected by neither Toni nor him. He retreats it as quickly. “Please, Betts…” He murmurs gently, eyes still dark but softer.

“No, please…” My voice shakes. “Please…”

“Let her see!” The woman laughs. “Let her have her kicks!”

Pea has dragged her to her feet and he’s keeping her still by the arms. Her face is covered in blood.  
  
Jug glares at her before looking back at me. “That’s your decision.” He says. “What do you want me to do?”

I blink a couple of times, shocked. “W-what?”

“Tell me what to do.”

I shake my head. “N-No.”

“If you don’t tell me, I’m going to kill her. I’ve _never_ killed a woman in my entire criminal life. Tell me Betty.”

I look into his eyes. He’s not my Jughead. As much as he’s trying not to scare me, right behind the surface I can see the monster he claimed to be the night he cried into my arms. What scares me though is not him. It’s the fact that I want to see that part of him… I want to see it. But do I want him to have another soul on his conscience after having killed five, six more men for me? _No_.

“Brake her fingers.” I murmur looking straight at the woman in front of us. “And shoot her in one of her feet. She won’t die. She’ll suffer.”

Toni gasps beside me. “Betty…”

Jug holds my gaze, unwavering. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

The smirk adorning his lips shouldn’t make me feel better. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this.  
  
He turns back toward the woman and takes the sledgehammer from where Sweet Pea had left it. “You heard her. Sweet Pea push her on the ground. Hands open.”

The smirk falls from her lips, her eyes widen, and she starts begging. “No. Please! Please! I’m going to leave! I’ll leave and never come back!”

I stare at her face as she’s pushed on the ground. The terror very clear in the way she’s trying to get free.

“Betty.” Toni calls me. “You won’t ever get back from something like this.”

“She wanted to use me like a ragdoll….” I murmur staring at the crying woman. Should I feel compassion?

“Is this the world you want your child to grow into? Is this the baggage you want to have over your shoulders when you become a mom? You won’t ever heal from something like this!” She exclaims.

My bottom lip quivers, my hand unconsciously falls against my stomach and the tears begin to fall once again. “I-I… _No_.”

She hugs me tightly and calls Jughead’s name loudly. “Stop. She changed her mind.”

He lets the sledgehammer fall and comes to me. His arms wraps around me and doesn’t let go. “I’m here. I won’t let you out of my sight ever again.”

I cry harder, sobs wrecking my body. I try to speak, I really do. But I’m unable to stop the tears.  
Toni stands up. I hear her talk to Sweet Pea, but I really can’t concentrate on what they’re saying right now.

“Come on, let’s go away. Toni and Pea will take care of everything.” He murmurs into my ear, trying to sooth me. He grabs my backpack from the ground, puts the gun away and picks me up from my position against the tree. He doesn’t let me look back. He just pushes me away from the corpses and the shrieking woman.

I pretend not to notice when the noise gets weaker. I just follow him until he decides to stop. He hugs me so tightly that I almost can’t breathe.

“I’m sorry Betty. I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. “I-It’s not your fault.”

“I got distracted! I shouldn’t have!”

We cry together. There’s nothing much we can do.

“You killed. For me! I… I’m sorry.”

“There was no other choice. I don’t regret it and I would do it again. When I turned around and didn’t see you there, I panicked. I don’t even want to think about the possibility if I hadn’t looked when I did.”

“Toni made me think…” I whisper. “I don’t want to have to heal from something like that… And what scares me the most is that I wanted you to hurt her and it felt good... telling you what to do.”

He holds my chin and kisses me deeply. “You were in shock. You probably still _are_. Did they… did they do something to you?”

“You got there in time.” I whisper. “You stopped them…”

He shuts his eyes and hides his head into the crook of my neck. “I’m here now…”

“I know…”

“I’m sorry you had to see that side of me… I never wanted you to assist. I don’t want to be that person anymore…”

I hold him close to me. “You startled me. That dark, unreachable part of you almost scared me… But not enough to make me stand and leave you there. I have that darkness too. It’s rooted deep inside my soul… hidden. When I told you to do that to her I wanted to see her hurting. I wanted it so bad… What kind of mother will I be?”

“Everyone has a dark side, Betty. It comes out in cases like this one. When and if our child comes… that side will be necessary to protect him or her. In a world like ours being ruthless is going to make the difference between staying alive and die.

I nod and hug him again. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to think about anything at all right now.

Sweet Pea and Toni join us half an hour later.

“What happened?” I ask as soon as I see them.

“Nothing you need to worry about Betts.” Toni reassures me. “Don’t worry anymore. Alright?”

“You killed her.” I murmur.

“It needed to be done. I’ve met hundreds of persons like her. Always promising and never keeping their words.” Sweet Pea explains as gently as he can.

“The bodies?” Jug inquires. “Did you dispose of them?”

“Yep, boss.”

“Good.” He heaves a sigh. “Let’s move. We have already lost too much time thanks to them.”

“What did they even want from us?” Toni asks me.

“Our things and _entertainment_ …” I take Jug’s hand in mine and grip it tightly.

“Those bastards.” She mutters. “How is it possible that good people die and scums like them do not?”

“They’re like cockroaches. They won’t ever disappear.” Jughead grunts.

We walk in silence for a while, Jug never lets go of my hand and I’m very grateful for that. The shock I felt when I realized there was someone behind me won’t easily be forgotten. What I don’t understand is why I froze. I could have run. None of them had a gun. _I could have run._ Chills are running up and down my body and my ears are still ringing.  
I’m just glad I wasn’t alone. Or maybe in that case I would have reacted differently. I would have run away… Bob would have been with me.

“Betts.” Jug distracts me from my thoughts. I look up at him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not sure…”

“Do you want to stop?”

“No. Let’s keep going. I’ll stop once we’re there.”

I look down at my hands, staring at the fingers digging into the fabric of my jacket. I would have hurt myself if that wasn't there. _You didn’t._ I repeat to myself over and over again.

*** 

By the time we reach the houses it's very late at night and all I want to do is lay down and sleep.

“We’ll stay together. In the same house.” Jug tells our tired friends before looking at me. “I’ll go check it out with Pea. Toni will keep you company. Alright?”

I nod, my eyes almost closing. He passes me to her and leaves with Sweet Pea, promising to come back soon.

“Betts, are you okay?” Toni asks quietly, holding me up.

“Looks like the adrenalin rush is wearing off. I’m just very tired…”

“You’ll get to sleep and tomorrow it’ll be a new day. Don’t let those people ruin the work you’ve done.”

“I know… I’ll do my best.” I yawn and lean my head against her shoulder. She's tiny but so much stronger than me. “How are you though?”

“Me?”

“Yeah… You killed that woman…”

She shakes her head. “No Betty. I didn’t. I never killed a person in my entire life. Jug, Pea and Fangs were the ones to _take care_ of the business when it came to that…”

I frown. “Where’s the woman then?”

“Sweet Pea took care of her while I disposed of the bodies.”

“Oh.” I murmur. “Okay. Where did you put them?”

“Betty.” She pleads. “Stop thinking about it. Okay? You’re safe and no one will ever even breathe the same air as yours if Jug doesn’t want to. Not that he needs to be the one to allow it, of course. You could very well decide on your own… But you know what I mean.”

“Yeah…” I smile. “I know what you mean.”

“The house is clear.” Jug says a moment later. “Let’s go inside.”

Toni keeps her arm around my hips until she’s sure Jug has a firm grip on me. “Don’t make moves on my wife, Toni.” He teases as we sit on the couch.

“Very funny Jug.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m dead tired.”

I nod in agreement, leaning all my weight on him. “I want to sleep.”

“Let’s lay down. You can do that now.” He gets behind me and drags me toward his body.

Sweet Pea grunts while he stretches on the ground, trying to find a comfortable position.

“Why don’t you go upstairs in one of the rooms?” I ask quietly.

He shrugs, crossing his arms behind his head. “It’s better if we stay together. I don’t mind sleeping on the ground.”

“Thank you for what you did…”

He opens his eyes, staring at me surprised. “Don’t worry about it.” He grumbles.

Jug chuckles and kisses the back of my head. “He doesn’t know how to accept someone’s gratefulness.”

“Must run in the family…”

“Sleep, love. I’ll be here all the time. I won’t ever let you go.”


	33. What we Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lingerie?” I frown.  
> “You don’t know what that is?” She asks bewildered.  
> “Should I?”  
> She puts both hands on my shoulders and squeezes them lightly. “Girl, I’m going to show you an entire new world.”  
> She takes my hand and drags me away. It’s going to get fun. I’m sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some girl time!
> 
> Sorry for the long absence!  
> I needed to take some time off… doctor orders😓  
> I'm going to take advantage of Easter break to relax and get better. I hope to get back to my usual routine as soon as possible! I hate these broken fingers!

Sleep and rest brought me some clarity. Something bad could have happened to me but fortunately Jughead, Toni and Sweet Pea were there for me. I don’t want to feel weaker even if I’m aware of the impact of what those beasts said and almost did. I’m safe now and I need to keep myself occupied. The truck is a way for me to take my mind off of things I don’t need to dwell on.

“You sure you’re okay?” Jug asks for the twelfth time while I tinker around the vehicle.

“I am.” I respond with my head under the hood of the car, heaving a sigh. “I swear. You saved me before anything could happen. _Are you though?_ Okay, I mean.”

“Yes. A hundred percent.”

“Good.”

“Hey Betts!” Toni calls me from her position behind the wheel, waiting for me to give her the signal to try and turn the engine on. “How is it going?”

I grunt while I tighten a loose bolt. “Almost there…”

“I still can’t believe you can do that!” Sweet Pea says baffled. “You’re amazing!”

“Hey now!” Jug huffs. “That’s my wife, you two!”

We laugh at his jealousy. I like that he is. It makes me feel more loved.

“All done.” I sigh resurfacing from under the hood and closing it gently. “Try to turn it on but do not push it too far if it’s flooded. Stop for a while and try again after a couple of minutes.”

“As you wish!” Toni answers before doing exactly what I said. It’s almost thrilling, knowing to be important for something so little.  
  
The engine does make a weird noise but it turns on almost instantly much to our delight. We celebrate with whoops and laughs. “How much fuel is there?” I ask.

“Enough to get to the chasm and back home!” Pea exclaims. “We can finally stop walking for a while!”

“What’s important is that we’ll be able to take home everything we need.” Jug says relieved, his arm around my waist. “You’re a little genius.”

I smile. “I was always a quick learner.”

“Oh, I know that.” He smirks leaning down to kiss my lips. Toni honks making us jump.

“Are you crazy?” Jug scolds her. “Anyone could hear!”

“There’s no one! Come on you guys, hop inside and let’s go. I want to get back to my girlfriend as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, yeah. Come on Betts.” He loads our belongings into the truck and helps me get in the back. Sweet Pea and Toni being in the front.

*** 

When we reach the chasm it’s almost midday and I have a frightening sense of déjà vu. I’m not sure I want to cross that damn tree once again.

“Uhm… Are we really going to leave the truck here? On the street? Where anyone could see it and steal it?” I ask.

“You know…” Toni says. “We could _break it_. I mean… can’t you do something to the engine while we’re away and fix it when we’re back?”

I blink. She’s right. “Alright. That’s actually an awesome idea…”

So that’s what I do while they all stare at me.

Ten minutes later I'm done. “So? What are you looking at? Let's go. I can’t wait to cross that tree. Damn it.”

“A tree? What are you talking about?” Sweet Pea questions.

“The Shopping Center is on the other side of this chasm, Pea.” Jughead tells him. “The only way for us to get there is by crossing a fallen tree.”

“Have I told you guys I hate heights?” He stutters. “ _Badly._ ”

“I feel you Pea. I almost pooped my pants the first time I had to do it.”

Toni and Jughead laugh and I slap him upside the head. “Hey!” He exclaims.

“That’s what you get for making fun of me.”

“I wasn’t making fun of you…” He grumbles scratching the sore spot.

“Really Jug?” I roll my eyes.

“I was just… laughing?”

“Stop clutching at straws, bro!” Sweet Pea snorts.

“There it is…” I sigh. “The tree of damnation!”

“I won’t cross it!” He shouts. “Are you all crazy? That’s impossible!”

“You volunteered, Pea.” Jug reminds him.

“Yeah! I didn’t know I had to cross a fucking tree! I wouldn’t have come! For sure!”

Toni laughs. “I wasn't aware that you were scared of heights.”

“Never got the chance to tell you. I love my feet on solid ground, thank you very much!”

“Come on Pea. We need to do this. It’s necessary for our survival and you know it.” Jug tries to reason.

“What if I fall? What if it breaks? What if I’m too heavy?”

“Jeez! Stop it and move your ass. We need to move.” Jug sighs taking me by the hand. A very shaky hand. Too many emotions in too little time.

“I think I’m going to need one of our sessions.” I mumble so that he’s the only one able to hear. “You know what I mean…”

He puts his arm over my shoulders, frowning. “Why? Are you okay? Is it because of what happened yesterday?”

I sigh. “That _and_ the possibility of being pregnant _and_ the stress that I’ve accumulated in the last period. Is that okay?”

“Do you think you’ll be able to wait until we’re back home?”

“I believe so…”

“Are you sure?” His eyes are intense while he stares at me.

I nod. “If anything changes I’ll tell you…”

He kisses me. “Okay. If you feel like you can’t take it anymore-”  
  
“I’m coming to you. I swear.” I interrupt him. “Let’s go now… I don’t want to prolong the terrible crossing.”

Sweet Pea and Toni are by the tree. She’s patting one of his shoulders, trying very hard not to laugh at him. “It’s going to be okay Pea! Come on… I’ll go first and you can follow me. Alright?”

He nods but I can almost see the tears glistening his eyes. “It’s easier than what it seems.” I try to encourage him.

“I doubt it.” He snorts but still takes a step forward.

“One step at a time!” Toni calls from the other side. “It’s not that far!”

“I’m going to die!” He laughs almost hysterically. He starts the crossing and for a moment I fear for him because he’s really shaking.

“Come on Pea! You’re doing perfect!” I cheer.

When he gets on the other side he collapses on the ground and cries. “I hate you! I won’t ever do that again!”

“Do we tell him we have to come back with stuff at some point?” Jughead mumbles into my ear.

“I don’t think it’s the right thing to do… Once we have everything we need _you_ will tell him.”

“You good to go?” He asks changing the subject.

“Do I have any other choice?”

“I don’t think so, I’m sorry.” As if it’s his fault. I want to have everything I need at home because I want to go on with my life and be prepared. For everything.

I start walking with conviction, not looking further away than my toes and breathing as steadily as I can. Jug is right behind me and when I reach Toni and Sweet Pea all I can think about is how we need to do the same thing later, with backpacks full of things and probably rather large objects. _I hate this._

*** 

The Shopping Center is exactly how we left it. It seems like no one has been in here since we left and that’s something that reassures me somehow.

“So, how are we going to do this?” Toni asks as soon as we arrive at the storage we stayed last time.

“We need books. There should be a library somewhere.” Jug answers while we search for the walkie talkies. “Then we’re separating. Pea and I will look for what we need to cultivate our gardens while you and Betty could think about the rest… Is that okay?”

“Alright.” She shrugs. “So, is this the place where you fell in love?” She teases us.

I blush and Jug snorts. “Always looking for a way to get information I see.”

“Can’t blame a girl for trying!”

“Found the radios!” I exclaim. “There are four of them.”

“That’s good, baby. Something less to look for.” He kisses me lightly on the cheek and my heart flutters. I won’t ever get used to this.

*** 

We find the library at the very end of the Store; me and Toni immediately go look for the medical books. Jug catches my hand and pulls me against his body. “If it gets too hard… Please-”

“Don’t worry. Alright? I’ll come looking for you.” I kiss his mouth and leave.

Toni smiles, nudging me with her shoulder.

“What?”

“You two are really, _really_ cute together. You’ll make beautiful babies!”

I flush as red as a tomato. “I h-hope so…”

She takes my hand. “Are you sure everything’s okay after yesterday?”

I sigh. “I’m not completely okay, of course. But what happened yesterday helped me put things in perspective, T. What’s really important? What is it that I want from life? I could have died. I don’t want to wait anymore. Our lives are always on the brink of getting destroyed and I don’t want to miss anything.”

Toni blinks, smiling. “How old are you again?”

I roll my eyes. “Stop it.”

She hugs me tightly. “You’ve made such big steps forward. You won’t ever be alone. Whatever you decide… you have a family now. Not just a husband. Which is still weird to say!”

I laugh. “I know. Sometimes I forget I’m someone’s wife.”

“I bet you do. Let’s go look for the books?” She asks holding my hand.

I nod and follow her toward the section of the library where we suppose the medical books should be. It takes a while, books are everywhere on the ground and we accidentally meet Jug and Pea a couple of times, but then we find the right place. That's when I start getting jitters. _I know_ we’re not looking just for me but… I can’t help it.

“It’s getting real, isn’t it?” Toni questions gently.

“Realer than a broken condom?” I mutter without thinking. I shut my mouth right after, mentally cursing myself.

“ _What?_ ” She whispers-yells. “When?”

“I shouldn’t have said anything. Jug wanted to keep this between us…”

“Betts!” She turns toward me, her eyes wide. “You went through _that_ yesterday knowing you could be pregnant?”

“It broke the night before that.” I murmur looking down at my hands. “After our fight. I’m not pregnant but… Could I?”

“It takes up to forty-eight, seventy-two hours for the deed to be done.” She whispers. “You know what I mean…”

“Actually… I don’t. I mean… I know the basis but in detail, I know nothing.”

“Really?”

I shrug. “My mother did not want me to take the sexual education classes. She never told me anything about it and I never really looked because I was scared that somehow she’d find out.”

“Oh, Betty.” She hugs me once again. “I’m here now. I’m going to tell you everything you need to know. Alright?”

I smile into her shoulder and nod. “Thank you. It means a lot.”

“And it’s going to be okay. Whatever happens. And hey… At least you were talking about this right? It’s not completely unplanned in case it happens.”

“My period is still so erratic… I’m sure everything’s fine.”

“If it’s not it’ll be anyway.”

“Alright…” I murmur. “Thank you, Toni.”

“Don’t worry about it. Come on… Let’s get moving. I can’t wait to get back to my girl.”

*** 

“I believe we’ve taken every single useful book there was…” Toni huffs shouldering her heavy backpack. Mine is already full.

“Girls!” Sweet Pea calls us. We turn toward him, he has a box full of books.

“What are those?” I ask bewildered. “Do we need them all?”

“We thought we could need something for entertainment too and most of them are children books. You know… learning books of all sort…”

“That’s… a perfect idea, actually. I did not think about it.”

“Ah! Neither did Jug! It was all me!” He laughs thumping his chest.

“Yeah, yeah.” Jug’s voice comes from a little further away. “Perfect uncle material.” He emerges from behind a shelf with another full box. My mouth hangs open.

“How are we going to take that back to the car?” I ask.

“We’ll find a way. We can’t leave any of these behind, Betts.”

“Alright… We’re going to the drug store and then we’ll look for the rest. We’ll meet each other here?”

“Yeah…” He heaves a breath as he puts the box down beside the other. “If anything happens yell. Both of you. And keep your eyes open.”

“Don’t worry. This place is deserted, Jug.” Toni says. “And I’ll keep your wife safe.”

“Thank you.” He mumbles.

“Be safe too.” I kiss him and turn toward Sweet Pea. “Keep an eye on him. I’ll hold you responsible for everything that happens to my husband.”

“Yes ma’am!” He mock-salutes.

Jughead rolls his eyes and slaps me on the butt, making me yelp. “Smart ass. Go, we’ll meet you here.”

*** 

“Where do we start?” Toni asks. “Drug store? Baby store? Clothes?”

“Drug store? I’d leave the Baby Store for last… Maybe the guys could help us with that.”  
  
“Totally agree. I don’t know how we’ll be able to get everything home…”

I point at the drug store and we move toward it. “We’ll find a way.”

When we enter everything's almost like I remembered. I’m not sure what Toni needs, she said she has everything under control, and I believe her. Every once in a while, she looks at me... probably making sure I'm okay or something. I know she thinks I’m going to crumple at some point… maybe I will. I know I need Jug’s help but for now I’m okay. Nothing happened. Fortunately.

A light green pacifier catches my eyes. It’s still in the box, untouched, hidden under a half-fallen shelf. I kneel and take it with me, smiling. Something I hadn’t thought about. I’m still so naïve. The books we’ve found for first time moms and dads should help; I hope. One thing is for sure, I thought I’d be more worried and scared of doing this. _Planning_ is actually helping and something inside of me is starting to tingle with excitement.

“Toni…” I call her quietly.

“Yep?” She asks from somewhere inside the store.

“Will you teach me how to defend myself?”

Her head pops up from behind the counter. “Of course! I’d love to help you. When?”

“I’m not sure…” I shrug smiling. “I need to know what’s gonna be of my future first.”

“Right. Totally forgot about that. You know…” She says staring at me, eyebrow raised. “You could always take some tests with you. For _now_ and the future… There are some in here. If you want.”

I think about it for a moment. They sure as hell would simplify everything. My anxiety would decrease significantly. I join her behind the counter and put them in the backpack. Every single one of them. Toni smiles before going back to her searching.

“Have you talked to Jughead about contraceptive herbs?”

“Yep. He was going to look for a book or something… He thinks it’s smart, actually.”

“Yeah. I think that too. We’d risk to have a kindergarten in the span of two years between you and Ronnie.”

“Hey!” I punch her lightly on the arm. “Not funny!”

She laughs loudly. “You’re probably right. How many children does Jug want?”

I blink, leaning against the wall and watching while she puts useful things in her backpack. “I’m not sure. We haven’t really talked about numbers… One is enough for me. If we’re even able to have that.”

“Why shouldn’t you?” She asks frowning. “You’re young and your period is back…”

“I know… It’s just something I’ve been thinking. We’re planning all of this but what if there won’t ever be a child? What if I’m unable to have one?”

“Betty. First rule for conceiving a child? Don’t think about it too much. It’s worse if you start pressuring yourself. Don’t think about it. Okay?”

“I’ll try…”

“Good. I think I’ve taken everything I need. Or almost anyway. Next stop?”

“Clothes. For us and children. _And Veronica!_ ”

She laughs. “Right. I had forgotten about her request.”

“Maybe I’ll find something cute for me too? I’ve never worn anything beside sweaters and jeans. Mother dearest didn’t want me to wear dresses or skirts. Summertime was terrible.”

“Jeez. I think I hate that woman with all my heart. Was she the devil incarnated?”

“Who knows. Probably.”

“Well. We’ll find something cute for you too then. Maybe some lingerie?” She smirks.

“Lingerie?” I frown.

“You don’t know what that is?” She asks bewildered.

“Should I?”

She puts both hands on my shoulders and squeezes them lightly. “Girl, I’m going to show you an entire new world.”

She takes my hand and drags me away. It’s going to get fun. I’m sure of it.


	34. Getting Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stops. “Do you need me?”  
> “I always need you.” I murmur looking up at him through my lashes.  
> He smirks. “How do you need me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT!😉

“ _I am not wearing any of these things!_ ” I exclaim quite scandalized. “You’re mad if you think I’m going to!”

“Oh my gosh… I can’t breathe!” Toni is laughing almost hysterically.

“Yeah yeah! I’m glad you find me so entertaining!” I grumble. “There’s nothing funny.”

“Your face was!”

I touch one of the flimsy things she showed me and I blink. “What’s the purpose of these? They cover _nothing at all_.”

“That’s exactly their purpose. They’re not for covering things up. You wear them for seduction. Come on! What’s wrong in having a little fun? Jug saw you naked! He’s going to lose his mind!”

“I-I… I don’t even have the body to wear these!”

She looks at me as if I’ve offended her somehow. “Take that back.”

“What? What did I say? It’s true!”

“Bullshit! You can wear anything you want! Get your mother out of your head. Now, missy.”

“Jeez. You’re scary, T.”

“I want you to get inside one of those changing rooms and try this on.” She passes me a dark red piece. It’s not as scandalous as some of the other pieces still hanging around. But it scares me anyway. “It doesn’t bite.” She snorts shoving it into my hand.

“You’re incredibly annoying.” I mumble. “Will you keep guard please?”

“Of course. Get on with it.” She pushes me slightly. “Oh! This too!”

“What now?” I turn back to look at what she’s got this time.

She shows me a black little thing. It looks like a dress; a very short silky dress and I blush. “Nope.”

“I don’t accept a no as an answer. Come on Betty! Have fun! Pretty please? Try these on, take them home and we can get on with our shopping. I’ll fetch some regular and _fun_ panties for us girls in the meantime. When you’re done call me.” She leaves without giving me the time to reply.

I look at what she gave me and sigh. _Have fun._ I tell myself. What’s the arm in it? _Fuck you mother._  
I get inside the changing room, undress quickly and put the red piece on. It’s beautiful and alluring and so sexy I can’t help but flush. What will Jug think of this? Excitement overtakes me. I put the small silky dress over it and smile. Yeah… I don’t look that bad.

“Toni?” I call loudly.

“Coming!” She appears a moment later and whistles. “Damn, girl! You’re hot!”

“Stop it.” I mumble. “I might just take them. Do you think there’s something else I could take?”

She bursts into a laugh. “You can take everything you want. Look around. I’ll keep searching for pjs for everyone _and_ maternity things… Sorry to burst your bubble but you’re going to need them.” She says while she moves away.

I roll my eyes, surprised by the fact that it doesn’t really burst my bubble. I look at myself on the full-length mirror, trying to depict my body rounder and fuller. Could there be a life ready to grow inside me right now? I touch my belly unconsciously, startling myself. That’s when I know I have to change back into my clothes, because the image is more exciting than terrifying and I need to be focused on the task at hand.

I leave the cabin and shove the two pieces of lingerie into my backpack. I don’t need anything else. Those will be enough.

“Do we have what we need?” I ask Toni joining her beside a rack of fluffy looking pjs.

“Yup. I found something for our boys too. Boxers, t-shirts and sweatpants. We can go look for regular clothes now.”

“Toni… Thank you.” I tell her while we leave the store. “I don’t think I would have ever found the courage to do something like this.”

“You’re welcome, my dear.” She winks and hooks her arm with mine. “Let’s go. It’s getting late.”

“Oh Toni, I was thinking… do you think there are reusable diapers? I mean… since we’ve got the pads for us, could there be something of the sort for babies too?”

“That’s possible. We’ll look for them don’t worry.” She smiles.

*** 

An hour or so later we’ve filled four shopping baskets with every piece of clothes we could find. We have everything we need. From cute little things to more comfortable, practical clothes, sneakers, socks and flip-flops. Toni even found some bathing suits, hoping to use them when we find the source of water we’re looking for.

My baskets are full of baby clothes, small mittens and shoes. From age zero to maybe fifteen. Both for boys and girls. I want to be prepared as much as I can. The zero ones are so small and cute that I can’t help but feel a sliver of fear starting to spread. What if I break them? How can I take care of something so little ad fragile?

“Are we done in here?” Toni asks joining me beside a shelf packed with bibs and hats.

I put some of them in the basket and nod. “I think so. I’ve taken everything I could think of… I hope at least.”

“Don’t worry. It seems like you’ve covered more or less twenty years of your future child’s life!” She jokes. “Let’s get these baskets back to the library then we can start looking for things for the house. Alright? Get out of your mind Betts. There’s smoke coming out of your ears.”

I laugh shaking my head while we exit the shop. “You’re right. I’m just kind of overwhelmed. I need bottles and things we’ll probably find somewhere else now.”

“We’ll find the rest. We’ve checked almost everything off the list. We need pens maybe? Could be useful at some point. Have we found the scissors and brush?”

“Yup. Got them already. We already have jars, water bottles, plates and a small sewing kit. _I’m beat_. I can’t remember what else we need though. I have to eat something.” I huff as we enter the library. “Can we take a small break?”

She leaves the baskets beside the boxes full of books and she nods. “I’m hungry too. I don’t think the guys will mind if we eat.”

We sit on the ground, back leaned against a shelf and we fetch some food and the bottles of tea Cheryl prepared for all of us. We eat in silence, listening for any sign of the guys' return.

“I’m not sure we’ll be able to get back home today. It’s already mid-afternoon and it’s getting darker by the minute.” I mutter with my mouth full.

“Unfortunately, I believe so too. We’ll move first thing in the morning. We can’t take everything back to the car without daylight. Getting on the other side of that tree could be particularly dangerous.”

“Don’t make me think about it.” I huff. “You sure you’ve found everything we need for… _you know?_ ”  
  
“For when you’ll give birth?” She smiles gently. “I have it all. You’re young and strong. Women did everything naturally without medical help for many years. It’s going to go perfectly fine.”

“What if it doesn’t?” I ask quietly looking down at my food.

“We’ll find a way. I have _everything I need_. Alright? Don’t worry.”

“Hey!” Jug’s voice catches my attention. “Something's wrong?”

“Nope. We just needed to eat something and take a break. We have almost everything we need.”

He’s pushing a shopping cart full of things. “We’ll help you with the rest. We’re done with our part of the job. Sweet Pea is taking back a ladder and another filled cart.”

“Have you found everything?”

“We have a fence! We can put it around our houses. There’s nylon for our greenhouse, tomatoes seeds, salad seeds and many others I don’t even remember. Shovels, pitchforks, hoes, watering cans… We even found ropes and gardening scissors.” He sits beside me and leans his head against mine. “Those are clothes?”

“Yep. We’ll be okay for a long time.” Toni sighs laying on the ground. “Your wife has raided the children racks. You’ll be fine for at least twenty years.”

He laughs but doesn’t say anything, he just hugs me and sighs.  
Sweet Pea joins us some time later making a ruckus.

“I’m back!” He exclaims. “We’ve got so many things I believe we’ll be okay for the rest of our lives!”

“We better be!” Toni says. “I’m not going to come back here anytime soon unless it’s strictly necessary. Can I sleep? I’m so tired.”

“T, we need to go to the Baby Store, Toy Store and find the last couple of things we need. Then we take everything back to the storage and sleep.” I say standing up and taking Jug with me. "Come on, T. We're almost done."  
  
She sighs, standing up helped by Sweet Pea. "I can't wait to get home."  
  
Jughead throws an arm around my shoulders and keeps it there while we get to the store. It’s comforting, having him near. We finally got used to the distance, kind of, taking reassurance from the fact that if anything happened we’d be the firsts to know.

*** 

When we enter the Baby Store the overwhelmingly feeling I felt earlier is nothing compared to what I'm experiencing now.

“Shit…” Jug murmurs beside me. “Uhm. What do we need?”

My mouth is stuck open. I don’t know what to say.

“Has she gone into shock?” Sweet Pea asks.

“Nah. It’s just getting real.” Toni says elbowing me.

“Very real.” I agree. “I’m not even sure where to start.”

“Jug, Pea… Go look for a crib, not too big because we have to take it on the other side of the chasm and maybe a highchair. A car seat for children. We’ll think of the rest. Come on Betts.” She takes me by an arm and drags me away. I feel the urge to shrug her hand away and get back to Jughead right away, but I don’t want to seem silly. I want this. I need to grow the fuck up.

“I’d love to have a baby sling or carrier? I’m not even sure how it’s called. And we need reusable diapers. Lots of them. Bottles maybe? Plates and spoons for baby food…”  
  
“We’ll find everything you need, don’t worry. Look!” She says pointing toward a half-fallen shelf. “Bottles and things for babies.”

We take as many as we can. It doesn’t hurt to have a supply.  
I put everything in a bag I found lying around. Diapers, more small onesies so cute I can’t leave them here. I even find I cute little mobile with stars and the moon right in the middle. It won’t work since there’s no electricity anymore, but I want it anyway. The baby sling is trickier to locate but in the end we’re able to find it among cute sheets and warm, soft blankets. I hadn’t even thought about those. I take them all.

When we leave the store Jughead and Sweet Pea are already waiting for us with a box contaning the crib, the highchair Toni requested and the car seat for babies.

“Did you get everything?” Jug asks taking the bag from me.

“Yep. I still don’t know how we’re going to get all these things on the other side of the chasm.” I sigh leaning against him. “The crib is huge.”

“And this was the smallest one. We’ll probably need to take it out of the box and bring it to the car piece by piece.” His hand settles on my hip, the thumb brushing against a sliver of exposed skin.

“Pea, Toni… if you want to start taking everything back to the storage we’re going to the Toy Store and then we’ll join you.” I tell them clinging to Jug’s arm. I’m exhausted and I need some alone time with him.

“You sure?” She asks. “I can help you if you need me.”

I shake my head. “Don’t worry. We’ll come back as soon as possible.”

“Alright!” Pea agrees. “Let’s go T. There are many things to move and it’s starting to get pretty dark.”

She takes the bag from Jughead and the car seat. “If you need us, shout!” She winks at me and leaves followed by Pea. I owe her so much.

*** 

“How are you?” Jug asks once we’re inside the Toy Store. His hand holding mine.

“Exhausted? And overwhelmed… and excited. And scared. I feel so many things all at once that I’m starting to get affected by them.”

He stops. “Do you need me?”

“I always need you.” I murmur looking up at him through my lashes.

He smirks. “How do you need me?”

I kiss him slowly and languidly. “I want you to fuck me senseless.”

He pushes me against a pillar and immediately goes for the button of my trousers, getting on his knees and helping me remove them, followed right after by my panties. His eyes are sparkling when he grabs one of my legs and pushes it over his shoulder. He’s not gentle when he goes down on me, his tongue immediately finding my clit. He plays with it until I almost can’t keep myself upright. His fingers join his tongue, entering me and making me moan aloud. I hope our friends are already back at the storage.  
Everything he does is perfect but it’s not enough. I _want him_ , so I gently push his head away and straddle his bent legs. I find his lips, still tasting of me, moaning and grinding against him. “I want you.” I whimper. “Now.”

He nods and fumbles with his trousers until he gets himself free. “Condom?” He asks panting.

“Y-yeah.” The butterflies in my stomach flutter around.

My breath gets taken away when he enters me, immediately starting to move at a fast pace. We have to get back to the others but I need this so much it almost hurts. His hand spanks my buttock and I sink my teeth into the skin on his neck, making him growl and spank me again. It’s all so very dirty and formidable that I explode just moments later into a shattering orgasm. He holds still inside of me, giving me some time to come down from the high; it’s barely a minute later when he resumes his thrusts.

“Fuck.” He mutters into my neck. “I’m going to come.”

I rhythmically squeeze my walls around him, trying to help him get closer to the edge, whispering dirty things into his ear and licking the skin at the base of his neck, knowing how sensitive he is there. His hands grip my hips so tightly I’m sure I’m going to bruise. All I care about though is the spot he’s touching deep inside of me, repeatedly, and _I know_ I’m seconds away from coming one more time.

“J-Jug-” I whimper grinding against him.

“Come.” He growls spanking me one last time. “Come with me.”

I do just that, trembling uncontrollably against him and wrapping my arms around his neck. “Oh my god… Oh my god…” I moan. “I feel so good.”

He laughs and takes my head into his hands. “Did that help?”

“It did… Thank you.”

He snorts kissing my lips. “As if I didn’t enjoy it too. I’m not sure I feel my legs anymore.”

“Me too.” I mumble leaving small kisses against his cheek.

“No, I mean… I’m getting cramps!” He laughs lightly slapping my thigh.

“Gosh! You’re right!” I slid away from his lap and start fixing myself right away. I can’t wait to get home and wash. The situation has gotten… _stickier_.  
  
He stands, disposing of the fortunately unbroken condom and fixes himself too. “So...”

“So?” I ask back.

“What do we need?”

“I’m not sure… learning toys, stuffed animals.” I say looking around. “I remember when I was little… I had this beautiful teddy bear. It was all white and fluffy, I brought it everywhere and I loved it. It was my comfort toy. One day it just disappeared… I’m sure my mom threw it away just because I had something I cared about.”

He takes my hand, brushing his thumb over my knuckles. “We’ll take every stuffed animal you like. We won’t ever throw them away even if they’re ruined.”

I smile, leaning my head against his shoulder. “I don’t need all of them… I just want our child to have what I didn’t. _Love_ being the most important thing…”

He sighs. “He or she will have a loving family… You’ll see Betts.”

*** 

In the end we take four stuffed animals, some dolls, toy cars, a couple of balls and a cute rocking horse. We also found a section of the store completely furnished with toys for small babies; we took a small gym comprehensive of a soft carpet, soft puppets, rattles and teething rings. The playpen was something neither of us thought about taking but it’s going to be very useful for any situation.  
  
“How come there’s always something to add to the list of things we need?” He grumbles.

“Babies need lots of things, Jug.” I smile. “And we absolutely need to be prepared.”

“I agree… It just seems a never-ending list!”

“Look. What is that?” I ask pointing toward a hanging thing that almost looks like a nest of some sort.

“I have no idea. Never saw anything like this in my entire life.”

“Do you think we could need it?”

“Nah. I’d rather look for a nice carillon… My sister loved the one we had when she was little.”

“What about that one?” I ask pointing toward a cute looking music box. “Does it work with a key or batteries?”

He inspects it for a moment and immediately finds the key, turning it a couple of times. The music is sweet and soft. “It’s perfect.” He murmurs smiling.

“It is.” I whisper biting my lip. “Jug… I want what you want.” Emotions threaten to burst from my every pore.

“What?” He frowns looking down at me, still listening to the soft music coming from the carillon.

“I want to try. Life’s too short to wait for the perfect moment and… The world we live in is anything but perfect.”

“Really?” He asks dumbfounded. “I mean… In the near future?”

I smile touching his cheek. “As soon as we organize our house… Yeah. Pretty near future.”

His eyes are glistening when he leans down to kiss me. “Thank you…”

“You don’t have to thank me. I want it too. And who knows… maybe we're already expecting?”

He laughs quietly, his head buried into my neck. “Damn that broken condom. I wanted it to be special… not a consequence of make-up sex.”

“Toni made me take some pregnancy tests…” I reveal biting my lip. “I know we said to keep it between us but… I got overwhelmed and she helped me.”

“You have them with you?” He asks.

“I do but I won’t take them now… I want to wait for my period. I don’t want to waste them. If it doesn’t come… We’ll take a couple. Alright?”

He nods. “You’re right.”

“Aren’t you mad I told her what happened?”

“No. I’m glad you’re able to talk to someone else beside me…” He smiles. “Who am I to tell you what to do or not to do? It was a suggestion but I’m not mad.”

“You’re always so understanding.”

“I was spectator of many terrible failed relationships in my life… I know how to behave and how it should be between husband and wife.”

I sigh. “You’re an awesome husband… In every aspect of your being. Darkness and all.”

He snorts. “Well… I’m not sure about that. I’ll have to take your words up to it.”

We kiss sweetly for a couple of minutes not really caring that the place is almost completely dark by now. We have our future almost completely planned… Let’s just hope everything goes as we wish.

*** 

When we get back to the storage Toni and Sweet Pea are already snoring. Everything we collected is pushed to one side of the room.

“We need to block the entryway.” Jug murmurs. “Let’s push those shelves against it.”

“We’re going to wake them with the noise!”

“They won’t hear a thing. They’re sleeping like the dead. Don’t worry.”

“If you say so…” I help him put the shelves against the broken door and in fact neither Toni nor Pea move a muscle. I snicker slightly. They look like brother and sister most of the time even if they don’t want to admit it… always bickering and picking at each other.

We settle on a blanket beside them; Jug is laying behind me, his hand sprawled over my stomach while his other arm is pushed under my head as support.

"I have a present for you." I mumble already half asleep. "I'll show you when we're back home."

"You're a tease." He whispers into my ear.

“Just a little. I can’t wait to sleep in our bed.” I murmur holding his hand.

“One more day, baby. One more day.”

*** 

Getting everything on the other side of the chasm has been the most difficult and dangerous thing we’ve done until now. Sweet Pea is still sitting with his back against the wheel of the car, shaking, while I’m trying very hard to push oxygen into my lungs. Toni is doing her best to comfort Pea but it doesn’t seem to work. it’s going to take a while.

“Come on, big guy.” She says kindly. “We just need to go home. You did amazingly!”

“I-I need a minute. Please.” He stutters. “T-then we can g-go.”

Jug turns toward me, concerned. “Are you okay?”

I nod, still trying to stabilize my fast beating heart. “I’m okay…”

“What can I do?”

“Do we have some more water?”

He takes our last bottle from his backpack, giving it to me. I sip it slowly, immediately starting to feel better. “I need to fix the car then we can leave. I want to get home. I’m so tired.”

“Can I help you somehow?”

“Do you know how to fix a car?” I ask him smiling.

“Is it like fixing a bike?”

“Not really! You can assist me if you want!”

“You’ll have to teach me…” He smirks. “Something I don’t know for once!”

“I’m going to hurt you.” I huff leaving him there and getting under the hood of the car. His laughs resound around the place.

“How are you feeling Pea?” Jug asks.

“Like I’ve crossed a fucking tree over a chasm. That’s how I feel. I’m still shaking.”

“You’ll be okay in no time. You can ask V to prepare you a nice calming brew when we get home. I’m sure she has missed you!”. Toni tries to comfort him some more while Jughead follows my every move.

Pea snorts shaking his head. “Veronica won’t ever open her heart to me. She’s still too broken for that…”

We remain all quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say.

“She lost her soulmate, man.” Jughead tells him after a while. “You can’t know how it feels to be linked in such a way to someone… It’s all-consuming sometimes and even the thought of not having Betty in my life makes my heart hurt. You need to be patient, be by her side and support her…”

Sweet Pea looks up at his friend, eyebrows furrowed. “Shit, bro. You’re all grown up for real…”

“Yeah. I kinda had to. Most of all I wanted to.”

“Thank you Jug. I’ll try to do my best.” He sighs standing up. “I’m feeling better. I’m ready to go home.”

“And I’m done.” I declare shutting the hood. “We can load everything up and leave. Carful with the clothes and baby stuff please…”

*** 

We’re back home an hour before sunset.  
Bob’s the first to welcome us, barking and wiggling his tail happily. “Boy!” I laugh when he jumps on me, almost making me fall. “I’ve missed you too!”

“Bobby!” Sweet Pea exclaims. “Come here!”

“Hey!” I frown when he goes straight to him. “Traitor!”

Cheryl comes right after my dog, throwing herself into Toni’s arms. “T! I was so worried!”

“I’m okay Cher. We’re just tired, it’s been… a long trip.”

We’ve decided not to tell them about the blonde bitch and her group of cockroaches for now. It’s better if we wait for daylight.

“Have you found everything?” Veronica asks from beside Sweet Pea. Fangs and Kevin are helping Jughead unload the truck and talking among themselves.

“Almost… That place was still full.” Toni tells her. “Any news?”

“Oh yeah! Right! Fangs! Tell them what you found!”

“There’s a stream not far from here…” He grunts while he puts one of the boxes full of books on the ground. “I’ll show you tomorrow.”

“Guys…” Kevin asks when he sees the content of one of the bags. “What are these?”

“Baby clothes.” I answer. “You know… for the future.”

“Whose future?” He inquires blinking at me. “Yours?”

“Yep. Sorry, you and Fangs are the last ones to know… We’re thinking about that.” Jug tells him shrugging.

“Really?” Fangs asks surprised. “You’re a hundred percent telling the truth?”

“He is, man.” Sweet Pea confirms. “We’re going to become uncles soon!”

“I can’t believe it…” He murmurs hugging both Jug and me. “Congrats, guys!”

“I told you Pea… When the time comes, I’m going to tell you.” I smile shaking my head. “Thank you Fangs.”

“Can we get everything inside now?” Toni whines through a yawn. “I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes open.”

“All the baby things need to be put into our house.” Jug tells our friends. “The rest can stay in one of your houses for now. Tomorrow we'll sort through everything. Alright?”

“Alright boss. Let’s get to work!” Sweet Pea exclaims clapping his hands. “You won’t believe what I had to do, V…” I hear him say while he moves away. I chuckle. He’s such a baby. They're all big babies, these men. Mine too… _Sometimes._


	35. Bump in The Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I laugh. “Are you dreaming about those hamburgers you told me about?”  
> “Oh yeah. You can count on it!”  
> “You’re incredibly predictable, Juggie.”  
> “What can I say… I love my food.”

When fifteen days later my period comes, I’m not sure how to feel. I don’t tell him right away because we’re still in the middle of reorganizing our house, it’s been a hell of a work trying to find the right place for everything we now have. Intimate times have been reduced to zero because we fall dead asleep as soon as we touch the bed, but I can’t keep it to myself any longer. We’re almost over though, we just need to store the stuff we won’t need anytime soon.

I’m fixing something for lunch while Jughead is outside with Sweet Pea, Fangs and Kevin, trying to put together the greenhouse for our garden. I need to tell him. Afterwards we have to discuss what we want to do.

The sound of the door opening puts my mind at rest for a moment and I turn toward it, Jug and Bob are coming inside in a rush.

“Where’s the fire?” I ask laughing quietly.

“I think I’m speaking for the both of us when I say we’re hungry.” He smiles hugging me from behind and kissing my cheek.

“The hare you caught this morning is almost ready. Could you look at it please?” We’ve started cooking by the fireplace since we don’t have enough gas for the camping stoves we found at the store. We’re going to keep them in case of emergency. Even if I don’t think we’ll ever really need them.

“On it.” He agrees. “This looks delicious and smells even better. I believe it’s ready, actually.”

“Bring it here please? I need to finish cutting these dandelion roots and then we can eat.”

“Yep. How was your day?” He asks as he sits on one of the two chairs by the small table.

I join him a moment later, sighing. “Long and tiring. I’ve stored the playpen and some other things in the basement. We won’t need them for quite some time still. You guys?”

He portions the hare into two plates and some into a bowl for Bob. “We’re almost done with the greenhouse. Kevin has already tilled part of the ground, we just need to plant the seeds.”

“Good!” I mumble trough a mouthful of meat. “There’s some news though…”

“What is it?” He frowns.

“I got my period. This morning.” There. Better say it quickly right? Rip it off like a band-aid.

He swallows and drinks a sip of water. “Really?”

I nod. “Yeah. Just some spotting but almost right on time. At least it’s getting back to its regularity.”

“Okay… What do you wanna do then?”

I put the cutlery down, staring at what’s left of my food. “I’m not sure…”

“You okay?” He asks. “You seem worried.”

I bite my lip, fumbling with the hem of my shirt. “It’s just… What if we took all this stuff and it doesn’t happen?”

“Betty… How long have you been thinking about this?”

“A while. I talked with Toni and she was able to calm me down… Now I can’t help but think about it.”

“Listen…” He says holding my hand. “Don’t worry this much please. We weren’t trying yet; you were particularly stressed. Let’s not put too much pressure on ourselves, alright? It’s going to happen… I know it. We just need to relax and it’ll come when it’ll come.”

“You’re right… It’s just, I was hoping for it more than I realized.”

He smiles. “Wanna know something?”

I nod shrugging.

“You’ve made giant steps forward. I’m not sure what made you change your mind so quickly but I’m glad. I know everyone believes we must be crazy to want something like this so soon but it’s all I can think about…”

“Do you think it’s because we’re soulmates?”

“No. I mean… I think it has something to do with the fact that I can’t stay away from you but… wanting a family with you is something more rooted inside of me. I told you before, I just want to do something good. Why did you agree with me?” He asks.

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“Why did you change your mind about this? You seemed to be so sure on wanting to wait…”

“I’m not sure… Something inside of me shifted. I feel it in my heart and stomach. Every time I think about it, I get this tingling everywhere… And almost risking my life was the last straw. I could have died, and you would have been left alone…”

“That’s something I don’t want to think about.” He mutters diverting his gaze toward our now sleeping dog.

“Well… You have to take into account that anything could happen. Even during birth-”

“Betty.” He scowls. “I don’t want to talk about this. Nothing will happen.”

“Alright. You’re probably right! But we’re not a hundred percent sure!”

“You’re making me change my mind about all of this.” He grunts standing up and going to look outside the window.

“Jughead!” I scold him bewildered. “Are you seriously acting like this?”

“Yeah because if the price is losing you then I don’t want to try anymore!”

I’m left speechless. I look down at the leftovers in my plate, tears ready to fall at any minute. We need to talk about this but I won’t lose my breath if he doesn’t want to listen.  
I stand, take my jacket and leave the house, not wanting to be in his presence right now.  
I hear him sigh and mutter an almost silent _fuck_ before I slam the door shut. My hormones are all over the place right now and talking about this when he clearly doesn’t want to even address the issue is just going to complicate things.

I pass by the almost completed greenhouse. It’s going to be beautiful.  
Quick steps catch my attention and I turn to see that Bob’s right behind me. Jug must have told him to follow me.

“Come here Bob… Let’s go take a walk.” He wiggles his tail and barks. “I’m just mad at him. He has to understand that we need to talk about the bad things too.”

We reach the stream and I sit on its bank. The sun warms my skin, the sound of the rushing water almost instantly lulls me to sleep. I need to relax and then I’ll go back home to talk with my stubborn husband.

*** 

I blink my eyes open some time later. Bob’s sniffling and crawling around the bushes. I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep, but the sun is in a different position than it was before. I sit upright, groaning at the soreness in my neck and upper back. Serves me right.

“Bob?” He looks at me, his tongue dangling. “Let’s go back home.”

A chill runs over me, as if someone or something’s watching me and I stop right where I am. There’s nothing around though. I stand up and move quickly back over the path that leads me to the houses. I don’t want to risk it. Bob follows me lazily and I can’t help but relax at the thought that if something was there he would have reacted to it.

When I reach my house, I immediately get inside while Bob prefers to lay down on the small porch. I sigh, leaning my back against the door.

“Where were you?” Jug’s voice comes from upstairs.

I look up at him. He’s sitting at the edge of the loft, his feet dangling. “I fell asleep by the stream.”

He frowns. “You should have told me. It’s not safe being down there by yourself.”

I bite my cheek, trying to keep calm. “I know. Bob was with me.”

“Are you still mad?”

“Am I still mad?” I ask him dumbfounded. “What do you think?”

He sighs. “I’m sorry. It’s just… Thinking about the possibility of not having you in my life scares me to death.”

“Jug. Everything could happen at any moment and you wouldn’t have any control over it.”

“I know.”

“So? You prefer to have nothing? If something happened at least you’d have a part of me with you.”

“I know… But nothing is going to happen.”

“I’m sure of it. I just want to talk about every possible outcome and birth is going to be tricky. The books I’ve started to read explain many things. You should read them too.”

“I’m going to.”

“Have you really changed your mind?”

“Of course not.” He sighs standing up and getting down. “I’m scared but… We’ll get over it, together.”

“Okay.” I smile leaning my forehead against his chest and wrapping my arms around his waist. “I don’t want to fight about things we can easily talk over.”

“Me neither… I got blinded by anxiety and concern. I would have followed you but I thought you wanted to stay by yourself.”

“You thought right but I wouldn’t have sent you away.”

He hides his face into my neck and hugs me tightly. “I’m sorry for acting that way.”

“It’s okay. The thought of losing you kills me too…”

“Hey. It’s going to be okay. Alright?”

I nod into his chest. “So…”

“So?”

“We’re going to start trying?”

His heart speeds up under my cheek. “Yeah. If that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I want.” I tell him earnestly.

He gifts me with a blinding smile. “Good.”

We stay embraced like that for a while, not caring that there are things that need to be done.

“Let’s just not pressure ourselves too much, okay? Toni told me that stress won’t help me…”

“I agree. It’s going to be okay.”

*** 

That night I go to bed with an empty stomach because I feel too bad to eat. Jughead has prepared me some soothing tea while I’m hiding under the blankets. I’ve never suffered this much of menstrual cramps. Not that I remember at least.

“How are you feeling?” He asks sitting beside me.

“Not so good.” I mumble turning toward him and attempting to smile a little bit. “It’ll pass. It’s normal.”

He brushes my hair back and kisses my forehead. “Can I do something to alleviate the pain?”

I bite my lip, thinking. “I’m not sure. It’s the first time I feel this bad…”

“I could go ask Toni. Is that okay?”

I nod smiling before burying my head back under the covers. I hear him leave the house and close the door. I wish I wasn’t this inexperienced in every little thing.  
He comes back five or so minutes later telling me he’s going to heat a couple of rugs I’ll have to keep on my lower belly. Toni said it’s going to help  
And it does help, indeed. The warmth of the heated rug and Jug’s presence behind me is enough to make me fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

*** 

The following morning, I feel a lot better. I wake up with my head propped against Jughead’s chest while his hand gently scratches my scalp.  
I sigh, turning my eyes up toward his. “How long have you been awake?”

“A while. You’re too cute when you sleep.” He leans down to kiss my lips. “How are you?”

“I’m feeling better. And I’m famished.”

He smiles fondly. “I’ll bring you something. We still have some canned peaches.”

“I can come downstairs…”

“No.” He shakes his head and sits on the bed starting to dress up. “I want you to relax and take the day off. You worked your ass off this past couple of weeks. No one’s gonna say you’re not doing anything for the group.”

“But I want to help…”

“I know and you’re always helping. Just for today, please?”

“Alright… if you insist!” I snuggle back under the covers. “I’ll take the peaches!”

He laughs. “Be right back.”

“Thank you!” I exclaim when he’s already halfway down the stairs. “Love you!”

“Love you too.”

I smile and close my eyes. I should probably go to the bathroom to change and wash my pad but I’m too lazy right now to move a single finger. I really want to relax for a day. I need this.  
If only we had some milk. I miss milk so much. “Hey Jug!” I call looking up at the ceiling.

“Yep?”

“Do you think there could be wild pigs or goats around?”

“Uhm… I don’t know. Possibly. Why?”

“We could transform one of the empty houses into a barn of some sort. We’d have our goat milk and our meat if we’re lucky to find a couple of pigs…”

I hear him make the stairs and a moment later he’s back with me, sitting on the bed with my food in a bowl. “That’s actually a pretty smart idea. I’m not sure how we didn’t think of it sooner. We could have taken more wire mesh at the Store…”

“Jug… There’s ton of wood around here. We can do whatever we need with it.”

“You’re probably right… I’m going to talk with the others after breakfast.”

“Also… I forgot to ask. Do we have wheat seeds?”

“Yep. That’s going to be so useful. Flour, bread, cakes… I can’t wait!”

I laugh. “Are you dreaming about those hamburgers you told me about?”

“Oh yeah. You can count on it!”

“You’re incredibly predictable, Juggie.”

“What can I say… I love my food.”

I laugh, munching on my peaches. “You can go if you want. I’m going to take you up on your word and take the day off. Tell them I’m still not feeling very well maybe?”

“Alright. What are you gonna do?”

“Sleep? And study. I’ll read one of the books and probably sleep some more. Oh, did you find something about contraceptive herbs? Veronica was asking.”

“I did, actually. I’m going to look for the herbs I’ve read about… They’re called Smartweed and they need to be used every day. Boil water and add the leaves. I suppose we’re gonna need a ton of it.”

“Go tell her then… She seemed a bit anxious about it. Maybe they don’t have any more condoms.”

“We could give them ours…” He says shrugging. “While I look for the herbs. Then I want them back.”

“We won’t need them anytime soon. And even after that… I’d prefer a contraceptive tea too. More effective. _Condom breaks!_ ”

“Alright.” He stands and leans down to kiss my forehead. “Take your time. I’m gonna go. If you need anything… use the walkie talkie.”

“I will. Be careful, please.”

“Don’t worry.”

He leaves as soon as he has gathered everything he needs for the day. I hope he finds the pigs. And the goats. We’d be set for good.

*** 

Not having running water is annoying. Thankfully we are able to wash into a big basin; we fill it with water collected by the stream and boil it. It’s a tight fit when it’s time to get in but we make do.  
In the last couple of days, I’ve been studying ways to make soap. Scented water isn’t enough. With the approaching spring there are many new plants and I’m trying to find some that could be used for the purpose.  
The need to pee disrupts me from my intense reading. Books are everywhere around me. Jug would probably have to sit on the ground.  
I get downstairs and go to the bathroom. Thankfully there’s still some water in the bucket; it helps to get the water down the pipe. We’ll have to study something more practical at some point.

I sit and look at the pad. I frown, I still hadn’t changed since the past night and it has just a couple of spots. I sigh thinking that maybe I’m still not as regular as I thought. I replace it with a clean one anyway, washing it as carefully as I can and placing it by the fire. I know it sounds disgusting but there’s not much else we can do. Jughead will have to live with my grossness.

Commotion startles me and I get outside immediately. Toni’s running toward her house, she gets inside and comes out with her backpack.

“What happened?” I ask her, worried.

“Nothing! Don’t worry! Stay there!” She shouts back at me before disappearing once again.

When I feel my side hurting dread falls over me. I run toward the direction she disappeared, not caring about my shoeless feet. My heart is beating so fast I’m scared I’m going to go into cardiac arrest.  
I hear him groan and protest before I see anything at all. Tears fall down my cheeks because all I can think about is that he’s going to leave me forever and we won’t have any of the things we talked about.

When I see him I start sobbing. He snaps his head up toward me. “Betts!”

“J-Jug!” I run to his side and kneel beside him. His leg is bleeding. “What happened?”

“I’m okay. I swear! Don’t worry.” He groans when Toni cuts his pantleg off to show a scary gash at the side of his thigh. I feel like throwing up.

“What happened?” I ask once again looking at Fangs and Sweet Pea.

Pea points toward a pig, a big pig, fastened to a tree not far from us. “That thing was hard to catch and when we did, it almost dragged him away. Jug got hurt during the fight… If we can call it like that.”

Guilt immediately spreads over me. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have suggested something so dangerous!”

“Hey!” Jughead scolds me. “I underestimated the pig. It’s not your fault! Okay? Don’t even think about it.”

I hold his hand in mine and watch while Toni disinfects the wound. “Is he gonna be okay?”

“He needs to keep it clean. We don’t want any infection spreading. But first… Sorry Jug but you need stitches and we don’t have anesthetic like we did when we were in the gang. It’s gonna hurt.”

He shrugs, squeezing my hand. “Go on. I’ll resist, don’t worry.”

“Jug…” I murmur.

“Just talk to me?” He tells me laying down and staring up at me.

I nod, sniffling. “You scared me. I thought you were dying and that all that we talked about would vanish forever.”

“Nah. It’s gonna be okay. It’s just a scratch-” He bites his bottom lip when Toni starts stitching the two sides of skin together. To keep from moaning in pain, I’m sure.

“W-well… Then we’re gonna have to start right away! Maybe not right away since we’re both undisposed but… you know what I mean!”

He smiles and nods. “A-alright…”

“And next time you go outside I’m gonna be there too! I’m way smarter than you!” I scold. “You should have known to be more careful!”

“Are y-you scolding me w-while I’m in pain?” He almost laughs before cursing. “Fuck. Toni!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Almost finished.”

“I am scolding you! And you two both!” I scowl at his two friends. “What were you thinking?!”

They both jump on the spot. “Sorry!” They exclaim at the same time.

“You better be!”

“It’s done.” Toni gasps. Her hands are shaking now, covered in blood. She cleans them quickly, disinfects the wound one last time and covers it with a bandage. “Take him home. He needs to rest.”

Sweet Pea and Fangs help him up and I follow them with Toni by my side. I’m shaking like a leaf. “He’s gonna be okay.” She says smiling.

“I know. T-thank you…” I stutter.

“He’ll have to sleep on the couch for a while. Keep the wound clean and disinfected. Do you know if there’s a herb or something that could function as antiseptic?”

“I don’t know… I’ll ask him.” I whisper trying to swallow through a new wave of nausea. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” I lean forward and spit on the ground.

She holds back my hair. “Hey, you okay?”

I nod quickly, keeping my eyes shut. “Yeah. All that blood…”

“I know… Come on, let’s get you home. Jug’s gonna need you.”

“What about the pig? We need it.”

“I’ll send Kevin. Don’t worry okay?”

I hug her quickly and nod. “Thank you.”

When I reach the guys, they are already helping Jughead onto the couch. I immediately sit beside him not sure of what to do.

“We’re going to put together a couple of crutches for you Jug. Don’t worry about anything. We’ll keep looking for the pigs and goats and report everything to you.” Sweet Pea tells him.

“And bring you the hares from your traps.” Fangs adds.

“Thank you, guys. I really appreciate it.” He says grimacing when he tries to move his leg.

“Take care of him.” Sweet Pea tells me before they leave the house.

I frown. “They should have taken care of you.”

“Betts. It’s just a scratch. Nothing’s broken fortunately and I’m gonna be okay. Alright?”

I snuggle against his side and bury my head under his chin. “I was so scared. My side started to hurt and… I didn’t know what to think.”

“I’m okay…” He murmurs leaning his head against mine.

“Well I’m not!” I exclaim. “And now you’re going to cuddle me and do everything I tell you until you’re perfectly fine!”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Promise!”

“Pinky promise?” He smirks looking down at me.

I punch him lightly. “Be serious!”

His hand wraps into my hair. “I am. I promise.”

Satisfied I lean up and kiss his mouth. “Don’t you ever do something so reckless. Ever again.”

“I won’t.” He sighs. “How are you feeling?”

“Emotionally drained and nauseous.” I mutter. “I’ve seen blood before but… I don’t know…”

“Could be your period too. Toni told me something about it if I remember correctly.”

“Yeah… probably. Do you want to eat something?”

He shakes his head. “I think I’ll sleep for a while. Wanna keep me company?”

“Always.”

We snuggle into each other mindful of his injured leg; sleep overcomes us shortly after.  



	36. Not possible, but then again...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey girls, do you think Kevin has finally lost it?”  
> They all look up from what they’re doing. “Why?” Veronica asks.  
> “He’s talking to the seeds!” I giggle standing up.

Being around a grumpy Jughead is almost funny. He keeps on grumbling and apologizing right after because he doesn’t really mean what he says.  
It’s been four days since his injury, the wound is clean, and the boys have started to work on one of the cabins to make it into a barn. They’re already at good point. They’ve dismantled the kitchen, stored everything useful in the basement of one of the other houses and now they’re starting to think of a way to smartly use the space to create pens for the three pigs they’ve found and the goats. Which we still don’t have but they’re hoping to find at some point.

Us girls have started to put together a fenced area where to leave the animals during the day and it’s coming along pretty well. At the end of the day we go to bed exhausted but happy.

“We have planted the tomato seeds. It’s maybe a little bit late but in a couple of months we should be able to see the results.” I tell him while I sip on some dandelion tea.

“What about wheat?”

“Unfortunately, the time is not right. The book says the right period is autumn. We’ll have to prepare the ground as soon as the weather starts to get warm, till the land and fertilize it before tilling one more time. Only at that point we can plant the seeds. We’re going to have good wheat by next year.”

He sighs. “That’s a long process.”

“Yep. Pretty long. Just think that by next year we’ll be able to make flour and prepare our own bread! I can’t wait Jug!”

“Me neither. Did you found the wild apple trees?”

“Yes! I’m sorry I forgot to tell you! They’re all in bloom… Let’s hope they’re summer trees! We’ll have apples by then.”

"What about the contraceptive herbs?"

“Veronica is going to look for them as soon as we've finished with the part of the fence we want to build today. She has read the paragraph you told her about and she doesn’t want to wait any longer.”

He shakes his head. “I feel useless and it’s been just four days. How long do I have to stay here? I miss sleeping with you!”

“Toni is coming by later today to see how you’re doing. We’ll ask her if you can climb the stairs. Alright?”

“Alright.” He sighs and looks at me. “How are you feeling?”

“Under the weather. I hope I’m not hatching a cold.”

“What about your period?”

“Already over.”

He groans. “I hate this injury!”

“Stop complaining!” I laugh standing up. “Can I leave you here? The crutches are right there beside you, there’s food and water on the table. You have your books. Anything else?”

“A kiss?”

“We can compromise over it.” I smirk leaning down to kiss his mouth. He tries to deepen it but I pull back. He groans in frustration. “Come on!”

“I’ll see you later.” I chuckle. “Use the walkie talkie if you need anything.”

“I hate you.” He mutters.

“Love you too!” I close the door behind my back. The girls are already at work under the curious gaze of our dog and the pigs. They’re not as bad as I thought. They’re docile and funny.

“Hey Betts!” Cheryl calls me. “How’s the patient?”

“Moody as always. He hates being inside while we work.”

“I can imagine!” Toni snorts making everyone laugh. “And how are you?”

“My period is gone, I just feel under the weather.” I join Veronica and together we start hammering a thick branch into the ground. It won’t take long for us to finish. I’m sure the pigs will be grateful.

“What are the symptoms?” T asks while she helps Cheryl tie another branch to the ones we’ve already hammered to the ground, horizontal to them.

“I feel gross. My back hurts, I’ve got headaches the last couple of days, but I think that has everything to do with Jug’s bugging. And nausea. Sometimes. Not always. It’s getting better though.”

She nods. “I’ll take a look into the books before coming to your house.”

“Thank you doctor.” I smirk. “How much do we owe you?”

“ _You_ owe me nothing. Jughead on the other hand…”.

“Don’t be so mean, T.” Cheryl scolds her. “He’s just a boy! You can’t pretend much!”

Toni sighs knotting the rope and nodding satisfied. “You’re right Cher. He’s just a boy.”

We work in silence for a while. The weather is warm, the sun beats down on us but the wind keeps us cool. I’m not sure what month it is. Maybe march? April? From the blossoming trees I’d say it must be spring or at least we’re pretty near it.  
The guys are planting carrot seeds and cucumbers. Fennels will be next, followed by potatoes and eggplants. They also found lettuce and watermelon seeds which we’re going to plant outside the greenhouse because they tend to spread while they grow. Kevin has prepared a nice spot for them and he’s already working on planting the seeds. Pumpkins and melons will have to be outside too. It’s going to be his next work.

I watch him while he plants his seeds. He has a relaxed smile on his face, and it seems like he’s talking. “Hey girls, do you think Kevin has finally lost it?”

They all look up from what they’re doing. “Why?” Veronica asks.

“He’s talking to the seeds!” I giggle standing up. I hear them laugh but the rushing in my hears and the sudden dizziness bring me right back down on my ass. Toni rushes over me, touching my forehead while the girls look at me.

“Are you okay?” Cheryl asks.

“I got dizzy. I stood up faster than I should have.” I murmur. “Don’t tell Jug.”

“I have zero intentions to tell him. He’s going to rip the stiches off.” Toni murmurs, still frowning. “How long have you been feeling this way?”

“Which way?”

“Dizziness, headaches…” She touches my boobs and I slap her hands away.

“Hey!” I snap.

“Tender breasts.”

“I told you I feel under the weather. And my breasts aren’t tender! I’ve just finished my period!”

“Okay. Come with me. Can you girls keep going by yourselves for a while?”

Cheryl and Veronica nod. “You sure you don’t need us?” V asks concerned.

“Don’t worry, she’s perfectly fine.” Toni tells them helping me up. No more dizziness.

“I wanted to know if Kevin has lost his mind though.” I grumble while we get to her house.

“He absolutely has.” She nods. “Come on, get inside and sit on the couch. I’ll get the book.”

“Am I dying?” I ask rolling my eyes.

“Don’t be dramatic.” She laughs from upstairs. “Got it!”

She joins me on the couch with a book in hand. “Hush for a moment.” She tells me while she reads something over it. She snaps it shut nodding.

What?

She turns her body toward me, one leg crossed under the other. Concentration written all over her face. “Tell me one last time all your symptoms.”

“I told you! Headaches, general discomfort, back pain… nausea that’s going away.”

She smiles. “How long has your period lasted?”

“Three maybe four days.”

“How was it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Heavy or light?”

“Light… Just some spotting like last time.”

She bites her bottom lip and nods. “Okay. I need to tell you something and I don’t want you to freak out-”

“I’m freaking out by default if you tell me not to freak out! What is it?”

“I’m positive you’re pregnant.” She tells me all in one breath.

My mouth hangs open. “No. I got my period just a couple of days ago.”

She opens the medical book and shows me the paragraph she wants me to read. _Early Pregnancy Symptoms_ , it says. I read through it as quickly as I can, identifying the signs. I snap the book closed and stand up quickly. The room seems smaller. “I… Oh my gosh.” I exclaim kneeling on the ground and grasping my hair.

“It’s going to be okay, Betts! Wasn’t this what you wanted?”

“Yeah but… I’m freaking out, Toni!” I look up at her.

“Aren’t you happy?” She asks sitting in front of me. Her hands grasp mine.

“I need to take a test. What if I’m just sick? I could be!”

“Okay, go home. Bring the test back here. Can you pretend everything’s fine in front of Jughead?”

I take a deep breath and stand up. My legs are shaking. “I hope he’s sleeping but yeah… I’ll do my best.”

“I’ll wait here.” She tells me as I vigorously open the door. “And Betts…”

“Yes?”

“It’s gonna be okay.”

“Yeah.” I murmur getting outside and closing the door behind my back. I take one more deep breath and look up at the sky. _How did I not know about this?_ I get to our cabin and hesitate. He’s gonna know there’s something going on. I have to be quick, distract him and leave right away.

“Hey Betts.” He welcomes when he hears me enter. He’s still reading his books.

“Hey. I need to grab a couple of energy bars.” I tell him trying to sound normal. “How are you?”

“Bored.” He turns toward me frowning. “You okay?”  
  
“Just stressed over those fences.” I sigh while I get into the basement, take the test and hide it into my pocket. I grab some bars for cover. “And Kevin has gone mad. He’s talking to the seeds! You should see!”

He snorts. “I wish I could. You seem agitated, are you sure you’re okay?”

I quickly run up the stairs and move backward until I bump into the door handle. “Yep!” I quip. “Everything’s fine! Keep doing what you’re doing! I’ll be back later with Toni!”

Confusion is very clear over his face before I slam the door shut. “ _Shit_.” I mutter going back to Toni’s cabin. She almost unhinges the door, making me jump.

“Did you get it?”

“I did.” I tell her getting inside. “He knows there’s something going on. I can’t hide him anything.”

“He’s always been very perceptive.” She starts to recount while I close myself into the bathroom. It’s tidy and scented with wild flowers. “When I realized I was gay I didn’t immediately accept it and kept to myself for more than a week, avoiding my friends and the gang. He came banging on my door and I told him I couldn't let him in because I was sick. He called me on my bullshit.”

I snort and sit on the toilet, reading through the instruction. I’m shaking so bad that I can’t keep the package leaflet steady. _Pee on the little hole and wait three minutes._ That’s easy enough.

“How many do I have to take? There are two in this box!” I ask her through the door.

“Take both!”

I do as she says, following the instructions. I pull up my pants, wash my hands, leave the sticks on the edge of the sink and exit the bathroom.

“I can’t stay in there by myself. For three minutes. I’ll go insane exactly like Kevin.”

She takes my hand and drags me toward the couch. We sit on it, her arm around me. “Why are you so worried?”

“I’m not worried. I mean… I am a little bit worried. We were talking about this. We were going to start trying soon but… So suddenly? I thought I just had my period.”

“Betty. We’re all here, for you. Okay? It’s going to be okay.”

I lean my head against her shoulder. “I hate condoms. I won’t ever use them as contraceptive! I hope Veronica has found those herbs.”

“She was going to look for them after we were finished with the fence.”

I sigh. “I’m sorry. We’re losing daylight over this. We need to go back to it…”

“We will. Once we know the results. Alright?”

I nod. “Do you think it’s time?”

“Let’s wait one more minute.”

We stay in silence for more than a minute, I can’t seem to find the courage to get up and go to the bathroom.

“Aren’t you happy?” Toni asks, confused.

“I am! I’m just surprised… I still have so many things to learn and understand.”

“Betty you have nine months to get ready. And I will get through everything with you, whenever you want to. Okay?”

I nod, smiling. “Thank you.”

“Okay. Let’s go. I’ll be with you.” She drags me on my feet and slaps my butt slightly. I laugh and sniffle through tears I hadn’t realized were falling.

I approach the bathroom slowly, wringing my hands and biting my lips. When I open the door and look at the tests with Toni beside me, butterflies go mad inside my stomach. _Positive_. I smile and laugh and hug her because in the end, that’s what I wanted. What _we_ wanted. Him and me.

Toni sniffles into my hair. “Are you okay?”

I nod quickly. “I am. Could we keep it to ourselves for a while? I need to get used to the idea and I have to tell Jug.”

“It’s common use to wait until the end of the first trimester before starting to tell people.”

I frown. “Why?”

“The first trimester is the most delicate one. The risk of miscarriage is higher. Obviously you don’t have to think about this. You’re healthy and young. We’ll find a way to get you all the vitamins you and the baby need. I have a list of them in the book. Okay?”

“Okay.” I nod, a bit concerned now.

“Don’t worry, alright? It’s gonna be okay.”

“Can I do whatever I want to? Can I still help you with the fence?”

“Of course, it’s not heavy lifting. Just drink plenty of water and rest. Your body will tell you when it’s time to stop.”

“Alright.” I smile. “Can I be excited now?”

She laughs and grabs my hands. “We can both be excited!”

We jump up and down like elementary school girls. I just hope everything’s going to be okay.

*** 

Now I understand the tiredness, the coming and going nausea and the general discomfort. Despite this, the excitement has gotten the best of me and I worked at the fence for the rest of the afternoon with Toni and Cheryl and with a smile on my lips. Veronica disappeared soon after our return to go look for the herbs and now she’s inside her cabin making contraceptive tea.  
By dinner time I’m beat. I can barely keep my eyes open but I’m also pretty hungry.

“I think I’m going home.” I say through a yawn. “Toni, you can come by anytime you want.”

“Yep. I’ll go fetch my things and join you.”

I pass by the greenhouse; the guys are putting their tools away. “Good job!” I compliment them.

“Thank you, Betty. Going home to tend to the patient?” Kevin asks.

“Yep. Oh, I was thinking that maybe we should study how to build a drying chamber of some sort… We could smoke the meat and store it for winter.”

They stare at me, clearly bewildered. “You’re a genius Betty.” Sweet Pea says. “Do we have instructions on how to make one?”

“I think one of the survival books had something on the matter. I’ll look through them… Not tonight though. I’m falling asleep.”

“It's okay. We still need to finish the barn and plant the last seeds. Go to sleep.” Kevin tells me.

When I get inside our cabin Jughead is still sitting where I left him, arms crossed over his chest and head leaned over the back of the couch. Sleeping. What am I gonna tell him? I’m full of doubts right now. He’s always so moody…

I step into the basement looking for something of the remaining canned food that could satisfy my hunger. There are still some meat sticks, peas and peaches. I don’t have the energy to make anything else and this morning the traps were empty. Unfortunately.

I take the stairs two at a time and close the door as quietly as I can, not wanting to wake him up for now. I still need a couple of minutes for myself.  
I open the can of peas and put them by the fireplace, trying to warm them up a bit. In the meantime, I portion the meat sticks into two plates and dump the peaches into a bowl. I take everything with me and sit on the couch beside Jughead. He must have registered the movement because he opens his eyes immediately.

“Good morning.” I chuckle. “Slept well?”

He scratches his face. “More or less. This couch is killing my back. I want to sleep on our bed.”

“Toni will come by soon. She’ll tell you if you can try to climb the stairs or not.”

He eyes the plates in my hands. “No hare?”

I shake my head giving one to him. “Fangs told me he’s going to move the traps tomorrow.”

“Alright. What about the pigs?”

“They’re okay. The barn is almost completed…” I tell him while I put some of the peas into my plate. “Do you want some?”

“Yeah. Thanks. The fence?”

“Almost over…”

“Hey… are you okay?” He asks frowning. “I wanted to talk to you this afternoon but you run away.”

I start coughing. I knew he was going to ask. “We needed to finish what we had started… and… you know. We were busy!”

“Really.”

I bite onto a spoonful of peas, filling my mouth. I nod, not looking at him. When is Toni coming by?

“Betty.” He sighs. “What happened? I’m going to find out one way or another…”

 _Not this time._ A knock on the door makes us jump. I stand and quickly get over it. Right on time.

“How’s the patient?” Toni asks as soon as she sees him.

“Bored to death.” He mutters. “And my back hurts. This couch is a death trap.”

She sits beside him. “Pants off. I need to take a look at the wound.”

He does as she says and sits back down. I look while Toni peals back the bandage. “Seems like it’s healing well. It’s gonna scar but no infection. Lucky you.”

“Can I sleep in my bed?”

“You can try to take the stairs. If you feel like the stitches are pulling don’t push yourself. They could tear off.”

“Alright. Will do.” He sighs then looks back at me. “Is she okay?” He suddenly asks while she puts a fresh bandage over the wound.

Toni’s eyes find mine, gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed by my cleaver husband. “Yeah. Why shouldn’t she be?”

“There’s something going on that she’s not telling me, and you just confirmed it.”

For once she doesn’t have an answer to give him, she just finishes her job, gathers her things and stands up. “Sorry Jug. I don’t know what to tell you. I’ll see you tomorrow Betts.” She looks at me pointedly and I nod.

I know I have to tell him. Part of me can’t wait to see his reaction while the other can’t help but be scared. _I am scared!_ I am pregnant for God’s sake! Until this morning I thought I had just finished my period. I stare at the closed door, feeling his gaze on me and the impatience radiating from his every pore.

“Betts…” He sighs. “I don’t want to force you into telling me if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that.” I say facing him. “I just… I’m still confused and somehow scared…”

“Come here…” He practically orders patting the cushions of the couch. I sit beside him, leaning my head against his chest. “What’s going on?”

I take a deep breath and swallow. My throat is dry, I’m not sure how I’ll be able to spit the words out. I still haven’t said them aloud since I found out.

“T-There's something you should know…” I whisper playing with the hem of his shirt. “I just- don’t know how to tell you…” The tests are in my pocket, wrapped around a small rag. Maybe I could show them to him? But I peed on them and I don't feel like touching them right now.

“You know you can tell me everything… What happened? You’re making me worry now…”

“Remember how I wasn’t feeling so good the last couple of days?”

He nods. “Yeah. I told you many times to talk with Toni.”

“I talked to her. Or better yet… she made me talk to her. She wanted to know every symptom I had and…” I sigh and sit up, staring at him. “Jughead… I’m not even sure how this is possible considering everything but… That broken condom signed our future.”

I keep my eyes on him while he digests the news. He blinks and frowns, unmoving. “Wait… Are you being serious right now?”

“As serious as a heart attack.”

His face softens and a smile starts spreading over his lips. He glances down at my belly and then back up at my face. “Really, really?”

I laugh, my eyes are stinging. “I know it’s sudden and everything but… I-I’m… I’m p-pregnant.” There. I said it. A big weight instantly lifts off my shoulders.

He launches himself at me, wrapping his arms around my body and squeezing tightly. We stay curled into each other for a long while, crying and laughing at the same time. My hands are shaking while I grip the fabric of his shirt.

“I don’t understand…” He says after a while leaning back and wincing because of the strain he put on his leg. “You had your period and cramps…”

“I couldn’t understand either. Toni made me read a paragraph of her book which explains the early symptoms of pregnancy. Spotting, cramps, headaches, back pain… dizziness.. which I got for the first time today while I was working at the fence. It all adds up, Juggie.”

He hides his face into his hands and scrubs roughly. “I can’t believe this. Please tell me I’m not dreaming…”

I pinch him. “You’re not.”

“Are you okay? Is everything okay?” He asks worriedly.

“As far as I know, yeah. I’m going to need prenatal vitamins though… Toni asked me to tell you if you could look for herbs I can take. She has the list of vitamins I need to take…”

“I’ll look right away!” He starts fumbling through one of his books but I stop him.

“Not now, I want to finish my food and go to bed. Can we do that?”

“Whatever you want.” He kisses me deeply. “I love you…” His voice breaks. “Y-you’re everything to me.”

*** 

With some difficulty Jughead is able to get on the loft without damaging Toni’s work, immediately collapsing on our bed. I look at him while I change into my night attire. Nothing about my aspect has changed. I can’t believe symptoms start this early on… I must be more or less fifteen to twenty days along. I look down at my still flat stomach, a shiver running all over my back. Am I ready? Is this the right place where to raise a child? Will I be able to do this?

“Betts?” He calls me. I turn toward him. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

I smile starting to brush my hair. “I know. I just need to get used to the idea that I’m not by myself anymore and that I won’t be for some time…”

He leans back against the headboard. “Come here. Let me brush your hair.”

I sit cross-legged with my back facing him and let him try to get through the knots. I close my eyes and relax. I’m tired, so tired I risk to fall over.

“I’m still wrapping my mind around the news too…” He puts the brush down and makes me lie beside him. One of his hands lifts my shirt and he rests it just underneath my bellybutton. The usual butterflies start their dance into my stomach and I blink back the tears.

“We need to get ready for real. Read the books, talk with Toni and prepare. For everything. We need to baby proof the cabin even though we still have months to go…”

“We have time. Just… don’t get too overwhelmed, okay? You have every right to take it easy now. I don’t want you to get stressed. Please? You’ve got something precious in here…” He tells me quietly, tapping my skin.

I sniffle into his neck and nod. “I will. I just don’t want to stay inside all the time… Toni told me I still can do what my body tells me to do. No heavy lifting though… _I need to read those books_.”

“Can we tell the others?”

“Not now. I’d prefer to wait until the first trimester is over if you don’t mind… The risk of miscarriage is higher and I don’t want to get everyone excited if something happens.”

He hugs me tighter. “We’ll wait but nothing’s gonna happen.”  
  
My eyelids close on their own accord. “Goodnight Juggie.”

“Goodnight, love.” His hand remains there, warming my body and making my heart beat a little bit faster than usual.

I fall asleep with a smile on my lips and many thoughts whirling around my head.  



	37. Adjusting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What happened?” Jug asks sitting beside me.  
> I shrug, pouting. “Nothing.”  
> “That doesn’t seem like nothing.”  
> “I don’t want to talk about it!” I snap at him, immediately regretting it. “I’m sorry… It’s just… My fucking hormones.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT!
> 
> Thank you all for Kudos and comments! Always appreciated!🙏🙏

Nettle leaf, red raspberry leaf, dandelion leaf, blackberry leaf, alfalfa leaf and spearmint leaf. That’s the mix of wild herbs I’ve been taking for the last two months, every single day. The taste is terrible but there’s not much else I can do. No one beside us and Toni knows yet but I’m sure they’re going to realize that there’s something going on. I’m always tired, always nauseous and over emotional, my hormones are all over the place and I can’t bear the littlest joke because I burst into tears. Besides that, I’m happy. The books I’m reading say the fetus, my baby, is the size of a raspberry. In terms of pregnancy I’m at eight weeks, which means I’m almost at two months. I still don’t get it! At least Toni does.

The barn has been finished, the fenced area for the pigs and goats is done and the guys are on their way to finish the drying chamber. The books say the best way to conserve meat is smoking it after being cooled and cleaned of fat and connective tissue. Then we have to cut it into strips and hang it over smoking wood, better if in a closed space.

Jug found some wild chickens a week ago. He came back from a hunting trip with two birds in hand; he was all smiling and proud. _”Eggs! We can have eggs!”_  
So now we have a henhouse with two chickens. Me and the girls constructed it with some of the wired mesh we found at the store and created a comfortable place where they can sleep at night and lay eggs.

The girls and I are currently at the stream, washing clothes.  
We’ve found a simple recipe to make soap that uses ashes and animal fat. Since we don’t use the fat, we have decided to give it a try. It took almost twenty days for the bars to be ready. The process was particularly long; we rendered the fat, boiling it with water until it was cleaned by any meat or blood residue and then we filtered the ashes with the use of an old strainer we found in one of the cabins. We slowly poured water over the ashes before adding fats and some scented flowers to the collected liquid, called lye or caustic soda. After that we left the mixture to stand for fifteen days. So now we have soap! And I’m so glad we do because I absolutely need to feel clean again. Especially now that I’m pregnant and sweat easily.

“Earth to Betty!” Veronica waves her hand in front of my face. I must have spaced out. It happens quite a bit these days.

“What?”

“You were staring into space!” She chuckles. “This soap is amazing. Don’t you think?”

“Oh, yeah. It does its job. I’m glad you’ve found that recipe.” I tell her while I wring out the last of my shirts.

“Are you girls ready to get back? It’s starting to get dark.” Cheryl asks with a basket full of both hers and Toni’s clothes.

“Yep. All done! V?”

“Me too. I hope the guys have finished the drying chamber! I need some jerky in my life.” She sighs heavily.

“I know it’s not the best but it’s our chance to store the meat. You saw that deer the other week. We had to throw away half of it because it rotted.”

“I know. I miss French Cuisine. Don’t you?” She asks.

Toni and I snort in unison while Cheryl nods her head quickly. “So much, V. Soupe à l'oignon, cassoulet, coq au vin…”

My stomach churns at the idea. Yuck. “I prefer burgers and fries.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Cheryl exclaims almost offended. “It’s the best of the best!”

“Well, I’m sorry if my limited life experiences don’t comprehend French Cuisine or expensive restaurants!” I snap. Littlest jokes… remember?

Cheryl and Veronica are both taken aback by my reaction while Toni just smiles, annoying me even more. I stomp away from them even when they try to stop me. I pass by the guys tending to our garden and immediately get inside my house slamming the door shut behind my back. I put the basket full of wet clothes on a chair and sit on the couch, arms crossed over my tender breasts.

The door opens some time later.

“What happened?” Jug asks sitting beside me.

I shrug, pouting. “Nothing.”

“That doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” I snap at him, immediately regretting it. “I’m sorry… It’s just… My fucking hormones.”

He takes my hand in his and smiles. “I understand. And when the others know they’ll understand too.”

I sniffle and curl myself against his side. “I might have overreacted to something Cheryl said…”

“Don’t worry alright? Just relax for now.” He kisses my lips. “Are you hungry?”

I roll my eyes. “What kind of question is that?”

He laughs. “Got it. I can cook some of the meat we’ve kept in the cooler and side it with some dandelion roots. What do you say?”

“Alright…” I mumble. “I wish we had potato chips right now…”

“Well… as soon as they’re ready we can store some of the fat and fry them.”

“I wish we had them now.”

He laughs one more time, gently. “If I could bring them to you I would.”

“I know. And I love you for this…”

“How are you feeling besides the moodiness?”

I glare at him. “My breasts hurt, I’m nauseous and I have cramps.”

“Can I do something for you?”

“Cook me something to eat and later I want you to make love to me!”

He kisses my neck and cheek. “Whatever you want.”

I close my eyes, getting lost in his slow ministrations and groan in frustration when he stands, leaving me there. He chuckles. “I hate you, Jug.”

“No, you don’t. I’m going to prepare you the best dinner you’ve ever eaten!”

I snort. “I have my doubts!”

“Hey now! Don’t offend the chef please! Get changed into something more comfortable in the meantime. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“Alright…” I sigh heaving myself off the couch and climbimg the stairs. That’s when a thought comes to my mind. “Jug?”

“Yep?”

“How am I going to get upstairs when my stomach gets in the way?”

I hear him stop whatever he's doing. “Well, fuck. That’s something we didn’t even think about.”

“We could bring the bed down? And take the couch upstairs? For the time being?” I tell him looking down from the balustrade.

“I don’t see an alternative. That couch is really a death trap to sleep on. I can attest that.”

“We’ll think about it then…” I take off my trousers and shirt and start rummaging through the boxes of clothes for a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt. Toni really thought about everything. While I look around, I find the dark red laced lingerie Toni made me take home and I smile. _Why not try it?_ I tell myself. After all I won’t be able to wear it in a little while.  
I take off my bra and panties, replacing them with the new set before putting on the leggings and shirt.  
The bra is tighter now than the day I tried it on. Being pregnant also means having bigger breasts for Jug’s joy and my discomfort. I’ve always liked my boobs; they were maybe the only think I loved about my body, but I can’t complain. I want to be able to breastfeed as long as I can.

While Jughead cooks I continue with my readings. _Pregnancy Stages_ is the actual paragraph I'm at. The smell coming from downstairs is amazing and the fact that it hasn’t really bugged my sensitive nose is very positive.

 _The baby at this stage has little legs and arms, moving around like crazy._ The paragraph tells. I can’t help but smile at the idea. I still won’t be able to feel it though.

The symptoms are almost all there instead; sore breasts? Checked. Morning sickness? Checked. Too bad that it doesn’t really stuck to morning. Fatigue? Double checked. Heightened sense of smell? Pregnancy cramps and weird dreams? Checked, checked and checked. The only thing I still haven’t checked off the list is the spotting. Aside from the very beginning, my panties are all clear of bloody spots. The book says sex could possibly cause some of it because the cervix is more sensitive… I don’t want to risk it.  
  
“It’s ready!” Jug calls me.

“On my way!” I leave the book open on the bed and get downstairs. “Our baby has legs and arms!” I exclaim as soon as I reach him. “And he or she moves like crazy! I can’t wait to be able to feel it move!”

He hugs me tightly. “I can’t wait either. I need to start reading that book.”

I kiss him on the mouth. “Don’t worry. I’m covering most of it!”

He rests one of his hands over my belly, smiling down at it. “I still can’t believe it.”

“As soon as I start showing it’ll get more real… You’ll see.”

“I know…” He sighs. “Come on, let’s eat. I’m sure you’re famished.”

My stomach growls as a response and he laughs.  
The meat is delicious, well cooked and spiced with herbs he has collected during the day. We eat in companionable silence, Bob’s with Sweet Pea and Veronica, and by the end of the meal I’m satiated. Another kind of hunger is taking residence in the pit of my stomach now, hunger and impatience.

“Can we go upstairs now?” I ask him.

“Go on, let me put the plates in the water… I’ll be right there.”

I smirk. “Perfect. I’ll wait for you.”

I climb the stairs quickly and immediately undress down to my lingerie. I don’t feel particularly comfortable but I’m sure he’s going to like it. I sit on the bed, back against the headboard and wait.

I hear him move around and put everything in its place before getting to the stairs. I hold my breath, biting my bottom lip and wait.  
He doesn’t notice me right away because he takes a moment to take his sweatshirt off. But then he lifts his gaze on me and freezes.

“Remember when I told you I had to show you something… when we got back from the store?” I tell him kneeling on the bed.

He shakes his head. “I don’t think there’s enough blood in the right head for me to remember something like that.”

I laugh. “Well? Do you like it?”

“Do I like it?” He jumps on the bed and takes me down with him. He lies down on top on me and kisses the swell of my breasts. “I love it…”

“Good…” I sigh closing my eyes. “I wanted you to like it. Just… be gentle?”

"I will."

There’s a moment in which the only hearable sounds are our heavy breaths and my moans. His hands are everywhere while he sucks on my nipples thought the lacy bra. The sensations are almost unbearable.  
I grip his hair while he moves lower, licking the skin just under my breasts before leaving tender kisses over my belly. He stares at it for a moment, lips ticking up into a smile.

“I can feel the difference now…” He whispers looking up at me. “Don’t you?”

I nod. “Just a bit.”

“There’s a tiny subtle swell when you're on your back and you’re not soft anymore.” He takes my hand and gently pushes it over my skin. It’s kinda hard under the surface. He kisses my hand and then traps it under my back. “Hold it there for me?”

I nod quickly. “I want you Juggie.”

“You told me to be gentle…” He murmurs over the skin of my groin. “Let me be gentle…”

With maddening slowness, he pushes the panties down my legs. “Spread them please.” He tells me.

I do as he says and watch as he nibbles at the skin of my thighs, getting higher and higher with each little bite. I’m going insane but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

My back arcs when he attaches his lips to my clit and sucks. It never gets old and now that I’m pregnant he has this special attention toward me where he always wants me to come first. Not that I really need the extra teasing because I’m turned on most of the time anyway.  
His fingers join his mouth, creating a friction that makes me moan loudly and close my eyes.

“Keep looking at me baby.”

I try, I really try to keep my eyes open but then he lightly bites my nub, crooks his fingers speeding the movement, and I’m gone. Two minutes in and I’m already coming hard. I can’t even voice the sensations he makes me feel.

“Can you come for me one more time?” He asks not slowing down. The thumb of his other hand moves against my still very sensitive clit.

“I-I’m not sure…” I stutter, shivering.

“Give me one more…” He murmurs going back down on me. His tongue is hot against my flesh. Everything’s burning and I can’t keep still. My legs are cramping from how much I’m holding them back, but then he touches that spot inside of me, repetitively, and I snap them shut. Trapping him between my thighs.

“Oh gosh, oh gosh… Stop. I’m too sensitive, please.” I almost sob. It feels so good!

He crawls over me, kissing my belly once more and cradling my head into his hands. “Look at me…”

I blink my eyes open, but I can’t really get them to focus. Tingles are still running all over my body. “That was… _intense_ ”.  
  
“Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He smirks kissing my lips. We instantly get lost in it, our tongues tangling together. The heat into my core comes back with a vengeance. “I want you…”

He smiles against my mouth. “I’m here.” He shuffles around, getting his pants off without standing up then he pushes inside of me. A part of my mind is still very lucid, remembering what the book said, and he must read the worry over my face because he slows down. “Is everything okay?”

I nod quickly. “Just… Be careful? I’m over paranoid right now… I know sex is safe during pregnancy but… I’ve read something earlier that might have stuck inside my head.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle… And if you want to stop, we’ll stop. Okay?”

I shake my head. “I don’t want you to stop.”

“Okay then…” He resumes his slow thrusts, keeping them gentle, as he said.

We move together, our bodies lost into a dance that by now comes naturally. No overthinking, no pressure. Just us and our needs coupled with our love.

It lasts longer than usual but we’re not in a rush to get to completion. He keeps peppering kisses all over my face and neck, sometime sucking on the skin and surely marking me. Not that I worry about that, I’ve left a few marks on him too.  
His hand moves from my hip up to the mark that links us together and warmth spreads all over me. I shiver, grabbing his wrist and pushing his hand more firmly against my skin. Wanting to feel him. I do the same then, planting my hand against his mark. He moans into my neck losing the rhythm for a moment; not for long though because the link we’ve created brings us almost over the edge. He just grinds against me a couple of times before we both come gasping for air.

He holds his weight up, not wanting to put too much pressure on me. “That… was perfect.” He whispers, head still buried into my neck.

“Y-yeah… beyond p-perfect.”

He gently abandons my body, making me wince because of the friction. He stands up, getting to the corner of our room where we stored a small basin full of water, and wets a small towel before coming back to me. He cleans me and helps me out of the lacy bra. It’s beautiful but so uncomfortable right now. The night shirt comes next followed by some regular panties. Then he fixes himself and joins me under the covers.

He spoons me from behind, his hand resting firmly against my belly. “Do you feel okay?”

“I feel perfect…” I mumble sleepily. “I was thinking… What are you hoping for?”

He smiles against my ear; I feel his lips move. “I’m not sure… You?”

“I think I’m okay with both… I mean… Boy or girl. I just wish for the baby to be healthy.”

“So… no preference?”

“Well… Maybe I’d be more at ease with a girl but… I don’t know. Really.”

“We’ll have to wait and see…” He pats his hand over my bellybutton. “She or he just needs to cook a little bit longer.”

*** 

Nausea wakes me up early the following morning. It’s tiring, actually. I can’t wait to get past this first trimester. I turn on my back and stare at the ceiling, willing the sickness to go away.

“What is it?” Jug asks from my side, his face is still smashed against the pillow.

“The usual nausea. Go back to sleep. I need to go pee.”

He mumbles something indecipherable. I get up, slowly, trying to not jostle my stomach too much and get to the stair. We absolutely need to find a solution. It’s getting tiring with all the times I need to relieve myself.

I close the bathroom door and light the small candle we keep there, the light outside is still way too feeble to see well.  
The first thing I do when I sit on the toilet is check the underwear. Nothing. No spots. I take a deep breath of relief and smile even though this morning sickness is bugging me to death.  
_“It’s all worthy!”_ I whisper to myself while I dump water into the toilet. I pull my panties up and frown. _That wasn’t there the other night!_ I lift the shirt and look down. Surely enough there’s a small bump there. Small but very clear now. The book said I would have started to show overnight. I can’t help but laugh and sob at the same time. _It’s right here!_ I touch it with a finger, scared to see it vanish at any moment but it’s there!

“Betts?” I here Jughead call my name. “Is everything okay?”

I exit the bathroom and take the stairs as quickly as I can before kneeling over the bed. Tears are still falling down my cheeks and when he sees them, he immediately sits up. “What happened?”

“Nothing!” I shake my head laughing. “Happy tears…” I lift my shirt once more and watch as he stares at it. His mouth hanging open.

His hands immediately find the swell and he keeps them there. “How?”

“Overnight… exactly as the book said!” I sniffle adding my hand to his.

He leans down and lays his lips over the tiny bump, kissing it. The tears fall harder. Unequivocally. I scratch his head, gently… not rushing him into anything.

“Do you think the baby can hear?”

“I don’t think so but…” I shrug. “You can still talk to him or her if you want.”

He smiles and leans back down. “Hey there… It’s your dad. You’re here and… I love you.”

I hold back the sob I so want to release and brush his hair back from his face. He looks up at me, eyes glistening. “I love you.” I murmur. “And the baby will love you too.”

We cuddle then, having zero intentions to move a single finger today. We’re going to stay in the cabin and relax.

“Do you think we should inform Toni?” I ask him sleepily. The nausea is still there but it’s bearable for now.

“Maybe… I’ll go tell her and talk with the others. They need to know we won’t be around today.”

“Okay… Seems fair.”

“You have to drink your tea. Do we have the herbs you need?”

I nod into his chest eyes closing. “In a couple of jars, down in the basement…”

“Okay I’ll fetch them when I come back and make your tea. Sleep some more, you need the rest. I’ll be right back.”

I smile and snuggle back into the pillow. He pushes the covers over my shoulders and kisses my forehead. I fall asleep just as he gets down the stairs.

*** 

_It’s a beautiful day outside. The sun is high, and the birds are chirping loudly all around me. The sound of running water gives me the peace of mind I was looking for when I decided to take a walk. Looking down at the ground I can’t really see my feet. Since when did my belly grow so much? I was showing just a tiny bit!_  
 _When I look back up clouds have taken the sun’s place and the birds aren’t chirping anymore. The wind is blowing and I’m suddenly so very cold. When I look back down dark, murky water is quickly raising. In the blink of an eye it’s up to my neck and the second later I’m submerged. What is this? The silence under water is almost comforting. Every sound that a moment before was clear, now is muffled._  
 _Someone calls my name, repeatedly, but I can’t do anything now. Then a hand grabs my shoulder and starts dragging me away…_

I wake with a start, sitting on the bed and gasping for air. I hate pregnancy dreams. They’re all jumbled up and most of the times I wake up scared. I know it’s a way for my fears to come up and say _“Hello! We’re still here, lurking! Don’t forget about us!”_

I stand up, put on the leggings I discarded the other night and get downstairs. I go outside, taking in the beautiful day and breathing in the fresh air.

“What are you doing up?” Jughead asks when he sees me.

“I had a bad dream and needed to take some air.” I tell him leaning against the wall.

He joins me. “What was it about?”

“Weird pregnancy dreams… I’m okay don’t worry.” I smile. “What did Toni say?”

“She’ll come by later today. And the guys are working on the drying chamber… It’s coming along pretty good. The tomatoes are almost ready. I’m getting sick of carrots.”

“You’re going to eat our lettuce in a little while too. I can’t.” I sigh. “Tomatoes and carrots will do for now. I can’t wait for eggplants and potatoes to be ready.”

“We could try to catch some fish too… I read that during pregnancy it’s very nutritional.”

I turn my nose at the mention of fish. “My stomach doesn’t agree with it.”

“Are you still nauseous?” He lightly massages my shoulders.

“Always…” I groan. “I hope it won’t progress after the third trimester. Usually it doesn’t but in some cases it does.”

“Do you wanna go take a walk? Get to the stream?”

“Not right now… I want to get back in bed with you and do nothing. Is that okay for you?”

“It’s perfect. Let’s go… Our lazy day starts now.”

I giggle as he drags me inside and slams the door closed. I couldn’t ask for anything better.


	38. Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stop it please or I’m going to start crying.”  
> “No! Okay! No more talking about fries for now!” Jug assures me almost panicking. Poor guy, he had to dry many tears. But then again… why should I be the only one to suffer? I’m the pregnant one, he just took part during the fun side of it!  
> “Why is she frowning now?” I hear Toni murmur.  
> I snap my eyes back on her. “Can’t I frown?”

When I hit the 12-week mark everything starts to change. It’s been difficult to try and keep my hormones at bay the past few weeks; If I was moody at eight weeks, at eleven I was a monster. And since I had to suppress myself because our friends are still in the dark, Jughead took the worse of it. I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much in my entire life.  
Nausea has transformed into vomiting by week ten. That was awful but I’m so thankful for my husband gentle caring. He’s been amazing through everything.

“Shit, Betts!” Toni exclaims when she sees me, disrupting me from my thoughts. Jughead’s right behind her. She has started to come by at the start of every new week to take measurements of my belly and talk. I’m sure the others are suspecting there’s something going on because I haven’t been around much lately. Too tired and too sick.

I frown. “What is it?”

“That’s one serious belly! I don’t think you’ll be able to keep it a secret any longer, guys!”

“Yeah, we know.” I smile looking down at the bump. There’s no doubt now, I definitely look pregnant. I’ve been able to hide under Jug’s sweatshirts but it’s becoming harder and harder with every passing day. “One more week and we’ll tell. We already have a plan ready.”

“Good. How are you feeling?” She asks sitting beside me on the couch and holding my wrist to measure my pulse.

“Better on one side, worse on the other. I don’t have that terrible nausea anymore but headaches and dizziness are killing me.”

“We need to bring the bed down…” Jug tells us from his standing position behind me.

“Absolutely, guys. You need the rest and getting up and down those stairs every half an hour to pee isn’t ideal.”

“As soon as we tell the others I’ll ask for their help… One more week.” He confirms squeezing my shoulder with one hand.

“Alright… Let’s get to business then. I’m sure you know the baby is as big as a plum. It should be about 2.1 inches long and .49 ounces _and_ knows how to open and close his or her fingers and curl the toes. The baby is also developing reflexes so… poke your belly from time to time. It’ll help!”

“Okay… I’m getting pretty excited now, I can’t deny it!” I smile biting my lip. “And I can’t wait to feel the baby move. Sometimes I feel a fluttering and think _here it is!_ But then I realize it’s just gas.”

Jughead laughs and leans down to kiss the crown of my head. “She’s pretty gassy, as a matter of facts.”

“Hey! Now!” I scold slapping his hand.

Toni laughs. “That’s normal. Keep drinking and eat your vegetables… Not that we have many alternatives!”

“Right.” I whine. “You don’t know how much I’m craving fries. I need them at every time of the day. And those potatoes are still not ready!”

“Don’t worry Betts. Won’t take long! Sorry but… how are you going to fry them?”

“We’ll use the animal fat and flavor them with some salty herbs.” He tells her making my mouth water.

“Stop it please or I’m going to start crying.”

“No! Okay! No more talking about fries for now!” Jug assures me almost panicking. Poor guy, he had to dry many tears. But then again… why should I be the only one who suffers? I’m the pregnant one, he just took part during the fun side of it!

“Why is she frowning now?” I hear Toni murmur.

I snap my eyes back on her. “Can’t I frown?”

She quickly raises her hands and starts gathering her things. “Of course, you can. Sorry! Anyway… everything seems perfect. I need to get back to the cuddly animals now. See you later guys!”

She leaves the house in a hurry, making me frown even more. “I’ve made her run away.”

“No, you didn’t.” Jug tries to reassure me as he sits by my side and wraps an arm around my shoulders. His other hand finds mine over the bump. “She knows what you’re going through just as much as I do.”

“I should be getting over these mood swings…” I mutter leaning my head against his chest. “I’m tired of them.”

“You’ve just entered the twelfth week. Give yourself some time. Alright?” He gently pokes my belly making me giggle.

“Okay… Thank you, for being so understanding.”

“I’d be a dick if I wasn’t!”

“True.” I smile looking up at him. “Jug… I want to do something today. I’ve been holed up in this house for far too many days now. I’ll wear one of your hoodies and a jacket… I still can hide it under the layers.”

“Okay, what do you wanna do?”

I shrug. “Wash some of the clothes… We have a pile of dirty shirts that need to get cleaned and gather some prenatal herbs… I’m almost out of stock.”

“Alright. We’ll go together then…”

“I don’t want to keep you from your job… I’ll go with one of the girls.”

“Hey… You are my priority, alright? Nothing comes before you right now.”

“That’s actually a pretty good answer.” I smile leaning up in search of a kiss; he doesn’t keep me waiting. His lips are always so soft… if I didn't feel so yucky all the time I’d probably jump his bones.

“Come on… I’ll go take one of my hoodies and a jacket from upstairs than we can go.”

“Thank you, Juggie.”

*** 

We leave the house bickering. He scolded me because I wanted to take the basket of dirty clothes. It’s not like it weights a ton!

“I still can hold a basket of clothes!” I keep arguing.

“This thing doesn’t weight nothing, Betty. I’m not asking you to sit on your ass! Just… let me do this? Please?”

“Alright…” I mumble walking beside him, hands buried deep into the pockets of his jacket. “Alright.”

“Everything’s okay?” Kevin’s voice comes from the garden. “Long time no see Betty!”

We turn toward him, startled. I didn’t see him there.

“Everything’s fine. You? How is it going?” Jug asks him.

“Good. Jug have you become her bagman? Marriage has softened you to the bones!” He laughs looking up at us briefly.

I feel the tears wet my cheeks before I can stop them. I know he’s somewhat joking but… It’s nothing I haven’t thought about. Have I really changed him this much? I snatch the basket from Jughead’s hands, taking him by surprise, and turn my back on them. “I’ll be at the stream.”

“Betty!” He calls me before turning back on our friend. “Kevin you don’t know what you’re talking about! You should shut that fucking mouth of yours!” I hear him seethe.

I stop, leaning against a tree because the tears have become full on sobs now and they're messing with my breathing. _Get it together, Betty!_  
  
“What did I say?” I hear Kevin snap back. “She’s been holed up in that house for almost an entire month! We all do our part here! The fact that she’s younger and the boss’s wife doesn’t give her the right to do nothing!”

“For fuck’s sake! Shut your damn mouth!” Jug shouts making me jump. I’m sure everyone is aware of the fight by now.

I sit on the ground, feeling suddenly lightheaded. Passing out is the last thing I need but I’m not sure I can control what’s happening at this point. Their voices get further away even though I haven’t moved an inch. I try to call Jug’s name but I’m shaking so bad… I take a branch from the ground and dig it into my hand, hard, hoping to catch Jughead’s attention. I fall on my side just as I hear him curse and yell my name.

*** 

Something cold positioned over my forehead wakes me up. I grumble. I wanna sleep. Why are they waking me?

“Betty? Can you open your eyes please?” Toni’s voice enters my consciousness.

I blink them open, my head hurts. Why am I on the ground? Outside? Then memories come back in a rush. I gasp, doing my best to sit up but finding it difficult.

“Please, stay down…” Jughead almost begs me. His voice is trembling and he’s holding my legs up while Toni sits beside me.

“How are you feeling?” She asks, concerned.

“Good. I just… couldn’t breathe. I’m okay now. Let me sit.”

She tells Jug to let my legs down and helps me lean against the tree. The basket is still beside me, clothes spilt all over the ground. I reach for them, wanting to put them back in their place but Jughead beats me to it.

“I can put some shirts into a fucking basket!” I snap.

He sighs and sits in front of me. “You fainted-”

“You need to go home and lay down Betty. It was probably nothing but it’s still not normal… Alright?” Toni interjects. “Come on, don’t get stubborn now… You’re pregnant Betts.”

I look down at my bump and sniffle. She’s right. I overreacted. Once again. “I-I’m s-sorry… I don’t know w-what I was thinking…”

Jug wraps me into his arms and buries his face into my neck. “It’s okay. You did nothing wrong.”

“Will the baby be okay?” I ask Toni, wanting to cry all over again.

“We’ll keep you monitored but I believe everything's fine. Let’s get you home now. Jug… help her. I’ll gather the clothes.”

He picks me up directly from the ground and I don’t make a sound of protest because I’m suddenly too exhausted to walk. I just wanna cry and sleep.

“What happened?” Kevin’s voice enters my bubble, white hot rage simmers just under the surface. Jughead stops for a moment, I feel him swallow hard against my forehead.

“When someone tells you to shut your mouth because you know shit, do it. _Shut your damn mouth._ ” Jug’s voice is so cold that it almost makes me shiver.

“Jug…” I whisper. “I wanna go home.”

He resumes his walk without sparing another glance at him. Toni mutters something behind us but I’m not listening anymore.  
He doesn’t stop until we’re inside our cabin. My poor dog barks when we pass in front of him but I’m too agitated right now to lift my head.

Jughead positions me on the couch, takes my shoes off before gathering one of the plaids and throwing it over my body. I smile at him. “Thank you…”

He kisses my forehead and brushes my cheek. “Stay here, I’ll make you some tea. Alright?”

I nod, focusing my attention on Toni. She’s just gotten inside, closed the door and put the basket on the ground. She kneels beside me. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, really- I just… couldn’t breathe. I started crying and I don’t know… I panicked.”

“You need to keep calm Betty. I know that you don’t like people telling you what to do and I know you feel useless but Betty, you’re creating a human life. That’s the only thing that matters right now, okay?”

I blink back the tears and nod, gripping the hem of Jug’s sweatshirt and pushing my hand underneath it, stroking my skin… wishing so bad to be able to feel the baby move.

“Betty, everything’s fine. No one’s judging you. The girls already suspect something, I got to tell you this, but they’re very considerate… The guys are dumb. Kevin will feel bad once he knows.”

“I just wish I could feel the baby move…” I whisper looking down. “I was so stupid… I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”

Jughead puts a small pot by the fire, waiting for the water to boil, and then he kneels beside Toni. “Your hormones are still all over the place. You can’t really control them… We know it, Betts. Please… try to relax?”

I nod and close my eyes. “I want to sleep.”

“Not here, come on… let’s get upstairs. This couch will only make your back hurt more.” He insists.

I grumble, sitting up, and let him guide me to the stairs. I stop shy from it and turn toward Toni. “Thank you, for everything you’re doing.”

“That’s what friends are for…” She winks smiling. “Oh, and doctors! Keep it easy for a couple of days… Okay?”

“I will… bye Toni.” Jug waves at her while I start climbing the stairs. He’s right behind me, as if he could stop me from falling.

“Tomorrow I’m going to ask Sweet Pea to help me bring the bed down. This is becoming ridiculous.” He mutters when I’m seated on the mattress.

“Maybe we should just tell them…” I murmur. “You heard what Toni said, the girls already suspect something… At this point it’s not a week that makes the difference.”

“We’ll talk about it once you’ve slept.” He tells me helping me out of his jacket and getting me under the covers.

“Where will you go?”

“Nowhere. I’ll be right here beside you.” He says wrapping his arms around me. “I won’t leave.”

I bite my lip, unsure to tell him what is going through my mind.

“What is it?” He asks.

“Kevin- he said that you’ve gone soft. I don’t think it’s true. You’ve changed but… I wouldn’t want you changing just because of me. I’m afraid you’re going to resent me one day… that I made you become someone different…”

He grabs my shoulder and turns me on my back so that he’s able to look at my face. “I changed because I wanted to and I’m not ashamed of that. _I’m proud_ of who I’ve become thanks to you! I won’t ever get rid of the dark side inside of me though… When it comes to you, our child or the people I care about, I know that _that_ part of me will instantly take over. I’d do anything to protect you. Okay? I could never resent you for what you helped me become.”

I sniffle, blinking back tears I’m so tired to spill. “Okay. I love you.”

“And I love you. Never doubt that.” His hand goes straight under the layers of shirts and settles over the bump. “I need you to listen to me though, please… _please_ try to remember it’s not just you now. If I tell you not to overdo yourself, try to remind that I’m telling you for your sake and the baby’s. And if the others come up with some snarky comment like Kevin’s… well, screw them all!”

I laugh into his neck. “I’ll tell them so then…”

He brushes his thumb up and down over my bellybutton. “She’s okay… Nothing happened.” He murmurs.

“I know… She?” I ask him smiling.

“I had a dream the other night…” He recounts blushing slightly. “Of this little girl running around, blonde and spunky and beautiful. I just know it… I have this feeling that tells me the baby’s gonna be a girl.”

“We just have to wait and see…” This time the tears do fall and I quickly dry them. “I’ve become a sap.”

“Just a tiny little bit!” He jokes winking at me.

I slap his shoulder. “Rude.”

“Relax now, I’ll be here when you wake.” He kisses my forehead and my eyes close on their own accord.

*** 

I wake some time later with Jughead reading beside me. The sun is still up. My attention goes straight to the book, it’s one of the pregnancy books I’ve taken back from the library.

“What are you reading?” I ask him quietly.

He jumps, holding a hand to his chest. “Shit! Betty!”

I giggle. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you…”

He closes the book and shakes his head. “Just caught me off guard.”

“You can keep reading if you want… I’ll just watch you.”

“No, no… It’s okay. I was finishing anyway.”

I frown at his tone. “What were you reading, Jug?”

“Something about possible causes of miscarriage and what to look for… I was pushing myself in a dark place.”

“Juggie…”

“I know… I just needed to be sure…”

I take his hand, scooting closer to his side and put it on the bump. “We’re okay, Juggie. I feel okay. I promise…”

He nods and leans down to kiss me. “Do you wanna eat something?”

“Uhm… not right now. I was thinking that it’s time to tell the others. I’m tired to appear as someone lazy that doesn’t want to do her part.”

“You don’t have to do this because of what they might be thinking…”

“Juggie… I can’t really hide it anymore.”

He looks at me pensively. “Are you sure?”

“I am. I’m tired of hiding.”

“Okay then… Can I not talk with Kevin?”

I kiss him quickly. “Whatever you want.”

“Alright… Wanna go now?”

“Can you tell them to come here?”

“Of course.” He says standing up, excitement clear in his eyes. “I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll wait for you on the couch. I’m gonna go pee in the meantime.”

*** 

Finding the pad almost completely spotless was a relief. I can’t really live without one now because my body is working on its own to get cleaned from any possible bacterium. It’s kinda nasty but whatever it needs to protect itself and my baby is well accepted.

I’m waiting on the couch, dressed in a simple long-sleeved shirt and leggings and covered by a quilt. I can’t help but get jittery. We’re going to tell them and I’m nervous as fuck.

When the door opens Bob's the first to run inside. He positions with his head on my knees and wiggles his tail. I pat his head gently, tearing up. Jug starts letting everyone inside and I almost change my mind. He sits beside me while Toni takes my other side. Sweet Pea and Fangs sit on the ground with their back toward the fire place while Veronica gets comfortable on her boyfriend’s lap. Cheryl makes us scoot over a little so that she can sit on the armrest and Kevin remains to the side, frowning.

“So! What are we doing here?” Veronica smiles, a strange glint in her eyes. _Yeah, she must suspect right._  
  
“Kevin you can put your ass down.” Jughead snaps.

“I’m okay exactly where I am. Thank you.” He bites back. Who knows what’s going through his head.

I take Jug’s hand in mine and squeeze. “We need to tell you something. All of you. Just… there’s no simple way to go over this so…” I look at Sweet Pea, he blinks surprised. “You can start practicing with your braiding skills whenever you want.”

Jughead chuckles while Toni groans, almost facepalming herself. I watch him while he puts the pieces together, clearly trying to remember something. Then his eyes light up and he jumps on his feet, arms extended over his head, making Veronica fall on the floor. He woops a couple of times before coming right over us and wrapping his arms around our shoulders.

“Really? Really? Really?”

I glance around the room. Everyone except me, Jug and Toni, is frowning. I stand on shaky legs, the quilt still wrapped around my body; I let it fall on the couch and he laughs, hugging me tightly, almost taking my breath away. “I’m gonna be an awesome uncle!”

“Let her breathe.” Jug snorts standing up beside us. Pea claps him on the shoulders.

“This is amazing! Guys!” He turns toward the others. “We’re gonna be uncles and aunties!”

“We knew it!” Cheryl exclaims clapping her hands. “We knew it! Toni wouldn’t tell us a thing, but we knew it! Congratulations guys.”

Veronica is full on crying when she launches herself at me. “You guys… This is so cute! Look at you Betty! You’re so cute!”

I laugh into her wild hair. “Don’t cry please! Or I’m gonna cry too and I can guarantee you I’m not gonna stop.”

“Yeah, she won’t stop.” Jug confirms, earning a slap from me.

Fangs congratulates us too, awkwardly glancing at Kevin before hugging me. “You look good pregnant!”

“I’m barely showing!” I chuckle looking down at my bump.

He flushes, clearly embarrassed. “Yeah. Uhm… Congratulations, really!”

Jughead wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses the side of my head while Kevin approaches us slowly. I feel the tension flowing between him and my husband.

“You’re pregnant…” He mumbles, hands hidden inside his pockets.

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping at him. “Yeah. Kinda obvious isn’t it?”

“Yeah… Listen, I’m sorry if I assumed things earlier today. I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble…”

“ _They’re_ okay.” Jughead mutters. “Now you know why she wasn’t around.”

He scratches his neck and shrugs. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t know…”

“I told you to shut your mouth, but you kept talking.” He snaps. “And she heard everything… How do you expect her to react when she’s already feeling bad because she can’t do what she used to do?”

“Jug… Now he knows. Let’s end this here, please. Everything’s fine…”

He sighs heavily and shrugs, not taking his arm off me. “Alright. Whatever you want…”

Kevin turns around and joins a frowning Fangs by the fireplace.

“So, Toni… will you let me practice now?”

“Oh hell to the no! You have a girlfriend! Practice on her!” She snaps.

“Keep your filthy hands away from _my_ girlfriend!” Cheryl tells him through a very creepy smile. I’m sure she could snap his fingers off in one single bite and by the expression on his face I think he knows it too.

“You two are mean.” He grumbles going back to Veronica.

She raises an eyebrow at him, arms crossed. “What do you think you’re doing mister?”

“Uhm… Could you teach me how to make a braid? Please?”

“That’s better. We’ll see. You have time to learn. Right guys? How far along are you?”

“Almost out of the first trimester.” I tell her. “I’m still trying to get used to this…”

“You’re gonna have a baby right for Christmas time!” She exclaims.

“Maybe, we’ll see.”

“And you, Jug? How are you?”

“How am I? She’s the one going trough all the changes… I’m just trying to help her as much as I can.”

“And that’s the least you can do!” Cheryl nods approvingly.

“Hey, I know what I have to do! Thank you very much!”

They all laugh and I yawn, suddenly too overwhelmed by all this attention.

“We’re gonna go now… You seem pretty tired.” Toni interjects. “Come on guys. She needs her sleep.”

“One more thing.” Jug stop them from getting out. “We need to bring the bed down and change a couple of things around here. Could you help me tomorrow? She won’t be able to climb those stairs for much longer _and_ it’s not safe…”

“Whatever you need, boss.” Fangs nods followed right behind by Sweet Pea. “First thing in the morning we’ll be here!”

“Maybe not that early?” I plead flushing right away because of the attention I’ve drawn back on me. “I tend to sleep in…”

“Do not worry mama!” Pea exclaims. “Call us when you’re ready!”

“Thank you.” Jug and I say in unison.

They all congratulate one more time and leave the house. Bob remains sleeping beside the fire. The sudden quietness makes my ears ring. I turn toward him and sigh.

“That went well…” I murmur.

“I wanted to punch Kevin in the face.” He growls sitting on the couch, taking me with him.

“He apologized…”

“Yeah but that doesn’t excuse his behavior.”

“Jug, please… It’s okay! We’re okay!”

He brushes the bump through the shirt and hugs me. “That’s all that matters to me.”


	39. Tickles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Week sixteen, the baby is the size of an avocado…” I read through the pages. “I’m getting scared. How is this baby going to come out of me? I can’t even imagine how an avocado could possibly come out of my vagina!”  
> Cheryl laughs and I glare at her. She coughs. “Yeah… I understand what you mean.”  
> "I don't think you do!" Toni snorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT.

When I finally enter my thirteenth week, I take a deep breath. Not that I was really worried… everything seems to be going okay and I want to be as positive as I can.

My baby is as big as a lemon, has now vocal cords, teeth and even fingerprints! That’s awesome to think about… this pretty little thing inside of me is becoming a person that I will have to care for. It’s scary. Sometimes my mother’s voice tries to come back, saying I’m not capable enough to care for another human being. That I’m crazy to think I’ll be able to. But then I look at Jug, at what we’ve accomplished, at the way my hands are finally completely healed over… and I push that voice away. I’ve done so much. I survived two years alone on the street. I can do anything I want to.

Three months. The bed is now downstairs, we have potatoes and eggplants. I’ve been eating fries almost every day now and we’re trying to study a way to make cheese from our goat milk.

I finally can get through the day without feeling sick to the stomach and I don’t risk to fall asleep at any moment of the day. Toni has also encouraged me to walk and exercise as much as I can. At turn the girls have started to join me in a morning walk up to the stream, do some yoga and pelvic exercises I’ve found on my pregnancy books and then go back home.  
One thing has for sure benefitted Jughead after the weeks of abstinence. I want him all the time. I literally can’t keep my hands to myself.

I look up at him gnawing on my bottom lip; considering the late hour I should be asleep but I’m a mess and I can’t help it. I lean over him and place small kisses over his chest. He grumbles in his sleep but doesn’t wake up.  
I sigh frustrated and fall back on my back. I’m so hot I don’t know what to do with myself… Actually…  
I look back up at him and bite my lip. I feel bad already for having woken him once… I could always take care of myself…

I close my eyes, moving my hand over my body like he does to me, pinching my nipples with just the right amount of strength not to hurt. I leave a hand over one of my breasts while the other goes down my body. In my head there are images of my husband going down on me when my fingers touch my clit. I’m already so turned on that I don’t think it’ll take much for me to come.

I push two fingers inside, thinking about Jug’s tongue, and start moving them a bit quicker.

 _“Jug…”_ The moan escapes my mouth before I can bite my lips shut. I hold my breath. I want to come so badly but I just can’t reach that point he usually tortures so good.  
I sigh in frustration.

“Can I help you with something?” His voice is so smug I almost want to hurt him.

“I hate you.”

“No? Alright I’ll go back to sleep then…”

I feel like crying. “No, please! I- Please?”

He chuckles and pushes his body above mine, trying not to put too much weight over my belly. “Please what?”

“Help me?” I plead squirming underneath him. “I don’t know what to do… It’s just too _overwhelming!_ I need you-”

He kisses my mouth shut and I moan into his.. His hands take my wrists, pushing my arms up over my head and holding them there. I’ve been craving this… this dominant side of my husband.

“I want to play…” I tell him, my breath heavy.

He looks down at me, frowning. “Play?”

“Yes. _Play._ It’s been so long and I just… want it.”

“Do you think it’s safe?”

“Yes. Just… don’t get too rough?”

He stares at me for an eternity while I keep squirming underneath his weight. “Okay. If you feel discomfort… any kind of discomfort-”  
  
“I’ll tell you immediately.”

“Okay.” He smiles before breathing through his nose. “Undress.”

I shuffle around, taking my shirt off, followed right after by my panties and then I wait for his next order. He’s standing at the foot of the bed, almost completely naked, staring at me. His eyes are soft as he looks down at my body. It’s still a surprise… waking up to something new. Every day I get a little bit bigger and he gets much more excited. It’s very funny to see.

“So?”

“Sorry… You’re just too beautiful. I got distracted.”

“Please… Juggie!” I whimper.

He kneels between my legs right away. “On your hands and knees, now.”

I scramble to do as he says. He gently pushes my shoulders down so that I’m completely exposed to him. My chest pressed against the mattress, arms crossed under my cheek.

“You want to come, Betty?” He murmurs into the skin of my lower back.

“Badly…” I moan.

His hand comes down on my left buttocks and I bite my lip. “You’re going to come… As many times as I see fit. Is that okay for you?”

“Y-yes.” A part of my mind reminds me that I’ve always been too sensitive to keep going after an orgasm but at the same time I remember what Cheryl and Toni told me that time… _It gets even better._  
  
He spanks me again. “Yes what?”

“Yes sir.” I bite back a moan.

“Good girl.” He kisses my lower back before pushing two fingers inside of me. He doesn’t start slowly, he just flutters them against that spot I can’t quite reach and a minute later I’m flying over the edge; teeth sinking into the skin of my hand.

His thumb pushes against the hood of my clit, fingers still inside, and the contact makes me squirm. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do as he said. Is it even possible for me to come more than two times in a row? I whimper when he massages my clit directly, slowly, almost torturing me. His other hand comes down on the sensitive skin of my thighs and I whimper once again.

“Come when I tell you to come. Can you do that for me?” He spanks me again and quickens the pace of his fingers.

I’m biting my lip raw. I open my mouth to answer but he intensifies the pressure of his thumb against my clitoris and all breath leaves my lungs. Yeah, I’m sensitive but it’s starting to feel so good…

He spanks me once again. “I didn’t hear you.”

“Y-yes. Sir.”

“Good.” He crooks his fingers and shifts the hood of my clitoris so that his thumb touches it directly. He moves his hand so quickly that any kind of discomfort flows right out of the window. The orgasm builds so fast that I’m almost afraid to go insane.

I squirm under his hands and he spanks me again, not letting up one bit. “Come.” He orders.

I go blind when I do finally come. I can’t keep still then, my body trembling so much I could probably fall from the bed if Jughead wasn’t holding onto me. He removes his fingers way too early for my own god but then he pushes himself inside and I moan. He turns us both on our sides and throws my top leg back over his. I’m as exposed as I can be. His mouth finds my neck while his fingers rub circles over my clit.

“T-too sensitive…” I stutter.

“Sssh… You can endure it. I know you can.” He starts moving slowly and deeply and my head falls back against his arm.

I let him play with my body. It feels so good and I’m so satisfied that I’m sure I’m going to sleep for twenty-four hours straight after this.  
He hastens his pace at some point, his point finger playing with my clit while his member continuously pushes against that spot, making my eyes roll back.  
When I hear his breath grow thicker, I know he’s going to come soon. I push back against him, moaning at one particular good stroke.

“Come one last time. One last time, Betty.” He growls into my hear. The pressure is building so fast in the pit of my stomach that I’m sure I won’t disappoint him. When his teeth sink into the skin of my shoulder it gets so intense that I’m almost afraid too pee myself… I’m afraid to let go.

“J-Jug… I-I’ve never… felt this good-” I moan aloud.

“Let go.” He growls. “I feel you holding back.”

“I’m a-afraid I’m g-going to pee myself!” I whimper.

He smirks against my neck. “You won’t. Believe me.”

When he spanks me two times in quick succession, I feel the dam break. He holds still inside my body while I convulse around him. His arms tightly wrapped around my shivering body. I realize I’m crying maybe three minutes later, when I’ve got part of my bearings back and he’s thrusting one last time inside of me before coming with a groan that makes my inner muscles clench.

I’m almost sobbing when he leaves my body. He turns me on my back, hand instantly going over the bump.

“Is there something wrong?” He frowns, clearly worried.

I shake my head. “N-no. J-just… It felt so g-good.”

He brushes my tears away before kissing my lips. “Don’t move a muscle. I’m going to take care of you.”

He leaves me there, still breathing heavily and trembling. He comes back a moment later with a basin full of warm water and a sponge, one of the few we were able to find at the store. He helps me get cleaned from head to toe while I sit there on the bed, unmoving and dozing off.  
I giggle when I feel a flutter in my side. That’s a first, for sure.

“Ticklish?” He asks smiling.

I put my hand against the spot and shake my head. “No. I think… I think I felt the baby.”

His eyes widen almost comically. “Really?!”

“Yeah… that wasn’t gas. It was this funny feeling inside of me…” I giggle once again when it comes back. “What is he doing?”

“Maybe we have woken him… or her!” He puts one hand right where mine is and waits.

“I don’t think you’ll be able to feel… it’s just a fluttering.” I look down at the bump, secretly glad to be able to experience this with our child, just me and the baby.

“It’s her way, or his, to say… _Hey, I’m here! No funny business under my watch!_ ” He says in a small voice that makes me laugh.

“Probably.” I yawn. “It’s so late… I think I need to sleep now…”

He stretches out right behind me, hand positioned over my bellybutton. “Sleep, mommy.”

I smile into the pillow and hold his hand. “You too, dad.”

*** 

“ _Week sixteen, the baby is the size of an avocado…_ ” I read through the pages. “I’m getting scared. How is this baby going to come out of me? I can’t even imagine how an avocado could possibly come out of my vagina!”

Cheryl laughs and I glare at her. She coughs. “Yeah… I understand what you mean.”

"I don't think you do!" Toni snorts.

“ _Your baby can finally hear your voice thanks to tiny bones forming in his or hers ears._ ” I keep reading. The girls are washing some of the shirts while I do absolutely nothing. I should feel bad, but my back is killing me, and the book says it’s only the beginning. “ _The baby is growing hair, lashes and eyebrows and his or hers taste buds are forming…_ ”  
  
“I’m sure we’ll have a mini Jughead running around, all dark, broody and hungry but with your cleverness!” Veronica interrupts me. “Have you talked about it?”

“About what?”

“Do you want a boy or a girl?”

I shrug. “We’ve talked about it but we just want it to be healthy. I mean I’d be more at ease with a girl for obvious reasons but it’ll be what it’ll be.”

“Laaame.” Cheryl huffs. “I want a girl. Absolutely a girl!”

I chuckle. “Well, if it makes you feel better Jughead is convinced it’s a girl… who knows. Maybe he’s right.”

“I hope so!” She exclaims. “Can you imagine? How cute she’s going to be with both of your genes?”

I blush. “The baby has to come out of me first. Let me think about one thing at a time!”

“Well…” Toni smiles wringing out her last pair of trousers. “If you get excited about seeing your baby maybe the fear of giving birth will diminish a little.”

“I doubt that!” I snort. “I can assure you I tried every single thing but the thought of pushing a baby the size of a pumpkin out of my body is scary.”

“It really gets that big?” Veronica asks surprised.

“ _At least_ and if I’m lucky to arrive at full terms and not beyond.”

“Beyond?” Her eyes almost bulge out of their sockets.

“Yeah… it happens.” Toni tells her standing up. “Let’s go back… I’m famished.”

Getting up from the ground on my own has become a feat. “A little help?”

“Right, sorry.” Toni says smiling. “How’s the baby? Felt any movement beside the small little flutters?”

“Nope… still waiting. Jug is super jealous!” I smile, my heart beating faster just to think about him.

“I get it… I have to admit I am curious to feel it move too.” She nudges my shoulder with hers and winks. “What about the sexual cravings? Still out of control?”

“Toni!” I scold her flushing.

“Come on! I read the books and mine are even more detailed than yours!”

“Well… I’ve been perfectly capable of controlling myself!” _Such a liar!_

“Good for you!”

Jughead is coming out of the barn with two pots full of milk when we get back to our main area.

“Hey!” He exclaims when he sees us. “We’ve got fresh milk! Want some?”

“Maybe later!” I tell him. “Can we go home? I’m so hungry.”

“Yep… Toni do you mind taking one of this? The milk needs to be boiled. We’ll do the same with this one and portion it into different jars.”

“No problem. Cher? Can you take it for me?” She asks her girlfriend. She still has the basket of cleaned clothes in hand after all.

“Of course. See you guys later!”

We pass Kevin and Fangs by their house; they started living together a couple of weeks ago. Things are still strained between Jughead and Kevin… I’m not sure what Kev's problem his. Maybe I should ask him at some point.

“How are you feeling?” Jug asks me as soon as we get inside. He puts the milk by the fire and starts reviving it.

“My back hurts…” I whine sitting on the bed. “Can you give me a massage? Please?”

“Of course, baby. Let me finish here then I’ll be right there. Get comfortable!”

I watch as he works the fire and puts the milk over it. Finding a comfortable position is almost impossible though. How will I be able to sleep when I’m eight months pregnant? I’m just over three months and I already find it difficult.

“Here I am… where does it hurts?” He sits on the bed beside me, squeezing my thigh.

“Lower back. I’ll just sit since I can’t really lay down on my stomach.” I grumble.

“Alright, shirt off milady.” He helps me with the task and puts it aside, then he starts massaging where it hurts the most.

“Is this okay?” He asks after a while.

“Yeah, perfect. Thank you Juggie.”

“No need to thank me… Relax. You need this.”

*** 

When I go to bed that night I’m beat. That afternoon I went back into the forest with Veronica and Sweet Pea to look for more of my prenatal herbs while she gathered the contraceptive ones.  
Sweet Pea kept us company. Jughead is becoming every day a bit more protective… he doesn’t let me go anywhere on my own and as much as this fact annoys me, I understand his need to keep me safe.

“Did you find everything you need today?” Jug asks when he joins me.

I turn on my side, facing him. “Yep. I put everything away already. How was your day?”  
  
“Long and tiring but we caught a couple of boars. We have already skinned and cleaned the meat. It’s hanging in the drying chamber.”

“What about the pigs?”

He yawns and hugs me to his chest, my belly trapped between us. “Fangs is sure the female is pregnant. I hope so! We can start thinking about having pork for dinner sometime in the future.”

I giggle. “Is he a vet?”

“I don’t want to know how he knows.”

“I was thinking that we should build a swing." I tell him changing the subject. "I’ve always loved them when I was little… My father used to bring me to the park before he left. Sometimes I wonder where he is… If he’s still alive…”

“How was he? You've never really talked about him…” He asks caressing the side of my belly.

I sigh, cuddling into him some more. “He was nice to me. He tried to distract me from my mother continuous bugging. He sneaked me chocolate bars when she wasn’t around and he tried to act as a buffer between the two of us…”

“He was nice…”

“Yeah… But he left me there anyway.”

“Do you have any idea where he could have gone?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know… I tried to find him for a while but to no avail.”

He hugs me tighter. “I’m here now. I won’t ever leave you…”

I smile into his chest and close my eyes. I’m almost asleep when I hear him chuckle.

“What is it?” I mumble.

“You tickled me.”

“I didn’t! I was practically asleep…”

He laughs quietly and looks down at me. “You did it again just now!”

“What are you talking about?” I frown before realizing what is actually happening. “I’m not the one tickling you.”  
  
His mouth hangs open for a moment then he’s out of my sight. His hands instantly go over my stomach. “It was the baby!”

“Yeah.. I’m so used to the little movements that I didn’t think you could feel them too.”

He stares bewildered at my belly for a long time, trying to catch every single kick or nudge. It’s quiet and perfect and I can’t help but get emotional.

“You can talk to her now… Or him… They can hear you.” I mumble.

“What do I say?”

I smile. “I don’t know… Whatever you want.”

He puts his mouth over my bellybutton. “Hey baby. I was finally able to feel you! And I know you can hear me now… So, here I am. I’m your daddy. You have to know that your mom is a super woman… I love her very much for everything that she’s done for me and she’s still doing. And I love you too.”

I’m bawling my eyes out by the time he’s done. “That was sweet…”

He wraps me tightly into his arms and kisses my cheek, drying my tears. “Thank you, Betty. For everything that you’re giving me.”

"You're the one who gave me back my life." I murmur. "We just saved each other, probably…"


	40. Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fuck yeah I’d be more comfortable! You’re not going to talk to him alone!”  
> I scowl at him. “First of all, I can talk to whoever I want without your permission. I still get to decide things for myself. Second of all, I know it’ll drive you crazy but I need to do this.”

I wake up after my afternoon nap with Jughead whispering to my belly. I smile, knowing that he's not aware I’m awake but at the same time not wanting to intrude. I have so many moments alone with our child that I love when he does that.

I’ve reached week twenty-two, by the end of it I’ll officially enter my fifth month. It’s been difficult to do everything... I fainted a couple of times and since then Toni has banned me from doing anything at all. She says nothing’s wrong, it’s normal for me to find it hard to catch my breath since the baby is growing so fast now. But still, beside some light exercise and walking around she thinks it’s better if I take it easy. As if I wasn’t feeling useless enough already.

I tried to talk with Kevin a couple of days ago, I really wanted to understand what his problem is, but he shrugged and said that nothing was wrong. Still… every time I pass beside him, he struggles to even say _hey_.  
I know he thinks I’m not doing enough for the group but it’s not like I can risk the life of my baby. I will do my part as soon as I’m back on my feet. After all we told everyone about our desire to have a child beforehand. He knew it and said nothing. I really don’t understand.  
Cheryl tried to talk to him too but he told her the exact same thing; _Nothing’s wrong._  
I’ve got better things to think about right now. If he has a problem with us he’ll tell us.

I look back down at Jughead when I feel him kiss the bump and I smile. I’ve started to use animal fat to moisturize the skin of my belly because I’m afraid it’s going to get stretch marks from how quickly it’s growing. The books say it’s normal but if I can avoid them… I’d be happier. Another new thing is my bellybutton. It has come out and now it’s very visible through every single shirt.

Jug sighs and leans his cheek against the bump, closing his eyes.

“Good talk?” I murmur scratching his head.

He smiles and nods. “I did. I told her many stories. You slept a lot… I had the time.”

“For how long was I asleep?”

“At least three hours. Seems like you needed the rest… How’s your back?”

“Hurts like usual…” I sigh. “But I’m used to it…”

“I wish I could help you somehow…”

“You’re doing enough…”

He shrugs and squeezes me a little bit tighter. “You know… I was thinking about our mark, do you think the baby will have one too?”

I frown. “I don’t know… I mean, probably not. It’s a soulmate mark…”  
  
“Yeah… You’re right.” He crawls over me until his face is right above mine. “Do you wanna go take a walk?”

“Yes… I can’t veg out on the bed all day. I feel useless!” I whine awkwardly sitting up.

“Stop it Betty. Toni told you to keep it easy for a reason… And I already told you many times. If this fact annoys someone, well… what is it that I said last time?”

“Screw them all?” I giggle standing up and stretching my back.

“Exactly!” He smiles. “I’ll help you get your shoes on.”

*** 

The sun warms my face when we reach the stream. I’m a little out of breath but nothing too bad.

“I wish we could swim…” I sigh sitting down with Jug’s help.

“It’s still cold… and I don’t think it’s safe to swim in here.”

“I know but maybe the cold water could help with my backaches.”

“Tomorrow I’m going on another hunting trip with the guys… I could scout around and see if there’s a pool or something.”

“If you have time… I don’t want to piss Kevin off even more.”

“Kevin is starting to become a pain in the ass.” He grumbles. “Do you want to put your feet in the water? I know they’re getting swollen…”

“Can I? Do we have time?”

“Of course, we have!” He sits behind me. “Get comfortable, lean back against me and relax. No one’s after us, baby.”

We've been here for maybe an hour before we hear someone coming. Jug turns slightly toward the noise.

“Hey Fangs, Kev…” He welcomes. I stiffen right away.

Fangs sits beside us and smiles. “Is everything okay?”

“There’s not a part of my body that doesn’t hurt right now but… you know…” I smile. “It’s okay.”

Jug shifts behind me. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yeah, for now. Are you?”

“For now.” He snorts. “When my wrists start to go numb I’ll tell you!”

“You know…” Fangs tells us. “I’ve never had a pregnant friend… I mean, I saw pregnant women before but… It’s so fascinating to assist! You change every day!”

“Crazy uh?” I answer him quietly. “Sometimes I can’t really wrap my mind around it.”

“In no time there’s going to be a small child running around.” He smiles.

The baby kicks and I wince. Sometimes he or she gets a little too rough with me. “Do you wanna feel something cool?”

He stares at me and looks back at a mute and jittery Kevin. “Yeah!”

I ignore his impossible boyfriend and take his hand, putting it against the side of my belly where the baby is kicking non-stop. He gasps, his eyes bulge out and he laughs.

“It’s awesome huh?” Jug asks him with a soft voice.

“It’s so cool! Kev! Come here, feel this!”

“I’m okay… Thank you.” He mutters.

Jug tenses behind me before patting my shoulders as a signal to sit up. He gets on his feet right after. “Listen, Keller, this is getting _ridiculous!_ What the fuck is your problem?”

Fangs looks back up at his boyfriend, scowling. “You’re acting like a stubborn child.”

He huffs. “I don’t want to say things that could make her feel bad.”

“You’re already making me feel bad.” I sigh. “Kevin, say what you need to say and let’s go on with our lives.”

He stares at me before moving his eyes on Jug and Fangs. “I think you could have waited before deciding it was okay to bring another human being to the group. I have nothing against babies in general, but you don’t exist anymore Jughead, and you still claim to be our boss! What do you think will happen when the baby comes? It’s going to get worse and you’ll put your guard down and then what?”

My heart breaks. What does my baby have anything to do with this?

“When did I claim to be your boss? When? Don’t you see Kevin? We’re living a normal life in the middle of the forest! My child is not keeping me from going out and hunt or do what I have to do to keep ourselves alive! What do you want me to do? Leave my pregnant wife at home by herself when she clearly needs my help? Have you lost your mind?”

“Well… Sorry Betty but what does she needs you for? Going to the bathroom?”

“Kevin!” Fangs snaps at the exact same moment that Jughead punches him in the face.

“You always open your mouth without thinking that maybe, _maybe_ there’s a reason behind someone’s behavior. I gave you time to wrap your head around the news. _We_ gave you months to get used to this and all I’m hearing is that you think a baby will complicate our lives because we won’t participate anymore for the group's benefit. If you really think this is what is gonna happen, then you’re out of track. Do you wanna see what happens when _I_ don’t care about anyone other than myself and my family? Act as if I don’t exist from now on. I’m going to cultivate my own garden, find my own goat and pigs, take the chickens since I’ve found them and hunt my own meat. For me and my wife only. Is this okay for you?”

He stands there, mouth agape. “Jughead… No, of course not…”

“You said I’m only thinking about my pregnant wife.”

“She’s not even your real wife for fucks sake!” He snaps.

Fangs helps me put my shoes back on and stands me up. “This is something I would have never expected from you.” He seethes taking my arm and gently guiding me back toward my house.

“I’m sure you didn’t mean it…” I hear Jug mutter. “I wish I could help you with whatever is fucking with your head but for now… stay out of mine and Betty’s way.”

I’m crying. I’m literally crying. What did I do to him? He was so nice in the beginning. Why is he so hateful toward a small creature that isn’t even born yet?

“Don’t cry, please…” Fangs pleads me. “I don’t know what has gotten into him but I’m going to make him see reason.”

“It’s just a child…” I murmur. “I don’t understand…”

He guides me inside the house and helps me onto the bed, taking my shoes off. “I think he’s afraid of the responsibilities… He’s afraid of getting attached and then lose everything he has.”

“He’s already losing what he could have.” Jug’s voice comes from the doorway. “Keep him away for a while. Don’t expect to see us around anytime soon. If the others want to see us they are welcome to come by.”

Fangs nods and stands up, ready to leave. “I’m sorry… I will try to ask him what happened to him.”

Jug sits beside me, taking my hand. “Thank you Fangs.”

He nods and leaves our cabin, closing the door behind him.

Jughead brushes my tears away and smiles. “Don’t believe anything he spewed, okay? I wanted this.”

“I know…” I murmur. “I know… My heart is just broken. What did I do to him? Why does he hate our child so much?”

“I don’t know… And we won’t have to worry about him for a long while. So, don’t think about it please?”

I nod and pat his side of the bed. “Can you hug me?”

“You don’t have to ask twice.” He chucks his shoes away and climbs onto the bed, wrapping his arms around me so tightly that I almost lose my breath.

*** 

Try as I might, sleep doesn’t take me. I’m dead tired but I really can’t shake what happened with Kevin off.  
Jughead’s sleeping soundly beside me; it took him awhile to fall asleep too. He was nervous and angry at his friend for what he said.

The baby kicks and I smile. “You awake too?” I whisper patting my belly. “It’s been a long, tiring and confusing day, I know. And I need too pee.”

I stand as quietly as I can, trying not to wake my sleeping husband and go to the bathroom. The light of the lamp is feeble but there’s not much else I can do. I sit on the toilet, do the business and check the pad. Seeing the spotting shouldn’t worry me but after the stress I had today I guess it’s okay for my heart to beat faster. I bite my lip, trying to regulate my breathing and change the pad. I dump water into the toilet and wash my hands before turning the lamp off and going outside.

I walk all over the room, trying to convince myself that everything’s okay. The baby kicking helps me a lot but then she stops or he stops and I panic. _It’s just some stupid spotting._ I tell myself.

“Betty, what are you doing up?” Jughead murmurs, sleepily.

“I needed to pee…”

“Come to bed.”  
  
“I-I’m anxious… Uhm, there was some spotting and… It should be normal but… What if it’s not?”

He stands up right away and gently guides me toward the bed. “Is it? Normal I mean?”

I shrug. “I-I don’t know… I don’t remember. The baby’s kicking though so… everything has to be okay right?”

He frowns. “I’m going to get Toni. Don’t move a finger. Okay?”

“But it’s the middle of the night. She’s sleeping… I don’t want to disturb her.”

“Betty. I’m going. Don’t move.”

I nod and lay back down. I just need to relax and keep calm. That’s it.

“What am I going to do with you?” I murmur aloud in the empty room. “You get me worried, baby.”

A swift kick in the ribs makes me wince and I laugh. “Alright, alright… got it. You’re okay.”

The door opens and Toni comes in followed right behind by my very much frowning husband.

“Hey T.” I welcome her. “Sorry for the late hour-”

“Hush. Stop it. What happened?”

“I couldn’t sleep… Something happened with Kevin yesterday and I couldn’t turn my mind off. Maybe I got stressed out a bit and… I went to pee and there was some light spotting on my pad…”

“Define the spotting please? Color? Quantity?”

“I’d say pink and not much…”

“Okay. Any pain in your lower back or abdomen?”

“N-no… why?” My heart races so fast I’m almost hyperventilating. Jug sits beside me and takes my hand.

“I have to exclude any possibility. Placenta abruption is one of them but if there is no pain, I’d say everything’s fine. It’s normal spotting… Could be a light infection or a _subchorionic bleed._ Blood accumulates within the folds of the chorion -as in the outer fetal membrane, next to the placenta- or between the uterus and the placenta itself, causing light to heavy spotting. In most cases, it resolves on its own and does not become a problem for the pregnancy. So… we just have to wait and see. Just, take it easy… How are you feeling beside the stress? Which, I suggest you try to keep down because it could create other complications. We don’t want high blood pressure.”  
  
“No, we don’t.” Jug mutters.

“I’m okay…” I smile touching my belly. “She’s finally kicking… Even now.”

“Really?” Her eyes sparkle in the night. “Can I?”

“Of course!” I take her had and put it on the side of my bump.

“Oh my god this is crazy!” She laughs. “Does the baby do that a lot at night?”

I nod. “Unfortunately. Sleeping during the day and partying when I’d like to sleep.”

“Sorry to hear that!” She snorts. “Must have taken from her daddy. He used to be a night owl when he was younger.”

“Are we all implying it’s a girl then?” Jug asks. “And I was not.”

“You so were! Don’t deny it!”

“Alright. Alright… maybe I was.” He smirks looking at me. “Now I sleep though. She can attest.”

“Better than me for sure.” I grumble yawning. “And yeah Jug… seems like that’s what we’re implying. If it’s a boy he’s gonna come out with some existential crisis.”

Toni laughs and stands up. “I’m going back home. If you need me, at any time… come and get me. We could start using the radios too. We took them but they’re still in the boxes.”

“True… Do you want me to walk you home?”

“Nah I’m a big girl, thanks though. Goodnight. Sleep.” She closes the door quietly behind her back.

“Are you feeling better now?” Jug asks brushing some hair away from my forehead.

“A little.” I smile. “She’s still kicking. Maybe she’ll be into football.”

“Or maybe she’ll like to dance…” He puts his hand over mine and sighs. “I was scared.”

“Me too… I tried to stay calm but I couldn’t help but think about the worst case scenario.”

“Well, nothing happened. From now on you relax and take it easy. Okay? Please?”

“I will. I don’t want to risk this life…” I agree with him. “I… I just need to talk to Kevin. I need to know why he hates this baby so much.”

“Betty, you can’t get stressed. You heard what Toni said… could complicate things.”

“I know. I just wish to have some peace of mind and not knowing is driving me insane.”

He frowns, staring intently at the subtle movements visible through my belly. “We’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

I shake my head. “No Jug… I need to do this by myself. He gets defensive every time he sees you. Fangs could be there with us if you feel more comfortable.”

“Fuck yeah I’d be more comfortable! You’re not going to talk to him alone!”

I scowl at him. “First of all, I can talk to whoever I want without your permission. I still get to decide things for myself. Second of all, I know it’ll drive you crazy but I need to do this.”

He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and stares at me. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I know you don’t need my permission, I just get protective and that asshole hasn’t really done anything good lately when it comes to you.”

“I know Jug but there must be a reason behind his behavior. It’s not normal.”

“Yeah… I realize that.”

“You can inform Fangs beforehand if you want…”

He gets under the covers and hugs me from behind. “I will. First thing in the morning.”

“As soon as we wake up.” I agree.

*** 

Fangs is sitting beside me while Kevin is standing by the fire. He’s nervous.

“I don’t want to complicate things even more…” I murmur looking down at my hands. “But this is driving me crazy. What happened Kevin? Why do you hate my child so much?”

He snorts and sits on a tree stump he must have taken from somewhere outside. “I don’t hate your child.”

“Do you really think things are going to get worse? Jughead has done everything in his power to keep everyone safe… He goes out at every hunting trip and scouts the place, he puts traps and tends to the animals-”

“The problem is that this world isn’t safe for a fucking baby!” He snaps. “Has it occurred to you that maybe you have doomed another human life to a low chance of survival?”

He might have just punched me in the face, it would have hurt less. “This isn’t fair.”

“What do you expect from us? From all of us?”

“Kevin.” Fangs growls. “Enough!”

“No! We’re talking about a child! What if he gets hurt when he’s not under his parents watch? What if I am the one babysitting? Or you are, Fangs? And he falls and dies? What happens then? Anything could happen in this fucking world and then what?”

“Don’t you think we’ve evaluated every possible case scenario before deciding to do this? _We wanted to live!_ What we were doing until a couple of months ago wasn’t living Kevin! We were just surviving! I don’t want to just survive anymore. My whole life I just had to survive or get punished. I know it’s dangerous. I know we’re not living in a civilized world anymore but if we get stopped by this, if everyone gets stopped by this, there won’t be a human being left in the planet. There won’t be a future. Are you really willing to be that selfish? Because wanting a better life for me and my husband isn’t selfish… Deciding to keep living and keep moving despite the circumstances is pretty fucking brave from my point of view.”

Kevin blinks a couple of times before heaving a sigh a shaking his head. “I just… I… I’m sorry. You’re right.”

“Kevin, what happened?” Fangs sighs scratching his neck.

“I had a little brother. _Half-brother_ , actually. He was the love child of my father and a woman I’ve never known. One morning I woke up early to go on one of my runs and the baby was on the steps of our house, in a box. A letter was the only thing the woman left as an explanation. I got on the road soon after. I couldn’t accept the fact that my father cheated on my mother while she was away risking her life for our country. When you told me you wanted to try for a child I really didn’t expect for it to happen this soon… And I don’t know… I keep thinking about that baby abandoned on the steps of my house and… I’m sure he hasn’t survived.”

I stand and go to him, eyes glistening from unshed tears. “Kevin, you can’t feel guilty for something you had zero control over. Life isn’t fair but we can’t be scared to live. You know… I was afraid at first, when Jughead started to talk about wanting a baby. I was so terrified that I almost destroyed us. I felt inadequate, still torn into a million pieces… How can I care for something so small and completely dependent on me when I’m not even sure I can take care of myself? But I did take care of myself. For two years I was on my own and even before that… everything I did was to stay alive in a house where no one loved me.  
I chose love and family over fear and despair. This baby is making me sweat a lot already, I can’t do what I’d like to do, but it’s a new start. For me, for Jughead and for all of us. _It’s a baby, Kev!_. We’re all going to die of heart attack at some point for something he or she might do but… I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

He sniffles and nods. “I know. I just don’t want to feel the pain of losing something so delicate and selfless… I never knew my brother and I feel so bad.

“You can start anew.” Fangs tells him. “You can’t change what happened, but you can do better now… I did horrible things in my life. If I had to live based on them… well… maybe I wouldn’t be alive at all.”

“You’re right…” He sighs before looking up at me. His gaze lingers on my belly and smiles. “I was excited… deep down. I just couldn’t find the balls to show it. I’m happy for you and Jughead. He has nothing to do with my behavior… I know he’s still doing his part and I don’t care if he wants to be with you. We can do what you both can’t right now… I was just trying to find excuses. I’m so sorry…”

“All it’s good. I just needed to understand. You were so selfless the first time we met… You took me with you even though I was a surly bitch. You saved my life. I couldn’t connect the you of almost a year ago to the you of now…”

“I know… I’m sorry.”

“I’ll talk to Jughead. Okay? He’s going to understand.”

He nods and stands up. “Can I hug you?”

I smile, wrapping my arms around him. The bump squished between us. “It’s okay Kev.”

“Thank you, Betty. For not giving up on me.”

“Group hug?” Fangs engulfs us both into his big arms and we laugh.

“Okay, okay… I think it’s time for me to go to Jug. I’m sure he’s going out of his mind and I shouldn’t really be on my feet too much. Doctor orders!”

“I’ll walk you home.” Fangs grumbles. “Jug’s orders.”

I snort and shake my head. “Yeah. Figures. Bye Kevin.”


	41. Insecurities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jug, I can’t sleep.” I huff lightly kicking his leg.  
> “What is it?” He mumbles into the pillow.  
> I shuffle around, trying to find a comfortable position. “I don’t know! No position is pleasant enough for me to sleep! My back hurts, the baby has taken my bladder as a punching bag and you’re ignoring me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT.
> 
> Quick chapter to get you ready for the next one! I might be needing a bit more time to finish that one because I have the ideas but I'm not as satisfied as I wish with the final result! 🤔

It’s late but I really can’t sleep. The last few weeks have been… long and new and full of changes. At twenty-seven weeks pregnant I have every single symptom described in the book. Braxton Hicks contractions scared the shit out of me. Firstly, because I believed there was something wrong with the baby and secondly because now, I have a small idea of what to expect when the time comes. I want to be brave and I want to stay as relaxed as I can because my blood pressure tends to rise lately, but at the same time I’m so scared.

“Jug, I can’t sleep.” I huff lightly kicking his leg.

“What is it?” He mumbles into the pillow.

I shuffle around, trying to find a comfortable position. “I don’t know! No position is pleasant enough for me to sleep! My back hurts, the baby has taken my bladder as a punching bag and you’re ignoring me!”

He sits on the bed immediately. “Baby, no… I’m not ignoring you. I’m here. What can I do?”

I sniffle, crossing my arms over my belly. “I want you to read to me.”

“Okay. Let me turn the lamp on and grab the book… What do you want me to read?”

“The pregnancy book. I want to know more about this month. I wasn’t in the mood to read.”

“Alright… Get comfortable, love.”

“Easy for you to say!” I snap, immediately regretting it. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Can I hug you?”

He smiles and opens his arms. “Come here. And stop apologizing…”

“Thank you.” I tell him with little voice. “My hormones are so all over the place and sleeping seems almost impossible.”

“Let’s see what the book says, alright?”

I nod into his chest and wrap an arm around his waist.

“ _At twenty-seven weeks you can finally say goodbye to your second trimester. You are five months and four weeks pregnant and your baby is as big as a lettuce._ ” He reads. “How strange is it that this book keeps comparing our child to food?”

“Yeah, pretty strange. But at least I can get an image of how big she gets…” I smile. “It’s pretty cool.”

“Sorry babe but _the annoying symptoms aren’t likely to go away anytime soon, on the contrary you’re going to experience something new. Leg cramps, stretching and drinking lot of water can help. Backaches… consider sleeping with one big body pillow to help alleviate the pressure on your hips. Constipation,_ still so sorry babe, _and you’ll feel the need to go to the bathroom every minute.”_

“Nothing new.” I grumble. “Can I use you as a body pillow since I don’t have one?”

“Whatever you want, Betts.”

“Thank you Juggie… You can go on now.” The baby kicks particularly strong, making me wince.

“I felt that too.” Jug chuckles rubbing my belly. “Be good on mommy!” He chides gently.

I snort. “Yeah… Seems impossible!”

“We’re on topic! Hear this: _you’re probably feeling many kicks inside that twenty-seven weeks pregnant belly. You may even feel tiny hiccups, which are like patterns of little twitches. For now, sit back and enjoy the kicks and jabs. Next week, you should start counting kicks to make sure baby seems consistently active from day to day._ ”

“Hiccups? Really?” I laugh, excited before frowning. “Why do I have to count them?”

“Not sure…” He shrugs. “We’ll have to ask Toni in the morning.”

“Yeah… Oh! Kevin said he has a surprise for us but I’m not sure what he means. He’s going to give it to us as soon as the baby is born.”

“Alright! Now I’m worried!” He laughs.

“Don’t be mean… He’s been so good to us lately. He’s still feeling guilty for how he behaved.”

“Everything’s fine now… He needs to let go of the past.”

“It’s what I told him.”

“I’ll talk to him in the morning…"

I yawn. “Thanks… Keep going. Seems like your voice is lulling the baby to sleep.”

He smiles, kissing my forehead. “ _Baby’s practicing inhaling and exhaling with his or her rapidly developing lungs. And it's official: baby's showing brain activity. From here on out, baby’s brain will keep getting more complex, turning that twenty-seven week fetus into a real smarty pants._ ” He chuckles, making me smile.

“Just like you…” I murmur, my eyes closed.

“And you…” He whispers. “It’s time to sleep, love. I’ll be your body pillow for as long as you need.”

“Mmh-kay. Goodnight Juggie.”

*** 

“Jug, I was thinking… Maybe it’s time to start thinking about names?” I tell him while I swim around the small pond he has found a couple of weeks ago. We’re in the middle of summer, the weather is warm but here between the trees it’s very much bearable. The cold water helps with my backaches and swollen feet. Bob’s resting by the shore, belly up and tongue dangling.

He holds my hands and brings me closer to him, smiling. “Yeah, I think you’re right. Got any ideas?”

“A few maybe but I’m still not sure. What about you?” I wrap my arms around his neck and let him drag me around the clear water.

He shrugs. “Same. What do you think if we go back home? We could get comfortable on the bed and try to find inspiration… We have a book full of baby names after all.”

“Yeah, alright. Can we come back tomorrow? This cold water helps a lot with the pain and Toni recommended the swimming…”

“We can come back, don’t worry.” He kisses my nose and helps me out of the water before wrapping a big towel around me. His hand lingers over the bump for a moment, smiling at the movements. “I can’t wait to see her or him…”

“Me too.” Bob struts toward us and sits by our feet, yapping. “What is it?”

He licks Jug’s hand before running back toward the cabins. “I think he’s hungry. I know I am and we understand each other so well!"

I snort rolling my eyes. "Let’s go home, Jug.”

*** 

We settle over the bed as soon as we’ve dried ourselves and put on something comfortable to wear. Every day I thank Toni for having thought about everything when we were at the store. I might have totally forgotten maternity clothes…

“There are so many!” Jug exclaims. “How are we going to find the right one when we don’t even have an idea of how we want to call out child?”

“We still have so much time… We’ll be able to read the book in its entirety by the time the baby is here. You’ll see.”

“Okay, okay… Get comfortable then!” He says opening his arms for me. “Let’s start!”

I snuggle into his side and together we look at name after name.

Half an hour later I’m ready to give up. “How can it be so difficult to find a name?” I whine.

“There are too many. We could try to look for a unisex one? Since we don’t know the sex…”

“That list is way shorter fortunately. Read a few?”

“Let's see… There's Logan, Jayden, Maxwell, Jade… Jaden, Sage… Jamie…” He stops and frowns. “You know… We haven’t talked about surnames. Ever. What do you wanna do?”

“Give the baby yours. Mine needs to end with me when the time comes… I mean, I wish it to be yours.”

“Are you sure? We could give her or him both? Cooper-Jones?”

I shake my head firmly. “No. I don’t want that. And… I was thinking that maybe _I could take yours too?_ ”

His head snaps toward mine almost hitting me in the nose. “Really? Are you being searious?”

I nod, biting my bottom lip. “It’s a new start, right?”

“It is.” He smiles. “We should have talked about this sooner.”

“Yeah, probably.” I snort looking back down at the page. “Jug… maybe I have an idea about the name.”

“I’m all hears.” He kisses my nose.

I lean up, draw my lips closer to his ear and whisper the name that has captured my attention. It’s beautiful and could be perfect for a girl and a boy as well. I look up at his face right after, his eyes are sparkling.

“I think it’s perfect.”

*** 

“Juggie how can you possibly like me right now?” I sniffle a couple of days later while I sit by the shore of the pond. Toni and the girls are on their way to join us. “I mean… I feel horrible! And useless! I want you all the time but I’m too gross to have sex with you!”

He stops undressing and looks down at me, pants halfway down his thighs. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me!” I snap. “You know what I’m talking about! I’m horrible now! I’m going to be a monster by the end of this pregnancy!"

“No. Babe! Absolutely not! You’re amazing!” He exclaims kneeling beside me. “You’re carrying our child…”

“I know and I love that I’m able to do this but… I feel ugly. I wish I could make love to you like we used to but everything down there is messed up and you’re going to get tired of me!” I start crying.

He wraps his arms around me, rocking back and forth. “I could never get tired of you, love. You’re my wife and my soulmate. You’re the mother of my unborn child and nothing, _nothing_ could ever change the way I feel about you. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes…”

I sniffle and lean my head against his shoulder. “I feel very hormonal right now…”

“Yeah…” He smiles. “I’ve noticed.”

“Just… Does it bother you?” I ask him quietly.

“What?”

“Not having sex?”

“Betts… No. It doesn’t bother me! If you don’t feel comfortable enough right now to do that it’s okay! Alright?”

I nod into his chest. “It’s not you though… You’re so hot!”

He chuckles. “You’ve told me that already.”

I bite my lip and look up at him. “I know… Jug I-”

“Hey guys!” Toni’s voice comes from our side. “We’re here! This place isn’t easy to reach!”  
  
I look at her and smile, trying not to seem as frustrated as I feel. “It’s nice though. We were just going to get in!”

“How are you feeling Betty?” Cheryl asks sitting beside me in a nice one piece swimsuit.

“I’m okay… Thank you Cher. I’m sorry if I can’t help as much as I should.”

“What are you talking about? It’s not like there’s much to do besides taking care of the animals and tend to the garden!” She exclaims. “The wild herbs are well stocked, the apples won’t be ready until autumn, unfortunately and everything else is taken care for!”

I pout. “I still feel useless.”

“Betts!” Veronica scolds me. “You keep pouting like you are right now and you’ll be full of wrinkles by the end of the month!”

“Very funny V!” I sigh. “I’m gonna get in the water. Jug?"

He’s smiling, amused by everything probably. “Right behind you.”

He holds my hands. “Let’s try not to slip, shall we?”

Toni jumps into the water without preambles, splashing all of us. Cheryl shrikes and we can't help but laugh. I submerge my body, Jughead’s arms wrapped around my waist.

“Are you feeling better?” He murmurs into my ear.

“A bit… The cold water helps me.”

Toni swims toward us smiling. “You look nice Betty. How’s the baby?”

“Perfectly fine I’d say! Always kicking and practicing with my organs!” I tell her leaning my head back against Jug’s chest. “I believe we’re going to have a little ninja around.”

Jug chuckles. “Or a ballerina.”

“You guys… I can’t wait to know if it’s a boy or a girl.” She sighs pensively.

“We can’t wait either.” Jug agrees.

“Tell us something…” Veronica says entering the pond. “Have you thought about names?”

“Yep. Not too long ago, actually.”

“Exciting! Can you tell us?” She claps her hands looking back at Cheryl, still laying in the sun by the shore.

I shake my head. “Sorry but it’s gonna be a surprise, V!”

“Come ooon! A little hint? Pleeease?” She pouts whining.

“The name is unisex.” Jug tells her. “That’s all you’re gonna get. Sorry, Veronica.”

“Unisex? Are you sure?” Cheryl asks clearly unimpressed.

“Completely.” I nod. “We love it.”

“That’s all that matters.” Toni approves. “Won’t take long.”

“As long as she or he needs.” Jug tells her brushing his fingers against the side of my belly.

*** 

That night I sit in bed, waiting for Jug to join me. I have this thought running around my head since this afternoon and I can’t really shake it away.  
When I feel the bed dip a little, I turn my head toward him and stare at the beauty of his body. I want to make him feel good like he does to me. Am I confident enough?

“Do you find me attractive?” I ask him suddenly.

He sighs. “Betts, of course! What has gotten into your head?”

“So…” I tell him without answering. “If I wanted to make you feel good… you’d be up to it?”

“Are you crazy?” He laughs. “I’d be up to anything!”

I bite my lip and look at him. “Good. Then I want to make you feel good.”

He blinks. “Now?”

I somehow kneel on the bed and straddle his legs. “Yeah. Now.”

He grabs my hips and smiles, his eyes darkening. “I don’t need you to do anything you don’t want-”

I grasp him through his sweatpants, smirking at the way he bites his bottom lip. “I want to.”

I kiss him deeply. There’s no need to dance around this. He moans into the kiss when my hand slips inside his boxers and I touch him like I know he likes to be touched, gripping him tight enough to make him see stars but not enough to push him over the edge too quickly.

“Pants off…” He growls.

“No… I-”

“ _I meant mine._ ” He smirks.

“Oh.” I smile bashfully. “Right.”

I shuffle back a little and drag his pants and boxers down his legs, low enough to get him free. I reposition myself into a comfortable position and wrap my hand around him once again, my lips attached to the skin of his neck.

“Betts…” He moans. “See what you do to me?”

I hold back my own moan, turned on by the fact that I am making him react like this. I leave a trail of kisses from his neck down to his chest before looking down at him, hastening the pace of my hand and gripping him tighter.

One of his hands finds the back of my head and drags me upward, his mouth goes straight to my neck and sucks. His hips are moving with my hand and I find myself grinding against his leg. I feel so hot down there that I could probably go up in flame.

“Just like that…” He mutters. “Take what you need.”

The moan I’ve been holding back leaves my throat and I do what he says, looking for the pleasure I know I’m minutes away from getting.

“Betts…” He calls my name through gritted teeth. “I’m going to come.”

The current friction between my clit, the fabric of my panties and his leg is enough to push me over the edge. I bite his shoulder and moan, loudly, still gripping and pleasuring him as best as I can even though my mind is too foggy. He mutters something I don’t understand and a moment later he’s coming onto my hand. A shiver runs along my spine when I hear him repetitively moan my name.

“Jeez…” He sighs. “You broke me.”

I laugh into his neck. “I sure hope I didn’t…”

“Well… I’m not sure I know how to walk.”

I giggle and sit up. “We should clean up…”

He nods and laughs, still out of breath. “Yeah, absolutely.”

We take a change of clothes and go to the bathroom to freshen up and get ready for the night. I’m glad I was able to do that for him even though I don’t feel very much at ease with myself. I meet his gaze through the little glass and I blush.

“What?” He smirks. “You weren’t that shy earlier…”

I slap him on the shoulder and feel my cheeks redden even more. “I am not shy.”

He wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek. “I love that you are. So beautiful…”

“I’m not…”

His hands rest on my belly, feeling our baby move. “You are. And you’re going to be an amazing mom. I understand that you feel insecure but Betty, you are everything I’ve ever wanted… Or better yet, you are everything I never imagined I could have.”

I sniffle and smile. “Okay.”

“Every time you feel ugly or useless… come to me. Okay? I'll make you change your mind."

I nod. “Thank you…”

“No need to thank me. Please. And… don’t feel bad for not wanting to have sex either! I can live without sex… even though I have to admit that seeing you grow our child is a strong turn on!”

“Juggie!” I laugh. “Please!”

“What?! It’s true!”

“Alright, alright! Can we go to bed now? Your child has sucked the last of my energy for today.”

He kisses my cheek one last time and guides me outside. “Will it be like this every time?”

“Like what?” I ask him while I try to find a comfortable position to sleep.

“Will it be _my child_ every time he or she does something wrong?”

I look up at him, smiling and fluttering my eyelashes. “Of course. I’m going to push a pumpkin sized baby out of my vagina, Jughead. Don’t fight me on this.”

He raises his hands up in defeat and laughs. “Whatever you want, love.”

“Good. That’s what I like to hear.” I snuggle into his side, closing my eyes. “Can you scratch my back please?”

He chuckles and kisses my forehead. “Goodnight Betts.”


	42. Mama bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to sleep.” I mutter. “I need to sleep.”  
> “Okay, let’s sleep.” He crawls over the bed until he’s beside me. He hugs me to himself and kisses my forehead. “It’s gonna be okay, love.”  
> “You keep saying that… But I feel too fucking bad to believe it.”  
> “As soon as the baby’s out everything will get back to normal.”  
> “Do you really believe that?” I ask looking up at him.  
> “Yes, I do! It’ll be even better.” He smiles.

Waking up during the night with Bob barking scares the shit out of me.

“What happened?” I ask as Jughead stands quickly to look through the window.

“I’m not sure. Let me contact Pea and the guys with the radio…”

Sweet Pea answers right away. “There’s someone.” I hear him say, and my heart goes straight to my throat. How is it possible?

“Meet me outside.” Jug tells him before closing the communication and turning toward me. “Don’t move a finger and stay quiet. Okay?”

I nod, unable to talk or breathe. “B-be careful.”

“Don’t worry, okay?” He pleads taking the gun from the safe place he put it months ago. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

I watch as he leaves the house and I snuggle into the covers. I’ve just entered the thirty-fifth week and Braxton Hicks Contractions are getting every day a little bit more unbearable. Toni put me on bed rest a few weeks ago because of how strong they had gotten and since we don’t have the right equipment to care for a premature baby, we decided it was the best for both me and our child.

I can’t really understand what is going on but since everything seems quiet, I’d say nothing bad is happening. So I wait there, seated on the bed, surrounded by darkness for I don’t know how long. When the door opens I jump, startled… heart beating out of my chest.

“It’s me…” Jug murmurs sitting beside me and taking my hand. “Everything’s okay.”

“Who is it?”

“It’s just a girl. In the morning we’ll interrogate her… for now we have put her in one of the cabins with food and water.”

“A girl? Are you sure she’s alone?”

“Seems so. We let Bob sniffle around and he’s back to his normal self… She said she’s been walking for a while and she believed she could find shelter in the woods. Just like us.”

I frown, my stomach rolls over. “Okay… We’ll talk to her in the morning.”

“You don’t need to be there…”

“I want to. I’ll sit on a fucking chair! Since it seems like we are going to decide if letting her stay or not is the right thing to do I believe I have every reason to be there!”

“Betty… Of course. I didn’t mean it that way. Please, can you calm down now?” He brushes his fingers against my cheeks and smiles. “Everything’s fine…”

A small contraction hits me right then and there and I wince, laying back down and breathing through the nose like Toni explained. “Everything’s not fine!”

“Breathe, for me. I’m here.” Jug’s voice usually soothes me but right now it just gets on my nerves.

“I want to sleep.” I mutter. “I need to sleep.”

“Okay, let’s sleep.” He crawls over the bed until he’s beside me. He hugs me to himself and kisses my forehead. “It’s gonna be okay, love.”

“You keep saying that… But I feel too fucking bad to believe it.”

“As soon as the baby’s out everything will get back to normal.”

“Do you really believe that?” I ask looking up at him.

“Yes, I do! It’ll be even better.” He smiles. “Please, try to relax. Please.”

His right-hand massages my shoulder. “I hope this girl won’t bring bad news.”

“It’s just a girl…” He murmurs. “Exactly like you were… We need to give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“You’re right. I’m… overprotective right now…”

He smiles into my hair. “Understandably so! Mama bear, right?”

I snort. “Yeah. Mama whale seems more fitting to how I feel right now.”

“Hey, you’re beautiful and you’re not as big as you feel. You heard what Toni said… You’re smaller than you should be at almost eight months pregnant.”

“Yeah…” I murmur biting my lip and playing with the hem of his shirt. “Do you think the baby will be okay?”

“Why shouldn’t she? She moves a lot; I can feel her right now… I just got kicked in the side!”

I laugh quietly. “Yeah… We’re going to have a very active child.”

He gently prods my belly. “You should let mommy sleep… She’s tired and you need to stay in there a little longer!”

He or she kicks right back where his hand is resting and we both burst into a small laugh. “Yeah that tells you everything you need to know!” I tell him. “We’re gonna have a little ass kicker.”

“Probably.” He smiles. “Hey… try to sleep? I’ll wake you when we go talk to the girl. Alright?”

I nod into his chest, sighing. “Thank you for always being here…”

*** 

Jug wakes me up the next morning with a cup full of tea and small slices of watermelon. Our lasts.

“Good morning…” He smiles. “How are you feeling?”

“Better… Thank you Juggie.” I yawn while I stretch a little.

He helps me sit on the bed. “We’re going to go talk with the girl in a little while. Are you still up to it?”

I nod. “Of course. I want to see her with my own eyes…”

“Eat and drink your tea. I’ll wait for you…”

He settles beside me, head against the bump and hands wrapped around my waist. He talks with our child while he waits for me to finish my breakfast and I love listening to him. I love how the baby immediately responds to his voice, like he or she already knows him so well.  
By the time I’ve finished my breakfast he’s almost half asleep. “Jug… I need to pee and put on something a bit more presentable.”

“What is wrong with what you’re wearing? You’re perfect.” He mumbles, his face squished to the skin of my belly.

“Juggie I’m in my pajama!” I laugh. “Let me up. We need to go and I’m going to pee right here if you don’t move!”

He immediately sits up. “Alright, alright. Go to the bathroom! I’ll fix the bed while you get ready… Do you need me?”

“Not right now… With the shoes absolutely. I can’t even sit properly.” I huff standing up with his help. “I can’t wait to get back to normal. _If_ I’ll get back to normal!”

“Of course, you will! You’ll be perfect anyway!”

I snort and slam the door of the bathroom behind me. For now, I’ve been able to avoid any stretch mark but the pregnancy is still not over. Will he really love me anyway? I sigh and shake my head. _Don’t think about it_.  
I pee and change my clothes in record time; a long-sleeved shirt and some leggings will do for now. It’s not like I have a choice… it’s the most comfortable thing ever for me right now.  
I brush my hair, put them in a messy bun and leave the bathroom. “Can you help me with the shoes?”

“Yep. Sit on your throne milady!” He tells me gesturing toward one of our chairs.

I giggle and curtsy him before sitting down. He’s such a dork when he wants to be. The shoes are a tight fit lately considering my swollen feet. They’re still bearable but I'm already dreading the last month. Socks and slippers will be!

“All set!” He exclaims standing up. “Shall we go?”

I take his hand and nod. “We shall.”

*** 

The girl in front of me is a jab to my actual self-esteem. She’s beautiful, dark and exotic… everything I’m not.  
She eyes me while Jug helps me sit on one of the chairs. I’m not sure what to do… Do I smile? Do I welcome her? I look down and do nothing. _Very mature, Betty!_

“So…” Cheryl starts, eyebrow raised and arms crossed over her chest. “Who are you?”

She shrugs, eyes still on me. It’s unnerving. “I was trying to look for a safe place to spend the winter…”

Jug sighs and takes a step forward. “Are you alone?”

“Yes. I am.” She looks at him and right back at me.

“I’m sorry, is there something on my face or what?” I snap.

“No, it’s just… Have I seen you somewhere?”

I blink, surprised. “No. I don’t think so. Sorry.”

“You seem utterly familiar…”

“Have you always been by yourself?” Jug asks.

“No. I was with a group some time ago-”

“How long?” He insists. “What kind of group?”

“The past winter and it was mainly composed by families… I left because I felt out of place.”

“I’m sorry but I think you’re confusing me for someone else…”

She sighs and frowns. “Possibly.”

“So…” Toni interjects. “What’s your name and what are your intentions?”

“I’m Mika and really… I just need a place to bunk down for the winter.”

Toni shares a glance with Jug and me and shrugs. “She needs a chance. Just like we gave you one Betty.”

I nod. “Yeah… What did you do before _everything?_ ”

“I was a mechanic… Worked at this little place in a country lost in the middle of nowhere. The earthquake destroyed it completely.”

“Just like you, B!” Sweet Pea exclaims. “She’s good with cars too.”

“Really?” She questions.

“It was just a hobby…” The baby jabs me into the side with particular force and I wince. “My father taught me.”

“Alright… Let’s stop with this chit chat yeah?” Jug huffs. “If you stay you have to do your part. We’ve built something here working together. If you want to stay, we expect your participation. Clean the animals, feed them, kill them when we need to, dry the meat, hunt and tend to the garden… Everyday we go into the forest to find wild medicinal herbs. We’re stocking for the winter so we need as many as we can. There are some wild apples that will be canned and made into a jam. Do you think you can help?”

“Yes. I’m a champ at hunting.” She smiles. “And I don’t mind pulling my own weight if I have to.”

“Okay, Mika. I’m Jughead. This is my wife, Betty…” He says gesturing toward me. “The big scary guy is Sweet Pea. The small scary girl is Veronica-”

“Hey!” She snaps. “I can introduce myself! Thank you very much!”

“Yeah she’s kinda scary.” Mika smiles looking back up at Jughead.

“Damn right I am.” Veronica smirks. “Nice to meet you. Hope you’ll feel at home. This is the second to last available cabin so… you’re lucky!”

“Thank you, Veronica.”

“I am Cheryl.” Our redheaded friend says loudly offering her hand to Mika. “Your features are very exotic. I envy those eyes!”

“Uhm… Thank you?”

“I’m Toni. The doctor on duty around here.”

“I volunteered at a medical center… I could help if you want.” She tells her looking back at me. “I assisted during a couple of childbirths…”

“Really?” I ask looking back at Toni and Jug. My heart speeds up. I trust my friend so very much, but this girl’s help could be fundamental.

“Yeah. I mean… The doctor did the actual work, but you know… I learned a couple of things.”

“We could use your help. Thank you.” Jughead nods. “Toni?”

“Yeah absolutely. I’m studying everything I need on the medical books but… Your experience will surely simplify the process.”

“How far along are you?”

“Seven months and three weeks…” I smile looking down at my belly. The baby is very active this morning.

“You’re small. It’s best this way though… Less complications during the birth. The smaller in size the better.” She smiles back.

“Uhm… Can we talk about something less gross?” Kevin asks. “I am Kevin. And this is Fangs… my better half in everything.”

She chuckles. “Nice to meet you.”

Jug claps his hands, gathering everyone's attention. "Time to work. If you want to have this day to settle down and fix the place… You can find us around. We’re going on a hunt this afternoon. You’re welcome to join us.”

“Alright. Thank you. I won’t be a problem.”

“No, thank you.” Jug tells her. “You’re going to be a big help when the time comes…”

“It’s the least I can do.” She nods, eyes sparkling.

I frown. She’s so beautiful and I can’t help but feel jealous. What if Jughead finds her attractive? _He’s your husband. The father of your child and your soulmate. Stop it, Betty._ But then again… What if?

*** 

I sit on a chair outside our cabin, Bob at my feet and everyone buzzing around me… doing everything I can’t do. Jughead has been on the hunt for a couple of hours with Mika and Fangs and my mind is working against me in a way that hadn’t happened in a while.  
I sigh, finding this chair pretty uncomfortable but not wanting to go inside just yet.  
The radio by my side emits a sound and I grab it instantly, knowing that Jughead’s on the other side. “Betts? Can you hear me?”

“Jug. Yeah! Where are you? It’s been hours…”

“We’re on our way back. Just wanted to check on you…”

“I’m fine. I was worried though…”

“We’re almost home. Are you inside?”

“No.” I snap. “I’m seated on a chair outside.”

“Betty. Come on…” He sighs.

“No. I’ll wait you here.” I turn the radio off before he can answer back and cross my arms over my belly. The baby kicks a couple of times. “Yeah baby… daddy’s coming home.”

Bob raises his head and looks at me as if to ask if everything’s okay. I nudge him with a feet and smile. “Everything’s fine.” He yawns loudly and goes back to sleep.

Toni reaches me then, hands full of eggs. “Our chickens are amazing! We can make omelets for breakfast!”  
  
I smile. “Good.”

“Are you okay?” She frowns. “You seem stressed… You know what I told you-”

“I’m fine… Just, uncomfortable.”

She eyes the chair. “How long have you been sitting on that thing?”

I shrug. “Not sure. An hour or so…”

“Betty.” She frowns. “What is happening?”

I sigh. “I don’t know… I feel… _unsure_. Of everything…”

“Is this about the new girl?”

“No… Maybe! Toni… I’m horrible!” I start crying immediately. “I feel unattractive and now this girl comes around… good at everything and… I-I’m a m-monster!”

“Okay. Stop right there.” She says putting the eggs on the ground and holding my shoulders. “You are not a monster and Jug loves you! He’s your freaking husband!”

“I know… I just… My self-esteem is underground.”

Her eyes soften and she smiles. “I know… but you don’t need to feel that way. You’re beautiful… You are literally glowing and _you’re pregnant, Betty._ Don’t forget it! And he loves you with all of his heart…”

I nod, sniffling and drying my tears. “I just… I don’t know. I’m getting lost inside my head…”

“Yeah, you are… She seems nice. I don’t think she’s going to try and ruin your family. Who knows… maybe you’ve really met her somewhere.”

“I doubt it…”

Laughter and voices bring our attention toward the forest. Bob jumps on his legs and runs toward them.

“Betts…” Toni calls me kindly. “Please, don’t stress over this… Baby needs to stay in there a bit longer. If you stress, the risk of a preterm birth gets higher. Try to remember this, please.”

“I will…” I murmur. “I’m just scared… What if this isn’t what Jughead really wanted? What if I’m not good at this? What if… What if I ruin my child’s life like my mother ruined mine?”

She sighs and hugs me. “Jug wanted this… You told me so. Remember?”

I nod. “But… What if-”

“We’re back!” Jug’s voice distracts me. “Betts?”

“She’s fine!” Toni snaps. “She just needed a hug and now she’s going to go back inside. Right Betty?”

I look at them. They’re dragging a couple of stags and a boar… “Good catch.” I murmur. “Toni can you help me?”

“Yeah… Come on.” She takes me by the hands and helps me get on my feet. Light pain spreads through my lower back and I lean forward biting my lip. “You okay?”

I nod. “Braxton Hicks Contraction… I just need to lay down.”

Jug is by my side instantly. “I’ll help you. Toni take my deer. I’ll be out as soon as I’ve settled her.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” I mutter.

“Let’s go inside, Betts.” He insists lightly pushing me toward the door.

Once inside he helps me on the bed, takes my shoes off and throws a quilt over my body. He sits beside me and smiles at my frowny face.

“This isn’t funny at all.”

“I know, I’m sorry… Will you tell me what happened? You were crying… I can tell.”

I shake my head and close my eyes. “Nothing… I just got nervous.”

“Over what?”

“Nothing of importance… Just… things.”

He sighs, dragging his dirty hands over his face. “Betty.”

“How was the hunt?” I change the subject.

“Long. Betts-”

“How was Mika? Did she pull her own weight like she said?”

He frowns. “Yeah. She knows how to hunt. What’s going on?”

I shrug and look down.

“Are you… jealous, Betty?” He asks. I can hear the smirk without seeing it.

“No. Why should I? I’m just a beached whale sprawled on this fucking bed twenty-four seven! Very alluring!”

He sighs and stands up. I look up at him immediately. “I’m gonna go clean myself a little. I’ll be right back.” He kisses my forehead and closes himself into the bathroom.

“Fuck…” I mutter looking up at the ceiling. “This is so fucked up.”

I close my eyes and wait for him to come back out.

When he does, he smells and looks better. He sits beside me and hugs me to his chest. “Whatever is going on inside that pretty head of yours… Please… _don’t._ I love you and I want you with every fiber of my body. Always and at any moment of the day. All I care about right now is your safety. I don’t want or care about anybody else.”

“I know…” I whisper. “I know.”

“Then don’t think about anything else.”

“It’s not that simple…” I tell him. “My self-esteem is pretty low right now.”

“I’ve noticed. Listen… she’s nice. She offered to help you for the birth. Try to think positive, alright? She could become a friend for you… You like the same things!”

“I’ll try to get out of my head…” I sigh. “Go if you need to clean the deer. I don’t want it to rot…”

He nods and kisses me. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah… I’m gonna sleep anyway.”

“Good. I’ll be back in a bit. I love you.”

“I love you.” I murmur. “And I’m sorry… for being this difficult.”

He stands and chuckles. “Don’t worry. Relax now.”

“I will.”

*** 

We’re all dining together by the fire at Cheryl and Toni’s cabin. I’m feeling better somehow. The past week I’ve decided to let go of every last bit of stress and let it be… dwelling over every small little thing sure as hell won’t help me in the long run and at thirty-six weeks pregnant all I need is to feel at ease and relaxed. I’ve entered the eighth month and being four weeks away from my due date is scary enough.  
Mika seems a nice girl… She’s friendly with everyone and hasn’t really done anything to make me believe she wants to steal my husband.

Speaking of the devil… She sits beside me with a plate full of jerky. “Want some?”

“I’m okay thanks. I’ve eaten enough for tonight.” I smile at her.

“You know…” She says through a bite of food. “I think I might know why you seem so familiar but I’m not sure if telling you is the right thing or not…”

“What do you mean?” I ask frowning. “I’m sure I’ve never met you before in my life… Friends or acquaintances weren’t really my thing before all of this.”

“Yeah. I’ve never really met you either…” She tells me looking at her food. “But still… I saw you before from a picture that used to hang over my boss's workplace back in that little country lost in the middle of nowhere.”

I blink my eyes more times than I probably should. “What are you saying?”

“My boss was a quiet man, very private… He never really talked about his family, but he had this picture he used to stare at during every lunch break. One day I asked him. I was sure he wasn’t going to fire me because of a question… He didn’t answer me right away. He just stared at me with those sad eyes and sighed before recounting his whole story; how he was forced to leave his house because of an unbearable situation… How he wanted to take his youngest daughter with him but couldn’t because his wife had threatened to report him as child abductor. He left with a suitcase full of clothes and… a picture.”

The tears falling from my eyes are inevitable. “My dad?” I murmur. “Hal?”

She holds my hand, squeezing it tightly and smiling. “Yeah… He loved you very much. There wasn’t a day were he didn’t regret leaving you behind.”

The sob leaving my mouth catches everyone’s attention, especially Jug’s. He rushes to my side and I hug him tightly.

“What happened?” He asks concerned. “What did you say to her?”

I shake my head and look back up at him. “She did nothing wrong…”

“Why are you crying?”

“I worked for her father…” She tells everyone. “He used to have a picture of her over his workplace. That’s why I recognized her the first time we met.”

“Betts…” Jug murmurs.

I look back at Mika. “Where is he?”

“We got out together and stayed with that group… He was still with them when I left.”

My heart speeds up. “How… Where were they?”

“I’m not sure. They lived in a small house into the woods-”

“Where? How far away from here?” Jug interrupts her.

“Two or three weeks of walk from here… I believe.”

“Jug…” I whisper. “Jug… He’s so close!”

“He’s a month and a half away from here… What do you want me to do?” He asks holding my face in between his hands.

“I-I… I don’t know… The baby will probably come in four weeks… I-”  
  
“I’m going back there.” Mika says. “I’ll bring him here-”

“I’m coming with you.” Kevin interrupts her, surprising us all.

“Kev…” I murmur.

“Please. Please… let me do this for you. I need to do something good to make up for what I did.”

“Kevin… We’ve talked about this.” Jug tells him. “It’s in the past.”

“I know but I want to do this.”

“It’s going to get cold.” Veronica sighs. “You need heavier clothes and food… We’ll give you everything you need for the trip.”

“Thank you.” Mika smiles. “And thank you Kevin for keeping me company.”

He shrugs. “We can’t let you go back there alone…”

“What about the birth?” Toni says. “You could have helped…”

“You have everything under control.” She tells her. “Just remember to tell her to push during the contractions… Not sooner nor later.”

I blush deeply. “I-I think I’ll remember now.”

They all laugh while Jug holds me to his side. “Thank you Mika… Really.”

“I’m doing this for her… But I’m doing this for my friend too. He was always so sad… Knowing he still has a daughter and a grandchild on its way is going to make him so happy. I owe him a lot… He took me in when I was at my lowest and he helped me get back on my feet.”  
  
I take her hand and hold it tightly. “Still… Thank you. And I’m sorry if I was a bitch in the beginning…”

“You’re pregnant. I can excuse every single behavior!” She laughs. “Don’t worry… I was, _and am_ , a stranger. You just wanted to protect your family. It’s understandable.”

“I should have given you the benefit of the doubt.”

“Water under the bridge! Alright?”

I nod and smile. “When are you going to leave?”

She shares a glance with Kevin and shrugs. “The sooner the better?”

“Yeah…” He agrees. “The longer we wait the higher is the risk of getting caught by the storms. We could leave in a day or so?”

“Alright. It’s set! One day!” She nods. “We need to pack our backpacks and stock on things…”

“Take everything you need. Both of you…” Toni says. “Mika do you mind staying a little longer now? I need to be sure that I have everything under control. Is that okay for you Cher? You could assist me when the time comes…”

“Guys… I’m here, you know?” I whine.

“Oh hush mama bear!” Cheryl snorts before looking back at Toni. “Of course I can assist!”

“I’ll stay a little longer.” Mika nods. “Even though I’m sure you're going to do amazingly.”

Jug clears his voice and yawns standing up, taking me with him. “Time to go to bed Betts. Tomorrow we’ll plan everything for your trip…”

“It’s gonna be so much fun!” Mika tells us winking at me. “I can’t wait to see your father’s reaction once I tell him you’re alive…”

“I can’t wait to see him.” I smile. “Goodnight everybody and thank you again.”

*** 

When we’re both in bed the tears come back.

“It’s gonna be okay…” Jug murmurs. “I know it.”

“Y-yeah…” I sniffle. “Jug… I-I really believed he left me without a second thought.”

“Now you know the truth and soon you’re going to be with him. You’re going to have your father back.” He tries to comfort me. “I’ll have to make a good impression then!”

I snort through a snotty nose. “He’s going to love you.”

“I hope! I still have a little bit more than a month to mentally prepare.”

“Oh, stop it Juggie!” I laugh, tears almost gone. “I love you. He’s gonna see how good you are for me and he’ll understand… Plus, we can bribe him with the baby! How could he possibly resist our baby's cuteness?”

“Our baby will be beautiful.” He smiles. “Just like you.”

I snuggle into his side and close my eyes. “I’m going to see my dad…”

“Yeah… You are.”

Of one thing I’m well aware right now: the fear of giving birth has been overshadowed by the eagerness of meeting my dad.


	43. Plus One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll be right back. Don’t move!”  
> “Where am I supposed to go?!” I shout at him even though he’s already outside. I put one more pillow behind my back and try to get comfortable…

The morning Mika and Kevin left in the company of my dog I was a mess. If I weren’t pregnant, I’d probably be going with them but since it’s not possible I just have to wait and see. A whole month. Maybe more.

Toni is a bit worried because I really can’t help but feel restless… I’m anxious and stressed by all of this. I’m trying, I really am… Jughead is always by my side. Our friends are doing all the work around adding to my moodiness.  
At eight months and two weeks I’m more than done with being patient and calm. The skin of my belly itches, my feet are swollen, my legs are shocked by lighting bolts-like sensations all the time and my back hurts like hell… I can’t sleep because there isn’t really a good position for me and the baby moves at the worst times.

At thirty-eight weeks, I can’t wait for this baby to come out of me. I’m not even worried about the actual birth… I mean, _I am a little worried_ but I want my baby in my arms as soon as possible.

“Any sign of labor?” Toni asks one afternoon. “Mucus? Regular contractions?”

“Yeah… A bit more than usual.” I grumble shifting position on the chair.

“Won’t take long, you’ll see. Your belly has dropped… You just need to stay calm. Okay? Everything’s under control.”

“Calm? How can I stay calm?” I whine.

“Try to breathe, my friend!” She chuckles while she leaves me there, on the fucking chair. Fantastic.

*** 

I really can’t sleep that night; I feel restless and I can’t stop thinking about my dad. How he’ll be here soon, and he’ll find me with a baby and a husband. Will he be happy? Will he be disappointed? I try to change position, but a sharp pain makes me stop exactly where I am.

“Jug.” I call him aloud.

He mumbles something unintelligible and I huff, trying my best to sit up. “Jug!”

He jumps awake and turns toward me. “What? What happened?”

“My back hurts… I need to walk. Can you help me?”

He immediately stands up and comes to my side of the bed. “Take my hands.” He murmurs. “Does it hurt more than usual?”

I frown when I get on my feet. Those lightning bolts-like sensations are getting worse by the minute. “Yeah… It does.”

“Do you wanna go take a walk outside? Want some fresh air?”

I shake my head and bite my lip. “No. I just need to walk around a bit…”  
  
He follows me step by step until I feel the urge to pee. I stop on my tracks when I feel my feet get wet; for a moment all I can think about is that I peed myself and that’s going to be embarrassing for my husband to clean but then I realize it’s not pee and I snap my head up, eyes wide looking at him.

“J-Jug…?”

He nods and helps me back to the bed. “I’ll go get Toni.” He smiles nervously before kissing my forehead. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move!”

“Where am I supposed to go?!” I shout at him even though he’s already outside. I put one more pillow behind my back and try to get comfortable but the pain in the back is mutating and moving. Now I can clearly recognize the contractions… my belly is so hard at the touch. I breathe like the book said and try to bear it. “It’s gonna be okay…” I tell myself. My voice is trembling but I’m not as scared as I thought I’d be… I’m finally going to see my baby and the excitement overcomes any fear.

Jug, Toni and Cheryl almost knock the door down when they enter.

“Next time take it off its hinges.” I tell them.

“Betty!” Toni exclaims smiling. “I knew it was going to happen soon!”

“Isn’t it a bit _too early?_ ” Jug asks concerned.

“It’s sooner than what we expect but considering the level of stress she’s been under the past few weeks it was meant to happen. The baby will be perfectly fine.”

“How are you feeling Betts?” Cheryl asks sitting beside me.

“My back hurts… contractions are coming steadily but still not very close in time. I-I think it might take a while.”

“Can I do something for you?” Jug asks me. He’s more nervous than me, it makes me giggle.

“No Jug… I’m okay for now, just… relax? For me?”

He nods quickly and starts pacing. “Can I bring you some water? Toni what can I do?”

She shakes her head smiling and looks at him. “We need clean water. Go take some, Cheryl will help you. A bucket or two should be enough.”

“Okay! I’ll be right back!” He exclaims rushing outside. “Cher you coming?”

“Yeah yeah! She won’t be giving birth anytime soon, daddy!” She laughs following him.

Once we’re left alone Toni takes my hand and squeezes it. “How are you feeling? Emotionally?”

“I’m actually pretty calm…” I tell her looking down at my belly. “I can’t wait to meet the baby.”

“I think everyone of us is eager to meet her or him.” She smiles. “I need to take a look down there Betts and assess the dilation of the cervix. Can you sit back a little and get in position?”

I do as she asks and look while she puts on a pair of latex gloves. A contraction hits me right then and there and I bite my lip, squeezing my eyes shut and fisting my hands around the quilt underneath me. “Shit…” I moan. “This hurts.”

“Breathe… in through your nose, out through your mouth.” She tells me. I listen to her soothing voice. “Every time you exhale focus on relaxing a different part of your body…”

It takes a minute but then the pain goes away and I’m able to open my eyes once more. “I’m okay now…”

“How much time has gone by since the last one?”

“Ten minutes?” I tell her. “Not sure… My back has been hurting all night long…”

“Alright. Get in position. We really need to take a look. Sorry but it’s necessary Betts!”

I nod and open my legs. Toni takes my wet panties off and does her job. She’s very considerate and careful, trying not to hurt me, but when she gets to my cervix, I can’t help but wince. “Ouch.”

“Yeah sorry… it gets a little bit uncomfortable. You’re five centimeters dilated Betts! You’re in active labor!”

“Already?” I look at her bewildered. “What does it mean?”

“Nothing… I mean… It still could take a long while before you’re fully dilated. We’ll have to time the contractions from now on-”

“Alright. How long do you think it’s gonna take?”

“I can’t tell you that… Every birth is different, and I don’t have first-hand experience. Mika told me it could take up to a whole day, more than a day or even less… Depends…”

I huff and lean my head back against the pillow. “I hope I won’t fall into the more than a day cases. I won’t be able to endure it.”

“Of course you will Betts. I’m sure of it.” She reassures me, smiling.

Almost fifteen minutes later the door bursts open once again, scaring the both of us.

“We’re back!” Jug says loudly. A bucket full of water in each hand. Cheryl is right behind him with another bucket.

“There’s no need to be that loud!” I snap at him right when another contraction hits. I groan and throw my head back. He’s by my side immediately, holding my hand.

I breathe in and out and squeeze his hand. “Damn it…” I mutter through gritted teeth. “I-I need to walk. C-can I walk?”

“Of course… It’s advised. You can squat and do some lounges too…” Toni tells me. “Cher… it’s gonna take a while. Do you wanna go back to bed? I’ll call you as soon as I need you.”

She shrugs and looks up at the loft. “I’ll wait up there on the couch. Is that okay?”

“Yeah.” Jug tells her still looking at me. “Do whatever you want.”

The light coming from the fireplace and the moon outside are enough to brighten the room while I move around. Jughead is walking backwards in front of me.

“Are you okay?” I ask him staring up at his eyes.

He nods quickly. “I am… Just… a bit scared for you and the baby.”

I put my arms around him and kiss his lips. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

“How are you so calm?” He asks bewildered. “How am I not the calm one in this situation? I should be reassuring you!”

“I am scared, Juggie! But I can’t wait to meet our baby…” I murmur bending forward when I feel another contraction come. “H-hold me!”

He wraps his arms around my waist and sustains me while he murmurs sweet things into my hear. Tears are streaming down my face, a mix of happiness and fear for what’s going to happen in the coming hours. A minute later I relax and resume my walk around the room. Toni is sitting by the fireplace, reading the medical book for a last minute consultation.  
It’s gonna be long and difficult, I’m sure of it.

“Do you want some water?”

I nod. “Just a sip or two… Thank you.”

Together we walk toward the kitchen, he pours some into a glass and helps me drink sip by sip.

“Not too much water Betts.” Toni advises standing up and coming toward us. “Do you have something to put on the bed? To save the covers? Maybe an old quilt or something?”

“There’s a tarp in the basement.” Jug tells her. “Could that be useful?”

“Yes. Betty go with him… The stairs will help move the labor along.”

***  
The morning comes and goes, and the pain becomes every hour more unbearable. All I can concentrate on is the pain. Jughead is doing everything in his power to try and distract me and I love him for this but nothing can really take my mind away from what I’m feeling.

“I c-can’t do t-this!” I exclaim in between tears. “I… I c-can’t!”

“You can, Betts! Of course you can!” Jug tells me soothingly. “I’m here with you…”

“You’re not the one who needs to push a human being out of your body!” I snap at him before bursting into tears.

“Toni how long is it going to take?” Cheryl asks.

“Last time I checked dilation had gone to eight centimeters. At this rate it won’t take much longer… Betts you need to be strong, alright?”

I nod slowly, trying to breathe and slow my heartbeat. “I’m thirsty…”

Jughead passes me the glass of water and helps me take a couple of sips before giving it to Cheryl. “Can’t you check one more time?” He asks Toni.

“Jug-”

“Please Toni!” I exclaim. “Please, I can’t take it anymore. I need to push!”

“Alright… get in position.”

I open my legs and wait for the familiar sensation of getting measured, but it doesn’t come. “What is it?”

“Betts… I’m not sure how it happened that fast, but I can see the head, sweetie. It’s time to push.”

“W-What? H-How?” A contraction takes my breath away and I can’t hold back the cry. “I need to push! I need to push!”

“Jughead get behind her and hold her knees back. Cheryl… water, clean towels and scissors. Now.”

“I’m here Betts, our baby will be here soon! You’re doing perfect!” He tells me as soon as he gets behind me.

I’d probably be ashamed of the position I’m right now, if only I cared. I don’t care if everyone can see my private parts… which I believe aren’t all that nice to look at. I just want my baby out of my body.

“At the next contraction, push… alright? In the meantime, you need to breathe like I told you. Alright? Jug do that with her… help her through it!”

I listen to my husband’s breathing pattern and try to copy it even though my heart is beating so fast it’s almost impossible.  
When the contraction hits I grit my teeth and push with all the strength I have in my body, screaming and holding Jug’s wrists so tightly that I’m sure he won’t have circulation in his hands by the end of the day.

“Just like that Betty! You’re doing so good!” Cheryl encourages me.

“It h-hurts!” I cry taking a deep breath, waiting for the next one. “This is going to be your only child Jughead!” I snap at him a moment later. “Forget about siblings!”

“Whatever you want, love. Whatever you want!”

“Shut up!” I growl as soon as my belly tightens. I immediately start to push under Toni instructions while Cheryl wets my forehead with a towel.

It’s so tiring that at some point I can’t find the strength to keep pushing. I let myself fall against Jug’s shoulder and close my eyes, shaking my head, crying.

“I… I can’t…”

Jughead kisses my forehead and whispers into my ear that I’m amazing, that I’m doing amazing and that we’re going to meet or child very soon. A small smile rises over my lips and I nod.

“I know… I’m just so… _tired_ Juggie.”

“You can sleep afterward. For now, our baby needs you Betts, alright? I’m here with you…”

“Come on Betts!” Cheryl encourages me. “You’re so strong!”

The contraction comes and I bear down, pushing and pushing and pushing until the pain becomes unbearable seconds before it disappears almost immediately. _Almost_.

My ears are ringing but I can clearly distinguish the small piercing cry of my child. I can’t control the tears falling down my cheeks and by the heavy breathing coming from behind me, neither can Jug.  
Toni fumbles around for a moment before wrapping our child into a soft towel and giving her or him to us.

“It’s a girl…” Toni says through her own tears. “And she’s beautiful guys.”

I stare at this small creature, eyes shut, all wrinkled and dirty… and she’s the best thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Tears are still falling down my cheeks, uncontrollable; I look up at Jughead, diverting my gaze from the small miracle in my arms and see that he’s almost sobbing. His eyes meet mine and he leans down to kiss my lips before wrapping his arms around my body and brushing a hand against our daughter’s soft cheeks.

“Thank you…” He murmurs, voice rough. “Thank you.”

I shake my head, unable to speak, and kiss him one more time before looking back down at our baby.

“You can cut the chord now, Juggie. And Betts… I’m sorry but you still need to expel the placenta. Cheryl, please bring some of the warm water here.”

Jughead moves from behind me, helping me into a more comfortable position, takes the scissors and cuts where Toni tells him before she clamps the side remaining attached to our baby with a clip of some sort. Then I give her to him. He’s there, right by my side, and the adoration in his eyes brings back the tears I had been able to control for a little moment.

Toni stands beside me and smiles, brushing back the hair matted to my forehead. “You’re almost done, Betts. You did so good!”

I nod tiredly. “I’m so worn out…”

She chuckles before starting to push slightly on my stomach. After the childbirth I’ve just endured… expelling the placenta is almost a kids-play. She puts it into one of the empty buckets and tells Cheryl to just throw it out.

“We need to take away the tarp so you’ll be more comfortable…Can you move a little?” She asks me. “I don’t know how you didn’t tear. You’re very lucky, B.”

Cheryl and Toni clean me up, help me change into a new set of clothes and move me around the tarp before they get me into a very hideous panties-like diaper.

“You’re all set.” Toni smiles. “Daddy do you want to clean the baby a little? The water is still warm…”

He looks at me, eyes wide open. “I-I… Y-yeah. How?”

Toni takes our daughter from him and goes into the kitchen, followed by both Cheryl and Jughead. Her girlfriend plugs the sink and pours the warm water into it before melting some of the soap. Toni takes the towel off my daughter’s small body and uses a soft rag to clean her. She instantly starts crying, my heart breaking into a million pieces at her distress.

“Take her carefully and start wiping her skin, gently…” She instructs. “Don’t get scared by her crying. She’s probably hungry too… not only angry at us for getting her all wet and clean.”

I watch as Jug cleans her to the best of his abilities, his hands clearly shaking. “I-I think she’s clean enough. Right?”

“Yeah Jug, she is. Now the diaper and the onesie. I’ll help you… wrap her up in the clean towel and bring her to Betty.”

He joins me a moment later and sits crossed legged beside me, our daughter squirming into his arms. “I’m so scared Betts… She’s so small and fragile…”

“She’s stronger than you think…” I murmur, my eyelids getting heavier and heavier.

Toni brings us one of the diapers and a small cute onesie, green with white dots all over it. With some difficulty he gets her both into the diaper and the onesie and then he gives her to me. She instantly nuzzles into my chest and I smile down at her beautiful face… brushing a finger over her pouty lips.

Jug sits beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “She’s beautiful…”

Cheryl and Toni are standing by the foot of the bed. “So… can we know her name now?”

“And tell the others?” Cheryl adds. “I’m sure they’re all outside themselves waiting for the news!”

I smile at them and look up at my sweet husband. “Jade. Jade Jones. We wanted her to have a precious name…”

“It’s beautiful. And perfect. Exactly like her.”

I yawn, my eyes falling shut. “I need to try and feed her before I fall asleep…”

“We’ll leave you three alone. I think we’re going home too… It’s been a long night and day. I’ll come by tomorrow morning, alright? If you need me for anything don’t hesitate. Call me.”

“Thank you, T. And Cher. You’ve been a blessing through all of this…” Jughead tells them genuinely. “Go, sleep. We’ll be okay here…”

They leave soon after, allowing us some time for ourselves. I still can’t believe it… This perfect creature was inside me just a day ago and now she’s here. Perfect. I breathe into her smell, trying to memorize every small little detail. I wish I could stay awake forever… I don’t want to miss anything of her life.  
As soon as I put her in position and help her toward my naked nipple, she latches on… It hurts a bit but it’s bearable. She needs to eat after all and this is her only way of sustainment for now.  
I close my eyes and try to relax while she drinks her milk.

“Can I do something for you?” Jug asks quietly after a while, disrupting the silence.

“I think I’m just going to sleep. I can’t keep my eyes open Juggie. Will you be able to be with her for a little while?”

He nods, kissing my forehead. “Of course, love. Do I put her in her crib?”

“Yeah… Burp her first…” I mumble. “She’s done eating…”

He takes her from me, and holds her against his shoulder, patting her slightly against her back. I try to keep my eyes open, not wanting to miss any of his interactions with little Jade, but I’m so tired…  
I fall asleep at the sound of my husband talking sweetly to our perfect daughter.  



	44. A Glimpse Into the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re too cute to be real!” Toni giggles while she looks at Jade, who’s kicking wildly in her arms. “Yeah… Sorry Betts but beside her hair she’s Jughead’s spitting image.”  
> “I know and I love it.” I tell her smiling. “She’s perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting near the end of this story!  
> It's been wild and sometimes difficult but all worthy!💪  
> I hope you're gonna like my work till the end.  
> I'm a sucker for happy endings so… expect one for sure!😉  
> In the meantime… Thanks to those who decided to use some of their time to read, comment and like the story.  
> I'm pretty satisfied of the response given that it's my first and I'm _never sure_ of what I'm doing.

According to our calendar Jade Jones was born on September twenty-five.

The first few days are the worse to get used to, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. She wakes up at night to eat every two or three hours, our sleeping schedule has completely changed. We sleep while she sleeps and the rest of the time, we stare at her, change the diapers, wash them, clean her and entertain her… It’s difficult but I love it. _We love it._

Jughead is amazing with her. I’m still hurting, I can’t stay upright for a long period of time but by the start of week two I’m almost back on my feet.

The weather has changed drastically in the span of a week. It’s been two days of incessant rain, but we don’t mind… we’re okay huddled inside our little home. Jughead and the boys still had to go outside and hunt but thankfully we remembered to take some k-ways when we went into the store.

I’m propped up over my elbow, cheek against my hand, while my sweet baby sleeps soundly beside me on the bed. Her small head is covered with fine blonde hair and her lips are the exact same copy of Jughead’s. All pouty and heart shaped. The color of her eyes is still gray… it will take a while for it to settle.

I sigh smiling and put my free hand over her belly. Her breath is quick and steady and I can’t help but lean down and leave a kiss over her forehead, taking in her baby smell.  
The door opens quietly and I turn my head toward it. Jughead comes inside still covered by the K-Way.

“Hey, you.” I welcome him.

“Hey!” He smiles as he takes his shoes and outer layers off. “How is it going?”

“She’s sleeping like an angel.”

He comes to her side of the bed and sits, eyes sparkling. “Has she been good while I was out?”

“She pooped and ate a lot. She was perfect.” I give her one more kiss. “What about you guys? What did you do?”

“We set some traps in the stream. We want to try and catch fish.”

“I remember you asking me some time ago. I hated the idea back then… Now I think it’s gonna add omega-3, calcium, phosphorus and other vitamins to our diet. We can’t just eat meat and eggs all the time.”

He kisses my mouth. “Completely agree with you.”

I sigh and look back down at Jade. “You know… A couple of weeks ago you said that after her birth everything would go back to normal. In a way it did… I finally can see my feet, my back hurts less than usual… but it’s not how it was before Juggie-”

“What do you mean?” He interrupts frowning.

I shake my head. “Always so eager. I was just saying that things are a thousand times better.”

His gaze softens and he nods. “Yeah… I finally feel at peace, Betts. My heart has doubled in size…”

“I know what you mean. _I love you!_ And I love _her_. So much. My world spins around the two of you… I don’t understand how my mother couod hate me that much.”

“Hey.” He gathers my attention with a gentle nudge. “She wasn’t fit to be a mother. That’s just how it was. You are kind and loving and humble… You could never be like her. Or my mother for the record.”

“I know.” I murmur. “I’m sorry… I know you had it hard too.”

“It’s in the past. This is our life Betty.” He takes my hand and puts it over our daughter’s small foot.

“Yeah. It’s all that matters. This and get my dad back. He’s going to love her Juggie. And you. Just like we all do.”

*** 

“You’re too cute to be real!” Toni giggles while she looks at Jade, who’s kicking wildly in her arms. “Yeah… Sorry Betts but beside her hair she’s Jughead’s spitting image.”

“I know and I love it.” I tell her smiling. “She’s perfect.”

“We all agree with that…” Veronica gushes looking over Toni’s shoulder. “I can’t wait for the weather to get better and see her in all those frilly clothes Toni got her! We’re always holed up in the cabins!”

“She got them without me knowing.” I laugh. “You can come by anytime you want. How are you V? How’s Pea?”

She rolls her eyes huffing. “He’s trying to learn how to make braids. My scalp is resenting me by now. But he’s really sweet… He’s so happy for you guys.”

I brush my daughter’s nose and chuckle as she widens her eyes at me. “We’ll be here, waiting for him.”

“I can’t believe she’s already two weeks old… it seems yesterday when you told us you were pregnant!” Cheryl exclaims disconcerted. “Where did the time go?”

“I wish I’d known…” I tell her biting my lip. “It’s still strange… She’s been a part of me for so long that sometimes I get anxious…”

“Are you feeling okay though?” Toni asks, a frown wrinkling her forehead.

“Don’t worry T, I’m fine. I’ve read the books and I’m pretty sure I’m not suffering of post-partum depression. Juggie is fantastic. He helps me with everything and he’s keeping me sane… I’m okay. I swear!” I smile reassuringly. “The only thing missing is my dad. Shouldn’t they be here by now?”

“They’ll be home soon Betts… You’ll see. Don’t worry. The weather might have slowed them down a little.” Veronica tries to comfort me. “Where is Jughead?”

“By the stream with Fangs and Sweet Pea I believe, to see if there’s some fish in the traps this time.”

“Yum… fish!” Cheryl groans. “I miss fish!”

Jade makes a small sound and starts pouting. Toni freezes. “What is she doing?”

I smile at her. “I believe she’s hungry. It’s time for her feed!”

She gives my baby back to me and I snuggle her closer to my chest. I lift the large shirt and let her latch onto my nipple. She immediately starts sucking. “She has an appetite.” I chuckle.

“Poor Betts!” Toni pats my shoulder. “If she has Jughead’s hunger you’re up for long days and nights!”

I shrug while looking down at Jade’s fluttering eyelashes. “It’s okay. I don’t mind feeding her… She’s a good baby. She cries only when she’s colicky, the rest of the time she barely whimpers.”

“You’re so good with her-” Veronica starts saying before being interrupted by the door opening. Jughead and the boys enter our cabin, shedding their jackets.

“How are my girls?” Jug asks leaning down for a kiss. He holds one of Jade’s socked small feet in his hand.

“We’re okay. She was hungry.”

“Take your time sweetie!” He murmurs to our daughter. “Sweet Pea is only dying to hold you! He washed his hands six times and hasn’t touched anything ever since.”

“Sorry for worrying about _your daughter_ boss!” He scowls.

“She needs to ger her antibodies reinforced anyway.” I tell him.

“I thought you were going to be one of those moms!” Toni chuckles.

“Meaning?”

“Super cautious of what comes in contact with your daughter. I was totally wrong!”

“Yeah… I mean. We are careful but we also live in a dangerous world. It’s best if she gets used to things now…” Jughead answers for me.

I feel her grip on me loosen and instantly know she’s full. I look up at the guys and raise an eyebrow at them. “Some privacy?”

They jump and instantly turn their back on me muttering things I really don’t understand because they speak one over the other. I shake my head and give Jade to Jug who promptly starts burping her while I fix myself.

“You can watch now… Everything’s covered!” I say aloud chuckling. “You big babies.”

“S-sorry!” They say in unison.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the sight of you holding a baby Jug.” Toni says, a smile on her lips. “Things changed uh?”

“Just a bit.” He smirks moving toward Sweet Pea. He pales suddenly and backs away.

“Uhm… She seems pretty comfy where she is?” He says hiding behind a laughing Veronica.

“You said you wanted to hold her!” Jug says. “Come on uncle Pea… Don’t be a chicken!”

“Ronnie?” Sweet Pea murmurs.

“Oh, come on!” She takes Jade from Jughead and moves toward a chair. “Sit.”

He does what she says and carefully brings her into his arms. She whimpers a little, maybe sensing his discomfort but she settles immediately.

“She’s not that scary…” He mumbles looking down at her.

“No… But I understand. The first time I held her I almost pooped my pants.” Jughead tells him truthfully. “Toni and Cheryl can attest to that.”

“Yes, we can!” Cheryl laughs. “Once you realize she doesn’t break it gets easier.”

I stand slowly and get to the kitchen. “Do you guys want to eat here?”

“Nah we better get home. You still need to heal and relax…”

“It’s not a problem… Jughead will help while you look at Jade.”

“Don’t worry Betts. It’s been a long day… we’re going home for tonight. But thank you for the invitation.” Veronica smiles at me. “Pea? Let’s give the baby back to her parents yeah?”

“She’s so pretty!”

“Yeah, I know Pea but give her back.” She snorts.

He pouts when she takes Jade from his arms and gives her to Jughead. “There.” She smiles down at her sleeping form before taking a step back. “Bon appetit guys. And good night!”

They all file out of our cabin and soon enough we’re left alone.  
Jug is staring at our daughter, unable to put her into the crib. I join him beside the bed and lean my cheek against his shoulder. One of her small fists is wrapped around her dad’s little finger while she sleeps peacefully.  
  
“Let’s eat Juggie. You know we need to take advantage of the time she’s asleep.” I tell him kissing the side of his neck.  
  
He looks down at me, eyes sparkling. “I wish we could have met sooner… you know? Maybe I wouldn’t have done half the things I did back then. I wouldn’t have a huge load of bullshit behind me… How will I explain my life to her when she’s going to ask?”

“Juggie…” I murmur sitting down on the mattress, taking him with me. “She’s barely two weeks old. We have all the time in the world to find a way to explain her everything she’s going to ask. We’ll deal with it… together. Alright?”

He nods and sighs, looking once more at our daughter before putting her down. He covers her with a soft quilt and then moves his eyes back on me.

“You’re right. Sometimes I get overwhelmed too… It’ll be okay, right?”

I stand and hug him tightly. “Yeah Juggie. It’s gonna be perfect.”

He kisses the crown of my head and takes one more deep breath. “Can we eat now?”

I giggle rolling my eyes. “Yeah, yeah we can eat. Help me fix our dinner you insatiable goof.”

He slaps me gently on the but when I pass him by, making me jump and turn back toward him immediately. His hands are raised as if to say _wasn’t me_.

“Keep your hands where I can see them…” I snort. “I’m still not ready for any of _that_!”

“I know.” He smiles joining me into the kitchen. “Don’t worry Betts it’s not a problem. I’m always so tired that I fall asleep the moment my head touches the pillow. We’ll get back to our routine as soon as she has a longer sleeping schedule.”

“I also need to start taking the contraceptive tea. As much as I love Jade… I’m okay with just us three for now.”

“Yeah… We’ll talk about more children when we know how to keep one well fed and alive.”

“We’re doing a good job though, aren’t we?” I ask him while I season some meat with spices and animal fat.

“For first timers? I believe we’re doing an awesome job!” He exclaims bumping his hip against mine, making me giggle.

I love him so much. Even more so now that we have our little family. I was so scared when he started talking about having a baby… I was sure I was meant to fail but in no way or place I could intentionally do anything to hurt my daughter. The need to protect her is stronger than any instinct of self-preservation. If I had to choose between her and me, she would always come first.  
That’s why I really don’t understand my mother’s attitude with me. I wish my father was already here… I have so many things to ask him. So many _whys_. I hope he’ll be here soon. I want Jade to have one grandfather… It’s what she deserves.

*** 

Two days later we’re both reading comfortably on the bed while Jade sleeps between us when we hear something familiar besides the sound of the falling rain.  
Jug stops and looks at me, eyebrows raised high. “Did you hear that too?”

I nod quickly and scramble off the bed, putting my shoes on and looking around for my winter jacket and k-way. The barking was loud and clear. _They’re back!_

“Betts…” Jug calls my name. “Wait. You can’t go out there by yourself!”

“It’s Bob, Juggie! I could recognize his bark everywhere! They’re back!”

“Please… let me contact Toni. She’ll keep an eye on Jade while we go.”

I stare outside the window and back at my daughter’s sleeping form. “Alright. Hurry.”

I hear him take the radio and open a conversation with Toni, she confirms she heard the barking too and that she’ll be over right away. The _right away_ doesn’t come soon enough.  
  
When the door opens, I quickly kiss Jade’s small hand. “I’ll be right back baby.” I murmur before turning toward Toni. “She ate not too long ago so she should be fine for a couple of hours. We’ll be back way sooner but if anything happens contact us. We’ll bring the radio.”

“Don’t worry Betts. We’ll be perfectly fine, me and her.” She smiles while looking down at Jade.

“Juggie are you ready?” I ask him.

“As ready as I’ll ever be!” He exclaims before leaning down and leaving a gentle kiss over her forehead. “Love you baby.”  
  
We leave the house a moment later, his arm wrapped around my shoulders. “We shouldn’t get too far away.”

Another bark resounds around us, much closer than before and I stop on my tracks. The sun has settled, the rain is still falling but my hears are able to catch the rustling around the underbrush.  
  
Bob appears on our left, tongue dangling, fur wet and dirty. I kneel on the ground and let him come to me. “Bob! I’ve missed you so much buddy!”

He yips happily and wiggles his tail at me before jumping around Jughead, nosing his legs. “I’ve missed you too Bobby.”

He turns back toward the direction he came from and barks once again. He doesn’t move, just stares and waits.  
When we hear human voices my heart leaps into my throat and I grab Jug’s hand tightly. The first person I see is Kevin, dirty as much as my dog and panting. Right behind him I see Mika, followed by a man with a bushy beard and salt and pepper hair. For a moment I don’t recognize him, but then he lifts his gaze and I can clearly say it's him.

“He’s that him?” Juggie asks.

I nod quickly, unable to speak, and take a step toward them. He follows right behind and I love him for that.  
Mika and Kevin stand to the side; I smile at her though, thankful for what she did for me and my family.

My father is a completely different man from the one I remembered. His face is littered by wrinkles that weren’t there the last time I saw him.  
He stops in front of us and opens his mouth, as if wanting to say something but closing it right away. He takes his backpack and rummages through it for a while. He produces a small stuffed animal and a photo. He holds them out to me, and I take them in my hands. I am the subject of the photo, probably the one he stared at for so long after he left.  
I don’t know why the words have escaped me… I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t talk nor cry. I’m just staring at my own image and the small stuffed animal while Jug’s hand leaves warm circles over my back.

“I-I wanted to call you…” He stutters. “So many times, but… Your mother threatened me… I wasn’t brave enough to fight her.”

“You left me there…” I whisper. “They treated me like shit…”

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs, voice broken. “I thought I’d lost you…”

I squeeze my eyes shut and take a step toward him, putting a hand over his arm. “We’ll just have to start anew.”

He nods and sighs before looking at Mika and back at me. “She told me the news…”  
  
“I have a daughter.” I tell him right away.

He swallows, eyes shimmering with unshed tears and looks at my husband.

“I’m Jughead Jones.” He says offering his hand. “Nice to meet you sir.”

My dad immediately grabs and shakes it. “You can call me Hal… I don’t have any right to judge my daughter’s life when I left her to fend for herself.”

Jughead nods and shakes it back before glancing at me. “We should get back…”

“Come home with us? We’ll give you a cabin in the morning…”

“I can share.” Mika offers. “I’m sure you already have your hands full…”

I glance back at her and shrug. “Is that okay for you, dad?”

“Yeah… That’s okay.” He murmurs. “C-Can I see her?”

I share a look with my husband, and he nods. “Of course. She was sleeping… Follow us. Mika, Kev… You too if you want.”

Kevin yawns and shakes his head. “I’m too tired to see straight. I’m going to sleep but first thing in the morning I’ll come by. I wanna meet her.”

“Alright…” Jughead nods. “Goodnight. And thanks, Kevin.”

“Goodnight.”

Mika follows us instead. She has to guide my father to her assigned cabin so it seems the right option for her to come with us.

When we get inside Toni is still where we left her, staring down at my sleeping baby. I shed the k-way and jacket, take off my shoes and go to her. “Thanks T. You’re amazing as usual.”

“She slept like an angel. Don’t worry.” She smiles glancing at my dad. “I’m Toni, the doctor and their friend. Nice to meet you.”

My father nods but his eyes are fixated on the crib, brows furrowed in concentration.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, T.” Jughead tells her. “Thank you again.”

“Not a problem. Goodnight.” She squeezes Mika’s arm when she passes her, obtaining a smile from the girl.

I look down at Jade and back at my father. “Come here, dad.”

His steps are unsure but steady and when he joins me a smile forms over his mouth. “She’s beautiful.” He whispers.

“We called her Jade.” Jughead tells him.

“It’s perfect…” He gently brushes a finger over her cheek.

“Can I see her?” Mika asks from behind us.

“Of course, you can.” I agree smiling.

She joins us right away and looks from behind my shoulder. “You were right Hal. She’s beautiful. How old is she?”  
  
“Two weeks… She decided she wanted to see the world a little earlier but she’s perfectly fine.” I tell her staring adoringly at my daughter. “She’s everything I never thought I’d wanted.”

My dad sniffles and drags his hands over his face. “I’ve missed so much. I wish things went differently…”

“I know… You won’t miss her life.” I murmur. “You can make amend by being here for your granddaughter. Alright?”

“I will do everything in my power not to disappoint you or her. I swear.”

“Okay dad.”

“Can I hug you?” He asks, voice still broken.

I nod and throw my arms around him. “I’ve missed you so much dad…”

“I’ve missed you too, honey.”

I detach from him and lean against Jughead. My father looks at him and smiles. “I hope we’ll be able to get to know each other…”

Jug smiles and nods. “We will. We have all the time in the world.”

“Alright…” Mika yawns loudly. “I’m beat. It’s time to go to bed. Hal? You’ll see them in the morning. Let’s go. The couch is waiting for you!”

He chuckles and follows her shaking his head. “See you tomorrow Betty. Jughead… Goodnight.”

When the door closes, I crumble against Jug’s chest. He holds me tight, hushing my sobs and rocking me back and forth.

“It’s okay Betts…”

“I-I… I don’t know w-what to say.” I stutter. “He’s here! I was so excited to meet him but now I feel all the betrayal of being left behind… Is it wrong for me to be angry at him after all this time?”

“It isn’t. It’s perfectly normal. Although it wasn’t his choice, he left you… You have every right to be disappointed.” He murmurs. “Just… Forgiveness is the key to feel better. He’s here now… Don’t waste too much time being angry at him. Alright?”

“I won’t. Thank you Juggie. I love you.”

He leans down and kisses my lips thoroughly before propping his forehead against mine. “I love you too.”

“Can we sleep now?” I ask him quietly.

“Of course, we can.”

We settle under the covers but not even ten minutes later Jade’s little whimpers disrupt the stillness of the place. Jug chuckles slightly before sitting up and taking her from the crib. He holds her over his bent knees.

“Are you hungry sweetie?” He asks nuzzling her belly. She makes a small sound and a gummy smile appears over her pretty face.

“I just think she wanted some attention from her daddy.” I smile tickling one of her kicking feet.

“I believe the smell is telling me something else.” He snorts. “She pooped.”

I laugh falling back against the headboard. “Do you want me to change her?”

“No, let me. Take a nap in the meantime… I’ll bring her back to see if she wants to eat. Alright?”

I snuggle back under the covers and nod. “Alright. Thank you Juggie.”

He moves toward the table and I listen while he gathers the things needed to change and clean her. She makes small sweet noises, sometimes of distress, but never cries. He uses his funny baby voice to try and distract her and soon they’re back on the bed with me.  
I try to feed her, but it seems like the only thing she really wanted was a change of diaper and some cuddles from her daddy… ten minutes later she’s already asleep on her father’s chest.

“I wish I could take a picture of you two right now and never forget this moment.”

“You won’t… We’ll just have to learn how to draw!” He murmurs winking at me.

I roll my eyes and snuggle against his side, hand over Jade's butt. It’s perfect, my little family.


	45. Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why did she hate me?”  
> “She didn’t-”  
> “Dad.” I snap at him. “Don’t think you can lie to me. Not now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MATURE CONTENT BY THE END OF THE CHAPTER

Seven days. That’s how long I go without really speaking with my father. He has come by every single day since he first arrived to see his granddaughter but I can’t find the strength to face him and the past when the present is just so perfect.  
The second day he tried to talk to me, but I asked him to give me some time. I know we’ve been apart for so long but my mind really can’t cope right now.

It’s a beautiful sunny day, still cold but warm enough to put some heavy clothes on my baby girl and strap her to my chest. Toni gave me the okay at the end of the week and so I’ve started to walk around… I want to get my body back. For myself and for my husband. First of all for myself.

I see Juggie working at the pigs’ fence. He’s reinforcing it given the upcoming winter. “Hey…” I call him.

He looks up startled by my presence. “Hey you two! What are you doing outside with this cold?”

“We wanted to come and say hi to daddy.” I smile looking down at our daughter’s smiling face. I know it isn’t really a smile but I still love every single expression she makes. She’s cute even while she poops.

“Who am I to say no to you two?” He stands and comes toward us. “Can I give you a kiss?”

“Who are you asking?” I smirk, eyebrow raised.

“Mommy, of course. Then baby!”

I snort and lean over the fence to leave a kiss over his lips. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know I am.” He kisses Jade’s forehead and sighs. “How are things with your father today?”

“I think it’s time for me to have a chat with him… I was thinking of going over to him with Jade. If she’s there I won’t risk to get lost in the past.

“Alright. Do you need my help?

“I think I’m going to be okay but thank you Juggie.”

He looks down at our daughter, taking one of her socked feet in between his hands. “Take care of mommy alright?”

She makes a small sound while she stares up at her dad; we can’t help but laugh. “That’s exactly what I meant baby!” He exclaims nuzzling her cheek.

“She’s my bodyguard.” I chuckle. “I’m gonna go Jug. See you at home for dinner?”

“Yep. Contact me if you need me. Don’t be stubborn!”

“I won’t!” I shout.

I know my dad is somewhere by the stream with Kevin, so I follow the track to reach them. Kevin is sitting by the bank waiting for I don’t know what with my dad standing beside him.

Jade makes a small sound alerting them both of our presence. “Hey” I murmur. “Uhm… could we talk?”

My dad looks briefly at Kevin who shrugs and nods. “Go to your family. I wouldn’t stay away from that sweet face either if I could!”  
  
“Kev you know you can come by anytime you want!” I snort. “Don’t be so dramatic! You’re family too.”

The first time he saw her he cried for fifteen minutes straight, I’m not even kidding. He held her then, murmuring sweet things and tickling her belly. He's already an amazing uncle. Sweet Pea cried too while he sat immobile on a chair and stared at the two days old human as if she were an alien. Then he explained how he couldn’t believe something so perfect could ever exist at the same time as his. Veronica had hugged him to her chest and let him cry. These boys are all so very broken. Jughead was right… Jade is making everything better, for every single one of us. Not just me and him.

And Jade has had my dad wrapped around her little fingers right from the first time she looked up at him and showed him her gums.

When he joins us, he smiles at my daughter and my heart melts at the sweet expression on his face. I know he’s a good man and that, somehow, he has always been. He had just lost his way for a while…

“Can we take a walk?” I ask him quietly.

“Yeah, sure.” He nods gesturing with one hand. “Lead the way, Betty.”

“Thanks…”  
  
We move along the riverbank while I’m trying to put some order to my jumbled thoughts.

“How is she?” He asks suddenly.

“Perfect… She got a bit fussy the other night but Jughead was able to calm her.”

He chuckles. “I remember when you were this little, you were as good as her. Always quiet and curious… When you cried, Alice wasn’t really patient enough to calm you down. I was the man for the job. You were such a daddy’s girl…”

“Why did she hate me?”

“She didn’t-”

“Dad.” I snap at him. “Don’t think you can lie to me. _Not now._ ”

He sighs. “I don’t know what happened to her… She loved Polly. She was so kind and caring. A bit oppressive maybe, but… she never acted with her like she did with you.”

“Didn’t she want me?”

“You were a surprise…”

“So, she didn’t want me.” I murmur, my heart breaking for the millionth time.

“She loved you… in her own way.”

“Did she want to get rid of me?”

“No! Never! I swear.” His eyes are big and sincere.

I look down at my daughter’s kicking feet and sigh. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I thought she was depressed… that she couldn’t get attached to you for some reason, but I don’t know, Betty… She started saying that you ruined her life, she wanted to work and her idea of family has always been me, her and a daughter, not two.”

“Why did you leave without me then?”

“She threatened me… I-I got scared…” He stutters stopping in front of me. Jade looks up at him and makes a small sound of happiness.

“I can’t say I regret the fact that you left me there. I wouldn’t have what I have now…”

“I regret all of it though. I was miserable at the thought of you in that house…”

“Yeah well, my life has been miserable up until more or less a year ago.” I mutter moving past him.

“A year?”

“Yeah.”

“Where did you meet Jughead?” He asks after a bit.

“I met Kevin first. He saved me during one of the last earthquakes. Then he brought me to his camp where I met everyone else.”

“You’ve been with Jughead for a bit more than a year?”.

I huff and turn back toward him. “Yes. You wouldn’t understand.”

He scrubs his face. “Try me, please.”

“I don’t need your judgment, dad.”

“I don’t want to judge you, Betty. I thought you were with him since the very beginning.”

“No.”

“And so?”

“We couldn’t stay away from one another… It’s complicated.” I sigh. “We’re soulmates.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“No.” I frown. “I was the one who _approached_ him, dad.”

He swallows and turns beet red. “I don’t wanna hear. Please!”

“It’s the truth.”

“Okay. So, you’re soulmates. What does that mean?”

I give him a look and bite my lip, unsure. “Can you take her for a moment?”

“Of course.” He holds his arms out and I detach her from me.

“Try to keep an open mind…” I murmur while I lift my jacket and shirt. “I couldn’t believe it either, at first…”

When he sees the mark, his raises his eyebrows in surprise. “What is it?”

“It’s a soulmate mark. It started to come out on both of us when we first met… In the beginning staying away from him was unbearable. Same for him. He got hurt some time ago, and I felt his pain… We’re able to control ourselves now but it’s a connection we really can’t put aside. If I want him to feel what I do, he's going to feel it and vice-versa. Veronica… she had a soulmate before everything went to hell, he died soon after and a part of her died with him. _I can’t_ think about losing him… the thought destroys me.”

“Okay…” He murmurs brushing some of Jade’s hair away from her forehead. “Okay. I- I don’t understand… I mean, I didn’t know something like this existed.”

“I didn’t know either…”

“When did she happen?”

“We wanted her. Jug felt the need to do something good. At first, I didn’t want to. Given the example my mother gave me I believed I wasn’t fit to be a mom. I needed to get better, get her ghost out of my mind… It almost destroyed us, _almost_ … He asked me to be his wife soon after we talked and the rest I believe you can imagine.”

“Yeah… Yeah. I don’t need the details.”

He smiles at me, shuffling on his feet. “Do you want her back?”

I shrug. “You can hold her; I have her all the time. She needs to know you. I know that I’ve been a pain in the ass this past week but I think I need some time to get used to _this_.”

“I know.” He mutters. “I’m sorry Betty…”

“I just wish I knew why you left me there. Wasn’t I enough for you to fight for? Why didn’t you take a risk?” My voice trembles.

He swallows. “She was capable of everything, Betty. I couldn’t stand the situation anymore… She threatened me and I was afraid of the things she could do. She said that if I took you with me, she would have found a way to destroy me and put you into an orphanage. She wouldn’t have taken you back.”

The tears I was holding back so difficulty, fall. “I-I understand…”

“I’m sorry… I was weak…”

“I can’t deny that. It would be a lie…” I sniffle. “But… It wasn’t completely your fault.”

He hugs Jade to himself before giving her back to me. “I’ll make it up to you…”

“I know you will… I need some time but I won’t shut you out anymore.” I tell him while I strap my daughter back to my chest.

“Thank you, Betty. I’ll give you all the time you need…”

“Time is precious…” I murmur. “That’s what Jug has taught me. We can’t waste it. So… I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He brushes a tear away and nods. “Yeah. Every time you want!”

I hug him sideways. “Would you like to walk us back home?”

“It’d be an honor.” He smiles leaving a kiss over my forehead.

My heart loses a beat. _Dad._

*** 

After dinner we put Jade in her crib and look at her sleepy form for a while, in silence…

“Sometimes I’m so scared to mess up…” Jug whispers.

“What do you mean?”

“What if she cries for a reason and I can’t understand what she needs? What if she gets sick for it?”

“We need to stay positive and Juggie, you are an amazing daddy! I know you don’t need me to tell you this…” I make him look at me.

“I know… She’s just so important to me that the thought of messing up destroys me.”

“If something happens, we’ll deal with it. Alright?”

“Yeah, sorry. You’re right, as usual.”

“I know.” I smile up at him.

He sits on the bed, taking me with him. “How did it go with your dad?”

I sigh and snuggle into his side. “Good. I think we’re gonna be okay… in time. I told him about our _peculiarity_ … I had to, Juggie. He couldn’t fathom how our daughter arrived so soon after having met. I mean… he could but he got the wrong idea.”

“You told him about us being soulmates?”

“Yeah, I had to…”

“Okay, okay… He believed I had dragged you into my web?”

I snort. “Kinda. I shut him up immediately by telling him _I_ was the one to drag you into my web.”

“My brave wife…” He smirks kissing my lips.

We kiss for a while, slowly and passionately and I can’t help but groan into his mouth. I wrench myself away from him. “We need to stop!”

“Why?” He pants. “I love kissing you.”

“I know but I can’t have you like I wish, and it frustrates me. _A lot!_ ”

He chuckles and turns on his side, looking down at me. A smirk drawn over his lips. “I just wanna kiss you…”

I push him away slightly, rolling my eyes. “You’re incorrigible!”

But then I move up a little, brushing my mouth over his neck. It gets hot and heavy pretty quickly after that. He’s gentle and respectful of the fact that I’m still healing while all I want is to make him feel good.

“I want to make you come.” I whisper into his hear.”

He shivers under my touch. “That’s something I didn’t expect to hear…”

“It’s not the first time I made you come…” I tell him languidly.

“Not with our daughter a few feet away from us…” He moans when I suck a hickey into his neck.

“She’s asleep…” I push him onto his back and straddle him. “She won’t mind…”

“If you insist…” He closes his eyes and lets me do what I want.

I push his sweatshirt up over his chest and unfasten the string holding up his pants. “These need to be taken off.”

He helps me while he looks down at me. His pupils are so dilated that the black has almost completely replaced the blue of the iris.  
The need to make him feel good is so strong that a thought enters my mind in a flash, making me blush.

“Nothing you haven’t seen already…” He smirks panting.

I shrug, avoiding his gaze and I kiss his chest. His hands find my hips and if I could I’d probably throw everything to the wind and fuck him.  
Since I can’t… I try to shush that part of me that still tries to rebel against this and start kissing him down his stomach. He shivers and throws his head back, moaning.  
  
When my lips reach the waistband of his boxers he moves up on his elbows. “W-what are you doing?”

“Hush… Let me…”

“B-Betty… You don’t n-need to…”

“I want to! Just… Tell me when you’re going to come?”

He nods quickly but doesn’t lay back down.  
I free him from his underwear, my hands tremble but I don’t want to overthink this. So I just take him and do what I’ve never done before.  
It’s strange, that I can tell, but when I look up and see the expression of extasy on his face something inside of me flames up and I moan. He falls back down, grabbing the covers tightly into his fists.  
  
“I-I’m not sure w-what to do…” I murmur after a moment. My cheeks burn.

“T-that was… okay!” He stutters. “Just… hollow your cheeks and don’t use your teeth.”

I giggle. “I imagined… Tell me if I do something wrong. Okay?”

He nods and closes his eyes. “Don’t worry… Thinking about what you’re doing is already enough.”

I take him back into my mouth and let my intuition take control. The part of him that I’m not able to swallow is covered by one of my hands; I’m trying to do what I would have never done before and it’s arousing, somehow. Seeing his face contorted into an expression of pleasure and knowing that _I am the one who’s making him feel this good_ makes me tingle all over.

I try to read him; try to understand what he likes the most. I know where he is the most sensitive though, so when I wrap my lips around his head and suck, I should have expected his reaction. He moans loudly and puts one of his hands against the back of my neck.

“Fuck, Betts…”

I keep going and going and going. Until he grabs my shoulders and pushes me off. “I’m going to come.” He pants. “You need to stop…”

I grab him with my hand, groaning at the feeling of his hardness against my palm and then I keep pleasuring him. He holds his eyes on me all the time, even when he comes. I see his pupils get even darker right when a small moan leaves his lips.

“Holy fuck…”

“Was that okay?”

“That… was _more than okay!_ ” He says, his breath still ragged.

“Good…” I blush getting off the bed to clean myself and grab a towel for him. I look down at Jade when I pass beside her; she’s still sleeping soundly, our moment hasn’t disturbed her at all.

“Why did you change your mind?” He asks quietly while he fixes himself.

“I wanted to make you feel good and… I don’t know. I just _wanted to._ ”

His eyes are fixed on me, unmoving. Unnerving me.

“W-what?” I murmur feeling my cheeks get even hotter at the intensity of his stare.

“Nothing…” He smiles. “I love that you feel confident enough to let yourself go now…”

“You helped me a lot. And Jade did the rest…”

“Our little miracle.” He smiles before yawning and getting more comfortable on the bed. “Come here, I’ll give you a massage. It’s the least I can do after _that performance…_ ”

I roll my eyes and lie down on my stomach. “Such a guy! Get to work hubby. You got your relaxation time, I need mine.”

He chuckles and sits on my legs. “Whatever you need…”

“An orgasm would be what I need. Unfortunately… that’s out of option so a massage will have to do.”

He leans down and whispers into my hear. “Soon baby, soon."


	46. Christmas Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s gotten you so moody this morning? It’s Christmas! Our first Christmas together with Jade…”  
> “I’m not moody… I’m just feeling nostalgic for when she’ll be all grown up and she won’t need us anymore…”  
> He chuckles and kisses my forehead. “She’s three months old, we’ve got time to worry about that.”  
> “I know… yet, I can’t help but feel sad about it.”  
> “We’ll just have to keep having babies!” He smiles down at me and I roll my eyes.

When Christmas comes, I feel like everything has finally fallen into the right place. The relationship with my dad is almost restored even though it’s something we need to work on day after day.  
On more happier tones my baby is three months old. I wake up in the morning with Jughead still sleeping by my side. I look at his features; he’s so relaxed now, no more pouty lips or worried wrinkles over his forehead.  
Jade’s soft whimpers resounds around the room. I stand up quietly, trying not to wake my husband. Our daughter immediately smiles up at me when she sees me and lets out a happy whine.

“Hush baby girl.” I tell her softly, taking her from her crib. “Let’s try not to wake your daddy up.”

She snuggles into my chest while I settle back on the bed and I lean against the headboard. I hold her against my bent knees and give her my hands to play with. She’s a very good baby… maybe she understands we have very little to live with.

She’s gotten so big already, I’m not sure I’m ready to see her grow up and don’t depend on me anymore. I know I have to get used to the idea but… It’s still hard. For now I’ll pretend she’s going to be this little forever.

“That’s a beautiful sight to wake up to…” Jug murmurs into the pillow.

Jade turns her head toward him and lets out a high-pitched squeal. Her feet kicking in the air, arms moving instantly toward him.

“Good morning to you too daddy.” I smile at him, looking for a kiss.

He presses him mouth against mine and sits with his back against the headboard too. “Do you wanna come to daddy?”

Jade makes another sound and wiggles into my arms. I chuckle and pass her to him; she immediately wraps her small fingers around his, her big clear eyes settled on his face. She adores him and I love it. They have such a beautiful bond… I love spending my time looking at them interacting. It’s clear, the love they have for each other.

I sigh, leaning my head over his shoulder and stare at Jade.

“What’s gotten you so moody this morning? It’s Christmas! Our first Christmas together with Jade…”

“I’m not moody… I’m just feeling nostalgic for when she’ll be all grown up and she won’t need us anymore…”

He chuckles and kisses my forehead. “She’s three months old, we’ve got time to worry about that.”

“I know… yet, I can’t help but feel sad about it.”

“We’ll just have to keep having babies!” He smiles down at me and I roll my eyes.

“We’ll see.” The thought has crossed my mind once or twice. I know what I’ve said while I was in labor with her… But now it seems so stupid. I know it hurt but… the thought of not having anymore children doesn’t suit well with me. _I want_ to have more children. That’s for sure.

“What are you thinking about?”

“That I want her to have siblings… I know what I said while I was in labor but… I don’t want her to be an only child.”

He turns his head toward me, eyes wide and surprised. “Really? Are you sure?”

“I am a hundred percent sure, Juggie.”

He kisses me quickly before looking back at our daughter and tickling her tummy. “Did you hear that, Jadey? You’re going to have a little brother or sister some day!”

She giggles, her blue eyes sparkling. She’s her father’s mini me. If it weren’t for the hair no one would be able to tell she’s my daughter.

“What are we gonna do this morning?”

“Have some quiet time for ourselves till we can. We have lunch with our family today…”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll need to help the girls… I know Toni and Cheryl insisted to prepare everything but I feel bad!”

“Let them do what they want… Come on Betts, let’s have this first Christmas to ourselves. Look at this sweet little face! She’s begging you to stay!”

I snort and shake my head. “Alright, alright. Just because she so clearly begged me not to go.”

“Good! Aren’t you happy Jade? Mom is going to spend all the morning with us!”

She squeals happily. “Of course she’s happy. Our happy girl…” I murmur taking one of her feet into my hand.

“I have a surprise for the both of you… It’s Christmas after all.”

“Jug… What are you talking about?”

He gives me Jade and moves off the bed. “Wait here? I need to step into the basement for a moment.”

“Alright… I’m going to feed her in the meantime…”

I listen while he scrambles down the stairs. Jade latches onto my nipple immediately, loving the bond between the two of us. It’s our quiet moment and I’m glad I’m able to share it with her.

Jughead turns back five minutes later, Jade is still sucking… lost in her world made of milk and cuddles. He sits beside us and observes while I feed her. “Damn! She was hungry… Totally my daughter.”

I chuckle looking down at her. “Yep. Definitely!”

“That's a good girl! You need to grow big and strong.” He strokes her back appraisingly, eyes full of love.

“So, what did you get us??” I ask him cheekily. “I wanna see now!”

He gives me a small object wrapped around an old clothe. “It’s not much… I mean. I tried!”

“I’m sure I’m gonna love it, whatever it is.”

Jade stops her sucking and I give her to him so that I can fix myself and take the small package he prepared for me.  
He burps her while I unwrap it. When the clothe falls onto my knees I have to blink my eyes a couple of times. In my hands lays a small piece of wood made into a locket and inside there’s a beautiful drawing of the three of us. I touch our daughter’s small face, awed.

“How did you…?”

“Do you like it?” He asks, his cheeks tinted red.

“Jug I love it!” I launch myself at him, mindful of our daughter still in his arms and hug him. I kiss his lips. “You made this?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, I made the locket with your father’s help. He can manipulate the wood however he wants.”

“I know…” I murmur softly. “He’s always been handy… What about the drawing?”

“Turns out that Mika is pretty good with a pen and some paper…”

“I love it… This is perfect.” I feel my eyes water at the thought. “I didn’t make you anything Juggie…”

“Nonsense! You gave me our daughter… That’s more than enough to last me a lifetime!”

I smile at him and look down at our quiet baby. “Without you she wouldn’t be here you know…”

“Yeah I know but you did the job…”

“I might be crazy then… for wanting to do that again.” I chuckle. “You know… I kinda forgot the pain of birth. I mean, I know I felt awful but the rest is pretty foggy.”

“We’re not in hurry.” He tells me softly. “I mean… we’re pretty okay as we are right now. We’ve got all the time in the world Betts.”

“Yeah I know… I just want them to be close in age. I want them to have that complicity…”

“Alright… How close in age?”

“Are you getting cold feet?” I smirk.

“Don’t be crazy.” He snorts. “I want to be prepared.”

“Maybe we could start trying when she’s around six or seven months? Without pressure…”

“Okay!” He smiles. “That’s a plan!”

“Do you think we’ll be able to keep a bunch of kids alive?”

“What are you talking about? Of course we’ll be able to! Look how good we’re doing with Jade!”

“Yeah… We’re pretty awesome.”

He puts her on her back over the covers and tickles her stomach. She squeals and wiggles around, her toes pointing up toward the ceiling. She’s so cute I almost can’t stand it.

“What did you get her?”

“Your father helped with her present too.” He says standing up and getting to the big box.

“Where did you even find that box?”

“It’s one of the few we used to bring the books home from the Store.”

I take Jade into my arms and sit on the ground beside him, in front of the fireplace. I even tried to decorate it with pine-tree branches to have the typical Christmas atmosphere. “Why don’t you open it for her?”

When he takes out a beautiful rocking horse made out of wood I feel like crying once again. “It’s not perfect but it’s very smooth. She won’t get hurt…”

“Jug! It’s amazing! Look Jade! Do you like it?” Her eyes go wide and she kicks her little legs.

“She won’t be able to use it for a while but I wanted to make something she could cherish with time. I don't really like the one we took from the store...”

“She’s going to like this so much Juggie!” I reassure him. “Look! She’s already attracted to it!”

He sighs and stamps a couple of kisses over her forehead. “I love you baby girl. So much.”

My heart beats faster.

*** 

With us and Jade all bundled up, we leave the cabin to make our very first snowman as a family. I mean… Jug makes it while we give him instruction.  
Bob comes running toward us at some point. Lately we decided it was best if he stayed with Sweet Pea and Veronica; he’s a bit too impetuous for little Jade. She’s very fascinated by him but her grabby hands aren’t the best thing for the both of them.  
He barks when he sees me and tries to jump on me like he used too. Jade squeals in my arms and kicks her feet, excited to see her furry friend.

“Down boy… Come here!” Jug calls him. He immediately changes direction and jumps on my husband.

“Betts!” I turn toward the voice and see Toni by the door of her cabin. “You’re coming for lunch right?”

“How could we miss it? Do you need help?”

“Nope! Cheryl is doing her job perfectly!” She laughs when a rug comes flying at her head. “I’m going back in before she burns something! See you in a couple of hours!”

I chuckle when I hear Cheryl shout something at her that I really can’t understand.  
  
Jade sneezes and I panic. “Juggie I think it’s best if we bring her inside.”

He shrugs off the snow from his pants and comes toward us, touching her cheeks. “Yeah, she’s getting cold.”

“Bob, go back home okay? We’ll see you in a little while!” I tell him while Jug scratches him behind his ears.

I watch as he runs toward Sweet Pea and V’s cabin. “Sometimes I feel bad for making him live with them and not us… Do you think he hates me?” I ask him as we get inside.

He closes the door and immediately goes to revive the fire. “He’s always with us anyways Betts. He’s a good dog but we can’t risk it with her while she’s this little.”

“Yeah, I know… I just feel bad.” I murmur while I undress our daughter and sit in front of the fire with her. She cuddles into my chest and yawns. “She’s tired…”

“I’ll put her to sleep… Get undressed in the meantime.” He takes her from me leaving a kiss on my lips. “Don’t worry too much.”

“I’ll try.” I smile up at him.

*** 

Getting ready for our very first Christmas lunch as a family is as exciting as it gets. Jade is all fussy while I try to put her into a pair of warm white stockings and a wool red dress. I’m glad Toni decided to take something cute for her… She deserves her frilly clothes.

“Why so fussy baby?” I ask her sweetly. She grabs my hands and whimpers. “Juggie I think there’s something wrong… She’s never been so whiney. Maybe we shouldn’t have brought her outside…”

He joins me on the bed. “Do you want me to go get Toni?”

“She’s cooking… We’ll bring her there in a little while.” I murmur. “But… could you please go to my dad? He’s gone through this twice…”

Jade starts screaming then and my heart breaks. I take her into my arms and hold her close but she doesn’t stop.

“I’ll go. Be right back.” He says quickly. He leaves the house without the jacket. If I weren’t so worried for my daughter I would have yelled at him.

“Hush, sweetie, hush…” I walk around the room while I wait for my dad and Jug to come back. “What do you feel? What can I do?”

The panic is closing my throat. There’s nothing I can do, really.  
When the door opens I sigh with relief.  
  
“Betts?” My dad asks. “What is it?”

“I-I don’t know… we brought her outside earlier and she sneezed. And now she won't stop crying…”

They both come toward us. My dad takes her from my arms, swinging her right and left gently, and touches her skin. “She’s not warm… Shouldn’t be the cold. Has she pooped today?”

I look at Jug and raise my eyebrows. “Did she?”

“She hasn’t. Yesterday neither.”

“That’s the reason then.” Dad tells us. “She’s finding it difficult to poop. She’s gonna be fine as soon as she does her business.”

“What if she does get sick?” I murmur. “We don’t have enough medicines…”

“We have enough for her.” Jug tells me. “She comes before everyone else.”

“Okay…”

“Betty it’s okay…” My dad tries to comfort me while he hugs his crying niece.

“I feel like I’m being ripped into a million pieces!” I exclaim. “How are you not being affected by this?” I ask Jug.

“I am… But you need my help right now.” He takes my shoulders, making me look up at him. “She’s okay.”

I bite my lip and nod, hiding my face into the crook of his neck. Right then the room goes quiet and my dad chuckles.

“Now you’re smiling? You almost made your mom go crazy!” He chuckles. “I think my job has been done here. By the smell coming from this little girl I’d say she’s perfectly okay now!”

I laugh and lean my head against Jug’s chest. “Sorry dad…”

“It’s okay… Whenever you need me, call me.” He passes her to me. “See you in a bit. Take your time.”

I look down at my daughter’s face and shake my head. “You’re silly. And now daddy is going to change you.”

“Of course I am.” He snorts taking her from me. “Come here baby girl… I’m going to take care of you while mommy gets dressed.”

I laugh when I hear him choke on his breath and mutter something in the line of _that’s a lot of poop for a small thing like you!_ She does poop a lot.

While he cares of her I try to find something nice to wear. I know I don’t need to dress up… But I did take a couple of cute dresses while I was at the store. I get upstairs and find my set of lingerie. It’s been so long since the last time I’ve worn it… I want to do something for Jughead after all the things he did for me. So, I put it on and hide it under a black long-sleeved shirt and a black dress made of soft wool. I wear my thermal tights and complete the look with my winter boots. That’s it. Nothing special but nice enough.  
  
“We need you mommy!” I hear Jug call me from downstairs. “These tights aren’t really my thing, baby.”

I snort and roll my eyes. “I’ll be right there.” I take a deep breath and smooth the wool of the dress against the curves of my body. The baby weight is almost completely gone… I’m just self-conscious sometimes.  
  
I get downstairs and stop in front of Jughead, preoccupied with the hard task of straightaning the tights on Jade. “How do I look?”

He looks up and stares. “Where does that come from?”

“From the store, I wanted something cute… Do you like it?”

“You’re amazing…” His eyes are soft when he says it. “Really, you’re perfect. I hope you know it.”

“I’m still not confident of my body but… Hearing you say that to me is comforting.” I tell him sitting on the bed beside him. “Let me, go wash that diaper before we get the covers all dirty.”

“She pooped like an elephant Betts! You should have seen!”

I push the stockings up her wiggling legs and chuckle at her when she pouts a little. “Hush. We’re almost done baby. You can’t go out there butt naked! You’re gonna get sick…”

“I was thinking…” I tell Jughead when he comes back. “What do you say if we take this night for ourselves?”

“You mean… Leave her with your dad?”

I shrug. “Yeah… Just until morning. I would love to spend the night with you.”

“We can spend it together anyway… We don’t need to leave her with your dad.”

“I know… I just want to spend one night with you like we used to.” I look up at him after having dressed her with her warm coat and hat.

He smirks, taking a glance at Jade. “Okay. Do you think he’s going to agree?”

“He loves her. Of course he will. We’ll take the baby carriage with us…”

His eyes sparkle and something inside of me flutters. I can’t wait to have him all for myself.

*** 

When we sit at the table and start eating, one thing comes to my eyes; everyone is chatting and laughing, my daughter is sitting on the highchair between me and her daddy. On my other side sits my father, _my father!_ Veronica and Sweet Pea are bickering among themselves for a piece of meat… But as I said, there’s one thing that comes to my eyes: we’re happy, we’re at peace after the end of the world as we knew it. The past is gone, the sadness has vanished… no more tears, no pain, no self-harm.

I had no one before the world ended. I was alone.  
Then I found Bob, who’s actually munching on a bone beside the fireplace; Kevin found me, and his group took me in. I found my soulmate, my husband, and I have a daughter. We have every intention of expanding the family… My father is here, with us.  
I had no one and now I have a family. A family that I wasn’t born into but that I chose. They chose me and I chose them.

I’m finally living a life worth fighting for.


	47. Bittersweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If- If I admit I love him… I feel like I’m betraying my past love.”  
> “That’s not true and you know it. It won’t ever be the same kind of love…”  
> She sighs and stares into the distance. “You’re right.”  
> “I know I am…” I smile nudging her with my shoulder. “I am a mom.”  
> She laughs wetly. “Yeah, you are. And a damn good one too…”  
> “I’m trying…” I shrug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be the last chapter before the Epilogue! I'm a little bit saddened to see this story end but it was time. Their journey has come full circle. Hope you liked it!  
> I know… my first story, many mistakes and probably some plot holes. Once it's completed I'll get back to it and try to make it better! Feedback is always accepted! It's the only way for me to understand if what I did was good or not!

TWO YEARS LATER.

“Jade! Come here you little monkey!” I hear Jug shout. I can’t help but laugh.

“N-nno!” Promptly arrives her answer before exclaiming. “Peee!”  
  
I look up at my daughter as she quickly runs right into Sweet Pea’s legs. “Munchkin!”

She giggles uncontrollably when he makes her fly up in the air, my stomach flips upside down. “Careful with the treasure Pea!” Jug tells him when he reaches them.

“Don’t worry boss. I won’t let her fall!” He gives her to him straight away and ruffles her blonde curls. “How’s Betty?”

“Okay… Tired but okay.” Jug tells him looking back at me.

I wave at him from my position on the rocking chair right outside the cabin. My dad started making it when I told him we were trying for another baby… almost a year and a half ago. Things didn’t go exactly as we wished. Try as we might… the baby we so wanted didn’t seem to come. Every month for six months my period came back as punctual as a clock.  
It wasn’t easy, seeing my little girl grow up and realizing I wasn’t able to conceive as easily as the first time. I thought there was something wrong with me… I convinced myself that maybe that was it. I had all the happiness I deserved.

For months I felt like I was living in a bubble. Smiling when my daughter was with me and trying to understand what was wrong with me the rest of the time. Jughead was worried, just like everyone else. My dad tried to comfort me any way he could but I felt like I was failing myself.  
One afternoon Jughead made me snap out of it. He brought me to our pond and made me scream as loud as I could. My throat went raw, but it did help… I cried for hours while he held me in his arms.

_“It’s going to be okay, Betts. You have us… Jade is here!”_

_“I-I w-wanted more…” I sobbed, my chest hurting. “W-what is wrong with me?”_

_“Nothing’s wrong, love. Nothing’s wrong. Maybe we should just… stop trying. For a while.”_

_“I w-want a-another baby, J-Juggie…” I whimpered into his chest._

_“It’ll come Betts! Just… Not right now.” He spoke softly into my ear._

__  
I cried so much that day. I cried and cried until I fell asleep into his arms, exhausted.  
The next day I woke up in bed, Jade babbling into her father’s arms and munching on her fist. All I remember from that moment was realizing how lucky I was. My own little family was sitting right there, and I couldn’t lose any more time…

Now, more than a year later I’m here… sitting on the rocking chair my dad made for me, holding our newest addition; another little girl, Ella. She’s one week old and she’s perfect. Just like Jade was when she was born.  
When she came out and we realized our baby was another girl we cried and laughed because Jug was going to be outnumbered. He wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. That’s what he said.

“Hey you.” Jug’s voice takes me out of my thoughts. Jade’s arms are wrapped around his neck.

“Hey to you two…” I murmur quietly. My sleeping baby wiggles in the crook of my arms but doesn’t wake up.

Jade turns toward me. “’Lla!” She exclaims when she sees her sister.

“She’s sleeping, baby.” Jug kisses her cheek and she snuggle into his arms. “Are you tired?”

She shakes her head no but still puts her thumb into her mouth and pets her dad’s shoulder.

“Let’s go inside… We’ll put them both to bed so we can enjoy some time by ourselves. What do you say?” Jughead asks.

“Okay… I’m up to it.”

With the pillows of the couch we were able to make a small bed for Jade, with headboard and sides made from wood, while Ella sleeps in her sister’s old crib. For now, we’re okay… but it’s getting everyday a bit more difficult… It’s clear that Jade is going to need a big girl bed and much more room. So, the project is to scout the valley and try to find a place… maybe an old farm where we could live. Usually they’re large enough for a family as big as ours.  
We know that we’d have to start anew… but we have everything we need now and enough gas in the truck to bring us to our new destination.

Once our girls are well asleep, we step outside. Jug sits on the rocking chair before dragging me onto his knees, making me giggle.

“Isn’t this perfect?” He murmurs. “We just had to be patient…”

“I know… It is perfect.”

“And as soon we’ll get to our new home, everything will fall in an even better place. Do you believe me?”

“I do.” I kiss his lips. “When are we going to leave?”

“As soon as _and if_ Kevin and Fangs will be back with good news. We don’t know how long it’s gonna take…”

A little over three weeks ago they decided to leave and look for a place for us to live in. Jughead wanted to go, he said he wanted to provide for his family. We fought for this reason for many days but then I started to bleed and we both got scared to death. Toni got so angry with him that he sat on a chair and said nothing until he was sure everything was okay. After that he talked with Fangs who promptly decided to go. Kevin offered to follow.

So now we’re waiting for them to come back.

“Do you think we’ll be able to start anew?”

“Yeah I believe we’ll be able to do everything we want. We’ll take our animals with us and everything we need for the children. Food, seeds, water… everything we could need. We fill the trunk with what we took from the Store and more.”

“We had just started to produce our own bread…” I murmur. “It’s gonna take some time before we’ll be able to have the wheat.”

“We did it once, we’ll do it again Betts.”

“I’m gonna miss this place…” I murmur into his neck. “We’re going to leave behind many memories…”

“We’ll make new ones…”

I smile and nod. “You’re right. I’m just getting emotional…”

“I know Betts.” He kisses my forehead and sighs. “How are you feeling today?”

“Better… She’s a bit fussier than Jade. Our first was an angel compared to Ella.”

He chuckles. “Must have taken from me. Troublemaker through and through!”

I laugh and say nothing. He’s right. Ella is her father’s mini me. I said the same thing with Jade but temperamentally she’s the exact same copy of her daddy. She looks like me, aside from her dark hair, and that’s it. She’s all Jug.  
Veronica walks toward us with Bob by her side, it’s getting dark outside; the light is feeble but there’s still visibility.

“Hey guys!”

“Veronica…” Jug welcomes her. “What are you doing here?”

Bob leans his head against my leg in search of a good scratch. He’s not feeling so well, a couple of months ago he hurt his leg and ever since then he never got back to his old self.

“Just wanted to come by and say hi.” She smiles. “How’s the newest addition to the family?”

“She’s asleep and perfectly fine.” I tell her. “Her daddy’s mini me.”

“Happy to hear that!” She laughs fidgeting. “Betty could we talk for a moment? Just you and me?”

“Yeah of course! Jug I’ll be right back… if Ella wakes up call me. Alright?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her.” He kisses my cheek and lets me go.

*** 

“So…” I prod Veronica once I realize she's stalling. “What is it that you wanted to tell me?”

We sit on a bench the guys made some time ago. “I think… My mark is fading. Completely.”

I look at her distraught expression, my heart breaks for her. “Can I see?” I murmur.

She lifts the sleeve of her shirt up to her shoulder and shows me what appears to be a healing bruise on the underside of her arm. “I don’t know why… It was my last link to Archie…”

I put an arm around her and squeeze her to my side for a moment. “I’m sorry V…”

She shrugs sniffling. “Maybe it’s better this way… Out of sight, out of mind… right?”

“I wouldn’t want it to fade… But yeah, maybe it’s the right thing for you to go on with your life. What do you think he would have wanted for you?”

“To live… wholeheartedly.” She whispers leaning her head against me.

I bite my lip, unsure. “V… Do you love Sweet Pea?”

She freezes into my embrace. “I can’t think about loving someone else!”

“V…”

“I can’t! If loving Sweet Pea means forgetting Archie, then I don’t want to!” She snaps, eyes filling with tears.

“Veronica… Archie isn’t here anymore! He’d want for you to go on with your life, you told me so just a moment ago!”

She bursts into tears, my heart breaking even more. “I-I k-know… I know! I just hate the fact that he died like that…”

“He’s with you, always. Even if the mark is fading… he’s always gonna be a part of you. Don’t deny yourself the possibility of loving someone who _clearly_ loves you with his whole heart…”

“If- If I admit I love him… I feel like I’m betraying my past love.”

“That’s not true and you know it. It won’t ever be the same kind of love…”

She sighs and stares into the distance. “You’re right.”

“I know I am…” I smile nudging her with my shoulder. “I am a mom.”

She laughs wetly. “Yeah, you are. And a damn good one too…”

“I’m trying…” I shrug. “Every day I discover something new. I’m learning how to be a good mom… You have to find out how to let go of the past and embrace the present. I had to do that too, remember?”

“Yeah, you were a mess…”

“I was more than a mess. I was… almost unsalvageable. Jughead turned my life upside down, all of you. Well, it was a team effort.”

She smiles. “I do love him…” She murmurs. “I’m just scared of admitting it.”

“You just did…”

“Yeah…” She keeps smiling. “Guess I did…”

“You just have to find the courage to tell him now…”

“That’s something that makes me sweat profusely… But I’ll try.”

I hug her tightly. “Good. I’m glad, V.”

“Thank you for the help… I’ll let you get back to your family now.”

“Don’t worry. I’m here if you need me…”

We leave our spot and start walking back to my cabin. I can see Bob sleeping by the steps while Jug looks up at the leafy branches, arms crossed behind his head.

“I’m gonna miss this place.” Veronica tells me right before we join him. “A lot.”

“We’re all gonna miss it…” I agree with her. “But we need to find a new home… Jade is going to need her space and Ella is going to grow up… We can’t stay here forever as hard as it is for me to admit it.”

She bites her lip and sighs. “I know… We still have some time though. I’ll let you get back to your family. I need to get back to mine now.”

“Everything’s okay?” I frown.

She smiles and nods quickly. “It is. Don’t worry. Just extremely tired and aware of what I need to do… Bob!” She calls him. “Come, boy!”

He lifts his head and stands slowly, walking toward us. He stops by my legs and I crouch to scratch his neck. “Good boy.”

He licks my face making me laugh. “Go home with Veronica, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

I watch as he limps back with her… my heart squeezing at the memory of my energetic and lively dog. I wish we had the medicines to cure him completely. I don’t want him to die… he’s too important to me.

*** 

I wake up the following morning with a slap on the nose. “Ow.” I mutter opening an eye.

Jade giggles while she snuggles into her father’s side. “Sorry mommy…” Jug laughs. “That was her foot. She wiggles around like a little worm!”

I laugh as I massage my nose. “That hurt little missy!” I exclaim tickling her belly.

She giggles once more, my heart speeding up at the sound. “What about Ella?”

“Oh, I’m sure she’s going to wake up any minute now…” He snorts. “You’ve slept two hours since her last feed.”

“Will you change her for me?” I battle my eyelashes at him, smiling.

“Woman!” He exclaims. “The things you could make me do with those eyes…”

I lean up and kiss him on the lips before taking Jade from his arms and hugging her to my chest. “When did you get so big, Jadey?”

“Mamma!” She exclaims grabbing a chunk of my hair.

“Those are my hair. What did we say, Jade? No yanking on anybody’s hair.”

“No, no, no!” She exclaims pointing a small little finger at me. I can’t help but burst into a laugh. Jug does the same and kisses her cheek.

“You’re too cute, missy.” He tells her sweetly.

Right then the piercing cry of our other daughter interrupts the quietness of the room. Jade pouts. “Lla cry?”

“She’s hungry.” I explain. “Aren’t you hungry?”

She nods quickly and pats my chest.

“Okay let’s get you some milk then! Juggie will you change Ella in the meantime?”

“On it, milady.” He stands and bows at me a little, making me roll my eyes.

“Your daddy is silly!” I tell Jade laughing.

“Daddy.” She nods solemnly, as if knowing exactly what I meant.

***  
When fifteen days later we see Kevin and Fangs come back hollering and smiling my heart loses a beat. Ella is strapped to my chest while Jade is walking around attached to Jug’s hand. Everyone immediately comes out of their cabin, my dad being the first one to join us.

“Fangs!” Toni exclaims running toward him. “We were getting worried!”

“We found it!” Kevin tells us laughing. It’s three weeks of walk from here and on this side of the crevice! By truck we should be able to reach the place in three or so days…”

“How is it?” Jug asks. “Is it big enough?”

Fangs laughs. “It is. We found two nearby farms big enough for all of us, but this isn’t even the good news… there’s already wheat there! A camp full of it, guys!”

“Okay okay… let’s get inside so we can start planning.” Jug says taking Jade into his arms. She leans her head against his shoulder.

“Wait-” Veronica stops us, Sweet Pea beside her… hand in hand.

We all turn toward them.

“We’re not going to come…” Sweet Pea tells us all.

“What?” Toni asks bewildered.

“We won’t come with you guys…” Veronica repeats.

“But… Why?” I ask her softly.

“We don’t want to leave this place… It’s our home and… We need to be by ourselves for some time. Know what we really want…”

“V…” I murmur.

“Please Betty… I need this. _We need this._ ”

“But… Are we ever gonna see each other again?” Cheryl asks. “We’re family…”

“We will. Just… in a while. We’ll come looking for you.” Sweet Pea says wrapping an arm around Veronica’s shoulders.

“You need to go west… Until you reach a valley. The farms are a bit further away. South-West.” Fangs mutters. “I’m gonna miss you guys… Pea, we’ve been friends since we were little…”

“We will always be friends.” Pea tells him smiling, looking at a speechless Jughead and an almost crying Toni.

“Okay…” Jug whispers after a while. “Okay. If that’s what you need… Okay. You have our blessing…”

Jade is asleep in his arms; Ella is nodding off snuggled against my chest. My dad is leaning against a tree with Mika by his side.

“Jade is gonna miss her uncle and auntie…” I murmur. “But she’ll understand…”

“We’re gonna miss her too…” Veronica sniffles. “We’ll visit when we can…”

“Alright…” Jug says frowning. “I think… it’s enough for tonight. Tomorrow we’ll talk more…”

I wrap my hand around his elbow and squeeze. I know he’s hurting; I can feel it. He’s sharing his pain with me. Everyone scatters around in silence, the news too hard for us to digest.

We don’t talk when we put our girls to sleep, we don’t talk when we change into our pajamas… we don’t talk when we get in bed and hug each other. We’re going to lose two members of our family… My heart is breaking.  
Jughead is going to lose one of his brothers… I don’t know how he’ll be able to stand it.

I know it won’t be forever… but it’s gonna take a toll on him and all of us too.


	48. Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How are you holding up?” My dad asks wrapping his free arm around me.  
> “I’m okay… I’m more worried for Jughead…”  
> “He’s going to be okay. He has the three of you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it!  
> Writing this last chapter has been difficult but deeply satisfying.  
> It's a long chapter… I didn't want to split it anymore.  
> I hope you're going to like it… I'll be waiting to know what you all think!❤️🙏

EPILOGUE

The day we’re set to leave, three weeks later, is emotional.  
I look around our cabin, remembering every moment spent between just the two of us and with our daughters. Every nook reminds me of a special event… Jade started crawling right in front of the fireplace; she spoke her first word while I was cooking and she was munching on one of her toys… _“Dada!”_ She had exclaimed right when he entered through the door. We froze and stared at her for a good minute… until she squealed and repeated the world. We cried so much that at some point she looked at us, perplexed, as if to say _What are you two doing?_  
She started walking right in front of the cabin and after that everyday has been full of new discoveries.

Ella was conceived here, after all the pain and heartbreak.

“What are you thinking about?” Jug asks wrapping his arms around me.

I shrug. “I’m just gonna miss this place.”

“I know… I’m gonna miss it too.”

I turn into his arms. “Where are the girls?”

“Jade is saying goodbye to Sweet Pea… She’s gonna miss him. And Veronica has monopolized Ella…”

“How are you holding up?”

He sighs, frowning. “I’m not sure… I think I’ll know once we’re far away from here.”

“Okay… if you want to talk you know I’m here.”

He smiles and kisses my lips. “I know.”

“I have a question…”

“Shoot, miss inquisitive.”

“How are we going to fit in the truck?”  
  
“It’s gonna be tight but we’ll manage… Are you ready to go? Have we taken everything we need?”

“Yeah… I think we do.”

“Alright.” He takes my hand and we leave the cabin, closing the door behind ourselves.

*** 

We leave the big pigs and a couple of chickens to Veronica and Sweet Pea. We take the goats, the smaller pigs and the rest of the chickens with us… We can’t really start with nothing once we’re there.  
The truck is so full we’re not sure how it’s going to move. Every piece of furniture we believe is going to be useful has been dismantled, every piece of clothes, food for the trip… There’s not a corner that’s left unused.

Saying goodbye is the worst. My chest hurts and I can’t really stop the tears even though I’m trying so much to keep it together for Jade, who’s watching from my dad’s arms.

“I’m going to miss you…” I sob into Veronica’s neck. “Both of you.”

“I know.” She sniffles. “I’m gonna miss you too. All of you. You’re my family…”

“Take care of Bob okay?” I tell her crouching down to hug my dog. I can’t really take him with us in the condition he’s at. He wouldn’t make it.

“We will… He’s going to get better, I’m sure!”

“I hope.” I know it's not true.

I take a step back and hug Sweet Pea quickly before turning around and putting a smile on my face. Jade’s small head is hidden under her grandfather’s chin, sucking on her thumb.

“How are you holding up?” My dad asks wrapping his free arm around me.

“I’m okay… I’m more worried for Jughead…”

“He’s going to be okay. He has the three of you…”

I sigh and look at him while he says goodbye to his brother. He doesn’t let go for a long while, Toni and Fangs right beside them with tears falling down their cheeks.  
When he detaches from him, he nods and immediately turns toward us. He leans against the side of the truck, frowning.

Cheryl joins us, giving him little Ella, smiling. “It won’t be forever…”

He nods, a small smile forming on his mouth before inhaling his daughter’s sweet scent.

“Okay guys…” Sweet Pea tells us. “It’s time for you to go if you want to reach the first stop before night falls. This isn’t a real goodbye… We’re going to see each other again at some point.”

“I know…” Toni mutters trying so hard to smile. “Don’t be a stranger. You know where to find us.”

We all file into the truck; Kevin, Fangs, my dad and Jug taking the front bench while us girls all get in the back seats. Jade secured into Toni’s arms and Ella tightly strapped to my chest.

The image of Veronica and Sweet Pea’s figures weaving at us are going to stay with us for a very long time.

*** 

The first half of the daily journey is done in silence; both Jade and Ella fell asleep minutes after leaving the cabins.  
The only sound is the noise of the truck moving and the occasional fussing of the animals.

Kevin is driving with Fangs beside him, both focused on the street they have to follow; my dad and Jug are silently staring outside the windows just like we are all doing.

“Mama…” Jade little voice startles us all. Jug turns toward us, eyebrows raised.

“What is it, sweetie?”

“Hug?”

“In a little while honey okay? As soon as we stop I’ll give Ella to your daddy and I’m going to hug you for as long as you want.”

She frowns but nods, closing her eyes right after. I’m not sure she understands what has happened, I hope she won’t suffer too much though.

*** 

We reach our first stop when the sun has almost completely settled. We feed and water our animals and then we get inside a small hut. It’s awful but we don’t have a choice.

Jug rolls out the sleeping bags and sits, patting the spot beside him. Jade crawls onto his knees and wraps her arms around his neck.

I sit down, Ella well awake inside her strap. She’s been whining for the last couple of minutes now, probably in need of a diaper change and a feed. “I need to change her…” I murmur.

“Let me…” He tells me. “Jade needed you.”

I nod, taking my big girl from him and giving Ella to him. Jade visibly relaxes into my arms. “Are you hungry, baby?”

She nods and looks up at me. “Mama.”

“I love you.”

I know she’s almost too big to give her my milk but it’s the fastest way for me to feed her right now. I cuddle her to my chest and let her attach to my nipple. The teeth hurt a little but not as much as I thought.

Jug looks at us as soon as he has Ella all changed and cleaned up and smiles. “She’s going to miss her uncle…”

“I know…” I murmur. Her eyes are slowly closing on their own. “How are you Juggie?”

He sighs, frowning and looking down at our kicking Ella. “It’s hard… But he’s not dead. He’s alive. I’m sure we’re going to see them again…”

“We will.” I smile and lean a little toward him. “Kiss me?”

He immediately pecks my lips and leans his forehead against mine. We stay like that until I feel Jade’s small lips go lax.

“She’s asleep…” Jug smiles. “I think it’s Ella’s turn now. I’m sorry… I know it’s tiring…”

“It’s okay…” I shrug taking Ella back from him. He lays Jade down on one side of the sleeping bag.

We look around while everyone settles on the ground. Jerkies and dried apples get passed around, our only food until we reach the farms.

We don’t talk very much, we’re too tired to share our thoughts right now. Toni is already asleep beside Cheryl and Mika, her forehead set into a frown.  
My dad is leaning his back against the door while both Kevin and Fangs decided to remain in the truck to keep guard. I don’t think someone will come by but it’s a precaution we immediately agreed upon.

Better safe than sorry. Our lives are on that truck.

*** 

THREE DAYS LATER

We reach the first farm late in the afternoon of the fourth day. The sun is setting behind the valley, gifting us of a beautiful show. It’s old but so breathtaking… if we were able to survive three years in those cabins we’ll be able to live here too.

“This is amazing…” Toni murmurs. “I feel like crying…”

“I know what you mean T!” Her girlfriend agrees wrapping an arm around her.

“How are we going to split?” I ask holding onto a sleeping Jade. Poor girl, the trip took a toll on her and Ella too. But it was worthy.

“We’ve talked a bit about this…” Mika says. “We’re going to share one of the houses while you, Jug and your girls will take the other-”  
  
“Mika, there is no need…” I interrupt her, my heart beating so fast. I look at Jughead and he’s bewildered by what she said as much as me.

“It’s decided.” My father tells me smiling. “You’re a family, you need the space.”

“Guys…” Jughead murmurs.

“Don’t worry boss…” Fangs winks coming toward him. “You deserve it.”

“But… Is the house big enough for all of you?”

“It is! There are four rooms and so much space… And there is a small guest house too. With time I’m sure we’ll be able to renovate it if we need to.” Toni smiles taking my free hand. “Please… You’ve been through a lot. Both of you.”

I look at Jughead, speechless. He shrugs and smiles.

“Okay.” He agrees quietly, his voice moved by his emotions. “Okay… Thank you.”  
  
“Come on guys! Let’s put the animals in the barn and unload your stuff!” Mika exclaims. “Is this house okay?”

“It’s perfect…” I nod. “Where is the other one?”

“Down that road.” Kevin points toward the only dirty road that runs along two big fields cultivated with wheat. “See? We’re going to be neighbors! And we have an artesian well too… Water for all of us!”  
  
“That’s good news…” My dad nods. “We’ll be able to water our cultivation and keep the animals alive.”  
  
“What about them? I mean… the animals. We can’t keep all of them…”  
  
“Don’t worry Betts. For tonight we’ll leave them here… We’re going to split them up in tge morning. Alright?” Toni tries to reassure me.  
  
I nod and smile, leaning my head against her shoulder.

Jug takes Ella from Cheryl’s arms and holds her tightly to himself. “Thank you, guys… for everything.”

The tears that fall from my eyes are inevitable.

*** 

Settling into our house is easier than we both thought. Yeah, it’s dusty but it seems like everything is exactly as it was when the owners left it. There are many broken things due to the earthquakes but a big part of it is intact, thankfully.  
The first thing we do is find a place to put our daughters to sleep. One of the rooms must have belonged to a child because it’s completely furnished with stuff suitable for one. The bed is small, there are many toys scattered around the pavement and the walls are decorated with bees, flowers, green grass and white fluffy clouds.

After Jughead has roughly dusted the covers we put Jade in bed. Ella is still sleeping in his arms.

“We need to assemble the crib.” I murmur as I look down at her sweet face.

“I’ll do it… Relax for now. It’ll take a while.” He kisses me and Ella’s forehead before leaving the room.

I sit on the bed beside Jade and look at my daughters. We’ve accomplished so much in the last couple of years that I almost can’t believe it’s real.  
The sun is almost completely gone, leaving the house in a state of semi-darkness. Jade sighs in her sleep attracting my attention; her lips are heart shaped and settled into a cute pout. My big baby is beautiful, my heart speeding at the thought that she’s half me and half jughead… The perfect union. Ella too.

Speaking of the little missy she chooses that moment to wake up with a whine. I immediately leave the room so that she won’t wake her sister up and leave the door a bit open.

“Are you hungry?” She scrunches up her small face and whines once more, ready to cry. “Hush, hush… You can eat now.”

I push my shirts down and let her latch to my nipple. She immediately starts to suck greedily with her eyes wide open looking up at me.

“See? This is our new home… You’re going to grow up here… You’re going to have your own room and live happily.” She pats her small hand against my chest. “I know you don’t understand right now but you will. This world is going to be difficult and challenging but you’ll survive. Just like we all did… me, your daddy, your grandad and your uncles and aunties. Now you just need to grow up into the strong little girl I know you’ll become.”

“Hey…” Jug murmurs coming from the other room, right beside Jade’s. “The crib is ready. Whenever she’s done, we can put her to bed. I’ll go fetch one of our oil lamps. It’s getting darker by the minute…”

“Alright. We’ll wait for you then…”

The room is just as big as Jade’s but without all the decoration and toys scattered around. It must have been a teenager's room… there are books and trinkets everywhere. The bed is medium sized, and the closet is full of girly clothes. That’s good. Something for my girls to wear when they’ll grow.

Where has this family gone? The house hasn’t suffered from the earthquake… at least not at first glance. In the morning we’ll have to inspect it thoroughly though. But where are they? The little child and the sister? Did they leave right after the earthquake? Where they not home when it happened and maybe didn’t make it?  
My heart breaks at the thought.

Ella snorts against my chest and I look down seeing her fast asleep. I carefully put her in the crib beside the bed and sit down, waiting for Jug.  
He arrives a moment later anticipated by a feeble warm light. “Is she asleep?”

“Yep.” I sigh standing up. “I’m dead tired Jug…”

“Me too… Come, I’ve found the master bedroom.” He holds out his hand, but I hesitate. “What?”

“It’s strange… not having them in the same room as ours.”

He takes a step toward me and strokes my cheek, gently. “The front and back door are closed, there’s no one here… They need to get used to sleeping in a room by themselves. And we won’t be far away, we’ll be able to hear if something happens…”

I bite my lip, frowning, and I look back at our sleeping Ella. She’s at peace, her chest rising and falling with deep breaths. “You’re right… let’s go.”

He takes my hand and drags me outside. “I’ve already dusted the bed. We’ll have to roll up our sleeves in the morning… this house in a mess. Years of dust everywhere.”

Our bedroom is right beside the bathroom. It’s big and spacious; there are things on the ground in here too… the mirror is broken but besides that everything seems repairable.  
I brush my fingers against the picture of a family. The smiling people looking at me are haunting. I put it face down and turn my back to it. Jughead is observing me, eyes soft and lips turned slightly upward into a small smile. “What is it?”

He shrugs. “Nothing… just looking at my wife.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his lips. The flame of the lamp flickers, projecting strange shadows all over the walls. He hugs me tightly to himself.

“I’m glad we did this… I’m glad we moved. Our girls will have a much brighter future here.” He whispers against my neck.

“I know…” I kiss him once again. “I love you Juggie.”

“I love you.”

He drags me to the bed, falling onto it and taking me with him.  
  
I turn on my side and stare at him, the moonlight filtering through the window. “I want to make love to you…” I murmur.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

I nod. “I am.”

He smiles and kisses my lips. “Good. Because I want you so much right now it almost hurts…”

He rolls over me and I wrap my legs around his waist, holding him to myself. I kiss him then, or at least I try. He just teases me… smirking when I follow his mouth.

“Stop teasing me. I want you…” I scowl pinching his side.

He laughs and squirms against me; I can feel him, hard… right where I want him. “Have you taken your tea?”

“I have. This morning…” I confirm. “Please… I want you.”

He drags his lips against the skin of my neck and pushes both my pants and panties down my legs. He immediately puts his fingers on my clit, massaging it gently, with a steady rhythm. I arc my back, pervaded by a blinding pleasure, and I moan.

“Is this enough?” He growls holding my head back with his free hand.

“N-no… J-Juggie…” He pushes two fingers inside, taking my breath away… the words instantly leaving my mind. He drags them against that spot I love so much, the one only he can find, and I moan loudly.

“Hush my darling… Hush…” He pants into my ear. “You’ll wake the girls…”

I snap my mouth shut, teeth grinding, and eyes half closed… “Right there Juggie…”

“Oh I know, my love…” He speeds up the movement of his fingers and puts his thumb against my clit. The feeling is too intense, I start trembling into his arms… gaze locked with his right as I start to feel the orgasm overtake my entire body. He holds me tightly as I shake uncontrollably.

“Okay… Okay. Juggie… okay!”

He withdraws his fingers and licks them while he stares at me. “I’ve missed this.”

I push him on his back, undress him of his layers and settle right over his hardening member. His eyes roll back, and a moan leaves his mouth when I start grinding against him. I’m in no rush… we have all the time in the world for tonight… So I keep moving on him, teasing him and myself for as long as I want.

“Betts… If you keep doing this, I’m going to come against my own stomach.” He growls, hands tightening on my hips.

“That’s not what we want…” I gasp as I sink on him.

He rolls us over immediately, takes one of my thighs pushing it upward and getting even deeper inside. “Is this what we want?” He mutters.

I nod quickly and sink my nails into the skin of his shoulders. “Yes J-Juggie-”

“Yeah…” He pants speeding up. “I won’t be able to last long…”

I shrug and moan. “Won’t be a problem-”

He pushes a hand in between us and holds his thumb against my clit, stimulating it at the same time as his thrusts. He wraps his lips over one of my sensitive nipples and bites gently. Shivers run all over my body and I tense when I feel the orgasm overtake me once more. He stops to savor the feeling of my clenching walls around him but doesn’t stay put for too long. With the little energy left in me I squeeze my inner muscles around him… he comes with a grunt a couple of thrusts later.  
He falls against me, trembling. “That was… amazing.”

I nod, too tired to say anything at all. He leaves the bed to take a towel from one of the drawers. He comes back, helps me clean up and joins me under the flimsy sheet, wrapping his arms around me.

“Tomorrow is going to be perfect…” He murmurs. “And every day after that…”

*** 

ONE YEAR LATER 

Everything has fallen into place after that night.  
Our lives have finally settled and there’s not a thing in the world I love more than the sight of my girls living their life at their fullest. They can run around, as much as Ella can since she’s just over a year old, and help us tend to the animals.  
We have a whole family of chickens now. Chickens, pigs, goats and to our delight, turkeys… We found them a while ago, they were hidden in the nearby woods… We also had our first thanksgiving together. All of us… and it was perfect.  
There’s still no sight of Sweet Pea and Veronica but we’re confident that they will come. At some point.

“Mommy! Mommy!” I hear Jade call my name with enthusiasm. She’s running around with a baby chicken in her hands followed by Jug and my dad, both laughing.  
I kneel when she comes to me. “What is it baby?”

“I’m not a baby mommy!” She frowns. “Ella is!”

I look up at Jug and he shakes his head. “Alright missy. You’re a big baby then!”

She looks up at her dad, pondering his words for a moment before she nods. “I am.”

“You wanted to show me something?” I ask her. She has dirt and mud all over her clothes. When we inspected the attic we found many clothes of all ages… They must have belonged to the girl who lived here with her parents; and now, as much as sometimes it pains me, we are using those clothes for our babies.

“Look at baby chicken! All black, mommy!”

“It is!” I exclaim looking up at my dad and Jug. “Where is its mommy though? Don’t you think she must be worried?”

She looks up at her dad. “She worried?”

“Probably. Your mommy would be worried if she didn’t see you…”

She stares at me then. “Really?”

“So much.” I hug her to myself. “Why don’t you give the baby chicken back to your grandpa? He will take it back to its mommy…”

She shrugs her little shoulders and goes to him. “Take baby chicken to mommy?”

My dad takes it gently into his hands. “Thank you Jadey, I will…”

“It’s okay grandpa…” She pats his hand and comes back to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I take her into my arms and stand up.

“Where’s Ella?” Jug asks siding us.

“Toni wanted to show her something… I’m not sure what she was talking about.” I smile when he kisses my forehead.

“Daddy kiss!” Jade exclaims looking up at him.

He snorts. “Will you give me one if I give you one?”

She nods quickly. “Yes daddy!”

He laughs, amused, and kisses her small, soft cheek. She gives one back right away, leaving a spot of wet saliva on his chin. “Messy girl…”

Yeah, our lives are almost perfect. We went through difficult moments… Cheryl broke an arm six months ago while she was helping renovate the barn. She fell down the ladder and the rest is history. She got lucky… it could have ended far worse than it did. Now she’s going through rehabilitation under the watchful eye of her girlfriend.

We’re renovating the houses. The roofs needed some work of repairing and the guys are adamant in trying to transform one of the barns into a third house… I’m not sure how they’ll be able to do that, but we decided to let them do whatever they want.  
We’re happy… So much. We have working artesian wells, food, our medicinal herbs and everything we need to survive.  
I know I’ve said it many times but the day I met Jughead and his friends I became part of something, part of a family that loves me and cherishes me and never makes me feel inadequate or not enough.

“What are you thinking about?” Jughead asks wrapping an arm around my waist. Jade is preoccupied with a lock of my hair, trying to braid the strands… It’s going to be difficult to detangle them tonight.

“Our family…” I smile looking up at him. “How my life changed… _our lives_.”

“True… Who knows where I’d be if I hadn’t met you.”

“We would have met each other anyway. Soulmates… remember?”

His eyes soften when they meet my gaze. “How could I forget.”

I bite my lip nervously. There is something I need to tell him… Something unexpected but that I hope he’s going to take as a good omen. “Juggie…”

“What?” He asks smiling.

“I need to tell you something…”

“You’re pregnant.” He keeps smiling, shocking me.

My mouth hangs open. “How…”

“Your forgot that I got you pregnant twice before… I know you so well by now. I know how you get when you’re expecting… You become all soft and moody. _Also_ … I just have this feeling every time I touch you…”

I smile widely shaking my head. “I can’t even surprise you anymore… Are you okay with this?”

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

“We weren’t trying… I’m not sure what happened. I was taking the tea…”

“Betts… It’s _our baby_.” He tells me touching my flat stomach and smirking. “Ours… And I’m hoping for a little boy after all.”

“Me too!” I nod quickly. “We’ll wait to tell the others just like we did before… But what about them?”

He looks at a sleepy Jade in my arms. “We could tell them… Jade is going to be so excited.”

“We’ll tell them then… But-”

“No buts! Everything’s going to be okay.”

He’s right. Sometimes my negativity comes back followed by anxiety and doubts but he’s right. I need to focus on the good things we have and the peace around us, the love I feel everyday and how lucky we got in finding this place. We won’t ever be able to thank Kevin and Fangs enough.

“Let’s go inside…” I murmur. “We’ll find a way to tell them…”

*** 

The day our son is born the last piece of my heart that was still haunted by my past recovers, brightens and starts beating in perfect sync with the rest of it. We did it alone this time around, in the comfort of our home while Jade and Ella were having a sleepover with their grandpa. Our baby boy couldn’t have chosen a better time to come… And Jug was perfectly capable of helping me through the labor.

Finding a name has been easier this time because we were so sure he was going to be a boy… _I felt it in my bones._ Dylan Jones was the first name that came to my mind, functioning both for a boy or girl if it turned out to be a girl.

The morning after I woke up at the image of Jughead holding his son, hands so delicate and tears in his eyes. He told me many times of his fear of not being able to raise a boy… His father was so unfit that he really believed he would fail with a boy.  
_“It could be in my DNA.”_ He told me one night not too long ago.

But I knew he was scared for nothing. He’s perfect.

“Juggie…”

He turns toward me, sniffling. “I love him… I won’t ever be like my father.”

“I know. Always knew.” I murmur. “Come here?”

He sits beside me and gives me the baby. We stay in silence for a while, just basking in the moment…  
He’s the perfect mix. Half me half Jughead through and through.

“You did amazing Betts…” He smiles. “As usual…”

“It was easier this time. I think… I think he’s going to be our last though. What do you think?”

“Whatever you want… My life is perfect as it is.”

“Okay…”

The sound of someone knocking catches Jughead’s attention and he immediately stands up. “I’m sure it’s your dad with the girls… I’ll be right back okay?”

“We’ll wait here for you.”

I listen has he descends the stairs and moves through the house until he reaches the door. After that I turn my gaze on my sleeping boy; he’s so perfect… I hope I’ll be able to raise him just as well as I did with the girls… because I know I’m doing a good job with them. The memory of my mother’s awful behavior has encouraged me to do my best… I scold them when they do something wrong and let them know I do that just because I love them and I wish for them only the best.

When I hear the steps come up the stairs I expect to see my sweet girls come running into the room but as I look up, ready to tell them to be quiet and careful what I see leaves me speechless.

“Hey B…” Veronica’s soft voice resounds around the quietness of the place. Sweet Pea is right beside her and a very moved Jughead is standing just a step behind them.

“I see we came right on time…” Sweet Pea jokes. “Last time we saw each other you had a small baby… Now you have another! You’re going to conquer the world!”

“V…” I murmur. “Pea… When?”

“It was time for us to join the family… We missed you.” Veronica tells me taking a step forward. “Can I see the baby?”

“Yeah… Dylan, Dylan Jones… He was a surprise…” I whisper looking down at him. “We… We missed you too. We’ve never given up on the possibility of seeing you again…”

“He’s beautiful… A boy!” She looks back at Jughead, who’s still leaning against the wall outside the room. “Come inside! What are you doing there?”

“I’m still trying to understand if I’m dreaming or not…” He mutters dragging the palm of his hand against his face.

Pea claps him on the shoulder. “All real!”

“Are you going to stay?” I ask quietly. Dylan sighs in his sleep.

“We are… We were going to kill each other if we spent one more day by ourselves!” Veronica exclaims. “I love him, but I needed some girl time and… We realized how much we were missing on. The girls must be little women by now…”

“Don’t let me think about it…” Jug sighs stepping inside and sitting on his side of the bed. “Jade has quite the personality while Ella is as quiet and curious as ever… You’ll see them. I’m sure Hal is bringing them back home..”

“And this little guy? How old is he?” Sweet Pea asks sweetly leaning over Veronica’s head to take a peek at him.

“Uhm… Maybe twelve hours?”

“No way!” Veronica exclaims disrupting my sleeping baby. He frowns and opens his eyes a little before a small whine leaves his mouth. “I’m sorry!” She apologizes.

“Don’t worry… He was meant to wake up any minute. He needs to eat, the little guy!” I whisper patting him gently on the but.

“We did the right thing…” She says looking up at her boyfriend.

“I know Ronnie, we did.”

I don't ask of Bob, I already know the answer and my heart breaks a little.

*** 

Not too long after their return my dad brings our girls back home. His surprise in finding out that Veronica and Sweet Pea are back with us is overcome by the news that he has a grandson now.

He hugs Jughead tightly before looking down at Dylan, sleeping in the bassinet. “He’s beautiful… You two make beautiful babies.”

“We do, right?” I smile glancing back at my over emotional husband.

The familiar step of my big girl running up the stairs alerts me of her arrival and a moment later she’s scrambling up the side of the bed to give me a hug and kiss me. “Where is my little brother?”

“Look Jadey…” Jug murmurs, “Right there… He’s sleeping, so we need to be extra quiet okay? And very careful because he’s fragile right now…”

Veronica joins us with Ella in her arms, a little shy but very happy to be held by someone. “There’s your little brother, see?”

She looks down into the bassinet and smiles.

“Mommy, he is all wrinkly!” Jade frowns. “Is he old like grandpa?”

The laughs can’t be contained. Sweet Pea almost falls over, my dad has to sit on a chair while Jughead falls back down on the bed beside us. Veronica does her very best to hold back the tears while Ella and Jade both stare at us, perplexed.

“No sweetie!” I tell her, hugging her to myself. “He’s not old like grandpa! You’ll see that in a couple of days his skin will be as smooth as yours!”

“Oh Jadey, I love you.” Jug smiles leaning against his elbow.

“I love you too daddy.”

“Are you happy that your uncle Pea and auntie V are back?” I ask her.

“I am! Very much!” She exclaims happily. “Do you want to play with me Peee?”

He takes her into his embrace and makes her fly in the air. Her squeals widening all of our smiles. “Of course I want to!”

“We’re coming with you guys…” Veronica says. “We’ll give you some time.”

“So…” Jug tells. “Old man huh?”

“Oh stop it, Jones! I am not old! It’s just an impression and if anything I am wise!”

I snort but hide it behind a cough when he stares at me, unamused. “Sorry dad, you’re right.”

“Damn right I am!”

*** 

We asked my dad to go tell the others we wanted to spend a day together without telling about Veronica, Sweet Pea or Dylan.

The moment Toni and Fangs see their old friend they launch themselves at him and don’t let go for a very long time. They don’t even notice the new addition to the family laying wide awake into my arms, thing that Kevin, Cheryl and Mika notice right away instead.

After a few moments of pure chaos things settle down and everyone sits around us. Toni is still drying her tears while she leans against Cheryl.

“I can’t believe you’re back!” She exclaims blowing her nose. “And I can’t believe you had the baby without calling me!”

“It happened quickly… Jug was amazing.”

“I still need to see if everything’s okay…”

“I know…” I smile. “And you will.”

“He’s beautiful…” Cheryl sniffles. “A boy! I thought you were going to pop out little girls for the rest of your lives!”

“Very funny Cher!” Jug snorts amused, everyone laughs wetly. “But he’s probably going to be our last…”

“I won’t believe it till I see it!” Kevin exclaims. “You two reproduce like rabbits!”

My father coughs patting his chest and I can’t help but blush. “I don’t need to know these things!” He mutters. “Too much information!”

“It’s not like you didn’t know before…” Mika teases. He glares at her but soon after shakes his head in defeat.

Jug squeezes my hand while Jade and Ella are playing with their toys on the rug.

In the end our lives really couldn’t get any better. We were finally all together, my children beside me, my awesome husband still trying to grasp the fact that his best friend's back, and a safe place to live in for the rest of our lives.  
This right here has always been my dream, a dream that I believed I would never have but has become even more perfect than what I had imagined when I was little, scared by my mother’s constant abuse.

I still don’t know what made her hate me like she did. But you know what? I don’t care. I don’t need to know.  
I look at my family, so diverse, so kind, so full of different ideas… capable of using dialogue to make things right and not belittle each other.

 _Love_. That’s all I’m feeling. Love and _belonging_.  
I belong to someone and someone belongs to me. I know I can trust every single one of these people, no one excluded. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for after all? True love, no matter who catches our heart; trust… without which it would be impossible to create something meaningful; and belonging.

Who cares about the internet? Who cares about smartphones, make up, beautiful hair, perfect image, television or money? __

_We are alive!_ We survived!

The world is beautiful as it is without people trying to own pieces of it. We don’t need industrialization; we need to use our hands _and_ heads. We lost the ability of using our own heads to do the smallest thing.

Being able to get back to how it was meant to be since the very beginning is amazing. And I hope with all my heart we’re not the only ones. I hope there are people around, thriving exactly as we are. Everyone deserves a second chance after all.

I can finally say I am happy. I am my own person now, surrounded by my people… The end of the world set me free, I couldn’t ask for anything better.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to know what you think but rude comments will be ignored and obliterated. I'm all for constructive advices, so please… Let me know!


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